Obscure Arcanum - Chapter One

There's a kind of mystique about a diary. It's a collection of personal thoughts, and events; usually a very personal affair. - Most individuals protect their diaries with the utmost care.

A diary (also called journal) is a record (originally in handwritten format) with discrete entries arranged by date reporting on what has happened over the course of a day or other period. A personal diary may include a person's experiences, and/or thoughts or feelings, including comment on current events outside the writer's direct experience. Someone who keeps a diary is known as a diarist. 

I've been keeping an online diary since May 4th, 2014. I've never written a diary until then, because I honestly didn't see the point. My analytical side only saw vulnerability, and it never would have occurred to me that there could be a usefulness to writing down my personal thoughts. I understand that many do find comfort with keeping track of dates, weather, events, and the simple passage of time. My maternal grandmother kept a written diary, cataloguing birthdays, and her own thoughts and feelings; it was helpful for her to remember dates, and people, as well as bragging rights to having a better record of weather than the Canadian meteorological institute. Mine started out much simpler; it was a way for my mom to keep track of me from day to day, but soon morphed into something much more. Now, I look forward to writing daily, and make great efforts when I can.

This is the first chapter in a new diary. Since this is a new year, I decided that my journal should reflect that. If you haven't had the chance to read the original, I would recommend you take the time to do so. After all, every story is best told from the beginning.

Turn the Page 
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight

Life has changed for me. I went from living in North-Western Ontario, to finding my way around Southern Ontario. So much is different. I've done things I never dreamed of before, and met all sorts of new friends. My daily struggle with my health has become a focal point; by understanding my strengths, I can deal with my weaknesses. My ultimate goal in life has also changed; instead of mere survival and obscurity, I am trying to become famous. My goals of writing screen plays, novels, stories, and pushing to become an actor, are my focal point now. A lifetime of dreams, and a plethora of skill-sets involving theater and acting are the resources that I draw from.

If you've ever wanted to read someones diary, here's your chance..........

January 2nd, 2015
The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals. ~~ Melody Beattie

Happy New Year!! Gone are the disappointments of 2014; the heartbreak, the loss, and the struggle of a dead-end. I await the promises that this year will afford, and look forward to many more adventures.

It's cold. OK, it's not as cold as some people have it, but the weather has definitely changed to reflect the season. Up until now, it has been quite warm compared to what I'm used to, and I can't say I'm sorry. I've never had a green Christmas until now; with temperatures above freezing and no snow, I've quite enjoyed the change. For example, yesterday in North-Western Ontario it was -38 Celsius, while here it was a balmy -9, with no snow on the ground.

I'm still staying at Diane and Greg's house in London. I've made arrangements to move out into a place of my own, however, my timing is horrid; apparently the world stops turning from the middle of December to the second week in January. So here I remain; like an ogre living under the stairs, and still living out of a suitcase. I have so much to thank them for, but I really need to move.

My writing has improved ten-fold! Even I can see the difference. I guess that's what happens when it's all you do, right? From daily journal entries and constantly working on books, I barely do anything else.

Well, I should jet. Things to see, people to do....... Best of luck to all in 2015!!

9 pm
This afternoon I decided to go visit one of my friends. I got on the bus, and headed downtown. Once there, I shot a text, "What bus do I get on that takes me by your house?" Well, after receiving my answer, I decided to wander around aimlessly. Not on purpose, trust me! I would have rather NOT been walking around in the cold, but I eventually found the #2. I boarded the bus and started driving around London. I.Went. The. Wrong. Way..... Ugh.

After an hour long ride, I found myself back uptown. :Fuck it", I muttered, ad jumped off the bus. I glanced at the GPS. "1.2 KM"...... I can walk that. It took me half the time to get to buddy's, than I wasted on the bus going the wrong way. 

I had a blast! I met a few new friends,. WE are going to start a role playing group!! WOOT! Not Advanced Dungeons and Dragon...but a system of SUPERHEROES! It's a d20 system, but role pay is always the key. I'm going to try and set up a Facebook page so our group can share better, and vastly improve our gaming.

Anyone in London like to role pay? We are taking applications.

I already know what character I'm going to play; a spellweaver. Rather than cast spells, or use psyonics, my suit-and-tie-wearing magic user will join a select few mutants / geniuses to protect the planet. WE already have one innate hero that can manipulate energy. I hear another one is an extremely  gifted marksman with godlike speed. There are others, but I'm excited to once again get back into impromptu role play, for many reasons.......

A) I meet new people.
2) It gives me inspiration to write about. Who knows, right? This stuff might be the next big Canadian film, via screen plays based on gaming sessions.....It wouldn't be the first time that has happened in history.......
D) I get to role play/ improve act. It's good practice for me as an actor. It's one of my favourite, and oldest hobbies.......

We took notes, and decided on a great campaign, and before long it was time to go.

I decided to punish myself for getting on the wrong bus, so I walked downtown. Not that big a deal; it's only hop skip and a jump away, right? So I walked downtown...... And I was all, "Hey! I know where I am....", and I kept walking. Hmmm.......Kept walking.... and walking.....

....now, Here's a little thing about me; I don't like sitting around waiting. When I get to a bus stop, and the wait is over 15 minutes, I'll keep walking. I would arrive at bus-route, and check the schedule, and just keep going.

I walked all the way home.

It felt good! I'm a little tired, and my feet are sore, but I had a really good chance to think. My mind carried at  least 3 different ideas the whole time; toying with names, ideas, characters, my current work, the world we live in, fate, being single........ [sigh] .....Being single sucks. Aannyway...  I am now home, and probably a little buzzed from the endorphins my brain is shooting my tired legs.... It might account for the rambling..... It could also be the excitement I feel about actually getting back into a REAL role playing campaign!

Just what I need.... Another plot line to write about. Whew! I better get some of this (bad word) work done!

December 3rd
So I designed an advertisment for Craigslist. Now keep in mind this is entirely photoshopped, but it's for a background story of the "Great Lake Guardians" role playing game.

Anyway, now that I have that accomplished, it's on to writing.  I might have to go uptown in a bit...

.....but I need to get my work done. As I find other stories to write, some are getting left on the back burner.

P.S. As for role playing with friends, that may take a bit of time to set up and get rolling.

January 4th
PLUS ONE this morning!! For comparison sakes, I had to check out Fort Frances weather.....Yup! It's an icebox. For year I suffered through the major differences of heat and ice the Rainy River District had to offer, and now I can take comfort in knowing that this year I won't be contending with such radical temperatures.

I deleted my "Plenty of Fish" profile this morning; I know that I explained last year about how I gave up listing myself on "Craigslist" [see "Turn the Page", Chapter Eight], well now I went the final distance and removed myself entirely from the World Wide Web. Why, you ask? It's simple; I go on the dating website, and peruse tons of profiles. I check out the pictures, read what the women had written, and then respond to those I like. The problem, is that I rarely get a return message, which leads me to beleive that...
A) The site is not working
2) I am undesirable
D) All of the above.

I actually did find someone I liked recently, but when I explained the truth of my situation, I never heard from her again. Let's face it, women are looking for a free ride in my experience and are unwilling to work with someone in my situation; basically a man starting over from scratch. Fact is, I REALLY liked this woman; cute, AND very intelligent. I guess it's a single life for me. I just wish someone loyal would give me half a chance.........

......yadda, yadda, stuff to do, etcetera, rinse, repeat. Have a good day.

1 pm
I just received a message from a friend living in Winnipeg. 

 "Oh please do the Winnipeg/London comparison!!" 

 This is for you Bear.......

 So, it turns out, he wins for cold. Now I'm sure there are colder places in Canada right now, but this was just a friendly exercise to compare against my buddies. (And tease those still back in Fort Frances) Upon review, however, I noticed I made a mistake on the Winnipeg one; normally I take great strides in cleaning up the picture EI: removing the browser and extraneous stuff. This time I forgot to trim the edges, and it plainly shows my last "Google search". Talk about irony, eh? :p

Back to work.

January 5th
 Proverbs 27:14 - Whoever blesses his neighbor with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, will be counted as a curse.

It's Monday morning, the first day for many to head back to school. I've been waiting for today to start making phone calls to finish setting up the arrangements for my new place. I'm looking forward to setting up a studio of sorts - Somewhere I can write, paint, sculpt, and think. More importantly, a place where I can finally unpack my things, and call home. It's been a long time since I had the foundation of what might be deemed "home"; many attempts to create such an institution have failed, and all because of broken promises.

Still not sleeping well. Combine nightmarish, waking dreams with a constant lack of sleep, and it makes for a strong desire of sanctity and a place of seclusion.

So, the phone calls have been made, and once again I'm playing the waiting game. I feel stuck, as though I somehow have no choice in anything, and forced to wait on others.

December 7th
Snow. The crystallized flakes of frozen droplets of water. So innocent looking, so peaceful, yet no other weather condition causes more cancellations than snow. It could be colder than a polar bear's ass, but if the roads are clear no one cancels school. You never hear about traffic cancellations in the summer caused by weather. But snow! I mean, the frozen crap even has it's own cliche when it causes disruptions to traffic and daily events; Snow Day. There is such a thing as a Rainy Day, but that proverb has to do with saving money, not weather. If you think about rainy days, it creates imagery in the form of tackling projects that have been put aside. Unlike a Snow Day, because if people are told to remain at home due to weather conditions, it too would afford the chance to catch up on housework, or sort through old boxes in the form of a purge, or even take the time to clean the garage, but we don't. Snow days are spent re-shovelling driveways, and kids playing in the fresh, fallen snow. Life grinds to a halt it seems when great amounts of snow falls, and even the mindset of people change. I still don't understand why.

Now I'm going to go out on a limb here, and make the statement that organizations and people that live in Southern Ontario are BONKERS when it snows. "OH MY GAWD!! We're going to die!!", kinda bonkers. They get 5 CM of the white stuff, and buses stop running, and events get cancelled. I'm basing this on the fact that I come from a place that doesn't panic when the snow flies. 5 CM?! HELL, we get that much every morning due to the extreme cold squeezing the last drop of moisture from the air, like a wrung out dishrag. 30 CM wouldn't be enough to necessarily cancel school, and besides, only the buses are cancelled; my mother would throw us all in the van and drive our frozen butts to school. Our mom didn't believe in snow days.

The biggest difference between North-Western Ontario and Southern Ontario is the temperature. Which is probably why I scoff at the cancellation due to weather conditions of  5-10 CM of snow with -10 or colder. My mother's old blue van could plow through 30 CM of snow without slowing down, but the heater didn't work very good, so licking the frozen seat or belt buckle meant having your tongue stick to it....... Which made mom laugh at you. And stop at the store so Grandpa could tease you. You know? Good times.

Maybe I'm just getting weary of living in a nanny state; on International news yesterday, a headline caught my eye, "Sledding to become illegal in _____ state" (I forget which part of the USA) I don't think it's possible to roll my eyes hard enough in light of such idiocy! What have we become?!?!  I'm appalled at how soft our species is getting! I'm sick of how badly the government thinks it needs to intervene in our lives!

So now, if you get a Snow Day, it's illegal to take your children sliding. I'm not making this up, I swear.

Anyway I hope everyone has a safe and happy Tuesday. Hopefully I get the phone call I've been waiting to hear.........and that I move within the next couple days or so. I'm nervous, starting out again, but excited to finally unpack my stuff. Talk soon.

Still no word from housing, and I may lose this new place we've been trying to get. There are still offices that haven't opened yet since the new year. [sigh]

I found an article I highly recommend reading, entitled, "This is How We Date Now".

January 9th
The paperwork has been signed. I move tomorrow afternoon. It's going to be weird, suddenly unpacking my things. I have lived out of a suitcase for so long, the idea of unpacking seems foreign. I'm eagerly awaiting the idea of setting up surround sound in my room, so I can use ambiance "youtube videos" I've found. Check em out... Pick your favourite topic, and search for music. They even have Star Trek ones where you can listen to what a star ship sounds like in space for 10-12 hours. Youtube has everything.....

...anyway, I'm nervous and excited. I'm going to be setting up my art studio finally.
I asked, and there is not rules against me painting, et all....So here we go, eh? Finally going to be putting down some roots.

11 pm
Well, here it is; the final night at the Lawrence house. I would like to go on public record, and thank both Diane and Greg for everything they had done for me! I could not be where I am today without the l and resourcefulness of you two! Thank you for opening your hearts and home to me for so long. It's been a privilege and an honour to be your ogre under the stairs. I will look back at our time together with fondness, and look forward to many more fun times ahead. I love you both!

I have my keys. I've already taken one load over to the new place; the rest goes Saturday afternoon. After which, I start setting up my life. Weird......

...as for the meme? If I could marry one woman, ANY woman, who would it be?

January 10th
Moving day. Not much to say except that after I write this entry, I'll be packing up my computer, and loading it and everything else in the van. Diane will drive me over to my new place, and I start setting up my new studio. (It's what I'm calling it - bedroom doesn't sound right) I will be sharing a living room, kitchen, and a bathroom with a couple of roommates, but my room is my own. It's where I plan to write, paint, and rehearse lines.

It will take a while to get things set up. I have a new desk that my mom bought for me (thank you mom) and that has to be set up before I can really do anything else. It will be a few days to set up, because I plan on taking my time; get the basics set up EI: Bed, computer, etc. After a while I'll get the painting part arranged too.

Changing the subject, I want to go out on a limb here, and make a statement regarding the newly emerging laws about tobogganing. All over Canada and the USA, cities and municipalities are banning the age-old popular winter sport. Fines range from $2000 to $5000.

You ever wonder how fast those crazy carpets or flying saucers go? Distance / Speed = Time. (probably the only time in my life I've ever actually used this equation)

We used to build a sled hill when I was younger. Not some straight track you see kids today use, but an actual luge run, complete with 4-8 foot walls ma
de of snow and ice. Once built we would use the garden hose and spray water on it; and as you can imagine, in North-Western Ontario it froze pretty well. Once we had 1-2 inches of ice built up on the run (very strong) we would take a tiger-torch (propane tank with big flamethrower) and smooth out the ripples, and take off the bumps.

Then we would use thin plastic disks to propel ourselves screaming down the hill....

......we figured out how fast we were going by using the above equation. 90-100 Km/H (I'm not making this up)

Now.....that was fun, but you know me, there is always room for improvement. So we devised a game where one would sit backwards, and one forwards, both trying to knock the other person off their slippery piece of thin plastic going 100 KM/H down a twisting, turning, block of ice. Players routinely found themselves with banged heads, or buried in the snowbank pretty deep. No one went to the hospital for injuries related to our fun.

Kids today are pansies.

January 13th
Well, the desk is set up in the new place. I realize it's been a couple of days, but not much to really write about. I'm living in a house that has been turned into a commercial residential complex. I have 9 roommates on three separate levels. No one is close, in fact we barely talk. I tried being friendly with everyone, but it would appear socializing is not part of the household tradition. Each day is spent in quiet and seclusion. Oh well, it's just temporary, right? Check out my newest attempt to bring the truth to light about energy production in Canada.

The good news? Uninterrupted opportunity to write and paint. I've already made it to chapter 8 in "Once bitten", and I've got four new paintings started. Like I said, what else am I going to do, right?

I guess mother nature and old man winter wanted to remind me that it is still in fact winter; -22 degrees this morning. Ugh! Oh well, not like I was going to leave the house anyway.... 

January 14th
More cold shit. I guess I should be used to this kind of weather coming from North-Western Ontario, but the truth is, I've never liked the cold. I can take extreme heat like no one else, but cold shuts me right down. The good news with this much time forced to spend indoors with nothing else to do but write, is that I'm getting some writing done. o.O Eventually I would like to get out and explore a bit; if I'm supposed to live here for a while I should get to know the neighbourhood, right? I should go for a walk downtown one of these days, being as that I'm so close now to London's core section. (skyrises, etc)

My book "Once Bitten" is coming along. It's interesting to me to see how the various characters are changing as the story progresses. The fact that I'm making history in the way vampires act, procreate, etc is kinda fun too. I like my werewolf....Big, lovably, loyal, guy that is boisterous and playful. The fact that he can turn into a 350 KG  demonspawn is a bit of a downside, but we all have our faults, right?

Well, back to work.

January 15th

I'm exhausted! If I were to say that I didn't sleep very well last night, that would be an understatement! Nightmares haunted me all night, and every single one of them was about my exes. There was a total of 5 dreams, involving 3 different women. At 2 am I woke up to a particularly vivid and horrific image, and found I couldn't get back to sleep until an hour later. UGH!

So what does this tell me? Well, between the heartache and loss, there is obviously still strong emotional bonds with these women. If I still feel this way, then why am I not in a relationship with them anymore? When I think back to all the bad stuff done to me, including mind games and even cheating on me, I somehow still managed to end up forgiving each and everyone of them. (I also came to realize that I never truly loved my wife) Upon examination, however, there is a causality; in order for these women to have done what they did, there must not have been love; not real love. For example, when I need help and I'm told no, it's an indication of a lack of love. When I base my entire life on being with one woman, making plans and blending families, and somehow end up being tossed away like an empty pop can, it's indicative of disassociation. You cannot tell someone you love them, and then suddenly stop caring; that's not what love does.

Love is loyalty, dedication, and perseverance. Love doesn't know how to give up, and in the face of adversity, it struggles to do everything it can to survive. Real love is patient, and kind. Love knows only strength and trust. Love rejoices in only that which is good.

It's easy to love someone when they have health, wealth, and happiness, but real love doesn't stop when times of trouble and sorrow come. In fact, the true sign of love is when it's freely given, even in the face of diversity and hardship. If you can stop loving someone, you never really did love them.

This is what my dreams are; not torture, not some bitter reminder of everything I've lost, and I'm certain my mind isn't deriving some sort of sick pleasure from re-enacting heartbreak moments from my past, because my dreams are not about what was done wrong to me in the past, but what I\m doing right! If I were able to simply walk away from long-term relationships and plans of forever with no repercussions, then that would be an indication that my heart really wasn't in it. Even after all the pain and anguish, I still want my family back!

Now what? Keep living in the past? It's not like I have a choice when it comes to dreams, but during the waking hours a man can choose what he thinks about, right?. Unfortunately, after a night like that, it's hard not to feel a bit jaded and let down. After all, I've come so far, to try and move forward and yet my subconscious mind keeps looking back. Maybe my past isn't finished with me after all.

2 pm
Well, thank God for Diane. She picked me up, took me shopping, and out for lunch. Tonight I am asked to make supper for the family – Shake and Bake Chicken and mashed potatoes. .... Which means, I have to cook a single BBQ one for Greg. Apparently the kidlets asked for that or homemade pizza. (mom picked chicken) I needed the pick-me-up of socializing, because my new roommates are not really that friendly. I've spoken more words this morning, than I have all week.

Anyway, should jet. Laundry is almost finished, and I've other things to do.

January 17
Diane gave me ear plugs. It helps to sleep in this noise infested clusterfuck. The downside? I have to use earplugs to sleep.

Each day is simply more of the same; try to survive, and loneliness. I try to keep in contact with family and loved ones, but everyone is always so busy with their own lives. Yesterday, two of my friends ended up in the hospital; one for a heart condition, and the other for attempted suicide. It makes my soul hurt to hear of such a thing! Life is so short, and here they are trying to end it all. Now, I will admit I too have thought about sch things; my father tried to kill himself with a bottle of pills a decade ago, and ever since then I too have had moments of extreme depression where that kind of thinking actually seemed preferable to living with daily pain and heartbreak. When you have nothing left, death almost seems to be a welcome reprieve. So, I get it; but it doesn't make it any easier.

Speaking of monsters, my ex is chasing after me again. Yup! Ol' Leona  and her blood-sucking lawyer are after me yet again. I have nothing left, and yet this miserable blob of hate wants more. There is a special place in hell for people like her! I can't fathom her greediness, as my mind doesn't work that way.

Please forgive my negativity. I'm sick of having nothing left and suffering from daily pain. Some days are better than others, and it helps when I have medication to stop the the hurt; even if only for a little while. If you haven't guessed, I'm out for the rest of the month. [sigh]

Still, I have my mind, and my resolve.

I went for a walk yesterday afternoon. Turns out I'm practically on a straight shot to downtown London, via Queen's Street. I noticed I'm also on the paved walking trails! Can't wait for the snow to melt, and get back on my rollerblades!

I'm now on chapter eight of "Once Bitten". Better get to work.  Hope everyone has a great weekend....

January 18th
Memo to me: Don't read horror stories before bed. Seriously! With my vivid imagination, who needs to add fuel to the fire right? Frik, I had Black Eyed Kids, and demons, wraiths, and ghosts attacking me all night. Fortunately, I was able to lucid dream, and threw a few lightning bolts and fireballs. Good times!

Well, good morning. It's Sunday, and the forecast is calling for above freezing temperatures in good ol' Southern Ontario. I might end up going for a walk later.

Got more painting done. I can't wait to finish this one, so I can not only buy more meds, but I have a really awesome idea for the next one I paint; an angel looking down at the world.

I've decided that I should try my hand at writing a short horror story. See what I can come up with.

Anyway, hope everyone has a great day!

1 pm
DON'T READ THIS! That is, unless you like being scared......

January 19th
Last night I finally got a round to setting up my surround sound in my studio. Now I can hear my music and audio books without having to crank the computer speakers or wear headphones all the time.

I finished the first two paintings in my new studio. Woot! Go me. Now I'm set up for the next two.

I've been debating a bunch lately, and having a blast throwing people around with the use of the written word! I enjoy a good debate as much as some people like video games. How odd, eh?

Well, back to writing a bit and such. I spent the morning cleaning up my studio and such. Time to knuckle down and work. Talk soon.....

January 21st
I finished two more paintings. This time I went with angels looking across space at our little planet. I call it Guardian Angel. I'm on chapter nine of Once Bitten. Everything just keeps rolling along.

January 22nd
Well, I'm heading downtown in a little bit to go see a lawyer. Not sure what's going to happen, but at least I'm taking charge of my life, or at least, trying to.

I finished another set of paintings yesterday. This time I did four identical paintings of Earth flying through space. I'm thinking of not cutting them up, but rather leaving them whole (as a sheet of four) and selling them as is. It would make a neat theme for an office building or something.

So, I have yet another canvas stretched and covered with a base coat. This is my newest trick, where I paint a solid layer and THEN tape off the paintings. It seems to look a little more professional.

Hopefully some of these sell soon! Gotta run. Talk soon.

9 pm
My appointment was cancelled. I ended up merely coming home, but on the way found a liquor store that gave me some great bags for paper mache. Turns out the trip wasn't wasted at all.

January 24th
I know I skipped a day; when you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all, or at least, that's what my mom told me. The Legal Aid certificate I received was not to obtain a lawyer, but rather, granted me a 6 hour access to get advice from one. [sigh] WRONG CERTIFICATE......

...which means I now have to get back on the phone and get this figured out. I'll leave that for Monday.

More paintings. This time I did a compilation of Earth speeding past the Moon, with little aliens watching. It turned out pretty good.

More writing...more paper mache...I'm keeping busy trying to make money somehow. Do what you gotta, right?

DRAMA last night!! I was awoke to the one roommate cooking at 1 am. I thought it fairly rude as she clanked and clunked around at a time when everyone else was sleeping. I assumed it was just a quick snack of something, so I feigned going to the bathroom to have a peek. NOPE! This chick was in full-blown cooking mode!! Making some sort of foul smelling concoction in the oven, complete with shrimp and the whole nine yards! THEN her (bad word) phone rang, and the idiot sat beside my door, talking in a daytime voice.......

......WELL, I slowly got up, and went and made coffee. No use fighting sleep when I'm not gong to get any. So wordlessly, I did my thing...THEN the whole house woke up. Suddenly, a huge argument breaks out at 1:30 in the morning. I'm quietly sipping my coffee in my room, while the rest of the house decided to take vigilante justice on the destroyer of sleep. Yay....

January 27th
I realize I keep skipping days on my journal. It's not like I'm standing still, but with all the writing I'm doing as well as the sculpting and painting, each day sinply blurs into the next. I'm now painting the green dragon heads, and those should be done by the end of the day. I also wrote a short story about an old Canadian World War Two pilot called, "One Last Ride". Check it out.

Well, should run. I can already hear the Trueborn vampiress, Natasha calling to me, telling me to continue writing her tale...... these characters have become larger than life, at least to me.

January 28th
I finished the two dragon heads!! Woot!! :) [does a little dance]

 Paper mache green dragons
-corn starch & water
-Recycled brown bags
-yogurt container
-recycled foam
-paint, laquer, etc.

 Easiest way to age these greens; while the canine teeth of all dragons stay pointed like fangs, the back teeth of older dragons are more like molars.The teeth become flattened as the dragon ages, mostly from wear. The fact that these two handsome gentlemen are starting to grow their horns, means they are beyond the infancy stage, and most likely just set off from the safety of the parent's cave, where they hatched. I would age these two at approximately 120 years. Not nearly as big as a fully grown grown dragon, but either of these crafty youngsters would have spelled disaster for anyone unfortunate to discover one.

January 29th
Today I'm heading out to Diane's house to spend my Thursday. A bit of shopping, and help around the house, and then I think I'm making homemade pizza for supper.

No painting today. I need to get more supplies anyway...Thank GOD the end of the month is here.....not enough money for the whole month, kinda thing.

I finished two more paintings. Earth aflame while aliens watch.......

January 31st
I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Well, I'm all stoked up for the month on paint, canvass and tape. Should keep me busy for at least a while.

I'm going for a walk later this afternoon to go see one of my buddies., Should be fun!

5 pm
Had a blast this afternoon.! I have to relish in the fact I no longer need a GPS to get around London anymore My buddy Buddha is only 3.2 KM away.....Through downtown London...Kinda cool actually....

February 1st
Woke up to a dreary, snowing Sunday. I sat here and got to thinking about all the things I don't write about. The point of having a diary is to write down all the things you are experiencing and thinking about, but most people don't write a diary with the intent of having it read by others. To purposely write a journal for others to read, (such as what I'm doing) is much different than a secretive, tale of dark thoughts found commonly in diaries. [Shrugs] Naturally, subconsciously, I would endevour to portray things in a positive and appealing  manner.

Let's be honest, my imagination is vivid.When I envision great battles, and heroic tales, I am able to see both sides of the conflict. My "bad guys" make others look tame. I don't write about such twisted concepts, and try to ride that fine line of being entertaining and risque, without penning some tale that would be open to negative interpretation; my bad guys could destroy worlds. So, instead I write about the good guys, and talk about the good times in my life.

No one wants to hear a whiner. Life sucks; the end. I do try to refrain from discussing my problems, although I do slip up occasionally. I've gone back and reread some of my diary entries and sometimes wished I could erase what was written. I mean, I could if I wanted to, with a simple shift-arrow-delete, but I don't. In a way it's a good thing. It shows the lonely days, and the times when it just hurt so damn bad I wanted it to end. I wrote about the events of last year in Fort Frances where I realized that I had to make a change, but I don't talk about it anymore. It's not because that things are so great that I no longer think about that, it's because I think about that day all the time, and how it changed my life. So, I leave it, focus on the Heroes, and write about the times when things are good.

I hope everyone has a good Sunday.

February 2nd
Huge storm system is ravaging Southern Ontario. It's dropped about a foot of snow, which is easily enough to paralyze the transportation system; everyone is having a snow day. Happy Monday!!

So here it is. No, not Groundhog Day. (OK, it's Groundhog Day, but that's not what I was referring to) Today should have been a great day! Today was the day that Brandis and the kids were supposed to move to London.....

......but since she just decided to change her mind, it's just another day. I hope you don't mind that I leave this entry as is. Not much else to say......

February 3rd
"I went through my website and took down some articles"


When I originally stated posting, I was naive and thought Canada actually had full freedom of speech laws. Turns out we really aren't as free as an ambitious younger me would like to think. I've been doing a great deal of going over some of the things I've written in the past, and I've found examples where something I've written could have easily been construed as risky business. For example...

.....one article compared humans to viruses. The last sentence completed a very thorough comparison, of how only a virus will destroy its host, and what we're doing to our planet. I'm certain you can understand the implications during an article that talks about the negative aspects of viruses, and how to destroy them. I removed this article first.

NEXT, came the article opening condemning Harper in what appeared to be a (and I don't like to use the term with myself) "Hate filled rant". No links to explain why I was upset, just pure condemnation so that everyone on the planet could "see how mad I was with Darth Harper". I'm paraphrasing there, but you get the point. Deleted that one too.

Where to stop, now that I had a good look at some of the things I've written? Any of my new stuff always has "this is a work of fiction" written somewhere in the disclaimer for my fantasy stories, but I'm questioning other real-life articles I've written. One in particular, about Israel and calling out the nations of the world for being cowards and doing nothing.

At what point in trying to explain the world the around us, does the government and it's watchdogs might suddenly target the author for "inciting terrorism"? Hell, one of the article I wrote about "Domestic Terrorism" described way that North America could be threatened. You can bet you ASS I deleted that article too, just as quickly as I clapped my eyes on it!

Where does it stop? I'm actually glad I'm not debating like I used to. I'm certain that with today's new laws, I would most certainly get myself in trouble somehow, because I'm not afraid to tell the world what I know to be true. And the world doesn't want to hear the truth..... They never do.

February 5th
One of my roommates down the hall woke me by talking loudly on the phone at 4 am. The final image in my mind as I rolled over in bed, was the beautiful face of a woman, with her eyes closed, leaning in for a kiss. Concentrating hard, I forced the image back into my mind, and did my best to finish the kiss. Then I sighed, rolled back over and stuffed the pillow over my head in frustration; once awake, I cannot get back to sleep easily.

Today is Thursday; a day usually spent with Diane and her family. I'm pretty sure I've got some sort of winter blues, as I just want to curl back up in bed, and forget the day. I won't though, knowing full well a bit of sunshine, and a change of scenery will do me wonders.

Do I ever need a good kiss!! [sigh]

6 am
Ever notice how many noises a house makes during the night? There have been many times were I lay awake in my bed, and listened to the creak and groan of the unknown in the dark. The tapping on windows are particularly interesting, considering the window is 2 meters in the air. Somehow, something is tapping at my window. What do you do? Open the curtain and look out? Turn out the lights and pretend you're not home? What if it's just the wind? What if it's not?

Turns out it's nothing.

February 8th
While the scientists and doctors are excited about the development of superior humans, they are not open to optimism. Nietzscheans don't believe in optimism. It inhibits survival.

I'm exhausted. Woke up early this morning after a night of tossing and turning in bed. Must be Springtime, because all I dreamt about last night was loving.... 5 different women, none of whom I know in real life, kissed and seduced their way to my heart. I woke up hungry, and horny.

So why haven't I started taking dating seriously? I've been waiting. It's more than a broken heart; again. It's more than isolationism. More than just "too broke" to date. There are legitimate reasons as to why I haven't been pushing the issue of someone to "have and hold".
A) It's Winter. Who likes cold, anyway?!
2) I AM broke. Lord knows I'm trying to fix that, but I don't see it changing anytime soon.
D) I don't give me heart away easily, because I know how deeply I love.

Let's not add in my physical health. I can still run circles around most people, but I have days where I can barely move from pain. This, I believe, is the biggest reason I haven't started searching for love; who wants a broken toy? Too often I find myself making excuses because of this factor alone. It's true that many people do unconditionally love others who have problems in life. "In sickness and in health", is not just something we say (or at least, it's supposed to have meaning) and many couples remain together after such an illness occurs, but many won't willingly enter into a relationship with someone with problems.

Let me be clear; I have the libido of three men, and the drive of an 18 year old. When you couple that with my experience, it makes for an immense opportunity for any woman...... Loyal-to-a-fault man who will romance your socks off. Step on up.....
.........Everyone wants to experience happiness and love, however, what if I told you that in order for that to happen, you must first love yourself? That's what I'm doing....... Before I choose to involve myself in a relationship I figured it would be better to ensure I DO love myself, and take care of a few issues first. Sucks waiting though...

February 11th

Just because there is a gap in my diary entries, doesn't mean I'm standing still. In the past few days I have finished 8 pieces of artwork, including the "Rainbow Monster", and the paper Mache "Red Dragon". Without intending to, I stumbled across the idea of painting "sets" of pictures, rather than one at a time. It's not so much a time saver, as I still have to paint each one, but it allows me to experiment, as well as create elaborate scenes that cannot be held within the context of just one frame.
Also makes for great collecting opportunities. Let's say, one painting of the set is sold, it suddenly becomes worth more to anyone attempting to complete the set. The nuance I'm enjoying, is that only I get to see the final project, and while I may document the piece as a whole, a collector can only have the entire painting by purchasing them all.

I'm studying different techniques on the internet, and applying them to my work,. The waterfall scene is one of those cases where I'm teaching myself how to use the dry-brush technique.

I went for a walk yesterday. Morning temperatures were a balmy -5, and the sun was shining. I had to stretch my legs, so I headed to the water fountain along the Thames River. Called the "Fork of the Thames", near downtown London.  I had to take a few photographs of the spraying water over the river, in what would still be deemed a winter month. Seems odd to a guy who is used to seeing the water fountains shut down in September when the water starts to freeze, but in London, the river is open almost year round due to warmer climate, and the current. City landmarks such as the Fork only get shut down on very cold days, as is common for the "Forest City".

Truth is, I really like where I'm living, and can't wait for some warmer and drier Spring weather so I can further explore my new home.

For now, it's more crafting and writing. I remember being under the impression I wouldn't have much to write about once I was settled down, but look at me go. Yay me!

Talk soon. 

February 13th

Would you look at that! It's Friday the 13th!! Now, many people don't like Friday the 13th as they feel it is in someway unlucky, or bad karma. There are going to be some people that have  a bad day today, true, but I believe it is because of one's own personal belief that creates such a thing. If you walk out of the door thinking to yourself that you are going to have a bad day, then you will. If you walk out of the house thinking "Today is going to be a great one. It's Friday, and the weekend is here! We're almost halfway through the month, and one day closer and I'm alive and healthy....", then chances are, you will have a wonderful day.

I tend to have a great day on such an "unlucky" number. Years ago, my mind rationalized that if the majority of people have bad luck on such a date, then because in the twisted world in which I live, the gods must have decreed that any Friday the 13th is a GOOD thing for me. You know...because anything that works for others, doesn't....... [sigh] Takes all the fun out of it when I have to explain it...

 My new neighbour is a really great guy, and even plays Warcraft. At least I have someone to talk to now, and can even relate in some ways; I also get to see the new expansion for Warcraft. I'll admit it, I miss playing video games, but I guess some sacrifices have to be made, right?

Anyway. I had a great day yesterday. Went out with Diane to do the weekly grocery shopping, and make supper for the family. I ended up making "Certificates of Authentication" for my artwork. - I'm very impressed with the way that aspect of my life is turning out; I've crafted and sold things before, but never did so with much finesse, whereas now, I'm taking measures  that ensure the owner of the artwork has a signed, and dated copy from me providing proof of ownership and authentication that I was the artist. Kicks up the level of class, in my humble opinion.

We baked Valentine cupcakes!!! Look at me actually getting involved in a holiday that has been a sore issue for the last two years.
I hear there's talk of a possible Valentine exchange for me this year........ o.O

February 14th
This is the third year that I haven't spent V Day with someone special. I know it's not just me that seems to regard this holiday with some frustration or disappointment, as I watch social media all fired up with memes and statuses reflecting some of the bitterness that comes with an event based on love; many are NOT in love, or find themselves single on the day that celebrates couples. "What is for some a chance to celebrate true love is, for others, a difficult time that can bring on feelings of loneliness and depression". For almost everyone, it comes with thoughts of the past, and how we used to celebrate. We miss that innocence that love brings, because we also know it will never come again. We were hurt, lost love, and we moved on. The scars healed over, but we can never be the same. That innocence that made us giddy with joy, will never be healed. We tell ourselves that the ache we feel in our heart will be the same way and never go away.......

.......and then as if by magic, one day, someone new walks into your life, and that ache starts to go away because it is being replaced by hope. Cautious, ever so carefully, and trying to be open to new ideas, we discover that it is indeed possible to love again. It's admittedly scary to learn to trust someone new and watch yourself fall in love, but the human spirit needs love to survive.

Relationships require work. It's a major reason why many individuals choose to stay single. Dating, and relationships are time consuming, and most new relationships are complicated. It's no wonder that so many people all over the planet are choosing to remain single, despite the lonely nights and one-sided conversations.

Is it worth it? Yes. I believe it's worth being in love. It will make you vulnerable, and complicate the (bad word) out of your world, but life is too short to be lonely. There is someone for everyone they say, so never give up! Just think, the next person you kiss, may be the one.

Happy Valentine's Day to all the couples out there.

February 15th
Today is the 50th anniversary of the Canadian flag. It's disturbing to me to see how little effort is being directed at celebrating this event; a mere $50K to create a dismal display at the Ottawa museum to commemorate the birth of our Nation's flag.  Meanwhile, Harper cronies just spent 7 MILLION for television commercials to try and tell us marijuana is bad. UGH! Who the hell is he trying to fool?! So sick of our government!!

So, it's the day after Valentine's Day, and I feel somewhat bitter. It's as if no one wants me, and it's growing increasingly harder to convince myself that I may fall in love someday.

It's freaking cold today!  I had hoped to at least get out and walk off some of my frustration, but it would appear that I'm not going anywhere soon, with temperatures that feel like -30!!

February 17th
I'm of the firm belief that between Christmas, the cold of endless January, and Valentine's Day, is a triple punch for depression!!  Fuel the fun with the fact that my family is once again causing me grief; I had to even go so far as to block my father on social media for his foolish, hurtful behaviour.

I'm still waking up each day, and going through the paces. It's cold. Damn cold across most of Canada! Not much to do, but stay in.

I haven't had any real meat to eat in two weeks now, and I'm seriously craving something real.

Write, read, sleep....

8 pm
I'm stuck on chapter 10. Having a hard time writing about some really evil characters, and it's not really a topic I want to research to any great detail. So I am forced to ride the fine line of writing what I know while trying to be entertaining, and making stuff up about a topic I know nothing about; dog fighting.

Why write about such a concept? I needed to develop a credible storyline that creates a really despicable illegal organization, but it creates a problem for me. Writing about such things isn't coming easily........

February 20th
Once again, a big thank you to Diane. Thursday's with my BFF have become more than a chance to do laundry or go shopping. It's a chance to  make a mess in the kitchen, play hide-and-seek / star wars with the kidlets, use a computer printer, and even get some life coaching. I didn't get a chance to see Greg this week, but I always look forward to the good times when we do get a chance to talk and hang out.

So, yea. I actually ventured forth into the frozen tundra of the "Great White North". I saw a weather forecast yesterday from a friend back in Fort Frances, Ontario, and it spoke of -43 degrees!! The Great Lakes are so damn cold right now, that Niagara Falls froze over! I'm not making this up! We're stuck in another polar vortex that has climate-change-naysayers crying out a proverbial "SEE?! Can't be GLOBAL WARMING if it's cold, eh?!" [heavy sigh]  It's freakishly cold, and the snow is piling up in freakish storms all over North America. Some people are even digging tunnels to find their cars. Some have lost a house, with banks so high that people are jumping off the roof for fun. Once again, I'm not making this up, because it's to the point where the Boston mayor had to even go on record to declare a warning "Not to engage in roof jumping", because it was a medical concern. Meanwhile, the medics and emergency response teams can't get out to help people in the first place. It's polar bear city, and everyone including me, have been hibernating.

Finished that big fight scene in chapter ten. I realized there was no need to be too graphic about the parts of humanity that disturb me, such as "dog fighting". I made an acknowledgment of the facility, and then focused on the storyline, and the subsequent rescue of the surviving dogs. One of the reasons that I picked that topic as a plausible underground organization, is because I wanted to anger the reader; trust me, it pisses me off to think that humans commit such cruelty to animals. In my book I am highlighting the atrocities of mankind, and in a fantasy-revenge I describe how these kinds of people meet headlong with karma. Turns out I didn't need to describe the fight in too great of detail, since the story is written in First-person perspective, and halfway through the fight the main character is knocked unconscious from flying through a steel and cement wall.
They say you can't kill a vampire, or at least, it takes quite a bit of damage to do so. Turns out, that statement is completely wrong; you can kill them, but only one way and that's prolonged exposure to direct sunlight. That doesn't mean you can't injure a vampire, for we bleed just like normal humans do. If you slice us with a sword, or shoot us with an arrow, there are ways for us to heal, but it's probably going to hurt for a bit. If a vampire flies at great speed headfirst into a steel framed wall? Well, that really hurts.

Not exactly certain how long I was knocked unconscious, but I'm guessing a good couple minutes. I groaned, barely able to move from the broken ribs. I looked around, but my face was so caked in sticky dried blood, I cold barely open my eyes. When I attempted to wipe my face, I realized I broken my sword arm. And my shoulder. And my collar bone was sticking out of my neck. To say I was in bad shape is an understatement!

Out of nowhere Natasha appeared over me. “My sweet love!”, she groaned when she saw me. “My poor baby”, she said, this time with a hint of a giggle, “When I saw you fly through that wall I thought it was funny at first, but then you didn't move......”

I tried to laugh, but it only made me cough as I joked, “Well it's a good thing I was wearing the body armor”.

She tried not to smile, but I could see the corners of her mouth twitching as she teased, “But you smashed through the wall head first, dear. The body armor didn't do squat”.
I'm on Chapter Eleven. Go me.

P.S. It must be Spring, or getting close to it. I've had a few nibbles in the last couple days. Things might be looking up.

P.P.S. If you've noticed a lack of art pix, it's because I've reached that point in the month where I've run out of paint. And corn starch. And canvass. The good news? Still have lotzza bags!! OH!! I was approached to paint on "cranberry glass" in a collaborative display piece with a dear friend of mine; so honoured. :) But other than that, it basically means I've been focusing on writing.......

February 23rd
The end of the month can come anytime now.

Diane gave me a box of corn starch, so I spent all weekend modelling two more dragons. These two are larger than I've done so far, and I know I'll have to sell then for more than I have been listing my art at. I also know that I'll be selling them for much cheaper than they should be, but that's the way art goes.

I've sold a few pieces of art, but so far it's mostly paying to buy more art supplies. While it feels like no one is paying attention to what I do , I have remind myself that almost 15k people have checked out this website, my paintings have sold for hundreds of dollars, and I'm still writing the masterpiece that will make me a household name. Still, I'm broke, lonely, and simply working everyday.

I suppose that my art will slow down once summer comes, and I start blading. Better get my ars in gear, and get this book done then.......

February 24th
Another day of going through the motions; sleep, wake up, spend a day by myself, and go back to sleep.

I have to wear earplugs because my roommates don't seem to have a clue what words like "quiet", or "consideration for others" means. I get that some people have to be up at different hours than others (there is 10 people in this three level house) but slamming doors and stomping around loudly isn't welcome at any time of the day. Regardless, I managed to somewhat sleep in this morning.....

........dreams! I saw my grandpa, my ex, the old cabin, the paintball park, and my mom. I went fishing, partied with my friends, made love, burned down a paintball fort (that doesn't exist anymore) and saved the small town of Devlin from a killer-ghost.

In retrospect, my boredom and overactive imagination could be due to the idleness of a long winter. I tried to speak to my BFF about it, and she jokingly said I should find a hobby or a girlfriend......

........a hobby would be cheaper.

February 25th
I received a odd phone call this afternoon, and it put me in the best mood. It's nothing grandiose or anything, but someone very dear to me felt the need to call. I have to say my day has improved greatly by hearing her voice. Speaking of days.....

....just about that time of the month. Payday. Yay! Tomorrow I go shopping with Diane, and depending on if things go my way, I might even have a reward for a long, cold month of grinding away at my goals. Let's hope. I know by the weekend I'll be able to grab some art supplies, and get cracking on a  few other projects.

 Spring is coming they say, and I know I'm not the only one eagerly awaiting the melting of all this white shit! Bring on heat, and the smell of grass!!

Happy Hump Day!

February 27th
Paid my bills, and I went for a walk to get coffee at Cherryhill Mall. I came home with a bottle of wine, and forgot the coffee. Guess it's going to be one of those days.

I found a new medium for paper mache. Down here in Southern Ontario you are not allowed to burn leaf litter in your residential unit. Instead, they make people buy these great big paper bags to stuff leaves, and other types of organic material. They do haul it away free of charge, but you still have to buy the bags. Diane brought me a couple a week ago, and at the same time I managed to convince an LCBO worker I needed a few paper bags as well. Being human, I stuck to the norm and ignored the two leaf litter bags. Last night, curiosity got the better of me, and I tore the bags apart and used them on three projects currently in the works. They. Are. Awesome. It turns out there is a bit of a plastic or something in the material, and because of that, I can soak large pieces of hand torn brown paper for 20 - 30 minutes and still find it pliable and easy to work with! You could NEVER do that with newsprint, or even basic paper bags! It also comes in double ply! SO! Instead of having to go to LCBO outlets and beg for bags to use for paper mache, I can use these kinds of bags in grocery stores all over Southern Ontario. How mother (bad word) cool is that?!?!

Speaking of which, I can honestly state that I have surpassed anything I have ever done before back in Fort Frances when it comes to art! Not only is it evident with the elaborate pieces I'm getting int he dragon sculptures, but in the paintings that belong in sets, to the fact I'm now issuing "Certificates of Authenticity" with each piece of work!! Every time I finish a piece of art, I now make certain to print and sign a piece of paper that states the authenticity of the piece, regardless of canvas or 3D paintings. I'm pretty excited about this kind of professionalism. Go me!

Still a waiting game with the actor / model thing. [sigh] I was told it's hard to get started..... Was also told I would find lots of work.....

.....Big weekend! Payday and the start of a new month. Hopefully old man Winter get the message and takes all that white, cold shit with him. Bring on heat!! At this point in time, I'm about ready to start burning styrofoam to warm up the planet a bit,

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

March 2nd

Good morning, Monday! Back to the grind I see. I can honestly state that I took half of Sunday off to relax, but the rest of the time was spent painting and building. I stumbled onto a concept by accident, where I build shells from paper mache and balloons, and then later cut them to become whatever I want!

Now, I'm going to give a shout out to my good buddy and mentor, Eric Keast from the Broken Vulture Studio. You have pushed me to develop my creative side. and while our art lessons were probably more akin to a drinking game than school, I learned quite a bit form your guidance. When I look back now at some of the work you and I have done, I wish that I had the time to show you what I can do now!! A piece that would have taken me a month to build out of modeling clay, paper mache. and paint, can now be done in half that time by using balloons instead of clay. We were working with small art pieces, where with my new style can offer much bigger 3D art.I also realized quickly, that I never bought paint before, because you always did, and due to that fact had no idea how much paint I can go through. Thank you for your patience in some of my naivety and quirkiness. I miss you!

So, I managed to finish the black dragon wall mount, and I'm thrilled! I still need to find some way to perfect painting eyes on these paper mache peices I'm doing, but the project is definitely proving to be worth the time. Using corn starch mixed with water, I can bend brown paper into any shape I want. Not only is the final product extremely strong, it even provides for a nice smooth finish to paint on; giving the art piece a ceramic look to "light as a feather" wall mounts. I'm working on the blue, and he is turning out to be a massive, handsome fella!! I've simplified the mouth a bit on him, and focused on the head from the perspective of a skull.....

.....which brings me to my latest project. "Why do you always build dragons, and weapons, and weird stuff?! Why not make horses, and unicorns, and fun stuff?!?" .... I'm crafting a horse head for the Lawrence kidlet. It's her birthday soon, and I thought she might like something like that. It's also a project for me... I avoid such normal things.... Anyone can go and take a picture of a horse for example, but to take a picture of a dragon? Or take a picture of some powerful denizen ready to spring from ....well, you get the point. Why make something that you can readily find available? ANYWAY.... I'm putting my new technique to work on this horse project, and so far I'm excited with the results.

Better get to writing for a bit......

March 6th
I went to bed and forgot about the window in my room was left open a bit. Woke up this morning, shivering and hiding under my covers. Oops! Can't wait for Spring so I can actually leave the wondow open a bit for some fresh air.

My writing has slowed down for a bit as I focused a bit more on my art. I recently finished the Blue Dragon's head, and it's now available for sale. I'm still working on the horse-head plaque, but I guess it's no longer earmarked for the Lawrence family. Oh well..... I also started another dragon head, and this one is going to be a white one. Maybe if I build a dragon that actually likes ice and cold, I might find some commonality with the oppressive weather..

...hope everyone has a great weekend.

March 7th
My roommate woke me at 7:30 am, by clanking around in the kitchen. She has done this now three other times, where it doesn't matter what time it is, she talks and acts like no one can hear her. Ugh!

I did my absolute best to be as cheerful as I could; which basically means I kept my mouth shut, and just made coffee in silence. To avoid making her feel the seething anger I might anadvertantly shoot her way in the form of a dirty look, I compromised, and didn't make eye contact. It was for the best, and I hope she understands that I was trying to be polite.

 Well, the white dragon is coming along quite nicely. I can definitly see a difference in the techniques I'm using. The horse head, however, is taking a bit of time; mostly because I want to do it right. Last night I was working on trying to get its eyes right, and I'm still not quite happy with them. This marks the second attempt at the eyes, having completely cut out the first attempt with scissors after I didn't like it. That's what I do when I don't lkike something I made; just cut it out. Perhaps that's why I like paper mache as opposed to wood, or metal.

Well, I guess I should get to work. I had a nice skype call this morning, and I've gotten nothing done. Chat soon

March 9th
Check out this ugly effer. I made him, but I don't know what to even call him. He's kind of like an imp or a fat gremlin. Not sure.

I was ripped from my sleep at 6 am by a vivid dream. One of those that leave you feeling lost and sad because the people in it are no longer in your life. Yea, it was like that. I laid in bed for a few minutes, and decided to get up.

I'm on Chapter 13!! Even this morning I was rolling along with the storyline. I'm at another hard part in the book; I have to kill two of the major characters. Not going to say who, but you'll really need to read this once done..because it's turning out quite well. Speaking of which.....

March 11th
Thought I better do a diary entry one of these days. I've been busy. Yesterday, I put over 12 hours into "Once Bitten". I'm on Chapter 15, and page 8!! Not only that, but in the evening I've been painting on all the various projects kicking around the studio. It's still winterish, but the sun was shining a bit today. Soon it'll melt and I can use my rollerblades. Anyway, talk soon ......

March 13th
Well holy-poop-on-a-stick! A second Friday the Thirteenth this year! I didn't even notice this one coming up either. Normally I'm on that like a pack of dogs on a three legged cat! I'd say I dropped the ball, but it's ok...I understand.. I know what's got me distracted....

.....CHAPTER 17!!! "Royal Execution". I could have called "The Proverbial Poop Hits the Spinning Fan", but I'm sure you get the idea. Needless to say, I've been busy!

Diane dropped off another box of cornstarch, so I should do some paper mache later tonight. Found a really great audiobook (goto youtube, and search for your favourite!) and I'm looking forward to finishing it. I recently listened to "World War Z" on audiobook, and I have to say it was TEN TIMES better than the movie!! I highly recommend you read the book, or at least check out the audiobook. It isn't like the movie at all.

Not sure why I feel so broke this month! Not even halfway through and my budget is spent! Sure hope some of my art starts to sell soon. I could sure go for a beer right about now! Being that it's Friday. The 13th. And I like beer. [sigh] Do I really need a reason to want beer? Beer's good for you I'm told. Even doctors claim that if you drink a beer a day it's good for you! Usually when I have beer, I make sure to have at least 5 or 6 to ensure I'm good and healthy. Right? Now I really want beer. Mmmmmm. Beer. If you're reading this, please send beer.

Well, off to write sans beer. [sigh] Why did I have to go and mention beer. Tackle the big fight scenes for a few hours, and then do some art sans beer. There, I did it again! I keep mentioning beer. Dammet. Beer soon, I mean, talk soon. Beer.

March 15th
Hello Sunday. Not only are you marking the middle of the month, but the start of the week as well. 

I can honestly state that no one must have read my previous entry, because I didn't have anyone stop in brandishing beer. In fact, no one stopped in at all.  I'm not loved.

I've started another book. Being as that my workload is already piling up, I simply wrote the forward, and will finish the book once I'm done "Once Bitten", and "The Answer". Guess I better get cracking.

March 19th
I finally went to the Lawrence's house for a visit; it's been almost two weeks since the last time. Spent a great day with Diane, and the kidlets since it's March break! We had a dance fest, learned about the X2 solar flare that occurred on Sunday, and cooked a great supper! I didn't even have to help the oldest child to make dessert, as she managed quite nicely without my help. This shows that the lessons I've been imparting to them while I lived there, and when we spend time in the kitchen, actually were being absorbed by the eager young minds. I personally believe that all children should help in the preparing of meals, to not only give them a sense of pride to help out the family, but learning such life skills is important, and it will be what they take with them when they do strike out on their own.

I'm on Chapter nineteen. Oops. Here I thought this was only going to be eighteen chapters long, but it turns out the story is much bigger than I had previously anticipated.  One of the main characters was supposed to bite it in seventeen, but they are still very much alive.. [shrugs] I guess that's good, right? Speaking of which, I better go write.

March 20th
Today is the first day of Spring! For many, this not only marks the passing of a season, but a sign a hope; change bringing warmth and life, after a season of cold and decay.

For many North Americans this has been a hard Winter! The biting cold, and blowing snow has broken all sorts of previous meteorological records, but our society's spirit has taken quite a hit as well, with the sudden rearing of racism's ugly head in modern USA, as well as, the frustrations the Canadians are facing with a government that refuses to listen to its own people. It's been absolutely hellish for a great many, and the rest of the nation can only sit back watch in frustration as the snow drifts bury people's cars, and massive tractor-trailer pile-ups on the 400 series put lives in danger.
Spring is going to change that. The warming sun will melt away the endless snow, and a boost of vibrancy is rocking our two great nations as people pull out from under the haze of government scandals; C51 is rapidly being recognized as the fear-mongering tactics that Canada's Prime Minister has been using since 2006, and more Canadians are waking up to the truth about their government! It is a sign of renewal, and change.

Things are going to get better. Trust me, they will. Whenever you are struggling and feel there is no hope, always remember, like the long bitter cold of a Winter night, it is always darkest at dawn, just before the morning sun. Spring has arrived, and soon the air will be filled with the smell of sweet grass and the perfume of flowers. The sound of laughter will once again ring out in the playgrounds, and the sound of nature will burst out in song, and rejoice, "Spring has come!"

A short prayer for everyone in the world; Our Heavenly Father, Thank You for the gift of life, and love! We ask that You please watch over your children. Bless us with the Spirit of renewal and hope as we go into this new season, and keep us safe. In Jesus Christ's Holy name, Amen.

March 21st
I'm up at 4 am! Can't sleep. The prospect of being close to done writing my book has me on the edge of my seat. I ended up writing 21 chapters instead of the proposed 18! See what happens once I get an idea in my head?

Well, off to proof read. Not much else to do at 4 am.

10 am
I read Chapter 1-4 last night, Chapter 5-9 in the wee hours of the morning, went to bed again at 6 am, and just woke up. It's official; it takes HOURS to read my newest work! I'll be chewing on more proofreading this afternoon, as I can't imagine doing anything much else. I'm at the end, and it's exciting!!

Hope everyone is having a great weekend. I'm off to work.

10 pm
Just. Finished. Proofreading "Once Bitten". It's not officially done, as I have some poetry and such to write, AND compile ALL 21 Chapters yet....but WOW! Good book, I say!  Frikken tired of reading though....298 single spaced pages..........[sigh]

March 22nd
I'm done [Does a little dance] This makes the very first FULL LENGTH novel I have written!! "Once Bitten" will be available to read by tomorrow! WOOT! Go me!

For quotes from the book, check this out!

Now that I'm done, I'm not sure what to do next. Kidding!! I have three other projects I could easily start on. Pretty sure it's back to finish the screen play "The Answer".

I need a nap.
March 22, 2015 My website hit 15K views! I cannot even begin to start thanking everyone that has helped me make this such a great success!! It's true what they say, "Work hard, and follow your dreams. If you believe in yourself, you will succeed!" Thanks to my family, friends, and fans for believing in me!

March 23rd
I went to bed and flip flopped all night, thinking about my new book. "Is there any mistakes? Should I have changed something? Can't now, because it's uploaded! People can buy it right now! I wonder if anyone is buying it?"......

...... and that's it. The magical world I have built is finished. There is no more changes to the story. It can be built upon, but the story is now "out there". Those that have read my book  know who Raphael Nightshade is. They have laughed at him, and probably cried alongside him as well. I'm sure many will ask when book two is coming out.

Today has been a day of catch up and cleaning. I pulled my studio apart, and ended up cleaning the whole house!! It was my turn to do the bathroom anyway. I went through my website and added the appropriate links to be able to buy my book. Here I'll show you. BUY THIS NOW!!

What's interesting to me, is the amount of material I've written that's available for people to read now; both on my blog, and published on Amazon. Very cool, I have to say!

Well, I should go see if I can figure out where I left off writing "The Answer". This is a screen play, which should make things go a bit quicker. I guess I'm supposed to limit myself to about 125 typewritten pages. How the (bad word) do I limit myself to that few?

Much to see, and people to do. Gotta jet!

March 24th

I'm told by Diane, that after such a monumental piece of work such as a story about vampires and werewolvers, "Blood and gore", that I need to redeem myself by writing another children's story. While my lovely friend is merely looking out for my eternal soul by hoping I'll tackle something a little more cheerful, she might be on to something. It has been a bit since I wrote anything for the younger audience. I know how a big a hit my last couple of children stories were, with one even being read to the entire class at a school in London!

So, I am lulling a few ideas around. I know I want to keep writing stuff about Canada, because in my own little way, I'm paying respect to the country I love so much! So when I write Canadianism such as "eh?" or make use of things  like "Loonie, or Twoonie", in my books and stories, it's being done on purpose. Anyway, one of the ideas I'm having is to write about the purple little alien Fuzzgrommet again, and have him visit Canada or something. Not sure if it should be in verse? Or descriptive? I was considering having him write home to his mom about the wonderful things he sees on Earth. Who knows? It's early yet.

I found my place in "The Answer".  I'm giving myself a couple of days to adjust gears. I'm thinking a good idea would be for me to go back and reread everything I've written, sort of like a refresher. I like the use of the female Prime Minister! Very classy. Couple of love stories in it. Showcases Ontario pretty decently, from the cabin scenes, to the downtown Ottawa and Toronto. Not too bad, if I do say so myself. STILL....... I haven't figured out an ending I like yet [sigh] There's the reason I stopped writing it in the first place.

Well, I'm going to get on with my day. Hope everyone has a good one.

March 26th
I've been cleaning files on the computer, and trying to tie up lose ends in the art part of my life. Finally finished that horse head. Only took me two months to finish. Why so long? Because everyone knows what a horse's head looks like, and if it doesn't look right it's going to drive me bonkers.

Started working on a few masks to hang on the wall It will be interesting to see what they turn out like. The other thing is Spring is coming, and I will be able to get out and do what I love best; rollerblading.

Heading to Diane and Greg's tomorrow to spend some time with them. It's always a good time, so I'm looking forward to that.

March 28th
I went rollerblading this morning. The roads and sidewalks were dry, but there is still quite a bit of sand, and debris on the trails, not to mention water from the still-melting glaciers left over from Winter's deadly embrace. Still, I had to feel the wheels under my feet and the wind at my back. I can't wait to go downtown and skate around Victoria park this summer, as I'm living only a Kilometer away instead of 7 like last summer.

Another weekend where one of my roommates has woke me up early. It's unfortunate to say, but I don't believe she is honestly smart enough to be considerate to others. Realizing the need to be quiet and having consideration for others takes intelligence, and far too many people simply cannot understand that concept.

Still no action with the opposite sex. I'm pretty sure that if I ever do find myself in such a situation, I'll forget how to make a move. If you discount the mistake I made last Fall, it's coming up on almost two years, since I was in a relationship. Sometimes I even wonder if it's worth it, at this point in the game, to try.

Herein lies the end of Chapter One.
Since we are heading into a new season, it's only appropriate that I start Chapter Two. 

If you would like to continue reading my diary GO HERE.


Diane! said…
Hopefully I am helping in the life coaching department. God forbid I would lead you astray........ :P

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