Showing posts from October, 2012

How to Fill your Freezer with Wild Game

[This is meant to be satire] 

1. Buy a young beef cow from a local farmer.

2. Raise your beef on a diet of pine needles and bark.

3. In October, bring all your friends over to help you butcher the animal. At sunrise, have all your friends gather together for a tail-gate party; drink lots of beer.

4. Get the dog to chase the beef around the yard for a couple of hours. Use a four-wheeler to help if necessary. Tire the beef out, and pump as much adrenaline into the beef as possible; have your buddies take wild shots at it, scaring the living crap out of it. Try to be as rambunctious as possible.

5. After the beef starts to get really tired, gut shot it. If you can, shoot it a couple of more times, hitting it in the best cuts of meat, preferably the loin and the back legs. Stand back, and let nature take its course. Wait for a few hours; 5 or 8 is best.  Drink beer.

6. Find dead carcass, and field dress it; try to get as much dirt, leaves, and sticks in it as possible. Use a dry, dead sti…