Obscure Arcanum - Chapter Thirteen

A DIARY (also called a journal) is a record (originally in handwritten format) with discrete entries arranged by date reporting on what has happened over the course of a day or other period. A personal diary may include a person's experiences, and/or thoughts or feelings, including comment on current events outside the writer's direct experience. Someone who keeps a diary is known as a diarist.


Have you ever wanted to read someone's diary? Here's your chance...First time here? It's always best to start at the beginning.  

T-Boned” (2014)

“Turn the Page” (2014)

Obscure Arcanum” (2015+)
Chapter Twelve

Nothing ever stays the same, and it's how we adapt to change that determines our success. For me this holds so true, and it's only when I allow myself the opportunity to adapt and change that I can succeed in achieving my goals.


At one time, not so very long ago, I had completely given up hope. I was stricken with major health issues, and I've been forced to live each day with bloating, cramping, and severe pain. I have been issued a medical marijuana license to help with the  sensations that plague me every single day, but it's still hit or miss depending on what I eat, what I drink, the weather, the levels of stress in my life, and many other external influences. I can flare up at a moment's notice, so much of what I do is pre-planned from day to day. It wasn't always this way, and I'll admit then when I first took sick and the medical-professionals from the backwards little town I came from couldn't help, I became seriously depressed. A life-long friend, Diane Lawrence, made arrangements for me to leave the Rainy River District in North-Western Ontario, seeking medical help in Southern Ontario. Since that choice and subsequent move, I have managed to have some control over my life, and I am now in a much better frame of mind. In fact, it's like I've been given a new lease on life.

The roller coaster of life is fraught with good and bad moments. As an individual I have made it my mantra to try and see the good in every situation, but that in itself isn't easy. There are so many things that drag a person down in life, and there are times when it feels like I'm slipping under the pounding waves, gasping for breath as I drown. There are other times when I lose myself in the moment and cannot imagine life any differently. These moments are not as rare as people would have you believe, for my happiness comes from within and is not necessarily based on external influences.

Why do I keep an online journal for anyone to see and read? To be totally blunt, I hadn't intended to start an online diary, but in 2006 I decided that I needed a place to put my thoughts where others could easily access them. Initially, it was a tool for me to use in debates or to post a joke or story I had written. I didn't start out thinking that I would someday make a habit of writing daily, but life changed as all things eventually do, The very first diary I posted online was my memoirs written during my incarceration in 2012. I found that writing my thoughts down helped me to see things more clearly, as well as, getting all those thoughts out of my head. I find that when I get something stuck in my head the best way to move past the moment in time or the imagery, is to write, paint, or craft. In this same manner, I put my thoughts down each day not only as a reminder to me about all the day's events, but also how I feel and more importantly how things are affecting me. There are many reasons that spur me to diligently write in my diary, but one of the biggest is the thousands of people who follow me online.

 It's quite the story. You can tell from reading my journal, or as I tend to call it, "Dear Diary", how things in my life are going from day to day. For me? It's an interesting social experience, although it was not originally intended to become a world-wide phenomenon like it did; the whole purpose of the "Turn the Page Series" and "Obscure Arcanum" was for my family and friends back home to keep track of my whereabouts and the major events in my life during my move to Southern Ontario in 2014. Then, it morphed into something much more......

........To date, over thirty-eight thousand people have visited my website! My goal to become world-renown is being achieved, and it's only through the help and support of people like you that I am able to continue chasing my dreams. Thank you for helping make this such a huge success!

Lucky Chapter Thirteen. Unlike others, I'm not prone to superstition and honestly believe the number thirteen is the opposite for me. I am very exited to see how this next chapter in my life will unfold!

Zzorhn

April 3rd, 2017
Good morning, Dear Diary. The sun that made a brief appearance yesterday is once again gone, disappeared behind a heavy bank of dark clouds. It's damp, chilly, and dreary.

Today marked the very first day I woke up in my new house and did the "Iguana Routine" of bathing, and feeding. Poor little Hephestusamazilion is still stressed out and grumpy.

I met the other two roommates I'll be sharing this house with. Both are selfish and quite ignorant. I hope there's no issues over their reluctance to socialize, clean up after themselves, or share accommodations. (Although I'm told this isn't going to change) Last night at 1:30 AM I was awaken by Mike using his cellphone on speaker-mode, talking loudly, and with the other person on the phone drifting down the hall. I'm told the other guy (Can't remember his name) does the exact same thing....

.......Seriously. I've never understood this rude behaviour, and I swear I never will! Put on a set of headphones and have a private conversation, for fuck sakes, and if it's after 9 PM use hushed tones if you share accommodations with others. Simple logic, that unfortunately eludes certain types of people.

Oh well, I'm told those two won't be here long, as the new landlord is trying to set up like-minded people who can work together. I'm told this is the reason they were so excited to have me move back, and the effort to remove those who create problems for their roommates is a real thing. It's why a few of the others are no longer here. Guess we'll just have to wait and see how things turn out. Regardless, I'm here for a year as per the lease I signed.

Health is the same.

Time for me to concentrate on what makes me happy.

I won't be writing today, as I have many things that need to be tackled. I am really looking forward to cracking open the files I've put on the back-burner, and get some work done. Maybe tomorrow.

Gotta go. We'll talk soon.

April 4th
It's raining. Quelle surprise.....

.....I'm in a decent mood this morning. I slept better for the first time since I moved here. So far I was flipping and flopping to all the new house noises, but last night I seemed to do alright. My computer desk is set up, so I just turned it all on this morning and got down to my new routine. Even Hephestusamazilion is doing better today. He's more relaxed, and seems to be doing well.

I had to tear apart his cage a bit to get it into my room, however, I am pleased to announce that it is completely back together, rewired, and looking better than ever. (Well, it needs a couple touches here and there)

Roommates are good. I've met them all, and there doesn't seem to be any issues.

SLOWLY getting my things unpacked. There's not as much room as I remember for some reason.... Oh.. Right... I have more stuff. The first time I moved there was less than 90 KGs for me to unpack. The second time I had a desk and a chair to toss into the mix, although it still all fit into Diane's van. NOW, it took a van AND a trailer to haul it all! No wonder I feel a bit cramped.

The plan today is to do some more cleaning, and maybe even tackle an article I've wanted to work on. I doubt I'm leaving the house in this weather.

We could really use some sun and heat. There's moss growing on all the trees as of this moment, and if I swear it's going to start growing on my backside soon from all this cold, damp crap we keep getting.

I should go. Have a good one, eh?

April 5th
I have no routine at this moment. and it feels like I'm simply living from day to day. Wake up, clean and sort things, and then go to bed. It doesn't matter what time I eat. It doesn't matter how I spend my time.

I will snap out of this funk in a bit, but it's going to take time. Basically, I'm homesick. Having spent almost a year living somewhere else made me attached, and I'm still surprised when I wake up each day to find me in my old room.

Slept in this morning. While that might sound like a good thing, it's because I started taking my other medication again, but I forgot how drowsy it makes me. Poor iggy! He was about an hour-and-a-half getting his lights turned on this morning. Maybe I should think about finding a timer so I can regulate his lights.

That does raise a very valid point, however, and it's something I knew before getting an iguana..... I have to be home each morning to deal with his routine. This may be problematic when (and if) it comes to relationships. Oh well, for now I have my iguana and that's enough.

I finished that article I felt compelled to write. Have a peek if you like. I entitle it "Alien Immigration", and it addresses the growing concern many countries have over the illegal immigration crisis currently sweeping the globe.

Did some writing on my Yule story this morning. Felt good to tackle that project a bit. Not feeling that well, so I don't know what I'll do this evening.

Gotta go. It's time for me to find something to snack on, and maybe do some more sorting of stuff. Have a good one.

April 6th
Rain. The forecast is calling for a couple days of it. In fact, predictions are that tomorrow might bring sleet or even snow! Like, what the (explicit)?! It's windy and cold, and even inside the iguana cage it's not as warm as it could be.

[Laughs] The Iguana Cage...... That's IT! That's what I'm going to call my new studio / room. After all, Hephestusamazilion IS a free-roaming iguana (Although in this weather he stays right under his heat lamp) It's not a far stretch of the imagination that I am living in the iguana cage, and in this case, doing art / video / etc in the 9 X 10 foot room where I work. (And sleep)

Yea, my humble abode is very small. The house is nice though, with hard wood floors and marble counter-tops. I rent a small room by the kitchen, and I have roommates. It is what it is....

...But! It's also fairly quiet and moves at a much slower pace. I can work and write, which is what I want to do. Just the iguana and I.

I won't lie to you, Dear Diary, I really miss the apartment and the people there.... But then I remember the problems and the fights..... And suddenly I'm good.

Still tweeking the actual iguana enclosure, as well as, tweeking the room. A few things here and there, making certain the lights are warm enough, but not too hot. You know.... I DO have my art center hung and ready for painting. Maybe I'll try my hand at that for a bit this afternoon. Write, and possibly see if I can sell a few items on Kijiji. I DO know that once I get into a daily routine I'll be making some serious modifications to Hephestusamazilion's enclose, like, added branches for climbing, and maybe a way to climb out and sit in front of the window... That is, if we ever get any sun and heat....

...hurry up Summer!

I'm going to go write. Talk soon.

April 7th
Good morning, Dear Diary. Are you warm and comfy? As for me, I'm staying indoors due to an extreme cold weather front that BROUGHT SNOW!! Ugh! Seriously. There's a layer of the cold crap on the ground, and sitting there like some sick joke.

Hephestusamazilion is doing much better. I managed to finally get a proper heat-bulb for the little fella, and in a couple of days he is really rebounding. I was pretty certain it was too cold in this new house compared to the apartment, and now I can stop worrying. Yesterday he decided to start exploring his new home, and actually chose to leave the iggy enclosure on his own. He still can't get up on my bed yet as it's so steep, but once I get rolling I'll have it set up so he can make better use of the whole room. Come Summertime I know how nicely this room heats up, and I would like to have a few things for him to roost on and explore. After all, that's what I got him for, right?

I remember the first time I had an iguana. I used the animal as an excuse to craft an ever-expanding work of art in my living room. Using real branches, rocks, and fake plants, I crafted a forest within my home. In that manner I am thinking about how I can adapt such a concept in my bedroom. Should be fun to build!

What to do today? Oh, yea! WRITE! Last night I really dove into one of my stories, and I'm excited as to how it is fleshing out. I am happy to see that I am bitten with the writing bug again. I love being able to be functionally creative. (As opposed to spontaneity, and a make-shift work space)

Speaking of which, I should go. Not a whole lot else to speak of anyway. I guess I'm leaving out many parts of my life and current thoughts, such as, how has my relationship with Diane changed since I moved closer? (And away from conflict) How am I feeling about my family I just moved away from? How is my mindset in all this change? I could seriously write a whole book I suppose, if I were to attempt to address everything that's going on.... But, then again... I am writing about my thoughts and feelings..... Seriously, read my short stories and books... It's all in there, hidden between the lines.

Well, Zzorhnamanaics, I gotta jet. I'm doing some light cleaning today, making some homemade buns, and really wanting to delve into a book. We'll talk soon.

April 8th
Good morning. The sun is actually shining, and I'm told the temperatures will hit double digits today. Not necessarily balmy, but I'll take the sunshine any day!

I'm trying to figure out if I should go to my foam-fighting class this afternoon from 12-2. My health is about the same, so I guess I'll have to wait and see how I am. So sucks I can't just plan to go, eh?

It is a nice day, so regardless of what I do, I should take advantage of it somehow.

Still a little homesick... Well, I miss the cuddles and kisses, that's for sure.

I placed a small radio in Hephestusamazilion's cage. I can just imagine what it's like to sit in a fairly sound-proof cabinet all day, especially when there's no one in the room. At the apartment the little guy had to worry about cats and another iguana, but here he has no such stimulus. I figured adding a radio for him to listen to will do the same thing farmers do in their barns... And studies have proved that cows produce more milk when they have music for them to listen to. Anyway, I figured he would find some comfort in some background noise of "London's best radio station - Jack 102.3 FM". It has a little bit of a talk show in the morning, and a pretty decent variation on tunes. Hope it does the trick.

Yea. Even as I sit here my abdomen is crawling with pain. Ugh. Probably won't make it across town to sword fight.

I want to scrub down the iggy cage today, to ensure there's no smell. The light seems to be working nicely, and he's definitely acting different.... Little bugger tries to bite at me on occasion.... Guess that's what happens when he's getting enough heat and is not lethargic. I'll tame him up... You watch....

....Gotta go. Hope you have a great weekend.

April 9th
It's not the iggy cage per-say that is creating the funky scent, but a combination of my dirty laundry and a bad case of flatulence on my part, as well as, the floor of the iggy cage. While I still haven't done the laundry yet, I scrubbed the whole cabinet down yesterday.

The sun shines into my window from about 2 pm to 5ish. During that time I had little Hephestusamazilion on the bed, soaking up the real sun. He seemed to enjoy it, as well as, chilling out with me for a couple hours.

Today is another sunny day, so I'm going to try and do something outside to celebrate. Yesterday I went for a nice bike ride, hitting all the spots I know from living here previously. For example, there's a really steep incline that is kept mowed, so it offers a 10 meter drop in elevation on about 100 meter slope. I bike up to the top and then using my "Down-hill Swinn off-road bike" I zig and zag down the hill, much like a skier does on a mountain slope.

My health was decent by the afternoon, but I will admit I missed out on the foam-fighting earlier  because I couldn't leave the house for cramps and the constant need for a bathroom. That sucks! I hope to get out to field soon.

Well, I suppose until I'm feeling better I'll do some writing. I had a slow start this morning, but it was neat to have the iggy lights and radio turn on at the proper time, and all by themselves. Speaking of which, after his bath and breakfast I found the little sitting perched atop the radio I placed in the bottom of the enclosure. I know that he's curious, because that's one aspect about iguanas that I love; their curious little minds are just like cats. I'm not certain however, if he's trying to dominate the "Strange thing making noise", or if he even likes it or not. I'm certain he does, because who likes being in a room that silent all the time. It makes me cringe to even contemplate how some iggies are kept as pets by others.... Locked in a space that's too small for them, with no stimulus, and in some cases, the wrong lights, wrong food, or calcium supplement, etc, etc, and unfortunately etc. Oh well. I've got my copy of "How to Iguana" sitting on my desk, but in retrospect I'd probably just google something I don't know... I mean, who uses a book now-a-days, amma-right?


Kidding of course... I want people to read books.... I'm an author. And all artists, musicians, authors, et all desire an audience. Someone to experience the moment in time, or treasure a work of art or old book. This is why people do what they do; to share their message or experience with others...

...I mean, I could be keeping a private diary, but then you would miss out on the story, right?

I'm going to go. I have a few projects I'm working on today, and eventually I'd like to get outside. We'll talk soon, I promise!

April 10th
The sun is trying to make an appearance this morning, and I can already feel a gentle warmth on the wind. The forecast is for decent temperatures with partly cloudy conditions.

Good morning, Dear Diary. I had a horrid night from bloating and cramps. Didn't sleep until 3 AM, and woke up to a full-blown health issue. It's nearly 11 AM right now, and I'm only able to write due to my first medication moment a few minutes ago.

I did manage to get out again yesterday. I even went for a little bit of a Pokemon hunt. Doesn't feel the same though when you're playing by yourself. I'm no longer grinding the game, and only playing it casually. I still hit the daily bonuses, but where I live the slim are pickings. That was a spoonerism)

Not much to report today. I found out what the funky smell was, and although I blamed it on myself I was wrong... The new light I installed in the iggy enclosure was a bit too hot, and I had to replace it with the old one. The smell went away immediately. That's good to know. The smell of heated wood was the cause.. No worries, it wasn't THAT hot where it might burst into flames, but it was enough heat to stir up a funky smell.

Did I tell you I got a thermometer to accurately measure the temperature in the cage? Yup.... A scientific one, and with I determined that Hephestusamazilion is getting the appropriate heat. That's always good to know.

I have to go and get more blood-work checked. Again. On a separate note I am being referred to a foot specialist for the severe arthritis on my big toe on the left foot. This was caused by an injury when I dropped a plate I was washing at home. The heavy plate fell straight down and caught me right in the middle of my joint. Not sure what they are going to do if it's surgery or what, to try and repair the damage and allow me to use my foot better.

Gawd! I'm falling apart.

Gotta jet. My appointment is in an hour, and there's tons to do between then and now. Hope you have a great day!

April 11th
It's partly sunny today. A major storm went through yesterday afternoon and then again late at night. Pools of water lay all over the water-soaked ground, and a thick, fog-like haze hangs over the city. Can we please be done with the rain for a bit? We're wet enough.....

......Good morning, Dear Diary. I'm in the usual shape this morning as per my health, but I'm also tired. I went out last night and didn't get home until 1 AM.

Yea, I was halfway home on my pedal-bike at midnight, when the sky broke and the flood of wet shit decided to soak me from head to toe. Luckily I had an umbrella to protect my electronics, but in a very short time I was wet, cold, and grumpy. The only way to ensure my cell-phone and such were protected was to walk carrying an umbrella and pushing my bike.

I'm sick of the constant cloud, cold, and constant precipitation.

I guess I should explain why I was roaming around at such a late hour..........

.....you know, Dear Diary, that I don't lie to you. In an effort to keep that promise I sometimes choose not to divulge everything that's going on. After all, I've found out that when I do write about some things it comes back to bite me in the ass. This fact is even more evident when it comes to relationships; women in my life don't usually like being the topic of my very-public diary. I actually don't blame them, and at times I have considered not making mention of that part of my life, simply to offer a tiny bit of privacy to my significant other. If you haven't taken the time to read, "Don't Write About Me", I suggest you do. In it I explain this phenomenon, and how it's been something I've noticed all my life.

When I do write about the situations I encounter when dealing with the opposite sex, I understand that it appears one-sided, being as I'm the one explaining things with no one to counter my written words. I get that..... I understand that emotions and perception have a nasty way of getting twisted up with reality when humans are involved with someone. It's part of what makes us who we are, and unlike so many other animals on the planet, we have a tendency to allow those emotionally-fueled perceptions to dictate how we act and what we say.

And, just so we're clear, I'm not always correct or conduct myself with grace and dignity. Like anyone else, I have my moments of weakness. For more information on that, you can read, "To Whom it may Concern".

So............. What's with the obvious explanatory build-up?

Well, Dear Diary, I don't want to give you the wrong impression. I'm about to explain a situation from my point-of-view, and while it is based on logic, psychology and sociological behaviour studies, as well as, personal observation, the fact remains that when a second person is involved there can be more than one correct answer.

Perception is something our species has always based our thought-processes on, as well as, much of our decision-making processes. While there might not be an evil monster under the bed, our perception can make it very real. Fear is often associated with perception, and it's in those moments where fear takes over that humans are limited in advancement due to their personal, or even public perception. How any times has our race held itself back over perceived notions? How about basing whole relationships on expected reality and perception? It's a very real phenomenon, and every single one of us is guilty of allowing perception to cloud our judgement. For the most part it isn't that big of a deal, and we happily talk to our pets, watch youtube videos on animals but never visit the zoo, and maintain the ideological balance in our minds that the world really isn't that dangerous at all in North America and it's those pesky other people on the planet causing all the problems. You see? Much of what we think and do daily is based on our perception of reality, and for the average person it goes completely unnoticed. Those kind of individuals simply repeat some sort of ideological mantra in their head to ignore that nagging whisper in their sub-conscious. Unable to see the forest due to the sheer number of trees in the way, they don't care that perception isn't reality.

I actually lose sleep over the things that go through my mind.

Wow.. Talk about a tangent... [Laughs] Anyway..... As I was saying, I'm trying to explain a situation and I just want you to keep an open mind.

As of last night I have Cara's permission to write about her. No worries, Der Diary, I'm not blindly jumping back into her arms or anything, however, it is important to note that we're still keeping dialogue open in an attempt to keep our relationship.

She believed it was necessary to move me out of the family home. Not because of the problems we had, but to stop me from trying to impart my child-rearing beliefs on the kidlet. For that reason I was forced out of the home. In retrospect, it was also a catalyst for quite a few fights; my experience with children were almost the exact opposite as hers.

I'm not alone in my beliefs in how children should be raised. All over the planet parents from dozens of nations are raising their children with similar notions of expectations; don't scream, clean up after yourself, sit up straight at the dinner table, etc. These kinds of early-life lessons are necessary for a developing child.... And I try to impart good morals, a respect for others. coupled with a sense of adventure.

Well, much of how I raise kids is not how things are in Cara's house. I'd end up getting frustrated over the same thing day after day, and when I would try to fix the situation I was rebuked. It's easy to see how this could become problematic, right? So, the choice was made for me to leave the family unit and strike out on my own... I moved my things half-way across the city of London, and set up shop in my old place. During this time Cara and I exchanged a few emotionally-charged text messages and a couple phone calls.

The thing is, I still love her. There's no switch to turn off and just snuff the feelings I have for her. After almost two years of being together it's hard to just let go, right?

I'm frustrated that I had to move. There are negatively-charged emotions that come with having to move, let alone being forced to by a lover. I can't begin to list how I feel about this, but I'm certainly not excited by the prospect of having to essentially start over.

It was decided that we were supposed to continue our relationship, even with the added distance between us. While this might sound like a good thing ( or bad, depending on how you view it) as a declaration, putting it into practice is proving to be problematic......

........she moved me out, and now wants me there as much as possible.

- It's 10 KM from my place to hers. I can catch the #20 bus or bike it.... Either way it's about an hour each way.
- Due to my disability, I am subject to waiting to see how I am feeling before making solid plans.
- Once I wake up I am in for about a three hour wait (Or so) before I can leave due to my disability.
- I have an iguana to take care of each morning.
- I'm subject to weather.

One of the reasons I didn't get much writing or creativity done while I was at the apartment was because of the constraints placed on my time. While it's true that my creativity is severely handicapped by negative surroundings, the amount of time I was busy doing "Something else" kept me away from writing or doing artwork. Now that I'm at my own little studio I want to take advantage of the isolation to work. Any time spent elsewhere severely hampers this.

So, the problem we're having is finding time to see each other. Due to the fact that my time spent around the kidlet should be kept to a minimum for now (Prudence dictates as such) the weekdays are no-go zones*. We only have a couple days on the weekend, and that's usually a busy time for everyone... So...

......we made a few plans.... And then broke them for a handful of reasons.

Cara started getting downright mean about not being to see me. Accusations of "Ghosting", soon flooded my cell phone, and I felt so damned guilty it was getting to the point where I didn't even want to pick up my phone. I even turned it off a couple times to avoid her, trying hard to concentrate on my work... Which doesn't work, because the moment I feel stressed out I'm unable to really concentrate.

*Should I stay away from the kidlet? Cara recently modified it now to where I am allowed to have contact with the child, and always on her terms. I feel naturally jaded about this.

"DANCE PUPPET!", is how I really feel. Now that Cara has me at arm's length and fully in control of each setting, I am forced to keep my mouth shut. She wants me there, but now that my stuff is across town I am forced to do things her way. When she wants me. Where she wants me. Expecting me to jump, and making me feel guilty when I don't.....

......I tried to explain to her about the reality of the situation; during courtship the excitement and desire to spent time together is based on the prospect of eventually living together and being a family. Now that I am moved out "Until the child's self-esteem isn't able to be damaged**" the end goal is no longer a cohesive-family-unit, but one where we live apart for a few years, and then see about the prospect of Cara and I living together. This changes EVERYTHING! She cannot see how problematic this situation is, and when things don't go the way she likes I 'm to blame. My excitement to run across town like when we first started dating has become diminished due to the fact the reality of an end-result of a family unit has been taken off the table. When I pointed this out to her it became another matter of contention, and you guessed it, it's my fault somehow......

**Any child raised in a home where their self-esteem is never challenged will not develop the coping mechanisms to deal with a personal attack. This kind of ideology is the same as participation medals and the need for "Safe places".

.......so there you have it, Dear Diary. It's as confusing a situation as you can get. I'm sure many people would simply tell me to cut my losses and move on, but I don't want to... I do love my little cuddle-bug, my partner in adventures, and someone who really knows me for who I am.

I have my own house now. My little place to work... And I have an iguana now, who needs attention and daily routine. My life is not the same as it was before, and to try and compare such moments in time is foolish. Things change, and so do people.

Will this work out? I guess only time will tell.

Well, Cara was upset that I wasn't writing about her (Even though she forbid me to at the time) and it made her feel like some sort of "Dirty secret". As per her request last night, I am writing about her... I DID warn her.....

.....so to be fair, I'm sure she has her motives behind what she does and says..... Much of it is emotionally-charged and based on perception, which of course, drives me nuts. Oh well, I love her....

...wow! Kinda wrote a book didn't I? Guess I better go and get busy. Have a great day!

April 12th
Happy Hump Day! The weather is gloomy, damp, and cold.

I cut a hole in Hephestusamazilion's enclosure one the right side. The goal in this is to create a climbing branch for him to explore from, right out of the cage.. Basically expanding his range. Right now I have a shelf bolted in place, but he doesn't seem too impressed. He checked it out, and then turned around.... No worries little buddy... I'll build it up for some interesting climbing, and I'm certain it'll be much better once my room gets warm... When the sun chooses to shine....

.....I've been helping one of my roommates move a few things. Didn't get any writing done yesterday.

Not a huge entry, mostly because I want to go write. It's been a long morning, and I feel like I need to vindicate myself for not being productive. Have a good one, eh?

April 13th
It's afternoon as I write this. I've spent the morning cleaning my room, as well as, doing laundry. I'm actually feeling pretty decent today, so I've been taking advantage of it. Not like I'm going anywhere.. The weather is more of the sunless, cold crap we've been experiencing for over a month.

I received a private message yesterday regarding my diary entry on April 11th. It wasn't a backlash at what I wrote, but rather a question of "Why?" What would motivate me write such a possibly risque entry? The fact is, I've learned that Cara does read my diary, and it was what motivated me to write that entry; no longer a "Dirty secret", I highlighted some of the problems we were having at the time, and how it effected me. The next question I was asked, was "Should family matters be aired?" To which I tried to explain the reasoning behind my need to show WHY things are the way they are....

.....and yes, it involves the kidlet. After all, being as it was the main catalyst for me being moved across the city, I felt it is not only relevant, but needs to be addressed for what it is. One of our main problems in our relationship is ideology, and when it comes to the raising of children I have very strong beliefs.

Any parent or parental figure who ignores a child's negative behaviour and is totally permissive, cannot expect the same child to ever be accepting of the institution of codes of behaviour, regardless of age. Any attempts to “Reign in” a child once they reach “A certain age” will be met with severe resistance, as the previous pattern of passiveness had drilled it into their minds to be resentful of oppressive authority. The parent will be viewed as a tyrant, driving a wedge between the parent and child's relationship. The key to successfully avoiding this backlash is to start teaching good morals and manners as an infant, with the attention made on how much effort the child is giving, appropriate to their age group as they develop. Yes, there are always exceptions, however, those are addressed on an individual basis and don't fit within general perimeters.

Oh well, it is what it is. People are different.

I, for example, like iguanas while some prefer cats or dogs.... Speaking of which, you should see little Hephestusamazilion! He's growing before my eyes... And getting cocky. Memo to me: Do more work with him, as he won't be easier to work with when he's bigger.. In fact, now is the time. (See what I did there? Mixed a little moral lesson into my example)

Anywho, I had to take the garbage out, and noticed a few dandelions growing in the backyard. I know these plants that most people consider weeds are actually one of the staple greens for an iguana. So, I picked a small handful and washed them before I hand fed it to him. I bet he really liked that!

Hmmm. I should try and get some work done today.... As in write. Eventually I should try my hand at painting..... Who knows what today might bring. Have a great Friday-Junior!\

April 14th
So......

.........I was doing "My thing" yesterday; cleaning, writing, etc. The morning was good health-wise (Comparatively to other days) and I seemed to be getting quite a bit done. I was in great spirits, and even starting to get excited about crafting a basking ledge* for the iguana. Then, I received a text message from Cara. "So, how's it going? Are you sick? Or forget it's Thursday?"

Looks innocent enough, right?

In anything written, it's important to realize there are messages behind the words. For example, since she knows me so well Cara is asking, "How is your day going? Is this another one of those days where you are going to claim you cannot leave the house because of health issues? We made tentative plans for you to find your way over to my house, and it's 2 in the afternoon. You don't want to really see me do you?"

I'm not making this up.

Even if you cannot see how her original text message is a guilt trip, it's clearly negative. The first line is fine, as there's nothing wrong with asking someone how their day is going. In fact, asking how someone is doing shows genuine care, although in Canadian society it's also a way of greeting someone. EG: "How's it going, eh?" The second line by itself, again, is fine. Asking how someone's health is, and if it's going to affect their activity, is genuine. How else are you going to make plans if you don't know the health situation of someone who is prone to health issues? Right? The problem is the last line, and it's laced with negativity. When you tie it into the other two sentences the whole text takes on the form of a guilt trip.

"Or forget it's Thursday". This is using negative narrative, and as in "The Law of Attraction" the phrase "Like begets like", or in this case, negativity begets negativity. It implies without previous dialogue as to the fact, that the recipient has made a mistake possibly based on being absent-minded or laxidasical, or even worse, is purposely not living up to a commitment of sorts. EVEN IF the original intent was merely to ask if I was coming, the negativity in the context instills an emotional response....

....It makes me feel guilty. Like, WHY am I not over at her house? WHY am I not taking advantage of a chance to spend time over at her house, my previous home? Like, why?!

The guilt doubles when I realize that most of the reasons I don't want to be there are because I'm doing things that bring me pleasure; write, craft, design, and get to know my roommates, as well as, try to work with my pet iguana. I immediately feel shame for wanting to do the things I love. THIS is what guilt trips do to me, and I'm suddenly left reeling as I try to not only find a resolution that's mutually beneficial, but also try to understand why I'm frustrated.

She COULD have asked, "Are you coming today?" or "Are you able to come over?", as both are simply generic statements. There is no implication, and in the case where I have chosen to not go for a visit I simply would have to say "No". IF I wanted to go on to further explain the reasons for my choice to say no to the question, then that's now up to me. I'm not starting a conversation on the defensive, and immediately feeling guilty. In EVERYTHING you do in life there are two choices; positive or negative. When you use positive energy and messages, you will receive positive responses. When you use negative energy to convey a message or deal with a situation, then you can assured that the response will almost-always be negative.

What you do and say is not just a reflection of yourself, but it also reflected back to you by those who receive your energy. This is "The Law of Attraction", and when you finally master all its intricacies you will be able to perform better, develop more meaningful relationships, and deal with life in a way you never thought possible.

It also has an unintended effect in me, and it demonstrates that I am still struggling with some of the nuances of "The Law of Attraction"; by being educated about the topic and having witnessed how it works in my life, I am frustrated when other individuals continue to use negativity to get what they want. Since I still can't naturally resort to positive energy when confronted by negative, this proves I have not fully adopted a life-style of being positive all the time. It's like anything in life, the more you do it the better you get. Still, when anyone is confronted with constant negative situations they get desensitized, and will make it quite difficult to remain positive or work on bettering themselves.

How do you keep going after someone breaks you down by the use of negativity?

I was flying along yesterday, and then, WHAM! Stonewalled. Creativity went out the poop-shoot and I was left frustrated, guilty, and even a little bitter. How on God's green Earth could I just push all that aside and go back to what I was doing? When it comes to writing I find that when I am distracted it makes things harder to do. Even painting can get easily distracted. Big projects aren't as easily distracted, as I usually mold my day around the project, even going so far as to "Make plans" to do so. Still, the moment I am set upon by negativity I lose focus, drive, and even confidence.

Stress does the same thing to me that it does to everyone in life. Some people are better designed to deal with stress. For example, I am really good at survival stress, and in the case of an emergency I am the guy you want by your side. At the same time, I cannot be creative when I am stressed out. My thinking becomes fundamental, and all notions of creativity are tossed away.

So, yea.... From about 2 PM to 4ish I got nothing of value done. Just sat here, thinking.... Like, what did I do? What can I do? What do I want to do?

What I wanted was a family. The relationship I have with Cara right now is one where I am still family, just not living with her for the time being; I'm essentially biding my time until certain criteria are met, at which time we'll "Get back together". This all seems so discordant, but there's not much than really be done, right? I mean, I didn't want to leave in the first place, knowing the extra effort required from having to live 10 KM away. Dating is different from what we have.... When you are dating the other person doesn't usually discredit or minimize what the other one does due to the fact they are attempting to make a good impression. Us? We already know each other's intimate details, so there's no butter to slide across the bread. (Butter each other's bread, or butter things up) Or need, really. With all the intimate details of good and bad, there's that nagging elephant in the room that neither of us really speaks about; the bad "Stuff" that created our co-dependencies and subsequent arguments, are still as prevalent today as they were a couple of months ago. Nothing real has changed. I've visited a councilor, who didn't really see a need for me being there alone given my fairly vast knowledge of sociology and co-dependency. I write in a diary to help me clear my mind and be able to go back and see growth. (Plus, you get to read it) I try to eat right, and exercise when I can. I take the medication that helps me get by. What I'm trying to say is, I am working on trying to better myself and I know that given a positive environment I am capable of great things. A chance at a family is one that haunts me, because it's bittersweet.... THAT IS my family, but it's one I'm being forced to live away from.

Anyway, I'm don't feel like getting into conjecture as to what the future holds. I find that when I put my thoughts down on paper (So to speak) that they become reality somehow. This phenomenon is why I chose to pen the horrific nightmare I had "The Answer", in the form of a screen-play; I didn't want to curse us by an alien visit. In that same way, I don't want to guess to how things will turn out between Cara and I. There does seem to be quite a lot of barriers built up between us, however, and I believe that if we do move forward as a couple, these barriers we've built will have to come down.

*Iguana roost - A place where my tubby, little green iguana can soak up heat, and / or UVB and UVA. Preferably where there's interaction with the owner, and / or access to a window. Fulfilling stimulus in the form of people, pets, birds, cars, etc, it should be something dependable that the iguana get accustomed to, and even seeks out on their own.

Last night after a small supper, I set out on an adventure. My goal was to find a tree trunk that would be suitable for a nesting perch in my room for Hephestusamazilion. Or should I say, "The Iguana Cage"? The trick was to find the exact tree; it couldn't be a living tree that I cut down, but rather, something that had recently been cut or blown down by wind. The branch needed to be somewhat heavy, as I needed to have it hold a basking male iguana, but also provide it's own stability. And, it had to be shaped in an "L".... THAT part was important, as the design I had in my mind was to craft something that sits at the foot of my bed and then curved across the bed. It needed to be freshly fallen, so that the bark still had enough life in it to prevent rotting, but not something that would get me in trouble with any London bylaws.So, with a saw tucked into my backpack I went for a walk.

There wasn't some mystical glow when I found an adequate branch of size and shape. While I thought finding the branch was hard, the real work was about to begin..... Cutting it into a piece that was the right size, as well as, something I could carry back home. By the time I had finished cutting it up with my dull saw, I was sweating.

The trip home wasn't glamorous either. I joked in my head that here it was coming up on Easter weekend, and I'm dragging this long, bent, tree truck down the street. I don't think anyone noticed me on purpose; looking away so as to avoid any eye contact lest they be drawn into a conversation about Religion. [Laughs] Probably could have walked down Dundas carrying the thing and had a host of mixed reactions. Anyway, it was heavy and I hurt myself.

My goal is to clean it out completely and use bleach water to kill any microbes. After that it's fitting it to the right size, and the tricky act of balancing it on a platform (You'll see - I'm using the concept of levers) After that, a few fake greenery to make it look alive, and BANG! A new perch for Hephestusamazilion to use when the sun shines,.. And it makes my room like pretty.... An indoor tree....

Iguana perch
.....well, today marks a busy one for me. I should really get my butt in gear. Have a good day, eh?

April 15th
Hello, Dear Diary. It's mid-afternoon on a soggy Saturday. I've had a very late start, and it's times like this that I'm happy I have a timer on the iguana enclosure.

Yesterday was so nice and sunny. I know it seems like I'm always complaining about the weather, but after a long stretch of the same crap it starts to wear on you... Rather like "Water Droplet Torture", where a person is immobilized and small droplets of water fall on their forehead in a mechanized fashion; doesn't sound so bad at first, but after time it can cause great stress. Anyway, the weather yesterday was fantastic for a change, and I took advantage of the warmer temperatures and sunshine.....

......and then, I met Cara at "Old East Bar and Grill" for some karaoke.

It was fun! We both sang some of our favourites, and even ended the night with our duet of Dido and Eminem, "Stan". Didn't drink that much because I couldn't contribute from lack of cash, but I guess not being extremely hung over is a bonus.

We ended up at my place. I won't go into details on that, but it was neat to wake up with her at my side. She got a chance to see how much Hephestusamazilion has grown in just two weeks, and I could tell he was happy to see her as well. After coffee she went home.

I need to get to a store and pick up a few things. The cupboards are getting bare. This is much different than before when I had Diane taking me shopping once a week, or working together with Cara to keep food in the house; now it's just me.

I did some work on the roosting limb. I think it's going to be really great once done!

Well, not a big entry, but a happy one for sure. I got to see my girl and had a chance to get out.... Talk soon.

April 16th
Happy Easter!


So, the sun finally came out to shine about 1 PM, and we were blessed with some warm weather. Today is windy, but warm. Not much sun, but at least it isn't raining.

I did some running around yesterday afternoon to gather a few supplies. I stopped at the "Dollar Store" and picked up a couple of cheap fake plants for the iguana perch I'm crafting. After taking it apart for the second time to "Get it right", I was finally satisfied with the results. Not perfect, but it'll do the trick. I had to do a few touch-ups with paint to cover up a slight disaster* I had with green rust paint, but it all worked out. Once the fake greenery was in place it looked pretty good..... Now we just need some sun.

Iguanas need to roost in the mid-30's, bathed in sunlight to be able to properly digest their food. They also seek out cooler places at times, so having an enclosure where there are no temperature graduations isn't ideal. (Like some other reptiles need) Many iguana owners don't provide everything their fast-growing reptile require, and although they are hardy creatures they must have their needs properly addressed to successfully raise a healthy iguana. Long story short? They are quite a bit of work! Don't worry, his enclosure is a balmy 32-34 degrees under the UVA / UVB lamp.

I know that I don't have any heat set up for the new roost at the foot of my bed, but I'm counting on the fact that this room hits 30 degrees Celsius in the Summer, and a golden wash of sunlight never fails to shine through my window, creating a harsh glare on my computer screen....  I mean, [Coughs] .....There's a wonderful window of opportunity for Hephestusamazilion to bathe in pure sunlight for a few hours each day. Even if the room's temperature isn't necessarily 30 degrees, merely basking in the sun will still heat him up due to radiant energy created by the sun.

Atomic particles have been bouncing around inside our sun for millions of years, fighting their way to the surface. Due to the sheer gravitational forces within the modest-sized star, the crushing weight keeps these particles held together, while the mind-boggling-force of these charged particles try to expand. These atoms are in a constant tug-of-war, moving back and forth for millennia as they try to push away, only to be held in place by gravity. But! One day these atomic particles reach the surface of the sun, and finally explode outward in a variety of different forms of energy. From radiation to radio waves, as well as, a whole contingent of light variations, this energy streaks away from the sun's surface in all directions. Light from the star moving at the speed of... Well... light.... Only takes 8 minutes to reach our little planet, even though it has to travel millions of kilometers to make this journey, As these energy waves of UVA, UVB, and all the visible spectrum pass through the atmosphere of the planet, and subsequently through the glass in my window, they bathe my iguana in life-giving energy and heat.

Yup! That's my plan.

Whew! Planning something that takes millions of years to accomplish, is hard work......

......[Chuckles] Oh, come on. That was funny. No? Are you sure?

My room is fairly clean, and although I'm moving pretty slowly this morning I think I should get some stuff done. Perhaps some writing.... I am enjoying the way this latest one is turning out.

Well, have a good one! I guess tomorrow is a holiday.... Easter Monday.... And Friday was a holiday as well. Two "Short weeks" for most folks.... Expensive time for employers, as well as, consumers. So, while you are out shopping on the limited amount of hours this weekend, avoiding making big purchases, because prices have increased slightly. (Personal observation) So, hopefully you already went out and bought your turkey a month ago.....

.....Talk soon.

*Green paint disaster - Once the tree limb for the iguana roost was cleaned, bleached, and properly sized, I wanted to seal the interior of the tree to prevent mold or fungus from growing. It's "Manitoba Maple", and they usually have their cores rotted out. This isn't a bad thing, as you can clean them out like a straw, and once sterilized the branch will not rot any further. You COULD even fill the interior with expansion foam if you wanted (Which I may do in the future, if I get some) For the moment, I chose to use up an old can of bright green rust paint I've had lying around for a year to seal the fibrous pores of the interior.

It WAS late when I tackled this portion of the project, but with no roommates home I figured it would be a decent time to paint. I opened my window and stuck a fan in it to suck the air out of the room, and thus, pull fresh air in. After all, rust paint is pretty stinky for the first while, and any room you use it in should be vented. I pulled the roosting branch into the middle of the room and set up to paint.

Now, this branch is sizable. Even though I had draped plastic on the floor to catch any drips, the top of the branch stuck out over my bed. No worries, I told myself, this job will only take a short amount of time, and I only have to sacrifice one of my paintbrushes. A quick glop of paint down the core, and then hit anywhere the oozing paint won't reach. Right?

God, no!

There are four "Holes" in the hollow trunk. Places where a branch grew, but like all Manitoba Maple trees, they break off and then rot out.This particular trunk had four such places, and now that it was thoroughly cleaned and sanitized, it was like a straw.....

...with holes....

....why on Earth did I not see this coming?!

Turns out there was A CRACK in the wood on  the top knot. I found this out the hard way, as bright green paint oozed out of the gap and plopped on my bed........

......GAH! Like, I knew that if I took any hasty action there was a really good chance I would merely spread paint around the room. With visions of trying scrub rust paint off a wood floor dancing through my head, I made the brave choice to SIMPLY ALLOW THE PAIN TO DRY ON MY COMFORTER. There was nothing that could be done, really. Like, how would you even begin to wash that out? [Sighs] So now there's a huge green stain on my bed sheets, and there's nothing that can be done about it.

The project took much longer than I had anticipated. I not only had to throw away a paint brush, but I had to throw away a cleaning rag and got paint all over a towel and the really nice comforter that the Lawrence family gave me. Please don't tell Diane.....

April 17th
I told Diane. Better she find out from me, right? Long story short? She wasn't pleased.

Good morning, Dear Diary. The sun is shining, with temperatures expected to hit 13 degrees Celsius.

Easter Monday. Nothing is open, and the city looks like a ghost town. There's still lots of cars on the roads, but the buses are on holiday schedules and there's a distinct difference in the amount of commercial vehicles.

What did I do yesterday? Not much, apparently. After my night out with Cara I guess I needed to stay home in my pajamas all day. I did some writing, tidied up a bit, but not much else. In hindsight I probably should have gone to Church.

There's something I stopped doing after I moved in with Cara; going to Church regularly. Now that I'm back across town I really should get back into it.

Lots to say, but I'm still in a bit of a funk. This depression is evident in my reluctance to unpack. Only the essentials have been unpacked, and all my decorations and whatnot are still in boxes. I don't have plans to unpack them anytime soon, either. This room is too small, but that might be part of my own psychosis telling me that.... Don't worry.... Given time I'll adjust.

I should clean for a bit. That might put me in a bit of a better frame of mind. I know that cleaning leaves me with a sense of accomplishment, and in its own way helps heal the soul.

Have a great week.

April 19th
April showers bring May flowers, so they say. Perhaps they left out the part that we need sun for plants to grow..... Good morning, Dear Diary. It's another rainy day out there in London. The sun DID shine yesterday, making it two days in a row we didn't get any (Explicit) wet crap, but that was short-lived.

If I seem like a broken record this year when it comes to weather, don't blame me. It really has been that wet, and the problem with moisture when it's cold is that it tends to pool and linger. I keep saying that I feel badly for animals trying to survive in this constant wet environment; I imagine disease is really taking a toll this Spring. Don't believe that weather is responsible for animal mortality rates? Well, it is. Not only does prolonged wet conditions contribute to bronchial disorders and the spread of illnesses, but it also prevents eggs from hatching, or not being laid by a variety of birds. It floods burrows, either preventing small mammals from raising young, or forcing them to seek protection elsewhere. To make a long story, short, rain is necessary for growing flowers, but the sun is much more important for moral and health. So, "Rain, rain, go away"..... Don't come back.. For at least a few weeks...


...OK, so on to the rest of my day. Clean, write, etc. There, I just saved us both some time. Oh.. I know a way to save some time; a list.

- Hephestusamazilion, my iguana, is settled in. He's growing stronger everyday, and visibly bigger.
- The basking roost I built is finished, and allows the iguana to look out the window.
- The iguana doesn't give a flying (Explicit) about looking out the window, and prefers to sit in his enclosure like the institutionalized reptile that he is.
- I write about 3-9 pages a day, single spaced. This time doesn't include research, story boards, character development, spell-checking, fact-checking, or proof-reading.
- Haven't been debating much lately. I've reached a point in my life where I know that people are wrong, but I also know that regardless of how much proof of their fallacy I offer they will remain adamant in opinion and deeply-rooted in belief.... Humans.... So smart, but so dumb.
- The world is not "Beginning to fall apart". While it's true that many events on the planet are pretty radical, what with a global "War on terror", and the arms race between the two superpowers, USA and Russia coming out of the shadows of the cold war of the 1980's and being exposed all over the Internet, the fact remains our planet has always been "Falling apart". Admitted, we do have global climate change, plus swaths of illegal immigrants spilling unchecked into Europe and taking over better than an armed military. Oh, and we can't forget little Kimmy over in North Korea; he's so busy trying to delve the world into a cataclysmic nuclear war that it's forcing world leaders to consider every single option, including military ones. But! This all doesn't mean that the proverbial crap has hit the fan, I mean, the world has gone through some pretty horrific times before due to humans. History records all these instances, and for those that read and study history, or even the weapons used in these brutal and bloody occurrences, you'll find a pattern emerging of horrific times when the whole of humanity believed the world was about to end. The only difference between our history and today is the effect our weapons can do, but when you consider the fact that nuclear weapons are deterrents not battlefield weaponry, and couple it with the world-wide community and the power it holds, it's pretty safe to say you don't have to worry about building a bomb bunker... Yet.
- I seem to not understand the use of lists.

[Laughs] Well, I should do something useful. Hope you have a great day!

April 21st
Morning, Dear Diary. It's a cold, gloomy day with temperatures in the single digits. High winds, and rolling, thick, cloud cover comprise our entire day. If you think I'm making up this wet weather we're getting, think again. As someone who is forced to curtail each day based upon weather conditions, I'm much more aware of the conditions than someone who owns an air-conditioned weapon (Motor vehicle). But! If you honestly think I'm exaggerating, go check it out yourself. "The Weather Network" is a great source to reference from. Just to give you an idea of how wet things are, we received an entire month's worth of rain yesterday in the space of hours

While Hamilton is greatly effected due to its landscape and being part of the old Niagara escarpment, the thunderstorm that brought that destructive water hit us as well. We just happen to have a massive river flowing through the city to get rid of the excess water.... You should see the river... Fast, swollen, and muddy.....

.........meanwhile, I got nothing done yesterday. I offered to help my roommate move some stuff, and when I walked out of my room I left my keys behind. As the door behind me closed, I panicked as I realized I had locked myself out of my room. Ugh!

I was basically locked out of my room for the entire day. Poor iggy was all by himself for 12 hours. Don't get me wrong, Dear Diary, I TRIED to get into my room using the old butter-knife trick, but apparently this door is pick-proof. Normally I can get into those kinds of locks, but for some reason the two hours I spent trying proved to be a waste of time. The only way i managed to get in was through the window, and that took some serious Spiderman skills.

So, my plan for today is to crack the whip on my book and spend some time with my iguana. I do have to make a run to the store at some point in time......

...at least it's not going to rain. So says the weatherguy

BTW... I missed 420 yesterday. Not that it matters anymore. I also noticed a distinct lack of posts on social media, so I guess it's not just me that skipped the event this year. Makes sense since Canada is legalizing things, but that is a story unto its own.

Have a great weekend!

April 23rd
Holy sunbeam! The sun is out! It was sunny yesterday as well, but cold and high wind came with it. Today is gorgeous, with a bright glowing sky and very little wind. The birds are singing and the warm air smells fresh and clean.

I did hit the bike trails yesterday, taking advantage of the warmer weather. Everything is starting to green up. Tiny leaves are sprouting on all the trees, creating a wash of light green throughout the stark, bare branches. It's so lovely to see; real evidence of life returning after being dormant for months.

I've had my eye on a particular branch for about two weeks now. Each time I pass it on the bike trials I keep reminding myself of how awesome it would be cleaned up. It isn't rotted out, but it was forcibly stripped from the trunk by strong winds less than a month ago, which means I can legally (I think?) harvest the branch for my own use. My intention is the same as the first branch I installed in my room; a place for the iguana to climb and explore.* Well, yesterday afternoon my roommate, Brian, took his moving truck down to the Children's Museum parking lot and I hauled the branch out of the bush, up the bike trail a bit. It was fairly heavy, and I knew it would have been a struggle to walk the Kilometer or so with it down the sidewalk, not to mention the looks I get from people passing by. Brian's truck sure was alife-saver!

I tackled the branch with a scrub-brush and bleach water, and then rinsed it in the shower. (Made a hell of a mess that I had to clean up)

Using shelving brackets I secured the branch to the iguana's enclosure, right beside the little portal I cut a short while ago. Now when he goes out the door on the top level of his enclosure there is a branch that goes all the way up the ceiling. Once again, I didn't put any holes in the wall.

It was fun to build, and it looks really neat! Next up is a few fake plants, but that'll have to wait until I get a couple of bucks to spare.

*Stimulus for living creatures is extremely important. Scientists have done studies to determine what happens when a living creature is raised in isolation, and the findings are downright scary! From neurological issues to plain co-dependency, being isolated and without stimulus is harmful, stressful, and severely cripples the ability to learn and adapt, regardless of species. In an effort to provide stimulus for Hephestusamazilion I have crafted climbing branches, set up a radio and hooked it up to his light's timer, and used fake greenery to add colour and texture to his enclosure. The goal behind all this effort isn't just a really cool-looking work-space for me, but also to give my iguana a place to do what he does in the wild - Climb, move, swim, bask, and watch the world around him. It keeps him fit, and allows his curiosity the opportunity of something to do.

So.......... I have some news. Yesterday morning I awoke to a text message from Cara on my phone, asking if I wanted to go camping. I texted her back to let her know that I didn't feel like spending the night on the cold ground with no bathroom facilities. At least, not in this weather, right? Like, let it warm up a bit before we decide to spend overnight outside. Well, as you can imagine, she was upset that I didn't abandon all my weekend plans plus the responsibility of an iguana, to run off to parts unknown to spend a night with her. Like, REALLY mad. Before I knew it, the insults started, and then she even said, "I'm ok to break with you". What this means is, if I don't do as she wanted, that she would just break off our relationship.

Like.... What the actual fuck?

Now, I'm not some innocent bystander in all this. I mean, I have been in fights before and thrown a wedding band across the room during an extremely pitched argument. The threat of breaking off a relationship, be it marriage, an engagement, or even just a steady lover, is one that sadly most people are guilty of in certain circumstances. Usually it's done when the frustration levels are so intense that clear, cognitive thought is night impossible due to raging emotions, but in the case where I was being threatened by a break-up there was no intense levels of emotion. It was said in a cold, deliberate manner, and I'm not certain if it was a guilt trip, a power trip, or just blind co-dependency..... But, enough is enough.

I told her I wasn't going, and in the space of three text messages I was made aware that I was now single and that she was going to find someone else to get what she wanted. So.... Yea.... Done. Finito. Caput. Doneskii.

How do I feel about this? [Shrugs] I saw it coming. I believed it was only a matter of time. As for "What now?", let me tell you that I have zero interest at the moment of becoming romantically involved with anyone. I'm feeling better that I'll now have more time to dedicate to my work, but it's quite bittersweet. The reason I'm writing the current novel was for Cara.... But don't worry, Dear Diary, I fully intend to finish this book, because it's that damned good. My story about Yule not only explains Norse history and mythology, but it also gives the readers an important moral lesson, as well as, entertainment.

Well... I should make like a tree, and leaf..... Hmm.. That joke seems to lose something when written down. When spoken aloud, it gives the listener the distinction impression of hearing "Leave", but when written there is no room for such interpretation. It just seems dumb. Like, am I going to start sprouting green leaves on my skin? (Frik, hope not) The saying doesn't work when written.... making like a tree and leaf..... Hmmm... How about, off like a terd of hurtles? (Spoonerism) No good? What about, make like a jet plane and fuck off......?

That works.... Have a good one.

April 24th
Another day of sunshine. What the heck shall we do? The temps are still in the single digits, but at least we've got life-giving sun.

Good morning, Dear Diary. It's Monday morning. It's that time of the month when my funds run out and I'm without proper food and medication.

Had a hell of a time falling asleep last night. My mind can't wrap itself around the circumstances of the weekend. I still feel helpless and frustrated, and even now I still wake up expecting to roll over in bed and find a warm body beside me.

But, that time came and went.

I'm worried that this might be it for me; with a jaded outlook at the opposite sex, I'm not certain if I ever want to be involved again. In my experience women are physically abusive, emotionally exhaustive, and have a nasty habit of tearing out my heart. It's not just me, either... I've watched how other couples are subject to the exact same problems; a society where the man is considered the aggressor and the woman playing to Canadian courts and programs all designed to favour the female. All over the country it is acceptable for a woman to hit a man, but it's a crime for a man to hit a woman. Problems in the relationship? The courts will cater to the woman, as do the Police. This sexist mindset oozes its way into our relationships and the evidence is a brazen, one-sided argument, with mothers frequently using children as ammunition to hurt the father. Do I want to subject myself to this kind of pain? Not right now, that's for certain....

......I give it a couple of months before I even think about being intimate with someone. Can't imagine being in such a precarious position. (Oh, come on. That was punny)

So, I'm a little bitter this morning. I woke up alone after having a hard time sleeping. My roommate that I barely see, decided to come home last night at 8 pm, wait a couple hours, then decide to start making a bunch of noise in the kitchen complete with his phone on speaker mode. This is the same roommate that thinks nothing of walking through the house with his shoes on after I've spent an hour mopping the floor. No meds, and barely any food left in the cupboards, and I've got a double sucker-punch in the guts.....

........at least the sun is shining.

April 27th
Good afternoon. The temperature is in the mid-twenties, and the sun is shining. Today marks the first warm day of the year. (What I consider warm)

With the sun shining and the air warm enough to not shock my tropical lizard, I took Hephestusamazilion for a walk. He really enjoyed it at first, but quickly wanted down. Now, I just trimmed his nails a couple of days ago, but with him squirming and trying to alligator-roll on me, my arms started to get scratched up. While most herpers wear their scale-baby marks with pride, I didn't feel he was benefiting any longer from being outside, so I took him back in. Oh, well... Baby steps. The fact that I was working with him today for as long as I did helps to develop a bond for us, so after wrestling with him outside I made certain to spend a bit of time petting and making certain he was blissed.

I so wanted to put him down and let the warm, green grass tickle his scaled belly. Not that he can really feel it through his thick scale plating, but he does like to take his time and check things out. Much like a human baby explores the world with their mouth because it's the most developed and sensitive part of their body, scale-babies and human babies share the characteristic of sticking their tongues on everything to "feel". Heffy explores the world one tongue lick at a time, and while he's not like a snake, whereas they have pits in their mouth for their tongue to flick into to help "smell" the world around them. called the "Jacobson's organ", iguanas have a wide, blunt, forked tongue that functions somewhat the same. It still acts like a fingertip when it comes to touch, allowing the iguana to feel his way around, but he also tastes the world around him, as well as, smell with his olfactory senses that have evolved for millions of years. [Shrugs] Don't look at me. I'm not the one licking the floor, but I do make certain it's as clean as possible] ANYWAY...... I NEED to get the little fella a "Kitten harness" and leash so I can take him for walks just like I did back in the day with my first iggy. The biggest difference between now and then would have to be the climate; North-Western Ontario had a much shorter, colder Summer than Southern Ontario does. I don't think I would have dared take my old iguana outside at the end of April, for example, having to wait until the end of June. Back on track, what the harness does is strap across his belly, as well as, across his front legs, and then allowing the owner to clip on the leash at the top. That way the iguana is secure, but there's no way it can hurt it if there's a tug on the leash for any reason.. I think this time I'll try and find one of those leashes that extend... One thing I do remember about walking my old iguana was always having to be right at Cyaniaragonamazilion's side the whole time, and it threw him off a little... He was always looking up at me, like, "What?! I'm walking here. Do you mind?"..... We'll see. Maybe someone has one they aren't using, or I can find such items at a thrift store. Brand new they are fairly costly.

So, yea. An afternoon entry, but the sun was so wonderful and I wasn't feeling too crappy (Oh, come on.. That was funny), So I forgo most of the stuff I do in the morning , like write my diary entry, and instead took advantage of my fair health and the sunshine.

And...Just like that.... A massive rainstorm just rolled in. About 20 minutes ago I noticed the sun had disappeared, but didn't give it much thought. That's why the sun went away... Buckets and buckets of rain just hit us like a wall.... It's petered out now, but was it ever coming coming down at the start!

Enough about the weather.

Since it's going to... K... I won't say it... [Coughs] Since my afternoon looks like it will be best spend indoors, I believe that I shall clean and see if I'm inspired enough to write. After a couple days off, perhaps now is the time to broach the next chapter in my book.....

....I'm at a cross-roads, and I'm not certain if I want to give everything away to the readers, or give it another chapter or two before exposing everything.... Hmmm. Since I put it that way.. I think I'll make the readers wait a bit.. Keep them in suspense, so to speak.

Well, should get at 'er. Hope your didn't get caught in that sudden downpour while being outside and enjoying the sun.

Crap. I just went and mentioned the weather, didn't I? Sorry, eh?

Have a good one.

April 28th
It's the end of the month, and that means finally stocking up on the essentials. Yay! Good morning, Dear Diary. It's chilly, but sunny. The forecast calls for scattered showered tonight, but at least I'll be able to do some running around once I'm done my routine.

Speaking of complaining about the weather, I couldn't help but notice an influx of people from North-Western Ontario mentioning the cold and SNOW they're getting right now. [Shivers] I can't even begin to think about the white crap, because while it may have been gloomy and damp for the last month or so, the temperatures have at least been above freezing. The grass is growing to the extent people are beginning to cut their lawns, and the flowers have been out in force for about a couple of weeks now. To hear that people from my hometown are receiving snow makes me realize just how different the climate is where I grew up. Just hope I'm not kicking myself in the karma to giggle a little bit at their expense.

We got new neighbours upstairs. They look like students by their ages, and they are all heavy heel-walkers. Last night they were moving stuff around until well past midnight, and while I understand that there's an adrenaline rush when you move and all anyone wants to do is arrange things to the point of being comfortable, I just hope these 20ish-olds realize that there are other people in the house.

Yup. I'm back to where I was a year ago... Having to contend with people who are less mindful of others, and lack the upbringing and respect needed for close-quarter accommodations.

A whole generation that thinks nothing of using a speaker-phone while in the company of others. Walk around in the house with exterior shoes on their feet. Don't maintain a mantra of 9 AM to 9 PM*... And you can't correct their sensitive-ass either, as any attempt to redirect them or educate them in morals and manners is met with severe resistance. Why? It's simple; they have had a whole childhood of being catered to, and the lessons they learned back then tell them to rebuke authority if their feelings get hurt,

*No excessive noise before 9 in the morning, and after 9 at night.

The fact remains, this isn't an apartment. It's shared living, and I have people living below me just like there are people now living above me. I feel slighted that I'm tiptoeing around in rubber-soled indoor shoes with headphones on, while everyone else has their outdoor shoes on with their cell phone speakers barking loudly. Why am I so conscientious of all this, while it doesn't seem to be an issue to these other individuals......... And I couldn't figure it out until I examined EVERYTHING, and realize it's the age gap. There ARE other people my age and older living here, and they do the exact same things I do, as well as, maintain the same adage of "Daytime hours" and levels of respect.

So, there IS an inherent problem with this entitled generation; they're rude, and insensitive. Not to mention they cannot be told a damn thing......

...and get off the damned lawn ya bunch of whippersnappers!

Suddenly, I feel old. Just hope things settle down, and these new neighbours come to understand the way things are supposed to be.

Tons to do and less time to do it in, as they say. Hope you have a great weekend!

May 2nd
It's afternoon as I pen this entry. A few days have passed since I last took it upon myself to write. Quite a few things have happened in this time, and I'll try my best to recall all the events.

Friday was spent running around, making phone calls, and shopping. I paid my rent, the phone bill, and purchased medication. That evening I was asked to go to Cara's house to help her trim her iguana's claws.....

.....With medication I am able to do many things I normal could not, like sports, rollerblading, or biking. Needless to say, I was feeling no pain as I biked across town to go help her with her iguana.

We decided to share a few drinks, talk, and I trimmed her iguana's nails. I did have it in my mind that I was probably going to stay the night, but after a couple of hours the conversation strayed into topics that resulted in an argument.....

....I decided to leave. I had only biked about two blocks away when I discovered to my horror that I had left two compartments in my backpack unzipped in my hurry to leave.... AND MY WALLET WAS GONE! Not to mention a brand new, leather, tablet cover, as well as, some pens, and [Thinks] whatever else I normally stored in that front compartment. Immediately I hit the brakes, and with all the rain we've been getting, skidded off the sidewalk and into the ditch.

It was dark. The ditch was steep and rolled out into a large park with long, uncut grass. A slick pool of water lay over the ground, and as my tires shot out from underneath me. I ended up laying on the ground, straddled around my prone bike.

My earplugs had come dislodged in the tumble, and I saw the scattered remnants of my packback laying unceremoniously in a trail strewn behind me.

In utter disbelief I started gathering my stuff. It was dark, and I couldn't remember what was in my backpack. I hadn't lost my good phone, thank God, so I used it as a flashlight to clean up the mess. Knowing my wallet and tablet case was missing, I decided to backtrack to find them.

I had gone a block when I decided to plug in my headphones, and it was at that time that I DISCOVERED I HAD LOST MY PURPLE CELL PHONE!! It had a cracked screen and couldn't make phone calls, but it has been my radio for the last two years! In utter dismay I hurried back to the spot where I had went off the sidewalk and into the ditch.

I could not for the life of me find that phone. Like... ARGH!! Knowing I still had to find my wallet, and considering that's a bigger priority, I walked away from the scene of the crash, knowing I had probably just lost my phone forever.

Did. Not. Find. My. Wallet.

I ended up meekly knocking on Cara's door, and got a chance to look around the place for my missing things, just in case I had left them there... Nope. A few minutes later we were rehashing our argument that lead to me leaving, and a new argument ensured. Needless to say, I left.

Drove home in silence. You know that silence.... The kind where you have lost your radio, but more importantly, your wallet and all your identification with it? Yea.. That silence.

Saturday I awoke to the knowledge of what had all transpired, and my guts rolled from the added stress. I knew in the pit of my stomach that I would have to wait a couple of days before could even start the process of trying to get everything back. That bugged me, and I felt even more helpless. I wanted so badly to go back across town to the scene of the accident, but it was raining hard. I knew that my wallet would have been scooped up quick, though anyone finding it would have just got my ID and a bank card that was cancelled within an hour of me realizing it was missing. My stuff is now probably just in the trash.

I did, however, search Kajiji, and continue to check it daily. Who knows? Things might get returned... But until then I am proceeding on the basis that my stuff isn't coming back.

On Saturday night Cara decided to come over to my place. Without going into too much detail about that, we both had a good time.

Had a late start to Sunday morning, and I spent much of the rest of the day trying to sort through the details of all the things I now had to do because of one blunder. At was at this time that I discovered one of my children were in the hospital, so I did my best through social media chatting to keep them company.

I feel upset I'm not there in person, and this guilt simply added to the pile of things going through my head.

I woke up at 3 AM on Monday morning. My mind and my abdomen were both doing flipflops.

This was a moment where I really feel the oppression of living with other people. Wide awake at 3 in the morning, and tip-toeing around for 4 hours... Got nothing done, but sat catatonically while watching videos online. I didn't bother to try and crawl back in bed.... What was the use, right?

On Monday morning, Diane came and picked me up to help me get some of the bigger things I couldn't carry on a bike. Thank goodness for her.... The time spent was one where I poured my heart out and she was judgmental and brutally honest like a best friend should be. Oh, yea. We also grabbed a couple armloads of essentials, like bathroom tissue, and coffee. When our brief stint to the store was over and she left, I felt a little better about my predicament.

Monday afternoon was spent running around trying to get to appointments on time, and riding the bus. By the evening I was burned out from having to take so much painkillers to simply get through the day, as well as, lack of sleep. I went to bed earlyish, and actually managed to sleep for most of the night.

Which brings me to today. I've made phone calls, and already ran uptown for an appointment. There's still so much to do, but much of it is a waiting game...... So, here I am, Dear Diary. Finally got a chance to write in you, and I felt it was time to catch you up on everything.

Besides my grief about my wallet and kid, I haven't alluded to my emotional state from the whole weekend. While I can't tell you everything,I will admit this..... I had a few panic attacks on Sunday and Monday. I haven't got much done in the way of writing, and I feel like I am just going through a daily routine for the sake of going through a daily routine. I'm quite worried about the future, as well as, my own future. I'm upset over having to eventually replace my treasured purple-cased cell phone, but that's probably because it was the first one I ever had when I came to London.

I really need to clean things up. Not just my room, but my soul needs some uncluttering. There's quite a bit of upset recently, and I need to sort things out..... But I can at least start with my room.

Talk soon,

Oh, and it rained again today. Quelle surprise......

May 3rd
Good morning, Dear Diary. The sun is shining, but the air is chilly. The temps are barely going to hit 10 degrees, with clouds expected to roll in later this afternoon. This is why people end up with seasonal depression.....

......more headaches and stress this morning. Just found out I don't qualify for any programs to help with my medication costs. Toss that into the mix of all the things I need to address.

I found out that I also lost my "Virtual Credit Card" when I went to make a purchase yesterday. In a panic, I phoned up the bank and had them issue a stop on my old card and reissue me a new one. It's now going to take 7-10 business days until I get my new one.... Ugh.

I need to start thinking positively. If you haven't figured out that I'm depressed, I am...... And I sometimes wonder if that's not my fault. I keep wondering, "What's next?", and right on cue, something "Else" happens. I keep telling others that what they think becomes reality, so you would think I would be an old-pro on the topic... Nope! Human, just like the rest of the 7 billion others clinging to this small planet we call home. When I get into a slump, things tend to manifest itself.....

....which is the founding principle of "The Law of Attraction". Best defined as, "Like begets like", whereas my depression is creating negative energy and sending it out into the world. In return, the planet is sending me back negativity.

So... Yea, I'm an idiot  that lost his wallet, and my life is not what I expected at the moment. Time to pull my shoulders back, stick my chest out and soldier forward....... Start thinking about all the positive things that are going to happen, and stop focusing on the negative AS IF it defines my character or personality.

Tough times will come. Remember, this is not a definition of character, but rather, it's how you handle the situation that counts.

Happy thoughts... Happy thoughts.... [Snaps his fingers] OH! I know! Diane signed me up for the upcoming London Airshow in September.... So, not only do I get to volunteer my time toward a great cause, but I get to work with my bestie. [Thinks] What else? Oh. Hephestusamazilion is growing more personable and bonding with me. He likes cuddles now, and even digs his little face under my chin sometimes when I hold him. Hehehe,.. He scared me the other night... Was just drifting off, and WHAM! Little guy went for a stroll at lights out to jump from his branch over-hanging my bed, and landed right beside my head. When I started petting him, he "Blissed" out like iguanas do when they are happy. I quickly picked him up and put him in bed beside me with some covers, but after 5 minutes he grew bored and started wandering all over the bed, so I put him back in his enclosure. So.. my scale-baby is growing fond of me and seeking attention, so that's good. Hmmm.. What else? I'm supposed to see Cara in the next couple days....

....Hmm.. The thing is, I'm so damned busy with my new life. I've been helping my new roommate with some restoration projects, trying to get to all my appointments, writing, and so much else, it's hard to find time go across the city and just "Hang out". When you factor in the length of travel time of 40+ minutes one-way, and the fact I need to be home in the morning to deal with my health issues, as well as, my iguana, it makes it difficult to stay overnight. Granted, I'm sure the iguana will survive one or two mornings without me, but because I need about 3 hours to get through my routine it means a very late start the next morning. So, a trip across town for an overnight stay has to be planned at a time when I can afford to play "Catch-up" the following afternoon. Not to mention all the questions from my new roommates who are curious as to why I left in the afternoon and didn't get home until noon the next day. (Which is annoying, but if I want to continue to stay in everyone's good books I have to be sociable) Hmmmm....... This doesn't sound all that positive.....

...happy thoughts. Happy thoughts.

I've started doing paper mache again, and even started a new dragon head. (The problem with this, is that I haven't killed any dragons in my dreams lately, hence no need to mount it's head - Much like a person that kills any trophy animal and has it stuffed, I usually only build one when inspired) Not sure what colour or shape it's going to be yet, but at least the framework (Boring parts) is starting. While I have a painting on the wall, I'm not yet inspired enough to tackle that, but it's there.

What else?

It's been a couple days since I last wrote. The psychological effects of losing my stuff on the weekend has really shook me. Getting everything back isn't just annoying, but takes time. I've got a few phone calls I'm waiting on, most notably a counselor, and my medical marijuana supplier, which sucks..... Oh noes! Negativity..... Damn it, eh? Just can't shake it.

Apparently, this "Law of Attraction" is going to take some practice. I'm going to go... practice.... Talk soon, eh?

May 5th
I went to Cara's house yesterday. Left the house at 1 PM and didn't get home until about 11 AM this morning. Almost 22 hours in total.

There is a major disaster unfolding in Southern Ontario and Southern Quebec due to the excess levels of rain we've received. For the third day in a row the wet crap has been coming down steadily, and this is after a month where we've received 2 TIMES the average amount of rainfall. So, if I'm complaining about the weather there's a good reason..... But at least we're not flooding like some major cities located near the Great Lakes

Not getting anything done today. I spent two hours trying to get to a point where I could go home, but since then I haven't stopped cramping and having to go to the bathroom. Almost didn't make it to the bathroom once.

I'm going to make this a short entry. I need to get caught up on things around the house. Hope you have a great weekend.

May 6th
Cold, damp, with heavy cloud cover. The extremely-slow moving storm that flooded anyone close to Lake Ontario and the St Lawrence river, is now heading toward the Eastern coast of Canada. All the people there can do is brace themselves for flooding.

It could stop raining any day now. Everyone is getting seasonal depression. Billions of dollars of damage are happening across great swaths of Southern and Eastern Canada.....

....but forecasters claim this "Stalled jet-stream" is what happens in the changing climate. The irony here, is that due to human's consumption of fossil fuels to create a lifestyle, the climate is now going to force humans to rethink the way they live.

From houses to power distribution, our way of life and the way we distribute resources need to change. Instead of fancy-looking homes, they will need to become storm shelters; with more emphasis on surviving disasters than aesthetics. Electricity always fails during a storm, and the reason is because there are exposed wires on poles. That's it! Wires on poles. Like, I get that a hundred years ago this was the only real way for scientists to conduct experiments and set up functioning power "Grids", but we've had over a century to change things, and yet, no changes have been made. The change that nature will force upon us, is to rethink the "Grid" system and start focusing on energy sources produced by the house itself, and interconnected to the houses nearby. That way when things get bad and there is a break in the power distribution system, only a minor few are affected, if at all. These are only a couple of things that will need to change in the next decade of so, and it's going to be interesting to watch the transformation.

Oh, sure. There's going to be some humans that refuse to give up their way of life, but the catalyst for change in those cases will be the insurance companies. Once they stop issuing flood / storm damage policies, you'll see people actually leaving zones that are considered risky by insurers. Things will change, but being as we're talking about humans, this will take a long time.

Will we change in time? Not likely. We passed the mark of 400 PPM CO2 a while ago with little to no fanfare, and instead of taking the threat of human-caused climate change with the seriousness it deserves, countries all over the world are pressing forward with the development of coal extraction and a world powered by fossil fuels. "The global concentration of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere – the primary driver of recent climate change – has reached 400 parts per million (ppm) for the first time in recorded history, according to data from the Mauna Loa Observatory in Hawaii."

So, I guess I'm going to have to knuckle-down and buy myself a pair of rubber boots and a rain jacket. I wonder if I can find a bright yellow jacket with matching boots.

More paper mache last night. I'm working on painting the frame of a mirror, and I stretched a new canvass over an actual frame (Like, seriously - A frame) I think I might be on to something here with the frame thing.... We'll see how it goes.

I dreamed about the dragon I'm building. Hunted it down and killed it is more like it, which is basically what I needed.... I needed a dragon, and lo and behold! My dreams provide me with the inspiration. Want to hear about the dragon I killed so that I could mount its head? A MASSIVE, old, red wyrmm with craggy scales and scars.It wasn't pretty, but the detail involved will be impressive.... So, looks like I have my work cut out for me.

Hephestusamazilion is doing well. He likes to explore now, and I often catch him leaving the enclosure to hang out on the branches I crafted for him, or walk out the open door to check out the rest of the house.

I've got a few things to do today. I plan on continuing to craft, and I should take a crack at writing. Hope you are staying high and dry, and I can only hope that for those who are affected by the floodwaters across Canada find safety during this troubling time.

May 8th
The sun is shining for the second day in a row. Although it looks beautiful out, the air is quite cooler than you would think it should be. I imagine this is the "Lake effect" of cooler air being drawn up from the Great Lakes as the jet stream pushes everything across Canada from West to East.

I FINALLY managed to find something I've been looking for. Three(ish) weeks ago when the prospect of warmer weather was beginning to present itself, I realized that I needed to get Hephestusamazilion a body harness so I could take him outside. I looked at all sorts of various stores, without actually going to a pet store (I assumed pet store items would be dramatically over-priced) but while many places sold collars and leashes, there was no "Kitten harness" available. Well, when I was out with my roommate yesterday, we stumbled on a rare find - the LAST kitten harness on the shelf at a WalMart Superstore!

It's blue. Adjustable, so I can change the harness to fit my scale-baby's growing body. Most importantly, it's sturdy and light-weight. What this means, is that I can now securely take my curious little iggy for walks on hot days. Yay!! I'm super excited to see how he will react! When I got home I tried the body harness on the little fella, and it worked! It needs a little bit of adjusting, but once it was on he seemed to forget he was wearing it.

I can just see him sprinting across the open field toward a towering tree in the park, only to realize he can't properly climb it because his human owner keeps trimming his nails.... And that there's a leash.... Oh, if his wild cousins could see him.........

....they would probably be jealous. OK, maybe not.... Because, while a life of pampering and not worrying about getting eaten by all mannerisms of creatures sounds pretty good, the little lizard still has to put up with humans.

Yesterday was busy! I am working on about three or more projects, and from late-afternoon until Midnight I crafted my butt off. A dragon head, a horned lizard-man busting out of the wall, a table, and a mirror make up a few of the things I'm working on.

The goal for today is more of the same; keep plugging away at these projects and cleaning as I go. I'm in good spirits, a firm relationship with my landlord, and in a decent situation with my current roommates. Life is OK for the moment, and although I still wish things were different, I am comfortable.

Spoke my daughter yesterday. I really miss my kidlets LOTS! They are, however, growing fast and doing their own thing. I know that the last thing I wanted to do at their age was cling to my parents. What I find so interesting is how different children are, even those raised in the same home. This is evident in my children, as well as, my family growing up. Anywho, there's talk of possibly having my daughter come see me, or even entertain the idea of getting out of the small-town I left three years ago.

Should people leave their hometown? Well, the answer is different for everyone. Some may prosper, while others may stagnate. The idea of leaving everything you know and love is scary, but when weighed against the opportunities of somewhere else, the chance at a better life should always dominate the equation. For some people, however, leaving isn't always an option, and while it's a good exercise for the mind to weigh the pros and cons of leaving everything behind and moving forward with your life, there are some individuals who cannot bring themselves to do so. It's different for each one of us, therefore, in the end it comes down to what you want out of life. Are you content to a life of mediocrity and limitation? Or do you desire change, even at the cost of losing material possessions and leaving loved ones behind? I fought this battle three years ago, and I knew in my heart that I had to move..... I cannot imagine where I would be today if Diane hadn't afforded me the opportunity to get out of the suppression that surrounded me back in Fort Frances! Since that fateful day, I have had my life changed entirely.....

.......so, I guess if I had to give anyone advice on what they should do, I would simply offer this; be yourself, follow your heart, and always reach for your dreams.

Have a great week!

May 9th
The forecast is calling for sun today, but temperatures are only going to hit 12 degrees. Tomorrow it's supposed to start clouding up, and by the mid-week and into the weekend we're expecting rain. Sounds like a broken record. Like, enough with the cold, wet shit.

But! The sun IS shining today. So, my plans today include a trip across town to go and have supper with Cara. Depending on how I feel I'll either bike it or take the bus. Having a bike means I can also leave when I want to if things go badly.... Which, it can.....

.....So, that means I have to clean up my room, make certain everything is iguana-proof, and abandon any plans to write, paint, or craft. I'll be leaving about 1 pm as I have a couple of stops along the way, and I probably won't be back until much later tonight, if not tomorrow morning.

And, it's not like I'll be doing anything. When you go to visit someone it means you are doing exactly that; visiting. Like some sort of decoration, I'll be sitting on the couch while Cara goes about her normal household routine.(Kidlet, supper, etc) NB: I don't like just "hanging out" at someone else's house..... Never have.

France just voted, and elected a spineless, weak, centralist politician. With all the major issues they have right now, this was a major mistake. You can be certain that within a decade the damage will be irreversible, as France will be stripped of its Nationality in favour of being politically correct. What they failed to realize (and spurred on by media measuring politics in a vacuum) is that by ignoring the growing dangers caused by the current problems plaguing Europe, the French people have voted to have their country systematically torn down, piece by piece, caused by political correctness spewed in the name of humanitarianism. .....

.......Welcome to the French Islamic Republic. Don't scoff! If you don't think this is possible, think again. It's proven history that this is how country's change... One nation moving into another and refusing to integrate themselves into the culture has ALWAYS degraded the host country's nationality. I mean, the landscape stays the same, but the population changes to reflect the changing attitudes. I personally predict 5 years of terrorism run amok in France, with each one targeting the hearts and minds of the citizens of France. The casualties don't matter in their endevours to change the political landscape, with the only goal being political change. The phrase, "Give someone an inch, and they'll take a mile", applies quite aptly in this case, and you can bet your entire fortune on the fact that the illegal immigrants pouring out of the Middle East will use any means necessary to ensure a foothold in France's Parliament. I understand it is for protectionism that any group would want to be represented in the country's government, however, it should be also understood that in this case, it's a matter of personal motivations......

...don't take my word for it. Go do your own research. I'm weary of arm-chair experts calling me names due to my knowledge on the topic of illegal immigration, and how the destabilization of the Middle East was caused by exterior influence, namely the United States. I am disheartened by the fact that those men fleeing the war didn't stay and fight, but I also realize that many of those economic migrants flooding Europe are doing so to set up splinter cells for their varied organizations. When you research the topic, be certain to look up the word, "Taqiyya", and then look at the graphs showing birth rates. After that, read a few articles about how Islam promotes building facilities within other countries, as well as, entering government. You'll have to push past the fear-mongering and the propaganda. Avoid reading anything with the word "Islamiphobia" in it, as that's a made-up word for the use of shaming anyone resisting the Islamic agenda.

Let me be clear. Islam is not a religion nor it is racial; it's an institution to govern. Being opposed to religious practice is not bigotry; Christians condemn Christians, Muslims condemn Muslims. To realize that any organization or religious entity is corrupt and immoral is not bigotry nor xenophobia; it's an educated, moral judgement. One of the biggest mistakes to come out of this decade in terms of political correctness, besides the invented word "Islamophobia", as well as, the media purposely calling the migrants "Refugees", instead of "Economic Migrants", is to allow the continued argument that religion is somehow racial. I'll say that again in case you missed it; the biggest mistake this generation is making, is affiliating religion with race.

There is only one race; the HUMAN RACE.

I don't judge people on the colour of their skin of body features, I judge them on how they conduct themselves. 

To wrap up this rant, let me conclude that France made a mistake and their children are going to pay. France will become a soft-spot in Europe for economic migrants who have an agenda to change the country. Since they are deciding to remain in the European Union, the President-Elect, Macron, will become a puppet for the French government and the EU.... With all of the major decisions being decided in the bedroom by his pedophile wife. (You can't make up this shit)

Am I being cynical today? I prefer the word facetious.....

......So, I'm heading across town today. Guess I better jump in the shower and start getting ready.

Back, and I just reread my diary entry before posting it. I've come to the conclusion that I cannot be jesting about the facts I've presented, because they are, well... Facts. Illegal immigration is not a joke, and neither is the vacuum in the Middle East caused by external forces. The fact that Macron's wife is 24 years older than him isn't a problem, but the fact she was having sex with him when she was his drama teacher, is; can you imagine the backlash that would have had if the teacher was male having sex with an underage girl? So, sadly I cannot be facetious, because everything I'm attempting to mock is actually true. I guess I'm just cynical today.

On that note, I should jet. I'm feeling pretty decent, and I have a bit of meds... Biking sounds like fun.

OH! A big shout-out to my Russian readers! Once again you have topped the scales for the amount of visits for the week. I can trace back what people are reading, not only just what country they are from, and it turns out that my diary is the most visited article, followed closely by my Jell-O Shooter article. While Canada does top the list most of the time, when Russian readers do so they do it in droves, far surpassing the other countries. A BIG thank you to all my readers, and I hope you will continue to send me letters and continue to share my stories.

Have a great day!

May 10th
Back from Cara's. I had a good time, and it was nice to spend time with her and the kidlet.

It's afternoon as I pen this; I had a rough start to my day. While the bike-ride to her apartment yesterday was enjoyable, the ride home this moring was hell. Every bump was painful, not to mention almost getting sideswiped by some car, and another one blaring its horn because I was in a bike lane. I hate motor vehicle operator's arrogance; it's like they think they own the road, and anything that potentially slows them down is a nuisance... Even though pedestrians have the right of way.

Cloudy. Windy. Chilly.

I have a ton of things to do today. I better get at it. Talk soon.

May 11th
The sun DID manage to come out in the late afternoon, and I took the opportunity to go outside and clean up a bit. Today is partly cloudy, with temperatures in the lower double-digits. The sky looks like it wants to rain, but so far we've been spared.

Good morning, Dear Diary. It's Thursday.

Plans for today include cleaning the bathrooms and floors, as well as, my room and the iggy enclosure. I'm going to write for a couple of hours and see where that lands me, but I have a couple of other projects I'd like to keep working on, namely the paper mache pieces I'm currently crafting.

I spent some time yesterday thinking about my journey home. Was it because of my foul mood that other people acted negatively toward me? Was this again proving how the "Law of Attraction" works? Or, was it simply a matter of other people having "A bad day"? It's entirely possible I gave too much thought to the whole scenario, wondering if there was something I could have done differently, but I do know one thing for certain; I WAS in a bad mood.

The moment my eyes opened up and I realized where I was, I also realized that I had to bike home. In that momentary lapse of half-awake / half-asleep, I may have inadvertently mistaken something Cara had said. Or said something myself... I don't know... But I do know that for some reason I was left frustrated. Once frustrated, I probably started kicking out negativity like rays of light from the sun. My point is, regardless of what happened, I now realize that my negativity was a choice, albeit a subconscious one. I COULD have rolled out of bed with a smile and a heartfelt stretch, happy to be given another day, but let's face facts.....

......I am NOT a morning person.

Each day for me is like a rock rolling down a hill; I start out very slowly. Soon, however, I pick up momentum, and even when I hit the base of the hill I keep going for quite some distance. The only difference between me and a rock, is that rocks don't require caffeine to get them rolling.

Well, frik me! It's afternoon already. I've been up for a few hours now, and haven't accomplished all that much. Guess I better get my butt in gear.

Oh. Not sure why, but Russia just added another couple hundred views yesterday. Nearly every single one was checking out my diary. More specifically, this chapter. The tools my blog uses allows me to see not only what article people are reading, but what operating system they are using and on what device.... Not just the country. It's pretty interesting, I'd say.

Well, I should go and write. The sun is coming out a bit, so that brightens my day......

....oh, come on... That was funny.

Have a good one.

May 12th
Good morning, Dear Diary! I awoke to birds singing and the sun starting to shine through my window. It's supposed to cloud up a bit, but tonight's forecast calls for a campfire in the backyard. You know what I heard? Next week is supposed to be almost 30 degrees Celsius! You know what that means? I'll be able to take Hephestusamazilion outside for a walk! Woohoo!

But, yea. The plan for tonight is to wait until the wind dies down, and then use my roommate's small fire pit to burn some of the branches and wood I've cleaned up around the yard. Sounds like a good time to me! I'm thinking of getting some hotdogs and maybe even a few beer. Probably should invite my roommate that owns the metal firepit while I think of it.....

........Did I forget to tell you that I have permission from the landlord to do yard work? Sorry, Dear Diary! A couple of days ago I couldn't help but notice the grass really needed to be cut, and I texted the landlord asking for permission to remedy the situation. By the time I had finished communicating with the new owner it was decided that I am now in charge of keeping the lawn mowed, the gardens weeded, and the yard cleaned. What do I get in return? Well, besides the chance to be able to do yard work (Which I find enjoyable) and the opportunities that come with organizing the backyard (EG: Tonight's fire), as well as, having the permission to be able to do so........ I GET TO TAKE POSSESSION OF A SMALL STORAGE SHED IN THE BACKYARD, FOR FREE!!

It's metal. Maybe 2 M by 2 M.... Wood floor. From the look if it, probably rain-proof. I already have a lock for it....... [Laughs] As I sit here, I'm left with, "What now?"

Never owned a storage shed since I moved to London. Back home in North-Western Ontario I had several small sheds at "Spirit Fire Park", and used them frequently to store my tools and such..... Well, I do need a lawnmower, and a gas can. And, now I have the shed to store it in. How convenient, eh?

I had to borrow the nieghbour's lawnmower to cut the  lawn. There's not much to cut, really. Compared to what I used to mow back in the day, this is nothing! Just medicate, and off I go.

Clean up, sweep up, and trim the grass along the walk with a skinning knife....

....Yea. Didn't REALLY think much of the fact I was lopping off the hard-to-get-to grass around the house with a large knife, until I heard my neighbour behind me remark, "Wow! That's one way to do it!"

I turned around a bit confused, to see his expression of curiosity and concern. "Umm", I mumbled, "Yea. It's faster than shears".

"I see that. You're pretty good with that knife".

NB: I honestly didn't see anything wrong with what I was doing, however, in hindsight I now see how this might appear..... Well, maybe odd? Does the word "odd" work? The thing is, I AM pretty decent with a weapon in my hand... I mean, I better be with all the practice I've had, right? I guess any concern anyone might have with seeing someone in their front yard using a large knife like a short sword to cut grass, is valid. It is odd, I guess... Or eccentric.

Anyway, I don't recall the whole conversation, however, he seemed more amazed than worried. So, that's good......

......So... Tonight's going to be a bit of a fire to clean up the branches I collected. There's a few decent logs to burn too, so it might take a couple of hours.

There's a Belegarth sword-making class tomorrow. I don't want to miss that! I have been without a proper, legal, Belegarth weapon for quite some time now, and since it's starting to get decent outside, I better start making an appearance. Anywho... It'll be nice to see my old buddies from Belegarth. They are a different lot. Sure do miss them!

Well, I think I should get my butt in gear. No writing today. Instead, I'll be cleaning out my new shed, getting ready for tonight's fire, and going on the hunt for a used lawnmower.

Have a great weekend!

May 14th
Today is turning out to be exceptionally special. It's "Mother's Day", and I want to send out my profound love and thanks to all the mothers in the world. I hope you all have a great day! You can be certain, Dear Diary, that I called my mom first thing this morning and had a wonderful chat over the phone. I sure do miss her! The conversation left me feeling better about the world, as it always does when I talk to her.

The OTHER reason I'm on top of the world at the moment, is that according to my website counter there has been over 40,000 page views as of today at noon!

At one time I never would have imagined such interest in what I write. In 2006 I decided that I needed to put my work online where others could easily access it. Initially, it was a tool for me to use in debates, or to post a joke or story I had written. I didn't start out thinking that I would someday make a habit of writing daily, but life changed as all things eventually do. The very first diary I posted online was my memoirs written during my incarceration in 2012. I found that writing my thoughts down helped me to see things more clearly, and allowed me to make better choices. I’ve discovered that when I get something stuck in my head the best way to move past the moment in time or the imagery, is to write, paint, or craft. I pen my thoughts each day not only as a reminder to me about all the day's events, but also as a tool for referencing my past, and thus helping me be more cognitive of my actions and goals. More importantly, it helps to show me how things are affecting me. I find taking the time to write helps me to stay grounded, and it is for this reason that I have kept a diary for as long as I have.

While many people from all over the planet are enjoying my short stories, recipes, jokes, life-quotes, as well as, linking some of my articles during debates on social media, the vast majority of my audience is reading my diary. It's quite the story, and you can tell from reading my journal, or as I tend to call it, "Dear Diary", how my life is going from day to day. You can really see a difference when you start comparing it year to year! For me? It's an interesting social experience, although it was not originally intended to become a world-wide phenomenon like it did; the whole purpose of the "Turn the Page Series" and "Obscure Arcanum" was for my family and friends back home to keep track of my whereabouts and the major events in my life. Then, it morphed into something much more......

....back in the second chapter of "Turn the Page" I stopped writing an online diary. Suddenly, I had an influx of email from all over the planet asking me to continue writing. [Shrugs] Well, I haven't stopped since. I remember when I first started writing and getting excited over a couple thousand views. How things have changed! My goal to become world-renown is being achieved, and it's only through the help and support of others that I am able to continue chasing my dreams.

Thank you all for helping make this a huge success!

Anyway, I'm having a bit of a late start today. I believe I caught a touch of food poisoning yesterday, and I'm pretty weak today. I won't go into all the details, but rest assured I was pretty ill for about 12 hours. Haven't been able to keep much food down, Oh well... I had a decent weekend.....

........Friday night was very enjoyable. The fire was fun, and just being able to sit and listen to music outside was nice. I couldn't do that the first time I lived here, and it's only because I have a new landlord that I'm able to enjoy such moments.

Oh. I have a lawnmower. If that isn't an example of how the "Law of Attraction" works, I don't know what is. EG: I needed a lawnmower, and two days later I have one. It's an older model, but it has a good engine and a decent chassis, but no "Bells-and-whistles". It starts, stops, and it cuts grass, which is basically all I needed. Right now it's stored in my shed beside my bike. I was even given a gas can and a used rake. Look at me go!

So Saturday I went to Belegarth sword-building class. I crafted a well-built flat-blade foam boffer, AKA sword. It's quite exciting! I'm probably going to need to sew a new cover for it, as I doubt I have any covers that will work, and it also needs a handle. With no sewing machine and no fabric tape, it might be a bit before I can use it in combat. Guess I'll need to send out some positive vibes to the Universe and see what happens.....

......[Chants] I need a sewing machine and some crafting supplies. [Makes a long "OOOOM" sound]

Yes, I can sew rather well. It's kinda fun when you have the right equipment.

I'd like to touch on one subject; my relationship with Cara. This weekend I spent a couple days with her (Friday night here, Saturday at her house after Belegarth) I'm becoming very cognitive of my reactions to her, and while I'd like to say that's a good thing, it's showing me that I harbour quite a bit of resentment toward her. For example, when she's here I feel frustrated, because she is a reminder that I was made to move. When I'm at her house it's bitter-sweet; that was my home, and as much as I like being there, it hurts. I'm going to have to work on this, but I am coming to understand that my reaction to her is only the tip of the iceberg of what's going on in my life. [Shrugs] This is growth, no matter how you look at it.

[Looks at the time] Well, frik me! I must be having fun by the way time if flying by.....

.....before I go, I just want to share something I found amusing this morning. A friend of mine was congratulating me on breaking the 40K mark, but in joking he said, "40,227 views... 40,007 were Russian". While it's rather funny, it's based on my growing fan base in Russia. In the last week I was shocked to see the counter showing 200 readers from Russia.... Then 300... Then 700.... And this morning it's now telling me 1,117 views between May 7th - 14th......... So, as a joke I decided to make a "Fake President Trump Tweet". I know, I know..... My sense of humour is weird......

......Talk soon!

May 15th
What an amazing morning! The sun is shining, the air is calm and smells sweet, and the sounds of birds and animals ring through the air. Good morning, Dear Diary, It's Monday.

I went to bed early, because I was still feeling weak from my bout of food poisoning. Turns out I had a great sleep, and when the lights and radio turned on at 7 AM, I awoke in a good mood. Not sure why, but instead of getting up and just going about my routine, I instead picked up my iggy and crawled back into bed for a cuddle. At first the little guy didn't know what to do, but after a minute he realized it was cuddle time and spread himself out on my bare chest. I know that the body heat felt good for the cold iggy, but he seemed very happy to sit quietly listen to me softly talk to him. We laid in bed for about 15 minutes, and it was only when I needed to use the bathroom that I actually got out of bed.

Bath-time for Hephestusamazilion, some breakfast (He took his calcium powder with no problems) and then back to his enclosure to bask under the UVB light. Pretty certain these moments where he quietly enjoys cuddles is due to the fact he is becoming more attached to me, AKA bonding. Though he does occasionally resort to lizard-like behaviour, like head-bobbing and posturing, he is becoming a "Beta Iguana" like I had hoped.

Changing the subject, I have to say I'm pretty disgusted with the government of Canada at this moment. It has to do with the extreme level of political correctness that seems to be the mantra of the current government, and it feels like we're just giving away our country to foreigners. From the problems I've addressed previously due to incorrectly labeling of "Economic Migrants" and subsequent spin-off that's creating, to even going so far as to push for laws that would MAKE IT ILLEGAL to criticize Islam. Today, the government of Canada is allowing a political correct movement called "Cultural Appropriation" to take root.....

....what does this mean? If I'm not a Native North American, I cannot write a story about Indigenous people in Canada for fear I might commit some sort of cultural faux-pas. It goes further, with boycotts being called against those who paint, write, or craft items from other cultures. Since when did it become politically incorrect to draft a piece of fiction for fear of misrepresenting a culture? It's the same ideological mantra of making an analysis of religious practices by other culture..... Out of fear of offending anyone, we are now facing legal action if we criticize others. When the (Explicit) did we become this weak? This is a deadly, slippery slope, and I hope the government is forced to abandon this destructive ideology!

And, it's not like it's limited to Canada, either. Right now in the USA, they are tearing down Heritage sites because it offends a few individuals. You can't make this up! A nation divided by political correctness, the United States is catering to minorities, and in doing so, undermining the nationality of the country. They should just tear down ALL their Heritage sites if they are so weak-minded and spineless, starting with the Statue of Liberty. Do I sound bitter? Or, is there a legitimate madness to my method? (Spoonerism)

The fact remains, ALL NATIONS are destroyed by political correctness. Anyone claiming otherwise has an agenda.

In other International news, North Korea has launched yet another test missile. This makes 6 launches so far this year, and any saber-rattling on the part of other countries seems to have little to no effect on the NK leader. Now, don't get me wrong, Dear Diary, I'm smart enough to realize why all of this is going on, and I even know the exact reason why the missile test on Sunday was conducted. It was more than just showing the world how much progress they're making; it was a clear message to the new South Korean leader, who has vowed to be more lenient to the brutal dictatorship of the DPRK. There are two sides to this coin, and it takes a clear analytical frame of mind to realize it is more than mere saber-rattling by the isolated regime; by forcing the hand of world leaders, Kim Jong-Un is setting his country up to receive a host of International assistance once it gets to the bargaining table. I'm certain that little Kimmy does indeed wish to launch a nuclear weapon at USA, but the leaders of the DPRK know what will happen if they do, and for that reason they have not launched a direct attack. Make no mistake, that if things perchance to go wrong it will lead to an armed conflict on the Korean penisula, so let's all hope that cooler heads prevail. Right now there is a USA fleet conducting battle drills with Japan and South Korea, and I can see how these kind of military drills can be viewed as practice for an invasion into North Korea. I can also see how this would unnerve the DPRK leaders.

For anyone trying to wrap their head around why the DPRK is so set to develop weapons of mass destruction, you need to keep in mind what happens to nations that lack a nuclear deterrent when one of the globalist powers desires regime change..... Take Libya for example. No nuclear deterrents, and what doers the USA military do? They invade and kill Muammar Gaddafi. Same with Saddam Hussein.... The biggest reason why Kim Jong-Un is so determined to get his hands on nuclear weapons is to deter any other nation from launching a preemptive strike against the DPRK. Don't think it would happen? Look at Syria, and how the USA is trying to rid the world of that regime. The CIA is currently arming rebel factions within the country to overthrow  Bashar al-Assad. Can you imagine if another country started arming citizens within the United States in an effort to cause a civil war to overthrow the US government?! Regime change is REAL, and it's for this reason that North Korea is working so feverishly to have nuclear weapons.

Make no mistake, I am dead-set against the DPRK having weapons of mass destruction, however, I am disgusted by the hypocrisy of other nations who have had such weapons for decades, but actively campaign against other nations developing them. For example, USA sent a military naval carrier group to the Korean peninsula to deter them from testing missiles, but last week USA tested an ICBM off the coast of California. An Air Force statement called the test "an important demonstration of our nation's nuclear deterrent capability." I call it being a hypocrite.

[Shrugs] Enough of the political garbage. I'm just one voice in a host of individuals trying to bring to light the problems plaguing our planet.

What's the plan for today? Well, the sun is shining, so that opens the door for opportunities...... [Laughs] How punny......

.......Some writing, some cleaning, and from the looks of it, a bit of debating online. Noting like tossing around a few leftists first thing in the morning with the use of the written word. I get a kick out of sending them running, crying and calling me names........

.....Call it "Trolling" if you like..... I call it exposing the bullshit.

See? That's the thing about freedom of speech..... Just because you don't like what someone writes or says, it doesn't mean anyone else has the right to become offended. Personally, I'm offended that Canadians are so easily offended........

.......Hmmm.. Looks like I'm in a bratty mood today. Which of course means, I'm in a good mood.

Well, I hope you have a wonderful week! Try and get a chance to get out and enjoy the sun and heat, because I know I'm going to. Talk to you tomorrow.

May 16th
Hello, Dear Diary, and welcome to a rainy Tuesday morning. I was woke up today at 6:25 AM by the nighbours in the floor above me slamming crap around and walking across the floor with their boots on. When they decided to run down the sstairs like a herd of elephants I bolted to the front door, whipped it open, and took a good look at the two college-aged young-adults emerging from the other door. In my calmest voice (I'm hoping the tone I spoke aloud was the same in my head), I reminded them, "There are other people living in this house".

Went back inside and stewed about it for half an hour. Did I do the right thing? I got a good look at the guys, and they of course, they got a good look at me. I was half-awake when it happened, and you know what I'm like in the morning, Dear Diary, when I get woke up by other people. As I sat there analyzing the situation, I realize now that I cannot make any sort of fuss because if I do they will know it's me. Hell! If ANYONE reports excess noise, they will automatically think it was me. Maybe I'm wrong in this line of reasoning, but I doubt it. Perhaps I'm putting too much thought into it......

.......[Grins] I'm Zzorhning it!

Since I was up so damned early and with two other roommates in the house, I decided to sit and browse social media for a bit..... It was two and a half hours before they decided to wake up...... Whatever..... It's a rainy Tuesday morning, so I took it upon myself to tiptoe around the house while I listened to news the entire time.  Anyway, what does a irritated, red-blooded, Nationalist, who knows-more-than-he-should do with all that spare time in front of a computer?

The answer I'm probably looking for is "Debate!", however, because of my foul temperament it was more like trolling. I know, I know.... Trolls, bad. It somewhat akin to a guilt trip when you troll an article or individual; you are deliberately causing an emotional response to create stress. Oh well... There's a fine line between a rebel and a traitor, just like there's a similar line in the sand between trolling and attempting to educate the masses. Hmmm... [Thinks].... I think I crossed that line when I purposely went after a certain leftist, though.... Leftist? You know, the individuals that resort to name-calling when proven wrong in a debate? It could be just my experience, but I don't think I'm that far off the mark on that statement. So, yea... Was trolling.

I do have to say, there are times when I worry about being so vocal about my political knowledge. I keep joking that I'm going to get a visit from the "Thought Police", but I really should stop making fun of that.... Karma has a way of kicking people in the backside, and I really don't want a visit from CSIS, the CIA, or the FBI, for speaking openly about the way the world works. What am I talking about? Check out THIS post I made on Facebook this morning.....
".....FAKE NEWS! Even in the article itself, it claims, “The story that came out as reported tonight is false. The president did not disclose any military operations that were not already publicly known,”

Hey 'Murica......

.........I cannot imagine what it would be like to have another country arm rebels within another nation in an attempt to overthrow the current government. The United States does that, but when there's an attack on American soil they call it terrorism. When they don't like that the DPRK is testing missiles, they send a fleet of warships off the NK's coast to protest, but last week America purposely test fired an ICBM in California.

Stop with the "Russia is scary" propaganda. It was getting old in the mid-80's. USA is committing terrorism offences in a least two countries at this moment, by arming rebels and has even been caught red-handed helping ISIS on occasion. Just let that sink in for a moment. Don't believe me? You'll have to go beyond CNN and FOX to find that............. News in North America is censored.... And quite fake."

Did I go too far?

If you're thinking I'm wrong, let me point out that right now the leader of Turkey is going over to visit the United States of America to ask them to stop arming the Kurdsish rebels. Who's that, you ask? The YPG, AKA a terrorist network..... And for confirmation as to at least one more rebel / terrorist organization the States is aiding / arming, is the Syrian rebels. Don't forget the CIA created Al Qaeda to fight in Afghanistan.... This is nothing new.

So, yea. I'm expecting either a Facebook ban or a visit from CSIS for a chat. It could probably go either way.

Hey WORLD! If you think there is freedom of expression, think again!!! I can just see the future where they use computers to determine who is going to commit a crime based on social media content, and charge them simply on principle of having "Undesired thoughts". Think I'm dreaming? I hope I'm dreaming......

...coming to Canada. The THOUGHT POLICE! -- "Stop, eh? You're not allowed to say anything bad about someone else, because that's not nice! And don't wear sandles with socks again or we'll write you a ticket!" [Snickers]

There is something I've noticed about myself. The more aware I become of what's REALLY going on in the world, the more cynical I am becoming toward the farce of politics on the planet. I've always enjoyed staying on top of the news, but it's only become recently that I am absorbing news from an entirely different approach..... I'm avoiding sports, minor politics, small incidents, and other "CLUTTER" that is purposely designed to divert our attention away from the real news. What I've noticed is that it is not just WHAT I'm researching, but WHERE that is changing. I haven't watched CTV News, CNN, or FOX for quite a long time, and the only partisan news media I do enjoy is CBC - The National", but there are times when I find myself cringing from the content.....

...because, I know better.

There it is.... The awakening, so to speak. The veil has been lifted, and I have cognitive awareness of my level of Earthly knowledge. The further I keep pushing my understanding of the world, the more I come to realize the levels of control used by the various world powers, and why things are the way they are. Everything makes so much sense! There's something else that has come to my attention..... I now understand globalism.

Wow! I feel like my mind is suddenly exploding from all the working theories, historical facts, and even conjecture regarding the globalist movement. (Which by the way is eons old)

It. All. Makes. Sense. Now.......

.......once again I would like to remind you, Dear Diary, that there is ONLY ONE RACE on the planet; the HUMAN RACE. We're all in this together. But! What's so wrong with wanting a world government like they have in Star Trek? One planet, one race, all working together for the betterment of humankind.

Wow! Look at the time! As I typed this journal entry I was also debating online, and morning has slipped into afternoon. Oops! I better get my butt in gear...... Hmm.. Figures... Slow, irritating start to my day, with crappy weather, and I'm being unproductive.......

......Sounds about right.

Hope you have a great day! We'll talk soon.

May 17th
It's supposed to be the warmest day so far in 2017. I am looking forward to the sun and heat.

Woken up by the childish, college-age kids above me again. Not good. Something is going to have to happen to remedy this, although, I'm not sure what.

To be clear, THIS is what I'm talking about when I speak of resentment to being forced to move back to this "Shared living" arrangement. I'm subject to the whims of others. When I'm resentful toward Cara, I have a legitimate reason to be this way....

....Like, if it was really love, I wouldn't be here.

Moving on, I have to find some way to pick up a mattress across town. It's brand new, but I'm responsible for getting it back to my place. What the (Explicit) would I do if I didn't have anyone to help? What am I going to do?

Yesterday was productive; some writing, some cleaning, and some art. I even published the first two-and-a-half chapters of my newest book as a teaser. Have a look if you like. I called it, "Odin's Reprieve".

I'm supposed to help my roommate tidy up his storage shed this morning, so I have to medicate, shower, and get my butt in gear. Today is going to be super busy, so I don't have any time to write.

I took Hephestusamazilion outside yesterday. It was only for a short time, but it showed me that the harness I bought for him needs to be altered because it keeps sliding back and trapping his little arms. It's still too chilly for extended trips outdoors, but hopefully that changes. I just hope that I can get the opportunity to try this again today, since it's supposed to be warm out.

Gotta jet. I'm running behind, and I have things to do. Have a great day!

9 PM
Good evening, Dear Diary. I had a pretty decent day. Sun, heat, and between Brian and I, we accomplished quite a bit. There's a rumour of having a "Garage Sale" in the next couple of weeks.


So.........

.....I kinda got into a bit of an online argument this morning. Actually, it was started yesterday, but the details really don't matter. What I will simply say, is that I am noticing that my ability to debate is noticeably diminished at the current moment due to the fact I can see beyond the hyperbole and propaganda. It's akin to standing on top of the CN Tower and looking down on the people running around aimlessly below you. They go on about their life reacting to what's in front of them, but unable to see more than a couple of city blocks. They stumble and bungle, unable to see the perspective of the whole city.....

....to put that in layman's terms, when there's a shake-up in the news and everyone jumps in a knee-jerk reaction, I cross reference the topic from a few sources, and then think beyond the moment. For example, when the DPRK fires off a missile and the whole world reacts, you need to take a good look at South Korea. [Chuckles] They shrug, shake their collective head in dismay, but simply go about their life. They all know that the Kim dynasty has been saber rattling for decades, and it doesn't necessarily mean they want war..... Instead, it's an attempt to have sanctions lifted, while working within the globalist's agenda for building its weapon platforms..... The sanctions against the country gets lowered, and then after a period of time "Something happens", and the weapon program kicks back in. Sanctions are put in place, the DPRK saber rattles again, and it just keeps repeating. The South Koreans know this, I know this, and so do the globalists with their agenda.

How can you even debate with someone who is acting like the sky is falling and a world war is going to break out at any moment?

I'll admit... I did somewhat initiate the particular debate that I mentioned earlier; the original article was a fairly decent synapses of President Trump's visit to Saudi Arabia, but the responses from the general masses was a "Leftist circle jerk" or echo chamber all bashing the President. I just couldn't help to try and set the record straight, but I was immediately attacked.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised.

Any attempt to bring some truth to the conversation was only met with citations of dogma and rhetoric, and I just finally got to a point where I realized it doesn't (Explicit) matter! These scattered individuals are only a mere handful of the uneducated masses, and  know in my heart there are more polarized and brainwashed "Sheeple" out there.

It's like I honestly think I'm going to change the world by attempting to set the record straight and bring light to the masses.

You get to a point, you know? [Sighs]

There's more.... When I walk down the street I look at all the people around me, knowing that they are all so absorbed in their little lives they can't see the big picture. I also know that IF disaster were to strike they would all become helpless. I also know the powers-that-be are counting on this. To try and help you see my point of view, let me ask you this..... Do you have the life-skills to survive if the world as we know it suddenly stopped? Most don't. The panic and mayhem that would inevitably follow would exacerbate any disaster.....

......much like how people simply react to situations, without having the ability to see beyond the media control, the censorship of the media, and the drama of the political scene.

So it is that I have decided to stop debating on social media. Instead, I'll be making observations in my diary and the article I've aptly entitled, "The Way Things Are". Archived for future generations, it will be a much more worthy endevour than trying to argue with a bunch of ignorant strangers.

It's getting late. I should go get ready for bed. I'll talk to you in the morning.

May 18th
Morning. [Waves]

Temperatures are supposed to be in the high 20's, with a humidex of about 32 degrees. Sounds great, but there's talk of rain later on in the day. Why does this not surprise me?

I woke up to the radio quietly tinkling in the iguana enclosure at about 7:20 AM. Instead of jumping up right away and starting my day, I got up, opened up the wood-and-glass enclosure beside me, picked up Hephestusamazilion, and crawled back into bed with him. We cuddled for about 20 minutes and I even dozed off a bit, only to wake up with him licking me on the face.

Don't get me wrong; for all the bonding I do with my iguana, he is still prone to lizard-like behaviour. An hour after I had bathed him this morning, I went to pet him only to have the little fella decide to puff himself up and hiss at me while baring his teeth. Like.... Dude. [Chuckles] It turned out he was hungry, and his food dish was to far to crawl to I guess. His aggressive actions were all, "Feed me Hooman!", tossed in with a little head bobbing for good measure. [Shrugs] Whatcha going to do, right? He's an iguana.... And institutionalized, or rather, quite dependent on his jailer for pretty much everything. So, while he's becoming more sociable and friendly, he can never outgrow the sum of his parts. He and I will never outgrow our codependency of "Pet and Master".

Sounds like humans. Was that cynical? I thought it was funny. After all, jokes are basically twists on life-truths, and to imply that humans cannot grow beyond their physical and mental limitations is a truism. To imply that we are blindly trudging along through life blissfully unaware like a caged iguana is the twist part of the joke..... Kinda true, but a tad insulting. [Shrugs] Meh.....

.........so, in a related frame of mind, the United States of America is back in the world's spotlight with another over-dramatic occurrence. During a visit with Russian diplomats two days ago, the President traded a couple of helpful bits of information. After all, that's what meetings with International leaders are for; a chance to work out problems, as well as, negotiate treaties and trade agreements using the information they feel is relevant. During this particular meeting, President Trump decided to share the fact that the USA had recently uncovered evidence of explosives being developed to fit inside laptop computers. The goal behind this would be to smuggle these devices on an airplane or other mass transit, and then detonate it, possibly even remotely.....

....Well... The USA media lost their collective minds.

"HE'S SHARING CLASSIFIED INFORMATION!!", they all cried, calling for an immediate investigation on whether or not the President broke the law. It didn't take long for the educated masses gently remind the rest of the country that, "No, the President didn't break any laws. What he decides to de-classify is up to him". Now, while that seemed to calm things down for a tiny bit, the media erupted in another firestorm when the release was made public regarding the information leaked. MEANWHILE, the public sees all this hooplah and hyperbole, and instead of being able to make rational choices on their own, they are spoon-fed propaganda from leftist-leaning media sources. "IMPEACH! IMPEACH!", is the new mantra, trying to set about to find a neutral prosecutor to look into possible collusion between President Trump and Russia.

It's almost sickening to watch. It IS painful.

Meanwhile, the media gets its grubby hands on the "secret information" that was shared and decides to splash it all over every single source they have... Each one trying to be the first to broadcast it, with the most detailed information.....

......Media: "Shame on you for telling Russia about the laptop bombs! That's treason! Trump shouldn't be telling anyone about what we know."

Trump administration: "The story that came out tonight, as reported, is false"

Media: "Hey WORLD!! Terrorists are planning on using laptops as bombs. Full details within the hour......."



You. Can't. Make. This. Up.......Dance, puppets..... Dance.

I should go. There is a plan for me to head over to Cara's house this afternoon. I probably won't be getting any writing done as I have to help my roommate clean out his truck before I head out. Thank God I have medication still.

Talk soon!

10 Bells
I'm home. Actually, I got home about half-an-hour ago, but let's not argue......

...I've had enough arguments in the last couple of hours to last me at least a week, thank you. Oh? What's that, you ask? An argument? Is all not well in Carlson-town?

No. Do you need me to say that again? No................ [Sighs] I'm sorry, Dear Diary.. I'm being snarky. [Pauses and takes a deep breath] Do you want to start again?

Hello, Dear Diary. It's 10 PM on Thursday night, and I'm in a bit of a pissy mood. I'm at home, but I was not expecting to be so. My plans to stay over at Cara's apartment were thwarted by "THE USUAL".

Look... I'm not going to get into a whole detailed report about what happened, but just like Jesus, I'm going to relate reality by the use of a parable.......

........If you're a true Zzorhnamaniac, you already know that it's easy to tell when I'm in a good mood and when I'm ticked right royally. I probably don't even need to tell you about this, do I? I mean, I do wear my heart on my sleeve; which basically means you can easily tell what I'm feeling by my body actions / facial expressions / et all, or by reading what I write........

......one bright, sunshine-filled day, an ugly, bald man called Joe... Wait.. Can we call this guy "Joe"? What kind of name is Joe? Like... "Hey Joe-Blow from Kokimo. Heard you just got back from a Bloodhound show. How's it going, Joe? Joe-shmoa... The JOE-STER!.... JOEEEEY.......

....[Coughs] Sorry. Got off on a tangent.

So, there's this guy named Joe, who decides to go across town to see this very pretty girl by the name of Tara..... [Pauses] Too close to reality? Wait.. Are you pronouncing it Terra? OR Taara? [Giggles]

So, there's this guy named Joe, who decides to go across town to see this attractive woman who's name rhymes with "Bear-a". When he gets to her house, he is excited to show her his online journal that highlights several important talking points. Instead of listening to the matter at hand, Tara, decided to focus on one paragraph Joe had written about "Couldn't be love...", and the whole conversation digressed until Joe had to leave.

What's the moral? Joe should have kept his head down, mouth shut, and realized that Tara doesn't care about world politics. Oh... And he should let her read the diary on her own.

Hmmmm.... I might be missing the part where I'm a narcissist with obsessive compulsive disorder. [Looks] Nope... Doesn't look like I mentioned it..... Wait, wait..... Yes... I did....... If you haven't read, "To Whom It May Concern", I suggest you do. [Shrugs] I can wait.

Back already? You read fast.

So, I'm irritated, and once again don't know where I stand when it comes to my relationship. Are we together? What's going on? Why is everything always my fault somehow? I feel like I'm going insane......

....there is one important point I would like to raise while I'm on the subject. I told Cara this, and I'm going to see if I can repeat if verbatim. ... [Clears his throat] "When I was HERE (The apartment) I only painted ONE picture, I only crafted ONE art project (With the kidlet), and wrote NO books in the space of 8 months"......

....... When you can answer the question, "WHY?", then you'll understand what I meant months ago when I spoke of being suppressed by daily drama. It's draining, and unproductive. And, apparently, drama also can make me go home.

Have a good night.

May 19th
It's Friday. The temperature is 9 degrees, and there's a thick cloud cover.

I feel like garbage today. This is proof of how stress impacts my health. Last night's argument turned into a sequel this morning of texting back and forth in an attempt to find some semblance of a relationship, and proved to only exacerbate the problem....

...I swear to God the next person that blames me for something I didn't do is going to get clocked! So sick of this! I feel like I'm going insane.... I'm even thinking that perhaps, somehow things might BE my fault. Like, the self-doubt that washes over me is depressing, and it's got me all nauseous and cramped right up. It's noon as I type this; my whole day affected by the events of yesterday and this morning. I'm irritated, and now I'm upset that I've wasted so much time today in pain, and anguishing over things I know aren't real. I mean, they can't be real.... It is impossible for me to be the source of absolutely everything wrong in my relationship. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Argh!

Me: "The reason I'm frustrated is because of what you're doing....."

Her: "....But! If YOU didn't _______, I wouldn't ________."

Me: "Can you please take own up to your negativity and guilt trips? I'm sick of being at fault for everything"

Her: "If you're sick of being at fault, then stop making everything an issue".

[Screams]

I'm sick of the word "But" and "You". Absolutely sick of it!

So, this morning I wasted yet another hour of my life in a text conversation talking about her perception, and how everything is my fault. When I was at the apartment for 8 months, this same thing would happen, but just face-to-face. A real-life issue is met with perception and illogical assumptions based on personal perception, and the whole conversation degrades into a blame-game. Hours of my life have been spent in this fashion, and the unfortunate spin-off of causing me stress is that it destroys my creativity and energy, which is why I barely got anything done when I lived with her. Each day was similar to this morning's text conversation; I try to approach the topic with logic and a host of life-experiences, and I'm met with resistance based on feelings and perception, I'm a big boy, and when I do make a mistake I can admit it......

......but when I speak you can be certain I've probably thought about the topic at least 20 times, and analyzed it thoroughly. There's this thing I can do that I notice most other people can't..... I can run videos in my head like a day-dream. I can pause the scenario, rewind it, fast-forward, add details to the situation and move things around in my head. Moist people "Weigh the odds" of situations, whereas, I mentally see it happen over and over again, and can modify the results much like changing the perimeters on a computer program. In this manner I am able to bend, shape and twist things to see what will work best, and the same holds true for encounters; I can envision an event and "Run the program" to see how it works when factoring other humans into the equation.

Let's be blunt. Adding humans into any equation is chaotic at best. Oh look! I made a joke....

......I thought it was funny. [Shrugs]

Back on topic.... I decided after stressing out all morning that enough was enough. I simply cannot take this anymore! So, after another looong text message from her where she's asking for clarification on something I've spoken about a least a few times, and then in the next sentence claimed, "You say and mean different things often" (Which isn't true due to my verbal-diarrhea and figurative heart-on-my-sleeve) It was at that point where I heard something TWANG in my brain like a snapping elastic band. [Sits staring at the screen, just shaking his head]

NB: I'm trying to ride that thin line of wanting to divulge everything, but not wanting to cast anyone else in a negative light. Cara is a sweet, intelligent person, but she has issues, mostly due to her life experiences. The thing is, we ALL have issues, and we're ALL a little broken. I just wanted to make it clear that I am not trying to trash or shame this woman, but rather, trying to bring enough relevant information to the discussion so that you, Dear Diary, are able to see the whole picture. Just really wanted to clarify that.

Anywho....... It probably wasn't the smartest thing for to do, but like I said, I actually felt and heard something in my head snap.... I picked up my phone, and thumbed the tiny keys in a text message that will forever impact my life, "Let me clarify then. (Explicit) off and leave me alone! This is the last time I'm contacting you. Any attempt you make will be ignored. Clear enough?"... And then I hit the block feature on my phone to stop any more messages from coming.......

......[Sighs heavily] I feel like hammered crap.

Probably won't get much done today. Even Hephestusamazilion is having an off day.... Little bugger tried to bite me an hour ago when I tried to give him some attention. It's probably just me sending off negative vibes... My fault, somehow......

.....Wow! Self-pity much? Good God, Zzorhn.... Pull yourself up and go take a shower, clean the house a bit, and concentrate on health and happy thoughts. Wait.... Did I just write in the third-person?  I AM losing it.

Well, I sincerely hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. It's the May long weekend, or "May 2-4" as we Canadians call it...... May 2-4..... 24 bottles of beer in a case, and 24 hours in a day. Coincidence? I think not.....

.....Have a good one.

P.S. As I sit here analyzing everything, it has suddenly occurred to me that those last two text messages we sent each other sealed our fate; because of the fact she stated that I "Say one thing and mean another", which I followed up by "I will not be contacting you again", there is now a hidden message between the lines, or rather, this exchange has a connotation on its own. I now have to keep my word of never contacting her again, otherwise, she's right. (Explicit)ing co-dependency!!

May 20th
The sun is shining at the moment, but this whole weekend is predicted to be cool with rain expected for tomorrow. Just more unsettled weather patterns like we've had all Spring. Which does rather suck the big one.... I mean, this is a holiday weekend, and we need sun and heat.

Victoria Day. Hmm.....To me it's always been "May Two-Four". Such a Canadianism, eh? May long.... May 2-4......... [Shrugs] The way I see it, there's 24 hours in a day, and 24 beer in a case. Coincidence? I think not! Like, if you think about it, the holiday doesn't always fall on the 24th of May, in fact, this year it's Wednesday.... Which seems to lend more credence to "May 2-4" being a reference to beer.

Have a safe and exceptional weekend, my friends. Remember to not drink and drive..... Take a cab, call a friend, use Uber, or flag down a passing UFO if you have to.

[Thinks] This is the part where I say something relevant about the holiday, but to be totally honest I only associate this long weekend / holiday with beer. Apparently it's to commemorate the Queen of England or something.... Does that mean we have to go out and enslave a nation in the name of Her Majesty? I'm a little vague on the details...... But beer sounds like a perfectly valid reason to have a holiday.......

......And we don't have to conquer and enslave any other nations.

Meanwhile, I don't plan on anything out of the ordinary for the occasion. In fact, I doubt I'll do anything different, as for me, it's just another day. Maybe it would be different if I had a certain someone, but at this time I'd rather just stay indoors.

I was hoping today would have been more productive than yesterday, but so far it looks like more of the same; I'm irritated, and my health is poor. Those two conditions are probably related, as it's proven stress can create health issues.

I am going to do some laundry today, and I need to clean up the house a bit. Should be fairly low-key. But, on that note I'm going to go. Not much to report, and I'm not in the mood to write. Have a great day.

May 21st
Rain. Only got 4 hours of sleep because of the nieghbours upstairs. My guts feel like they are on fire.

Blame the heel-walkers who are pretending they don't have neighbours living below them. This concept is nothing new, bu I imagine it's exacerbated due to their age; Millennials are self-centered, and selfish. It was so bad last night that I ended up getting out of bed, grabbed one of my quarterstaffs, and banged on the ceiling. It worked, because the banging stopped immediately, but by the time I climbed back into bed my adrenaline had completely woken me up.

I'm trying to figure out if there's any positive way this can be fixed. I can't seem to think of anything positive about this situation. I know that my simmering anger can fester in my mind, and even though I want nothing more than to move past this problem, it's something that seems to be happening with regularity.

Meanwhile, I'm tiptoeing around after-hours, waiting to do dishes until at least 9 AM, slowly turn the shower on so there's no noisy gushing sound, and slowly shut doors so they don't slam. This is what I was taught to do, and it's become habitual. These values, however, become problematic when someone else doesn't uphold them.

Am I being narcissistic by claiming that in this matter I am right, and everyone else should adhere to such values? Or is this just common logic and sensibilities. Where I come from, this is the norm. In fact, any child acting contrary to such standards were quickly reprimanded. So, I know it's not just me that believes in consideration for others and conducting yourself accordingly. [Thinks] Isn't that the basis for political correctness, cultural awareness, and humanitarian issues? I think it is..... So, that means I'm right.

The thing is, those four young adults are merely the sum of their parts, or rather, how they conduct themselves is based on their upbringing. This kind of sweeping movement of "Putting children first" is what has produced this new generation. Concepts of hard-work isn't a driving force anymore, as Millennials do not adhere to their parent's work ethics of trading dollars for hours. Instead, they are more attracted to investment of time and money, With a childhood of "Participation medals" and "No child left behind", there is no incentive to strive to better themselves. In their mind they will succeed, because they have never failed. Learning to change their behaviour is not part of their life-skills. Like a final nail-in-the-coffin, their cell-phone mentality has degraded their ability to socialize, instead pushing each youngster to avoid real-life interaction, as well as, taking risks in front of an online community, which generates psychological issues.

Wow! I sound cynical..... Unfortunately these are proven facts, and the main reason I know is because I'm currently working on a satirical article about the psychological issues I'm witnessing each day.

For example; two days ago I was riding in the back of a city bus. It was fairly busy, and the bus had quite a few people in it. Some were reading, some talking quietly, but the majority had their head down and were absorbed in their cell-phone. Except one guy; this one 20ish year-old was sitting on a busy city bus, holding his phone like a microphone with the other person's voice on the phone loudly spewing from his exterior speakers. Like, I know I'm old fashioned in the mindset that when you use a phone it should be done in private - I will excuse myself from the table or walk out of the room if I have to answer the phone. However, I do KNOW that when you are in public there are certain ways that people should conduct themselves, and in this instance, this young man was in the wrong. I mean, can you see the problem if every single person on the bus was acting like him? The bus would have been loud, and stressful. Don't believe that this is an issue? Go take the GoTrain and read the signs indicating noise rules; no speaker phone / music, use headphones, etc. Anyway, the lesson to learn here is the same one we learned on the first day of Kindergarten; be respectful, If you have a loud or obnoxious notification for your phone, turn it down when on the bus. If your phone rings, answer it, but do so that the people around you aren't being subjected to your conversation. These values fall into the same category as those printed on the bus walls explaining to give up your seat for the elderly, disabled, or pregnant women. So........... What do I do? For a few minutes, nothing. Eventually, however, I guess I simply couldn't take it anymore, I stately loudly to the whole bus, "When you are in public, turn off your speaker phone!" Silence settled over the whole bus, and quite a few people turned to look at me. Undeterred, the self-entitled young man KEPT TALKING using speaker phone. I couldn't believe it! Like, I would have been embarrassed, but that's because I was raised to be observant of other's needs. Nope, not this guy; he keeps talking, with the whole bus subject to his phone conversation. It was at that time that I growled, "Or NOT! I guess that works too"* Turns out that worked, because it was at that moment he decided to thumb his phone off and sit quietly. Now, while I had managed to get the lad to adhere to a little common sense, it left me feeling irritated that I was even forced to make an issue of things.

Sound familiar?

When it comes to Millennials, the biggest problem isn't that they are self-centered. The most problematic trait of this generation of North Americans is that they cannot receive criticism, even if it's constructive.

You see it all over the media and news outlets; Universities embroiled in political quagmires with young men and women needing "Safe places" so their feelings aren't hurt. It's ludicrous, but it's all due to the fact that any attempt to criticize today's youth is met by a generation who have been told they are special and had everything handed to them by helicopter parents. When they perform poorly in school the blame is placed on the teacher, not the student. There is no such thing as failure, and they've always got their way.

So, you can't really blame them for being the way they are, but in a twist of irony, it's impossible to be constructively critical to these individuals to explain them that their line of ideology is extremely flawed. [Laughs] Talk about your "Catch 22"......

........Anywho.... I've had a decent day so far, I guess. Got up and went about my routine, cleaned the Iguana Cage, and showered. I think I'm going to bake some bread or something, possibly write, and maybe do some art. Just a soggy Sunday, so it's all indoor activity. Hope you are staying dry and warm. Talk soon.

* Not sure where this statement comes from. To this day I make use of this statement, "Or not. I guess that works too", whenever someone just ignores my advice.

May 22nd
Cold, damp, cloudy. Neighbours had a dog running around at 2 AM that woke me up. Only 5 hours of broken sleep.

Sounds like a broken record.

I mean, something is going to have to change. You know my mind, Dear Diary, and it is offering me solutions from texting the landlord, confronting the perpetrators, to even causing violence and damage. This is usually why I end up doing nothing, as ALL the solutions are starting to seem acceptable.... And each consecutive day they continue their abuse, the more my frustration builds.

Just spoke with one of the roommates on the lower level of the house. Turns out we''re on the same wavelength. A conversation about the behaviour of those 4 young adults who moved into the floor above us turned into an in-depth conversation about the high turn-over of tenants who have lived here for the last 3-4 years. Perhaps you remember some of the problems I had the last time when I was here? No? That's ok... It was two years ago..... Go check out the entry for January 24th, 2015, in the very first chapter of Obscure Arcanum. I'll wait.

I am being bombarded by evidence of this changing ideology and attitudes. The newest example of this slip on the PC slide is brought to light in separate, recent incidents in the NHL and NBL where two players were caught on camera mouthing homosexual slurs*. In both instances there is no possible way for audio, and it's only because of digital playback that the world wide web decided to make these two instances viral. Now, while I'm not condoning their actions, I myself am guilty to making inappropriate comments during a heated moment. After all, this is what movies, peers, professional athletes, and our parental figures all taught us; competition and the outbursts that come with it. Now?! Such actions and language are not only being shunned, but criminalized......

........Let me see if I can get this straight; you can be fined in professional sports for uttering a homophobic slur, but punching, hitting, grappling, and other forms of violence are acceptable? Even expected? In some cases, like hockey, desired? Wow! Someone should tell all the sensitive, politically correct minority a little story about sticks and stones.......

.......the fact remains, today's media have an agenda of mocking conservative values. Creating drama out of non-issues like those two sports athletes were subjected to is only possible because of an agenda run by corporations. People blindly follow the distractions and drama of the 1%, too wrapped up in living-in-the-moment AKA "Viral" occurrences on the internet, to notice what is really happening around them. This is what those in charge want. The degradation of our morals and values is part of the globalist agenda, because it sets up society to be more easily depopulated in the future. How does that work? Easy.... Divide the nation, using distractions to polarize the citizens against each other, mix in a disaster, and sit back while nature takes its course.

Oh, it's more complicated than all that, but the reality of the world we live in is much more strange than fiction. We're protesting the development of renewable energy sources, but meanwhile, the poisons of both fossil fuels and nuclear waste are threatening our planet. We could feed the entire world with our current production levels, but the corporations withhold technology and resources because they would lose money. Drugs, too are withheld from patients that require them due to greedy pharmaceutical corporations setting the price of medication. All this is not only done with the government's approval, but much of the distractions are part of the agenda to distract the general population from the activities of the various agencies working under the government.

Did you know that the fluoride used in drinking water is proven to lower IQ levels? If you or I were to take the same chemicals dumped into our drinking water by city engineers, and go and do it ourselves, we would be charged with severe crimes. It's a known poison! The Nazi's used it in concentration camps to keep the prisoners subdued... Now, if you don't believe me, Dear Diary, you can go research this stuff yourself. In fact, I encourage it.

So, with our children being subjected to government approved chemicals in our water, air, and food, they are then overloaded with brain-washing commercials that inevitably impact the way these youth develop. All of this is calculated, and controlled......

.....we have a whole nation of people walking around with their heads down and oblivious to the world around them. This is not by chance. We have a changing population that is concerned about political correctness, but oblivious to the real dangers surrounding them. This is what the-powers-that-be are counting on.

Would you look at that... The sun is coming out. Maybe I should stop attempting to educate the masses and go enjoy life.........

.......have a good one.

May 23rd
I'm in a weird, bratty mood.

The weather is partly cloudy / sunny with temperatures in the low teens.

I'm tired again from interrupted sleep, but this time it wasn't the guys upstairs, but rather, the guy down the hall who decided to come home at 1:20 AM, slam the door, and walk through the house talking on the telephone using speaker-phone-mode. This guy isn't around very much, but when he is home he keeps different hours than the rest of us. I'm going to give him a pass on last night, as he is usually pretty respectful most of the time.

An issue only becomes a problem when there is a pattern.


Think about it. A single drink isn't an issue. Drinking a glass of wine or beer a day isn't an issue. Going out and painting the town red in a drunken evening with friends isn't an issue (Be careful, and get a safe ride home), however, going out every weekend CAN become an issue. Drinking heavily is an issue, but when it become routine to drink heavily it is problematic. See how that works? How about a more simple analogy? A single murder is horrific and the local Police force will respond in kind, but if the sicko kills many people then it becomes problematic, and you will find task forces from several departments suddenly coordinating a major "Man-hunt".

In this way I am choosing to move past "Andy" (Not real name) making such a racket last night. The guy is usually decent. [Shrugs]

"I'd tell you what it looks like, but you're just going to get mad at me again........"
Don't get me wrong; I DO tiptoe around "After-hours", but I'm certain that my computer chair rumbles occasionally, or I drop something. I HAVE been staying up much later in the past week or so, but I try hard to not make excess noise from 10 PM until the house has woken up each morning.

I use cordless head phones around the house. My surround-sound speakers are still packed, and I doubt I'll bother to take them out of the crate for a while. My phone is on silent when I play games, and when I talk on the phone I use earphones.... Which work much better than holding a phone up to your ear or speaker phone. [Shurgs] I dunno... What am I trying to say here? Maybe you're getting sick of me talking about my expectations versus the morals and values of those around me? I hope not, Dear Diary. You will let me know, right?

See? That's the neat thing about the digital age; when used correctly the tools we now have available at our fingertips allow us to interact and communicate at the speed of light. Just like the LIVE video broadcast I did last night (I uploaded a copy to Youtube - Go have a watch), I can interact with my audience. In that same manner I receive between 5-20 letters / messages a month from people that enjoy reading my material.

If you ever want to email / message / text, I will endevour to be receptive to what you have to say.

I do get hate mail. Guess that happens to anyone who wants to put their personal contact out there for the world to see. It's not like I'm quiet about issues, either, which is probably why people become so polarized after some time. I've debated for almost decades online now using various formats and platforms. You tend to make a couple of enemies after all that. One thing I can pride myself on, however, is the use of my name during debates. I even use my website to bolster my arguments from time to time, so it's not like I'm even attempting to hide my identity like most people I've met over the years.

The thought of how risky it COULD BE by listing my information online HAS crossed my mind.

There's always that "What IF", right? We've all heard stories of being hassled by telemarketers, and I'm certain everyone has ended up with spam in their email folder, however, what about more dangerous tales ranging from abduction to blackmail? Don't scoff, Dear Diary. You can be certain that there is a much bigger "Internet" out there than most people know. In fact, when you use the "World Wide Web", you are only barely scratching at the surface of what is actually available online. There is a massive, uncatalogued, "Deep Web" that exists, and the only way to enter that encrypted part of the Internet is with a program, like TOR. Don't use it, and never go to these parts of the Internet. You'll never be the same, as well, end up on some government's watch-list. Anyway, I'm certain I'm fine, just like any other celebrity or public person is safe.

There IS something I want to do, Dear Diary, and it might just be another powerful tool to use to reach my audience. I've decided that I should start narrating some of my short stories and make them available on Youtube as audio-books. Get a small library of this type, and reach a whole new audience, right? I think it's a great idea, and I'm researching what it's going to take to set this up.....

....yea, I know... Turn on microphone, hit record, speak into microphone.

I just want to ensure the quality is clear, and there are no exterior noises like neighbours, or hissing. So, you can be certain I'm "Zzorhning it".

I should go. I'm itching to do a little writing, and I think I have to help my roommate, Brian, later on this evening. Hope you have a great day!

May 26th
Looks like I missed a couple of days in my journal. I've been busy, that much is certain. My spare time has been spent going through all my material possessions and performing a purge of my belongings by allotting 5 seconds per item to determine whether or not it is valuable to me. Those items that don't make the cut are designated for the garage sale on Saturday.

We're having a garage sale tomorrow. I'll be busier than a cat trying to cover poop on a marble floor. It's possible I won't be able to write, but that's ok; you know what I'm up to.

I DO have a major announcement to make, and while it's something I'm happy about, it means I have compromised my very own limitations. Remember when I said I was never going to speak to Cara again? Yea... That was obviously not true. Not only did I end up unblocking her, but we've talked about our issues and she's willing to work on things with me. Yea, I know. You've heard that before.

Not to play "Devil's Advocate" on this issue, but I actually think that I'm in a much better position this time around. I'm going into this relationship knowing everything about this woman, including all the problematic parts. The fact that there is a one-year lease at the current apartment prevents me from jumping back into things. What does the future hold? Who knows, but I do know I want to have Cara in my life.

You have to understand, Dear Diary, that I am making this choice not based on loneliness, because I haven't felt any need or desire to fill my bed. Choosing to be with Cara isn't because of convenience, in fact, it's probably much harder to work on our relationship than start over with someone new. There are very valid reasons why I adore Cara, and why I am fighting to keep her in my life. There are problems, but I am one of those people who likes to fix things instead of throwing it away. (Seriously, you should see my belongings - Older things, but well maintained and patched when necessary)

Anywho, we'll see what happens.

The idea to change or Facebook profiles to "The Joker" and "Harley Quinn" was mine. I thought it would be an apt portrayal of our personalities and relationship, as the Joker and Harley are quite the complex couple, as are we.

What's on the agenda for today? It's the day before the garage sale, so I'm quite busy. Lots to do, and less time to do it in. Hope you have a good weekend.

Garage Sale on Saturday and Sunday
May 29th
Well, back to blocking Cara on social media and my cell phone. I'm not going to list myself as single, because I'm sure this will blow over, but at this point in time I'm ticked off at her. Why? Because she blamed me for something that is not my fault....... And it's got to a point now where I just red-flag such bullshit in my brain. I mean, at the beginning it didn't invoke such raw negativity, but repetition has created a problematic situation...... Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

Went to sleep last night shortly after 10 PM. I was exhausted after spending all weekend hosting a garage sale. Thank goodness for Brian (My roommate downstairs) because he ensured I had meds the whole time. Anyway, after helping him make a few bucks, we hauled everything back to our storage units in the backyard. Garage sales are quite a bit of work! I haven't had one in a while, so I kinda forgot how much effort is required for the small return. We did have a few big items, but people are mostly interested in knickknacks, or just not interested at all. Is it possible that private garage sales are on the decline? It's entirely likely, as most consumers are content to simply buy new items from a market flooded with cheap goods in a disposable era. The idea of finding something used and making it part of their lives is a foreign concept  for many, more content to purchase items that come with warranties, and in some cases, with the ease of their own home computer.  Anyway, we might have sold a tiny portion of what was for sale, and anything of value had to be put away to sell at a further date. Which means I lugged a bunch of stuff around for two days. I do get a bonus from helping Brian, in that, I get medication and few bucks to buy food. I have to say this couldn't have come at a better time of the month. Anywho, I was tired last night when I went to bed, and was hoping to get a good night's sleep......

.......I didn't..... Bet you saw that coming, eh?

I awoke at midnight and flipped and flopped in bed because Andy decided to cook and do dishes. At 6:20 in the morning the guy above me put on his boots and stomped across the ceiling, ran down the stairs, and then slammed the door. While Andy hasn't been feeling that well all weekend and I'll give him a pass on this isolated indent, the guy upstairs making excessive noise is routine.

I wonder who cleans their house if all four of them wear their shoes in the house? My mother would kick their asses!

When it comes to the slamming of doors, there are two categories; intentional, and unintentional. The first is something every one of us has done in our past, and it isn't just limited to slamming doors either. I chuckle at the fact that today's youth will never experience the satisfaction of slamming a telephone down on its receiver because you want to send a message to the person on the other end. The same holds true when we intentionally slam a door; it's sending a message to the person on the other side of the door. I'm not going to debate whether or not this is appropriate behaviour, and I'll admit that I have slammed a door or ten in my day. But! One thing I never do is unintentionally slam a door. Why? Because I have had to fix doors from people using them in a forceful manner, and I was taught as a youngster to never forcefully open or shut a door. Metal bends and wood breaks. Screws get loose, and in accordance with the adage of "A stitch in time", the whole door becomes problematic, and needs to be....fixed. So, when I see or hear someone constantly using a door in a repetitious, forceful manner, it leads me to a couple of conclusions......

........the individual who consistently slams a door doesn't care. They know that if something breaks, someone will fix it, and there will be no repercussions.... It's either that, or in their mind everything magically "Heals" or something. Regardless, when you live in the situation that I do, the common etiquette at such an hour (At least) is to ensure that your actions do not have any consequences of irritating others. Or in this case, you close the (Explicit) door quietly, because at 6:30 in the morning there are half a dozen others still sleeping!

So, you can draw your own conclusions, Dear Diary, but I was raised in a family of 8. Can you imagine what life would be like each day if everyone acted the way these grown-ups do? No way! We were taught respect for others, and would have had our butts paddled if we intentionally were acting the way people in this house are conducting themselves.

So, what do I do?

Changing the subject, my iguana just took over my computer desk for an hour. It's now afternoon as I type this, and I gotta get my butt in gear. However, the little guy was seeking attention and decided to crawl out of his cage and come visit me. Watch the video I made.

So, back to how my morning was determined by my girlfriend. She told me she was tired, I told her I was tired, and in the turmoil that resulted from a debate on taking a nap, she made the accusation that the reason I was tired was my fault. Ugh. I'm not going to list the conversation, but I've reread it to ensure that I wasn't misunderstanding her. My fault that I'm tired, which means that the reason the guy above me wears shoes in the morning and slams the door is because of me. Like, what the actual (Explicit)?!?

This will blow over, but it's problematic because of the repetition. I don't know how to address the fact that I cannot physically be at fault for everything that occurs. I'm not sure why this is even a conversation! Like, enough already.......

...so, my day has been set. Woke up by rudeness, and berated by a lover. Now I need to somehow forget all that crap and be positive about life. So, no production today. Not in the mood, and this is just another example of how my creativity is stolen by others.

The sun is shining. I'm going to go do something..... Talk soon.

May 30th
I just want to go on record and state that the rest of my day yesterday was one long continuous bad day. In true form, The Law of Attraction dictated that the negative energy I was sending out into the Universe was being returned to me in the form of hostility, bad luck, close-calls with vehicles on my bike, and zero productivity. Well, that last part isn't true, as I set up a TV and sorted through a pile of DVD players to find out which ones worked. And I fixed a popcorn maker. And did some cleaning.....

....but no creative processes. Just me going through the motions of keeping busy. I went to bed early, not just because I was tired, but also to hopefully reset myself during the night.

The guy upstairs didn't wake me, but Brian did. He had a job to do early this morning and was bustling around in the kitchen before the timer turned on the lights in the iguana enclosure. This is unusual, and although I wanted to shove the microwave up his ass because it BEEP BEEP BEEPS at every touch of a button and to let you know it's irradiated your water enough to make coffee (Like seriously, use a kettle or coffee maker. Radiant heat, not microwave energy is best!) Anywho, he doesn't normally have such early appointments, and I did go to bed without earplugs last night. So, it's my fault..... [Giggles] Ammaright?!

So, I got out of bed and woke up my little Hephestusamazilion. Poor baby! The lights weren't on yet, and here I was pulling his cooled-off reptile body from his perch. I move slow when he's like that, because I know that he can't respond quick with cold limbs and toes. (It's not "cold" - just cold, comparatively). Anyway, I decided to hug him tight and lay back down in bed on my back and him on my chest. Then I pulled the comforter over his scaly body to trap my body heat for him. As I closed my bleary eyes I could feel his little tongue giving me gentle licks on my cheek and chin. Then I felt him lay his head down on my chin, and his whole body relaxed. All of this is a continuation from yesterday, where he decided to go for a walk across my desk twice, and climbed out of his enclosure three times when I tucked him into the bed, all because he wanted to sit beside me and watch me work.

A social iguana enjoys "Hanging out" with the humans that it lives with. A healthy-minded iguana will display all sorts of various behaviours, but wrestles with their limbic brain to overcome natural flight or fight instincts. Insomuch, when you have a social, free-roaming iguana who feels comfortable enough to be integrated into a family's life they will seek out attention, or try to involve themselves in the daily routine. I'm very excited to see the major improvements in Hephestusamazilion, as he proved how much more social he is quickly becoming.....

....don't forget that when I first rescued him he was in bad shape. Scared of everything, falling apart from MBD, and quite weak. Today he is curious, adventuresome, sociable, and routine. He enjoys his daily routine, and I've noticed how irritated he gets when something is different on a particular day. Iguanas speak volumes with their eyes and body language, and it doesn't take a skilled observer to see the different moods and expressions a healthy, tame iguana can make.

So, yea. A decent morning, slowly waking up while cuddling my scale baby. His relaxation and resting his head on my chin felt good for my soul, and I'm sure he did that only because it felt good for him too.We're bonding, big time.

I received a phone message from Cara. She says I misunderstood the text argument. I'm not going to say she's wrong, but that's only because the written word is something that is open to interpretation as I have found out on numerous occasions during written debates. Words matter, and it's because of this potential for problems I don't like using text messages to convey in-depth thought. That, and those keys are so tiny for my thumbs... Much rather have a keyboard, eh? Anyway, I'll give it a day or so, and maybe reread the text message that resulted in my getting frustrated enough to block her so she could send more thoughts on how she feels.

That's really what it is that drives me bonkers; the fact that she bases reality on perception, and doesn't like being told she's wrong. [Chuckles] Well, no one likes being told they are wrong, and I'm probably not very politically correct about the way I do things. So, it's probably true that my attempts to correct misguided perception is met with stoicism based on my delivery. [Shrugs] I dunno, man.... Having to defend myself each day is annoying.

Her behaviour, however, is not unique.

There are experts all over the continent who are attempting to being to light the problems associated with society arising from advancing technology and how it's influencing our behavioural patterns. There are many who see this change of ideals and values as a good thing, desiring to have a world where there is no room for conversation. You can see this evident in Canada's Universities where the leftist movement are constantly shutting down people's ability and right to free-speech. In fact, (And this is where it gets relevant to Canada) the Progressive Conservatives just elected a new leader, Andrew Scheer, who is promising to withhold public funding to any education center that blocks the ability to have a conversation. I quote......

“I will withhold federal grants from universities that shut down debate,” Andrew Scheer said. [SIC] John Carpay, president of the Justice Centre for Constitutional Freedoms, said they welcome Scheer’s commitment. He explained Universities have been too willing to allow someone’s outrage to shut down debate from controversial speakers on Canadian campuses. “There seem to more and more people who think they have a legal right to go through life and not see things or hear things they disagree with.” Carpay argues universities should be a place where all ideas are welcome and open for discussion. "Universities should be teaching people how to think and to simply declare you’re offended and then shut down the conversation, that’s the opposite of thinking.” - READ MORE

.....THIS, ladies and Gentlemen is what I've been saying; that Canadians are being exposed to this stoical frame of mind that prevents debate or conversations from taking place. The anti-Islamaphobia law that passed through congress recently is just another example of this politically correct tide of sentimentality that threatens to destroy Canada.

No, I'm not being over-dramatic. The fall of Rome came from rampant political correctness, and in the same manner, political correctness will destroy Canadian culture. I mean, the land isn't going away, just like there is still evidence of ancient Rome, however, the people, the nation are gone. The glue that held them together was destroyed by the expansion of other cultures into theirs, resulting in the ultimate downfall of government and ending with rampant disease, famine, and bloodshed. This is historical fact, and experts today all know that everything comes to an end. Just like the mighty Ottoman Empire, the United States of America will be no more. Canada, will too cease to exist some day. Right now in Europe you are seeing the change occurring before our eyes, as society moves away from old allegiances and treaties, and toward new ones. All I desire is that Canada, who is celebrating 150 years of Independence this July, manages to make it for another 150 years. I believe that it won't; first it will be the break up of the Western provinces, then Quebec separating to form its own country. In the same way, you will see California splitting from the Unites States in the next few years. It's coming, mark my words. (I'm skipping past all the evidence and politics and just giving you the answer) That is, unless we are embroiled in a war, because wars have a tendency to pull countries together.......

.....experts are now claiming that Canada is a potential haven for terrorist sleeper cells. Due to the new laws recently enacted by Trudeau's Liberal government, and the influx of barely-vetted economic migrants being granted full Canadian status, we can't even criticize anything because debate is simply shut down. Anyone citing facts about Islam is incorrectly called a racist, and the whole conversation is railroaded by perception. Having to defend yourself against accusations of bigotry or racism, as akin to being asked "Have you stopped beating your spouse?" It's a loaded question, as no matter what answer you give, it will indicate that you are either still beating your husband or wife, or that you stopped. It doesn't matter that you may have never laid a hand on your partner, but the moment you engage in that kind of rhetoric you have already lost. THIS is what the politically correct movement is doing, and it doesn't matter if it's regarding religion, race, or sex, there is no ability to debate.

Two wrongs never make a right.

Catholicism is guilty of some horrendous historical events, however, the leaders of Canada and even the Vatican itself are making reparation for their past misdoings. This is a good thing, but it will never bring back those who were killed or tortured in the name of Christianity, or the expansion of the various countries that conquered the world in the name of Christendom. In that same way, those of the Muslimic faith need to rise up and declare together that the extremists currently assaulting Europe, the Middle East, the Philippines, Africa, and threatening North America, do not represent their beliefs. This isn't being done, however, as many of the Islamic leaders are more content to continue to fight each other over various sects in the Muslim denomination. Proxy wars fueled by Russia and United States prevent stability in the region, and since criticism is now illegal in Canada, the ability to solve this problem is being thwarted, as is the ability for Canada to defend itself from attacks from within the country.

Mark my words; the storm is coming.

Don't believe me? Go do the research for yourself. Just a fair warning, you have to claw past all the propaganda, and that can be difficult as main-stream media is censored. Here's an example.....

....let's say that there's a missile strike on enemy combatants in a war torn region. The Canadian soldiers rush forward to find a whole regiment of the terrorist organization destroyed, along with a few civilians the militants were using as human-shields. While this hypothetical incident would have prevented the loss of Canadian lives, you can be certain the CBC headlines would read, "Missile Strike kills Civilians", whereas, Al Jazeera would write, "Canadian Forces Assist in the Recapture of Important Military Stronghold"..

See? Leftist ideology vs Centralist. Stay away from alt-right sites, as that'll warp your mind as much as alt-left... AKA the individuals and organizations that ban debate or cannot have a conversation.

I should go. I have a Doctor appointment today in the early afternoon, and it looks to be a nice day. Hopefully I'll get some writing done, and maybe even some yard-work. Have a great day, everyone!

THIS IS THE END OF CHAPTER THIRTEEN. IF YOU HAVE ENJOYED READING THIS JOURNAL AND WISH TO CONTINUE THE ADVENTURE, PLEASE TURN TO CHAPTER FOURTEEN.

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