Obscure Arcanum - Chapter Six

"I would consider my Diary serves the same purpose as going for a walk or a run. They are all physical ways of clearing a mental landscape." - Chet Faker

A diary (also called journal) is a record (originally in handwritten format) with discrete entries arranged by date reporting on what has happened over the course of a day or other period. A personal diary may include a person's experiences, and/or thoughts or feelings, including comment on current events outside the writer's direct experience. Someone who keeps a diary is known as a diarist.



Everyone has a story to tell. Our personal history is what molds us; like a shapeless lump of steel being beaten into shape on a blacksmith's anvil, everyone is the sum of their experiences in life. I am no different, and my past is what has made me the man you see today. Our struggles, gains and losses, are not the defining factor of an individual, but rather, how we choose to deal with such struggle is what actually defines a human being. The choices we make determine our personality. My goal in telling my story is two-fold; entertainment for some, and a chance for me to reflect and grow on my experiences. When I go back and reread what I've written in my journey, you can see the moments where I was struggling, as well as, see the times I succeeded. This is my goal, by continuing to record events and my thoughts, I am endevouring to keep a written record of my choices and how things are affecting me. 


This diary was originally meant to merely be a way for me to keep in contact with my loved ones I left behind in rural Northern Ontario, but has since become  much, much more! If you are reading this journal for the first time, I would recommend you start at Chapter One, but if you truly wish to experience the whole story, I suggest you read the Turn The Pages series; after all, the best place to start reading is at the beginning.
If you've ever wanted to read someone's diary, here's your chance........... 

March 30th, 2016
Good morning world! It's Hump Day!

The calendar says that Spring has arrived, but I think they forgot to tell Mother Nature. Her bi-polar fits of sun and mixed-precipitation wear heavily on everyone. You can see it when the sun shines and everyone jumps at the opportunity to get outdoors, but when the sleet, snow, and cold drizzle take over for days, it drives people indoors faster than a bucket of mosquitoes at a picnic.

Much has happened this year, and it's only the start of Spring! I'm in a relationship with a woman named Cara. I now have a prescription to smoke marijuana for my disability. I'm writing chapter after chapter in what is turning out to be something HUGE; a niche of Amtgardians have created a fan-base on my work I do for our local park in London, Ontario. 

People from all over the world are reading what I write, and like a rock rolling downhill,things are picking up speed!

I'm still broke and doing the "Starving Artist" thing. It's hard to budget when you have no actual income, and much of my spending habits are based on what I have at the moment. This creates a situation where I'm still living day-to-day, but I have to say that things are better than they have been for a long, long time!

I still get letters via email from people all over the planet. The Russians seem to have lost interest for now, but the Philippine community is really picking up. I still get a weird feeling when I see the numbers and places on the website tracker and realize that someone on the other side of the world is reading my work. It's overcoming, but when I feel the most humbled is when I receive letters. Thank you to all that have written me, and I promise I'll do my utmost best to keep the stories coming!

I'm so busy! Between trying to write and all my extra-curricular activities, like choir and Amtgard, I barely have time to relax. Oh well.... I'll stop when I'm dead, right? Hard work pays off they say, and I'm still chasing my dreams!

I just finished a major project for Silva Urbem, the local London Amtgard chapter. If you haven't taken the time to read some of the storyline, I suggest you do! It's quite good, if I say so myself.

On the Offensive - Chapter One
Fear is so limiting to one's abilities.
Remember, the only thing you have to fear, is fear itself.
So, when life growls at you, shout back........

...."Come on then! Do your worst, for I shall do mine!"
On the Offensive - Chapter Two
On the Offensive - Chapter Three
On the Offensive - Chapter Four
On the Offensive - Epilogue

See? Told you I've been busy. I'm also writing two songs, painting guns, designing shields, swords, and armor. I'm sewing up a storm, and trying to keep up on Amtgard politics and rule changes.

Speaking of which, I should get 'atter . Much to do, and less time to do it in. Have a good one, eh?

April 1st
HAPPY APRIL FOOLS!

I wracked my brain to come up with some clever way to prank people on social media. Now, you have to understand, Dear Diary, that this is the day that karma watches you like a hawk; anything you joke about tends to come back and smite you. Joke about success? Chances are the Law of Attraction will initiate something leading to thwart your goals. Joke about relationships? Chances are your relationship will change somehow... EG: "I'm pregnant" causes people to start thinking about pregnancy and all it entails. A few months later, and BAM...You're pregnant. "I'm engaged" can send trickles of energy to family and friends, and before you know it there's pressure to make your joke come true. (Or break up, as the two start thinking about such life goals and realizing it's not for them) So it is, Dear Diary, that I decided to make certain that anything I did wasn't going to come back and bite me in the ass.....

.....got my mom and a few friends in a twist before someone posted that it WAS April 1st and I was most likely joking.

BEWARE.... 'Tis the day of pranksters.

The weather has taken a turn for the worst; cold and more rain than a tropical Rain Forest. You should see the Thames river! It's bank are swollen from the amount of (bad word) precipitation we're getting. I don't know about you, but I could really use some sun and heat right about now!!

Today will be spent cleaning up the house, and fixing boffers.

I went shopping with Diane Lawrence yesterday. It was the first time in a few months were my weekly visit and the beggining of the mnth coincided. About. Bloody. Time! You have to understand that I cannot carry much groceries when I'm walking or biking, so when I can do one BIG shopping spree and stock up on everything? Well, Holy Crap! It's so much easier!! Anyway, I picked up the necessary items to actually finish and fix all these boffers I have laying around in my room.

I really need to get a new sewing machine. One for myself. Something I can take care of, and use for my own work. The only way I am going to get better at sewing is to do more, and relying on others to use their machines is somewhat draining. (Gotta time everything right, yadda yadda) Anyway, another life goal, right? Positive thoughts... Sewing machine...sewing machine...

I'm in a good mood. I made my prescription order yesterday, and like magic it was here this morning!! So it is I sit here pain free, and able to concentrate on tasks. Hence my writing, if you haven't noticed, I'm a bit of a blabber mouth this morning. A good reader can probably tell the difference in my moods from day to day. When I go back and reread my material, I can notice the difference.

One major difference I do notice in what  I'm writing is my quality. Not just grammatically correctness and all that entails, but I mean the way I make characters come alive. The way I can describe things by not only using proper linguistics, but prose, spoonerisms, alliteration, and whatnot. I'm thrilled that I'm improving! Hopefully someday I'll be at the level of skill I desire, which is twofold; ease of writing and quality.

Speaking of which, I have an announcement to make..... (Drum roll, please?)

Twenty-Six THOUSAND page views!!
I'm so humbled! When I started writing and following my dreams, I remember getting excited over a few thousand people reading my work. Now? I'm breaking goals and setting new ones faster than I ever thought possible, and it couldn't have been done without the people who have supported me! Thank you so very much!

Well, I should go. Hope you didn't get pranked too badly today, but if you did, just smile..... it's all part of the game of life. And if you do decide to prank someone today.....

..."Keep your stick on the ice" - Red Green

April 2nd
Well, looks like Mother Nature played an April Fool's joke on us... There's (bad word) snow on the ground! Ugh!

Today marks a special day, as I am going to attend a campfire setting with friends tonight.To say I'm excited is an understatement! BBQ, a few drinky-poos, and good friends... Who could ask for more?

Just getting ready to head down to Victoria Park for another adventure in Silva Urbem. It's very unfortunate we can't get some heat for our field day, but it is what it is..... Mother Nature sucks!

April 4th
Good morning, world! Hope you had a great weekend.

There is no possible way to describe how thoroughly disgusted I am with the weather.....On Saturday afternoon it started snowing and blowing, and the cold crap hasn't stopped. In fact, the snow squall that hit Southern Ontario like a hammer started at the end of field on Saturday afternoon; one minute we were Role Playing, and the next we were seeking shelter under one of the large pine trees! I had to walk back to my apartment and was completely soaked by the time I got there.

There was plans to BBQ and camp in Jeff's (Kepi) backyard on Saturday night, but due to weather the out of town guests cancelled, and we were forced to spend the evening indoors. Diane came over for a couple minutes and got to meet my new friends and family. Was interesting to see the two cultures collide! Logic meets fantasy was the theme, and  I'm sure she rolled her eyes a couple of times at the LARPers, and myself. I know she had fun though, so that's all that mattered. Was awesome to have her hang out with Cara!

It was still a great day filled with good friends and fun times, regardless of the cancelled plans!

Didn't make it to Church because I had no way to get across town in time. Instead, I spent the whole day with Cara....

.....we did normal stuff, like shopping and going out for Burger King burgers. A bit of Netflix and chill rounded out the evening, and I fell asleep in her arms.

Once I'm finally able to leave the house (see previous entries in regards to my disability) the plan is to go back to my apartment and get a few things. Right now I'm using Cara's computer and it's taking me much more time to work than I'm used to May as well grab some clothes while I'm there, as the plan is to spend more time with Cara and her kidlet.

Speaking of kidlets, I made pancakes for breakfast and used the batter to write the first initial of the young girl's name. You should have heard her giggle when she saw her pancake! That's the kind of stuff that makes me feel good, Dear Diary, and I'm in a happy place!

So, things are great with the exception of the cold crap outside. Apparently it's supposed to be like this all week..... Same goes for the (bad word) snow.......

....have a good one, eh?

April 5th
It's still cold outside, with nighttime temperatures falling to below double digits below zero. Yuck! Where did the sun and heat go that was gracing us not even a couple weeks ago? Stupid Winter weather!

I spent the afternoon with Cara. While we didn't get much done, it was time spent bonding. I was hoping to get more material to sew, but we didn't make it to the store. (Apparently the one downtown got moved)

Woke up a bit late today, so it was a rush to get out the door (Which is something I'm not used to)  Little growing pains, right? We'll get this figured out, and I know I'll adapt to the change. It's just going to take a few days.

Today is going to be spent writing. I have an appointment with the Cannabis clinic this afternoon, so I'm not sure if I'm coming back to Cara's or going to my apartment.

Before I go, I just wanted to share something that I recently noticed on Social Media......

.......When I check my Facebook wall this morning, I nearly fell off my chair when I saw that I now have 425 followers!?! Like, What happened? While I know I'm pushing for mpre followers, it shocked me to see it actually happen!

 Better go, because I have things to do. Talk soon.

April 5th - 2 pm
Had a moment of panic this afternoon...... I left Cara's to head out to my appointment at the Cannabis clinic. I stopped in at a store to get bus fare, skipped across the road to the correct bus stop, and jumped aboard the first bus heading straight down Oxford West.

Don't know how it happened. I was on the 91 express on Oxford (London bus - LTC) and walked off without my backpack!

The moment the doors closed, I realized what I had done, and I raced after the bus trying to catch the attention of the driver, hoping he might stop.

He didn't.

My heart wrenched in my chest as I realized I had just walked away from all my ID, house keys, prescription, money, glasses, and much more! I felt lost and helpless, and my mind reeled from my mistake.

I quickly phoned the Clinic and explained the situation, and they told me to do what I could to try and get my things back. If I needed to reschedule, then so be it.

With nervous anticipation I stood on the other side of the road waiting for the correct bus to arrive. I don't believe I've ever needed to catch a specific bus so badly in my life! It felt like an eternity, but several heart stopping moments later, the correct bus pulled up to the bus stop.

The driver immediately saw me, and winked, "I was pretty sure that was yours", he exclaimed, pointing at the errant backpack sitting beside him.

You cannot imagine my relief, and a quick check after it pulled away indicated that I had lost nothing! Everything was right where I had left it....

......times like this restores my faith in humanity! Now, many could claim the driver was just doing his job, but I believe that it takes a certain class to be so responsible. To think that day in and day out, these LTC bus drivers are going out of their way to not only ensure the safety and welfare of their passengers, but will also help you in times of trouble? It makes you think, doesn't it?

Thank you so much, to the driver of the Oxford Express! I don't know your name, but I will remember the time you saved my bacon!

P.S. I managed to get to my appointment early anyway. Things worked out splendidly!

April 6th
Happy Hump Day!

This morning went exceptionally well! Woke up to cuddles, coffee, and bacon, and now I'm set up to work while Cara heads off to University. I have the house to myself, and although I'm sitting at a kitchen table instead of a desk, I should be able to get some writing done.

Speaking of writing, I just realized that I haven't listed the latest stories I've worked on.....

Victoria Garden Safe Once More
Playing With Fire

.....what do you think? The one about the demon and Death Knight is pretty dark, isn't it? Write what you know they always say, but how do I know this stuff? The answer is simple; years and years of Dungeons and Dragons. Sure, my mind is filled with plots and colourful heroes, but there's also some serious bad guys too.

I should get cracking. I've got a short story to work on, and some posters to deliver. Later tonight I'm teaching magic class for our Amtgard field. Looks like a busy day... Have a good one.

April 7th
Hello, Dear Diary. Hope your week is going well. Mine is, regardless of the fact that my world has been drastically changed!

I'm still at Cara's. Yesterday I cleaned the house a bit, and she was quite happy, although apprehensive about my high standards of cleanliness.  Things are good though, and it looks like the minor growing pains are being dealt with.

I wrote a lesson plan for MAGIC CLASS. Have a look if you like. I can wait.....

...done already? You read fast!

The weather is still crappy and cold, wet and dreary. CAN'T wait for some sun and heat! (PLEASE hurry up Spring - enough of this cold shit!) Choir practise tonight, so it means I'll have to head across town in this cold crap later on. Ugh!

Today is a chance to get more writing done. While I may not have access to my other computer, I'm getting much more done because I'm not spending time walking back and forth to Cara's. (My bike has two flat tires atm)

Gotta jet. Stay warm!

April 8th
Good morning world! It's Friday!! A chance to unwind after a long week, and spend time with friends and loved ones.....

....too bad no one told the weather gods. It's below zero, and there's a good skiff of white crap on the ground.  This makes for a lousy weekend coming up if you are hoping to do anything outside!! (Which of course I do - Victoria Park on Saturday) PLEASE hurry up and bring 20+ degree weather!!!

I'm having a rough day. I recently read an article that highlighted many of the factors that effect me daily. It's a good article, and well worth the read. "16 Things People in Chronic Pain Want You to Know"

Well gotta go. Talk soon...


April 11th
Good morning, Dear Diary! Hope you had a good weekend! Mine was not quite the usual adventure....

...on Friday I went back to my studio / apartment. I spent the time writing and organizing events, and before I knew it was time for me to go to bed.

Woke up, and went to Victoria Park for our regular Amtgard field day. Saturday night was spent dealing with drama*....

......on Sunday I went to Church, and then spent most of the afternoon dealing with more drama*

I didn't up to my usual hijinks this weekend. Instead of being with Cara, I was at home. Rather than go to Kitchener or even Belegarth weapon training, I stayed home. Why? My soul is hurting....

...*Drama. I know exactly what is going on. Unfortunately, due to the fact that Amtgard is somehow spilling over into real life, two individuals at the park are creating issues. (I'm not naming anyone, just so you know - My hope is that things will be resolved, and only negativity is bred from pointing fingers) Because Cara and I ended up being the two highest ranking officers, there are some that feel it is too much power for a couple to maintain. Any stress, snappy reactions, and bitterness, is being fueled by this single issue. And it's blowing up! I'm forced to remind myself that everyone is different, and the only person's actions I can control are my own. It's times like this I need to fall back on the Power of Attraction, and the use of Positive Thinking. I'll not stoop to any level of retaliation, and endeavor to fix this issue with kindness and understanding. One thing is certain, I'll not be letting someone else try and dictate how my personal relationships go.....

......well, lots to do. Things to write, and even one rewrite. I might be going out with Diane later, so we'll see. Hope you have a good week!


April 18th
I have to apologize for the gap in my journal. There are a couple reasons I sometimes forget to write, but most times it's due to the fact I don't have my computer. I'm spending more and more time with Cara, and I'm finding myself extremely busy. (Time flies when you're having fun)

A few things of note....
A) The extreme level of "followers" on social media was some kind of fluke. My counter now reads "17" as it should be. Not sure what happened there
2) The drama between the individuals at Amtgard continues. I'm frustrated by this, and cannot see a way forward without flexing some "officer muscle". AKA I may have to ban a player. I cannot even begin to express how frustrated I am that things have come this far!

I've got work to do. Sorry for the short entry, but priorities are calling. Have a good week.

April 19th
Good morning, world. It's Tuesday! Woke up in Cara's arms, and rolled out of bed with a smile. It feels so good to be loved, and desired!

Neither of us are morning people. It's not until after my morning jolt of caffeine and a few trips to the bathroom that I'm able to function, but I try my hardest to be as cheerful as possible.

I'm writing today. I've set up my laptop at Cara's with the intention of getting as much work done possible. Once I get my morning routine out of the way and medicate myself, you can be certain I'll be writing up a storm.

First St. Andrew's Choir - Spring 2016

The gorgeous weather we had has been replaced by gloomy clouds and chilly wind. Summer's coming, but it sure is taking its time!

We had an officer meeting to deal with the issues of stress created by a couple of individuals on field. Our concerns are being met in the way of Participation Agreements, as none of us truly desire to actually lay down a swift hammer-stroke to those people we used to call good friends. While we need to have our issues addressed, no one wants to cripple those three players ability to engage in Amtgard events. I can only hope that this will bring a resolution to a frustrating situation, but in the end it will be up to those three to ultimately decide their own fate. As officers we have given them the tools to end this peacefully, but the idiom "You can lead a horse to water, but can't force it to drink" comes to mind. I sincerely  hope they take advantage of this olive branch, and find resolution for all involved!

Had a moment of weakness this morning. While surfing Facebook, I happened to notice a short video of a freind's baby girl, from North-Western Ontario. As I watched, a sudden burst of emotion flooded over me and I ended up crying. Why? It's simple..... I'll never see my friend's children growing up. Same goes for everyone else I left back in the Rainy River District. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss them terribly, but I know in my heart that I am where I'm supposed to be.

Well, should jet. Things to see and people to do...... (Spoonerism - The actual phrase is "People to see and things to do").... Talk soon. :)

April 20th
Happy 420! It's an odd phenomenon, but this is the first year I don't care about Canada's marijuana laws. I guess it's because I now imbibe daily for my chronic pain and other issues. What so many see as a good time, is merely a way to help me deal with cramping, bloating, frequent trips to the bathroom. You have to understand, Dear Diary, ther are times when I wished I didn't have to use marijuana so much; besides a constant lack of money, there's a dependency I don't enjoy. AKA I can't leave the house without getting stoned.

To all those pushing to have the laws changed, I hope your peaceful protest pushes the right politicians to changing the outdated laws to reflect Canadian values. Be classy, 420 revelers!

The weather is decent. Sunshine and an expected high of 17 degrees.

Turns out our efforts to find a resolution to the three individuals who are creating stress and frustration at Silva Urbem, was met by unforeseen resistance; those three are being protected by the Prince of the Northern Empire. Not sure what's going to happen, but I can assure you that things will never be the same. I'll let you know how things turn out.

I'm frustrated today, and have quite a bit on my mind.


April 21st
I'm single again. I'm not going to go into any details, Dear Diary, because that's not the way I work. This entry is merely to inform you of the major change in my life. You'll have to pardon me if I seem a little "broken".

There is so much going on in my mind right now, and I can't write over 90% of it due to my attempts at maintaining a lifestyle utilizing The Power of Attraction, and some promises I've made when it comes to writing about others. The fact that I'm upset and having such negative thoughts is normal, I guess considering what just occured, but I'm not going to validate my negativity by writing it down.

Ergo, instead of focusing on the bad stuff that has happened recently (And man it seems like the bad stuff just keeps piling up as of late, doesn't it?) LET'S have a look on the Positive stuff.

[Crickets]

Oh! ... Yea..... Got my medical marijuana card for pain, so I guess that's good. Sucks that I have to be all twisted inside and need medication everyday though, so those two might cancel each other out. Hmm... My mind is still intact.... I think.... So that's a good thing, right? .....I can still sex up a lady pretty decently, and that's always a good thing! My eyes are getting worse and worse.... Not really sure those last two cancel out though, now that I think of it....

.,.....I dunno <sighs> I'm certain there's lots to be happy about, I just don't feel that way right now. I'm not looking for sympathy, Dear Diary, so please don't offer any. I'll get over the fact that I've just unfreinded three members of Silva Urbem, or that the fact I'm thinking about giving up running for office in June. Or maybe quitting altogether. Like I said, feeling pretty shitty right now.

Don't know what to write. I'm going to stop now. Later......

P.S. No one is perfect. I have scars on my soul just like everyone else. We don't get to go through life without getting scars, because that's the way life works. You stub your toe, you trip and fall, and you get your heart broken. These things happen, and while it may seem extremely overwhelming at the time, it's what you do after that really counts the most when it comes to quality of character. Those that grimace past the throbbing pain and pick themselves up, will know that with every scar comes new hope.

The important thing to remember, however, is that while it's a good thing to avoid what hurts you, because that's human nature, it's only by pushing past your fears and realize that each time is different that you can find true happiness in life.

Each day is different.
Each year is different.
Each lover is different.

What happened to you yesterday will not influence what happens today, unless you allow it to. As your body grows and then, inevitably ages, you will realize how much differently each year really is! And, you know my policy on lovers......

......If you can ever stop loving someone, it means you never really did. Treat every single one of them differently, because they are.

Zzorhn

April 23rd
Woke up in my own bed to a gloomy, overcast day. Forgive me, Dear Diary, but I'm in one hell of a lousy mood! (I'm going to not hold back this morning, so please forgive any negativity)

I'm dreading tomorrow. It's a Silva Urbem Althing, but this is the first time I've had serious doubts about the role the other officers are providing. Since we were unable to quell the negativity in our ranks and on field, I'm frustrated! There is also talk of some sort of "petition" circulating among those three individuals who are set out to destroy the park.  Guess we'll see what bullshit that is, soon enough.

I'm worried about my role as Monarch. I've done nothing more than expect the best from myself and others, and tried hard to be an example both on field, and off. Now, with the future of Silva Urbem in limbo, I am doubting the role I have been playing. What good is it to do my best when others simply want to destroy what I've worked so hard on?

Got some sort of ex-royalty coming down. Normally I would be ecstatic, but I believe this visit from the former Prince of Northern Empire is to deal with the growing unrest in the park, not an honoured visit. I also believe that those three individuals who are determined to wreak our park have invited him to bolster their "petition".

I could be wrong. Perhaps it's my frustration that is clouding my judgment.

One thing is for certain, I have to approach this with a smile and just continue to perform my role as player, guide, and leader. 

Changing the topic, I'm now seriously doubting the validity of the opposite sex. The idea of dating or finding a new love interest makes me squeamish! I've come to the opinion that due to women's inability to get over their past, they will continue to bring unwanted emotional baggage to any future relationship. I've seen it too many times, and the fact it keeps happening to me is disheartening While it is true that everyone has scars, it is counterproductive to bring those emotions into a new relationship. Needless to say, I'll be taking my time before becoming involved again.....

....because I'm worth it. Because I don't deserve abuse. Because I am a good man with a big heart. Because I deserve a chance at a family and love. Because, I deserve the best.

So, here it is, Dear Diary, that I am making a new resolution for myself; time to concentrate on me again. I need to get back on a steady workout routine and focus on my own goals again. I got so mixed up with my emotional state that I was compromising my own dreams and morals. I need to concentrate on writing and my acting career. Focus on choir and Church. Clean up my house. Do what I need to do to make myself happy......

...because, I deserve happiness.

Everyone wants to be happy. Most people will say, "I want happiness", however, a smart person will realize you have to remove one's ego, by taking out the word "I", and you need to remove desire by taking out the word "want". Only then, are you left with "Happiness". - INSPIRATIONAL QUOTATIONS

Hope you have a great weekend! 

April 24th
I don't even know what to say..... You remember those three individuals that blatantly ignored Health and Safety, openly threatened other players, and were creating a toxic environment in Silva Urbem? Well, they managed to created a petition based on LIES, and showed up at Victoria Park yesterday with the ex-Prince of the Northern Empire TO FORCIBLY REMOVE CARA AND I FROM OFFICE!

Like, what the actual fuck?! I poured my heart and soul into that (bad word) organization, only to have it ripped away by selfishness, greed and corruption! 

I packed up my things, and hung my head in shame as I walked away from something that has been a major part of my life for almost an entire year! It took incredible self-control to not cry in front of those twat-waffles, but I'll admit the tears started flowing once I got around the corner. Once home, I went online and removed the redirect for the website I had paid for and developed, deleted all the upcoming events I was planning, and notified all the people that were lined up for future events. After all, THAT WAS my intellectual property, and I refuse to allow those idiots access to my hard work and dedication.

I'm devastated, and I don't think it's possible for my heart to break anymore!
 
When people hurt me or get me down, I just have to remember that I'm an author.......

......one of my favourite quotes comes from the movie, "A Knight's Tale", told by the Bard, Geoffrey Chauncer; "I will eviscerate you in fiction. Every pimple, every character flaw. I was naked for a day; you will be naked for eternity. "

I changed the saying a bit to reflect real-life, but it applies nonetheless......



........And if that doesn't work, I just have to trudge: the slow, weary, depressing, yet determined walk of a man who has nothing left in life except the impulse to simply soldier on.

I'll be finishing up that ongoing story of Silva Urbem, but you can bet I'll be writing it from the same perspective I always have; portraying the characters as they are played on field. WHICH MEANS, I'll be pointing out the corruption and malice of those responsible. My plan is to correlate the whole thing (all forty-some chapters) and sell a bunch of copies. You know, make the best of the situation and find inner peace by doing what I do best; write. I'll be certain to point out the selfishness, and destructive attitudes of those who have dragged a once-vibrant Amtgard chapter into the flaming wreckage it is.

ALL this will be highlighted in the end of the novel I wrote. It will take a few days of hard work to get it all done, but rest assured, Dear Diary, that I will make this my next big Amazon seller.

Just so we're clear, this isn't revenge. I wrote the entire storyline based on the actual occurrences at the park, and while some of it might be subtle, I have made great effort to highlight all the important stuff we did, and you can be certain I'll be ending the book in the same way. Watch for the upcoming announcements.

I spoke with London's Belegarth group, and they are more than happy to see me return to their field. While it lacks the role play aspect (and magic), those men and women are so dedicated to each other, it puts to shame anything I've seen before in a combat sport organization. They actually understand that a group is only as strong as its members.

I gotta go.....Off to pen the final chapters of Silva Urbem. Talk soon.

6 pm
I received a message from a friend, that wrote, " I read the journal entry, but I will put my comment on terms I know you will understand...

Is that what Khan Sarah McEvedy when those thrice dezgra Jaguar, Wolf and Falcon clans poured poison in the ear of the savashri Kerensky? Did she merely walk away in tears? Neg, she did not.
You know what you must do, OvKhan."


My reply?  Aff, Nova Captain K'Temoc! Aff, I do know what must be done.

You know my spirit better than most. The tears I shed that day were not out of frustration at the dezgra that sought to corrupt the tenants of honour and distinction that Silva Urbem held so dear. It was neither weakness nor heartache that made me weep when the savashri ex-Prince of the Empire accepted lies as fact, and assisted those who undermined the very fabric of our Sibkin's values.....

...Neg. Those tears I shed were for the men and women who will now be subject to the corruption and tyranny of those that seized power. My heart is, after all, my only weakness......

.....But you already knew that K'Temoc. Quiaff?

What to do? Like any good commander I will fall back and assess the situation. Call upon my allies, and those who would perhaps bring justice. The event is both chronicled in my journal, but also in a codex that will be soon made available. I will get my Trial of Grievance. The batchall is simple; a battle of whits....
....... To which, the Freebirth are incredibly lacking. In the words of Nicholas Kerensky, "True warriors do not follow paths, they make them. It is not just their desire, it is their nature".... And you can be certain I will continue to lead our people, Nova Captain.[Bows]


10 pm
Well, I've been hard at work......

Spy vs Spy
Adverse Aspirations
Checkmate

.......ALL three were written a week or so ago and I forgot to post a link for them. I'm sorry. Have a quick read before you check out the last chapter and epilogue.

I know
Silva Urbem Epilogue

OK, so the next thing to do is to correlate all that stuff, and get it published. There. Are. Forty Two. Chapters........

....maybe I'll start tomorrow. Have a good one.

April 25th
Bad news comes in three, they say. I'm no different apparently.....

.......The apartment building where I'm currently living, is being viewed by realtors. That's right, I may end up losing my place of residence. Nothing is set in stone yet, and I'm told if the building sells we may not have to move, however, you and I both know how much weight words mean to me right now.

My world continues to  crush down upon me.

I've been called out by an acquaintance for removing my intellectual property from the Silva Urbem Facebook site, and taking down the website.  I have to ask... What did they think I would do? Bend over and take it some more?

Jesus liked to explain things in parables, and I find it's an easy way to describe things. So here is my rendition.....

.....a young girl is walking down the street when a dog runs out and grabs on to her dress with its teeth. In self-preservation, she pulls away from the threat. In the scuffle her clothing is torn. When she gets home, her parents and those around her chastise her for the torn dress.

Now the question is, who is at fault? The little girl? Or the dog?

The morality of the situation would have most people claiming "The dog" is at fault, and they would be correct in that answer. The fact remains that there are going to be vicious animals in life that we need to contend with, and when our appearances get shredded it is not the fault of the victim, but rather, the fault lies with the attacker. Remember that the next time someone reacts to any kind of abuse.......

...I guess you could say that's the story of my life; someone hurts me, I react, and then everyone blames me.

Gotta go. I got shtuff to do.

6 pm
So, I'm still working on that book. 235 pages!?! Holie cow! I'm playing the "Comma Game", and spanking grammatical errors like a spam-blocker....... [shakes his head] ......Now, some of this is from a couple years ago, but the difference in quality stands out like a beacon to me.......

........I guess writing nearly every day will do that to a guy, eh?

ANYWAY, I was going back to look at some of the stuff on my website when I noticed the counter has jumped over 27 K!!
 
Twenty Seven THOUSAND page views!

I'm stunned! I cannot thank everyone enough for all their support in achieving goals I only once dreamed possible! It makes me proud to know that my work is being read all over the world, and is being shared by those who enjoy my style of writing!

Thank you all so very much! I couldn't have done this without you!

April 26th
Woke up to a gloomy, cold, rainy day.... Like we need more [bad word] precipitation! Please Spring, stop teasing us with the warm sun only to take it away again.....

...oh well, it's not like I was going to go outside anyway; there's too much proofreading to do.  I started yesterday, and only got through the first couple of chapters.

This, is going to take a while.

April 27th
That time of the month; no food, and no medication. I've been in serious pain and couldn't leave the house yesterday.

The sun is shining, and the trees are now in full budding mode. It feels good to see Spring finally on its way!

There's a bright red Cardinal outside my window who has taken it upon himself to declare that part of the city as his territory. While he's beautiful to look at, and his song is a varied degrees of challenging notes, it sounds like a freaking car alarm! Little jerk keeps waking me up at 6:30!?! Like, dude! Some of us don't (or can't) wake up at that time! I end up rolling over and shoving earplugs in my ears just to try and get some relief. Can't wait until some lady Cardinal accepts his karaoke style posturing and gives him something to do for the next couple of months......

...because we all know that once you get a lady friend it takes up so much of your time.

Guess that's why I've been writing so much lately; I have no ladies in my life.

The job of proof-reading the story-line of Silva Urbem has invoked quite a few emotions from me. Going back, I can see where I foolishly trusted those responsible for the destruction of London's Amtgard chapter, as well as, the moment I started dating Kitteh LePurr. I'll admit, some of what I'm reading is hard, and is bringing out a strong emotional response.

Speaking of work, I should try and get at it. I've spent a couple hours trying to write this entry due to frequent trips to the bathroom, and severe cramping. Hopefully this afternoon is better.....

.....Hope your Hump day is,...... Humpable. As for me? I won't be seeing much action soon, that I can assure you.........

April 28th
For the first time in three weeks I am spending time with Diane. Don't get me wrong, Dear Diary, it's only because she has been very busy with her life that we haven't hung out much. Well, today is Thursday, and we're spending some quality  time together. Right now we just got back from the store for her weekly shopping trip, I am just starting to do laundry.... And we're heading out for lunch. Talk in a bit.

1 pm
Back from McLunch. Diane treated me to my first time using a kiosk to order, instead of talking to a McPerson, You walk in, and there's this big touch screen quite similar to a large cell phone. Even the interface is similar to files on a Windows operating system, or akin to most apps, and you can be certain it's got to feel much more user friendly to a younger person than someone our age. However, I found it extremely easy to use, and the personalization was excellent. The fact that it now skips three steps that might cause my order to be wrong (And most times it was) is a God-send! I hear they may even save some McMoney by eliminating the cashier in this improvement. Anyway,  once you enter your order and pay for it, you simply have to wait for your McNumber to appear at the counter to pick up your McFood.

Welcome to the future!

Do I like it? Heck yea! Does Diane? Heck..... not as much.....

......she finds it slower, and less personal. What do you think, Dear Diary? I enjoy ordering pizza online instead of phoning the restaurant, and I like using the touch screen to order food. I guess you can't call me old-fashioned, eh?

Apparently we are making pizza for supper for the first time in like, forever.... Should be awesome!!

Talk soon.

11 pm
 I've come a realization that this has been one whirl-wind of a month so far. Now I know that I have a habit thus far of breaking my chapters into three month blocks, however, considering the amount of changes that have occured, I should just start a new chapter in my life.

After all, that's really what life is about, right? When things happen the best thing to do is simply turn the page and wipe the slate clean.

So it is, Dear Diary, that I'm closing the sixth chapter of Obscure Arcanum, and moving on with life.

If you want to read the next chapter, go to Obscure Arcanum - Chapter Seven
d more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/diary_2.html
I would consider my diary serves the same purpose as going for a walk or a run. They are all physical ways of clearing a mental landscape.
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/diary_2.html
I would consider my diary serves the same purpose as going for a walk or a run. They are all physical ways of clearing a mental landscape.
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/diary_2.html

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