Obscure Arcanum - Chapter Fifteen

A DIARY (also called a journal) is a record (originally in handwritten format) with discrete entries arranged by date reporting on what has happened over the course of a day or other period. A personal diary may include a person's experiences, and/or thoughts or feelings, including comment on current events outside the writer's direct experience. Someone who keeps a diary is known as a diarist.


Have you ever wanted to read someone's diary? Here's your chance...Is this your first time here? It's always best to start at the beginning.

Why do I keep a diary?

In retrospect, this whole blog is one big online diary; from my earliest attempts to share my thoughts with the world, to short stories, poems, full length novels, and a few different types of journals, I have been documenting my life and the world I live in, since 2006. The "Turn the Page" series explained how I came to live in Southern Ontario, and an earlier journal entitled, "Between the Bars of a Jail Cell" was not only my debut to diary keeping, but also a great way to burn away the time I spent incarcerated for crimes I didn't commit. "Fire-bombed" explains how I became homeless three times in a month-and-a-half.

That's what this all is; a record keeping process that keeps me grounded. As I read through my work I can get a better sense of who I am as an individual and how my life is evolving, and that's a very helpful tool indeed! Through my words I can get a clear sense of my mindset, emotional state, and focus. It's easy to see when there are dark times in my life, and you can definitely tell when things are going well.

Just a quick note regarding my integrity in this journal;

A) Once something is written / posted, I will not delete it or try to fix it in some way. I feel strongly about this, because it's usually during the times of extreme duress and frustration that I expose my raw emotions the most. Once my work has been witnessed by others, it would be akin to online trolling using a "Bait and Switch" tactic if I were to post something untrue or even libel and then erase it. Regardless of the legality of the situation, and / or the current punishment for posting any such information, there's my own personal integrity to take into consideration. I set the bar high for myself in all things, and my diary is to remain as unmodified as absolutely possible for prosperity sake. (To date there have been only three times I have deleted / switched content in my journals - They were done for extreme reasons)

2) I will not use names in my entries without asking first. Events and / or details can be used, however, any mention of names will be done only with verbal permission.

D) I don't write about every single little thing that I do. Now, this is due to the simplistic fact that I'm certain most people don't care about all the mundane aspects of my life. On the flip side, I don't give away all my secrets...

......So as long as you understand how this works we should have a good time! You are welcome to email me or even text.  If you want to, you can always look me up on social media. After all, I am the only Zzorhn on the planet.

This Diary was originally intended to be a way for loved ones to keep track of me when I moved from North-Western Ontario in 2014. Since that day I have discovered that many others from all walks of life enjoy to read my daily entries, so I kept writing. What was supposed to be a simple social experiment morphed into something much more, and I now receive letters and pictures from all over the world!

Chapter Fifteen!! Who would have thought I would come this far? My diary entries have become a habit for me, but I know for a fact that I wouldn't have come this far if it wasn't for all the people that visit my website, read my work, buy my books, and take the time to write back to me. Hearing from people all over the planet brings me a sense of wholeness and worldly community, and I am pleased to have met so many wonderful people! The fact that I am on Chapter Fifteen is two-fold; my life HAS changed since the last Chapter, as well as, I've had three people tell me that it was time to start a new chapter because fourteen was becoming quite lengthy.

Not every chapter in your life will be happy. As you read through the different chapters in my life, you can tell the times I am struggling and the times I'm happy. It's during the times of anguish and pain that I remind myself of an old adage regarding finding happiness.....

.......Everyone wants to be happy. Most people will say, "I want happiness", however, a smart person will realize you have to remove one's ego, by taking out the word "I", and you need to remove desire by taking out the word "want". Only then, are you left with "Happiness".

We all make mistakes in life. I certainly make mistakes, and it's fortunate that I have the tools like my written diary to review so that I can see my past mistakes and try to change. As I grow and learn, there are going to be moments where I feel weak, just as there are going to be wonderfully grandiose moments. Due to my drive to become a better individual, these mere diary entries become a success story detailing the hardships and triumphs along the way.

This is my success story.

I started writing at a very early age. By the tender age of 7 years-old I was creating complex universes and mythical monsters for others to enjoy. While much of my adventures were used for role playing games, I also did quite well in school when it came to writing reports and stories. After four decades of putting pen to paper it's safe to say that while there is still quite a bit of room for improvement, my skills as an author have become very established. For most of my childhood I was limited to hand-writing everything, as computers didn't become a house-hold item until I was 15. Can you imagine writing everything by hand, and then having to rewrite copies? I can still remember the joy I felt when I discovered the Church's photocopier for the first time! Using a computer to write was exciting for so many reasons, and the idea of printing copies of my work made me giddy. Needless to say, I took to computers faster than a pack of dogs on a three-legged cat. It was at least another 5 years before we hooked up a computer to the Internet for the first time, but, once online I quickly adapted. Taking my debate skills from High-school, my writing skills from countless articles and stories, and my desire to explore this strange, new, virtual world, I entered into debate forums with exuberance. In no time at all I had developed an online persona based on integrity of profile, fact-checking, and my ability to throw people around with the use of the written word.

One thing I have noticed about the Obscure Arcanum series, is that over time I am beginning to make more references to worldly issues. This is being done for two main reasons. The first reason why I am mentioning more politics is because I believe we are living in a transitional era of humanity, and the second reason I am making references to worldly issues is due to my desire to bring the truth to others who may not have the ability to see past the propaganda and rhetoric of mainstream media. From climate change to proxy wars and the subsequent mass illegal-immigration, this planet is being changed before my very eyes, and I believe that as a journalist and author it is my duty to record these occurrences for prosperity.

 To date, over FORTY-FOUR THOUSAND people have visited my website! My goal to become world-renown is being achieved, and it's only through the help and support of people like you that I am able to continue chasing my dreams. Thank you for helping make this such a huge success!

If you haven't taken the time to read my other diary entries I suggest you do. Jumping into the middle of any story isn't as much fun as starting from the beginning. Don't forget all my free short stories that I have published for your reading pleasure. My favourites are "I Wish""Don't Read This""Two Doors", "One Last Ride""The Man and the Birds", and who can forget the ever-popular "Jell-O Shooter" instructional article featuring 72 types of different shooters. If you choose to go online to Amazon, there are even more stories of greater length for you to enjoy, along with a full length novel and a complete screen-play! There's lots to see and read, and I just hope you get as much pleasure reading my stories as I do sharing them with you. Thank you, again.

Zzorhn

August 12th - 9 PM
Chapter Fifteen!

I'm writing this entry later than usual. I've had a decent day; spent time with the in-laws, PLUS helped them with a bit of work on the back deck. The sun was actually shining in the afternoon, and we had BBQ for supper.

Interesting side-note regarding supper.... It was burnt... BBQ carbonated. AND, it caused a bit of a stir at the dinner table....

....now, I ate my two pieces of very-dry breast-meat (chicken -  prefer dark meat) that was scorched with black carbon without making a comment. In fact, I believe I lied and said it was "Good". Meanwhile, a few family members made comments about the condition of the meal, and.... consequently the person who cooked the food felt a bit.... Well.... Upset, as she should have been. Why?

BBQing is NOT just cooking food.

Anyone can cook over a stove.... Well, not everyone... But with with the sterile environment, ease of utensils, and the fact that everything is in the kitchen makes it much easier than having to cook a meal outdoors......

....there's the lugging of raw food, sauces, flippers, tongs, plates, and much more that warrant a trip or two back and forth, culminated with a flame providing an uneven cooking surface..... No WONDER it's a tricky thing to properly use a BBQ.

But!! Let's not forget abut prestige and pride. A BBQ is something reserved for special moments. Not only does it take extra preparation time, but it's much more work to use the BBQ. Those that can successfully navigate themselves around a BBQ carry a sense of pride. After all, it takes work and dedication to learn how to cook and flame-broil, BUT, not burn meat.....

....and someone's pride was injured today.

Apparently I was volunteered to go back to Cara's Grandparent's house to do more work  tomorrow. God! I love her, and her family is pretty awesome....

.......but, there's stuff to do, dammit.

Look at me complaining that I have a family....... A few chapters ago I was crying for one....

.....funny how time works, eh?

August 13th
Not having a good day so far. My health is doing the normal pain-thing, but the reason I'm having a rough morning is because I slept in....

....I stayed awake until late; same reasons.... Saturday night, and everyone was prowling around making noise. For some reason I didn't wake up to the lights and radio turning on, the neighbours usual routine of drinking coffee outside and talking loudly, and even my abdomen was fairly co-operative this morning......

.....and I woke up two hours later than I wanted to.

I didn't set an alarm to ensure I would have enough time to go through my "Three Hour Routine", because it's normally not an issue..... I'm awake at 5-7 AM for various reasons, and felt no need to manually set an alarm.

Why was it so important to be awake and functional at a certain time? Because, Dear Diary, I had made plans with Cara's Grandparents to help them with renovations. Now I'm sitting here late in the morning, still cramping even though I've had my first medication session, and Cara and the kidlet are gone to do physical labour.

This is what I'm talking about when I speak of hating my disability!

The topic itself is shitty (That's a pun - I have three intestinal issues) To help with my health problems I take two types of medication; an anti-depressant that has side-effects that help with regulating my bowels, and the other is marijuana that helps with bloating and pain. I have a government-issued marijuana card that allows me to legally purchase my medication, which is a great thing. You know what would be even better than being issued a medical marijuana card? Not having to NEED a medical marijuana card.

So, I feel like crap because I missed out on the chance to go and help Cara's family. It's not like I could even have opted out of work and went to Belegarth (Medieval fighting class). I feel like I've wasted half my day and let everyone down.

So, yea. I was grumpy this morning, and it seemed like once I started having a bad day it simply did a nose-dive to the negative side of things. Damn that "Law of Attraction"....

.....The Law of Attraction - The belief is based on the idea that people and their thoughts are both made from "pure energy", and that through the process of "like energy attracting like energy" a person can improve their own health, wealth and personal relationships.

Even now I can feel the lingering effect of the negative wash of energy that came over me this morning. It sucks... Leaves you feel guilty, and even physically tired......

.......I know I'm not a morning person, but this morning just went wrong. The owness is on me to attempt to curb these kinds of days. I guess the big question I have to ask is "What could I have done differently?" Besides setting an alarm to ensure I was up, I guess I could have tried to go to sleep earlier with a set of earplugs in. I hate sleeping with earplugs in. The first time I had to do so was when I was in jail, and the connotation of feeling oppressed when I am forced to wear them still lingers even to this day. Anyway, I have to try hard to not allow my mornings to affect the others in my house.

So, no sword-fighting class, and I'm across the town from Cara's Grandparent's house. [Sighs]

There was a domestic terrorist attack yesterday in Charlottetown, Virginia, USA.... A man rammed his car into a crowd of left-wing anti-protesters who had shown up because of a protest over the removal of a General Lee monument. People died, and many more were injured..... President Trump denounced the violence on "Both sides"....... Something the previous President never would have done. By condemning both the left and right-wing violence he is actually doing his job to clean up the racial division fueled by Obama. I pray for the racism and violence to end, but I also hope that common sense prevails and that the historical monuments are left alone!

"Those who fail to learn history correctly are doomed to repeat it". Is it irony that the icons of civil war are now fueling a race war? Half want to keep the reminders of the past, while the other half is offended by symbolism, and fueled by mainstream media to become emboldened to destroy history in some twisted attempt to rewrite it..... Tear down the monuments that helped define the country because a few people don't like it, and feel offended....... What those race-baiters fail to understand is that their actions and words are those of a bigot...... And yet they condemn anyone attempting to bring these issues to light. Like, I cannot roll my eyes in annoyance any harder without causing permanent injury........

......Well, instead of sitting here sulking I should get up and become productive. There are a few projects I could tackle... Maybe even see if there's a way to get across the city... Or something...

.....Have a good one, eh?

August 14th
Morning, Dear Diary. I'm having another rough morning, and I slept like crap again. I was woke up twice by Cara, and four times by cats. One cat even chose to jump on my back with its claws extended, tearing into my back. I awoke irritated, exhausted, and fell back into a negative mood....

.....but then, I forced myself to be positive about things before my attitude completely wrecked the rest of my day.

I need sleep. I'm finding it hard to function with broken sleep patterns, both physically and mentally.

I'm supposed to go back to the house this morning and check up on things. From what I've heard from Brian this weekend, the drama continues to unfold unabated. On a similar note, the drama continues to unfold at the apartment, and I am now contentious of making certain of avoiding contact with the belligerent neighbours that party outside from morning until night. They were at it again last night, well past the city's bylaw for noise violations.

Whatever! The only person I can control is myself.

On the International side of things, many countries are recalling ambassadors from potential war-zones, like North Korea. Even Russia and United States are kicking out each others ambassadors, and then taking over the various facilities. Japan, South Korea, and a few other Asian nations are preparing for nuclear war and the subsequent fall-out. From running military drills to educating the civilian population, there is a sense of urgency and great concern, as there should be. Even countries in Europe are making declarations of allegiances, as well as, readying their military and public.....

.....the world is bracing for what everyone deems inevitable.

Remember those 1950 PSA for children where they were trained to take cover under their desk and shield their eyes? Right now such short films are being shown in schools all over the world. People are stocking bunkers, and preparing for the worst.....

...and the other half is too busy playing on their cell phones to care.

New information has emerged regarding the violent incident in Virginia; the legal rally by a group calling to "Unite the Right" was thwarted by Antifa and BLM. Naturally, violence ensued as the two opposing sides clashed. While the claims that there was many individuals from out of town coming to the legal rally, it's also true that BLM and ANTIFA staged their counter-protest to purposely shut down the rally. They too were bused in from out of state, but for some mind-blowing reason the mainstream media is only focused on one group... The Alt-right...... Now, I get that one man used a vehicle to commit a terrorist act during the violent confrontation, but to only focus on that incident alone and call for an end to "Right-wing Extremists" is bias and calculated..... BOTH sides need to be condemned for their violence and hate! Anyway, the whole town is on edge again, and the National Guard has been called in to keep the peace.

Canada managed to get their Pastor back from North Korea. A few Canadians were killed in Mexico while on vacation.... My only thoughts to these and other similar incidents is simple; stay in Canada, and if you leave you do so at your own peril. Right now isn't a good time to be going anywhere... Take a "Stay-cation in Canada" if you need to travel.....

......Hell! From the looks of things, it would be better to stay home and start digging a bomb-shelter.

All joking aside, the world is currently sitting on a precipice. I hope that things work out peacefully, and history will look back at this moment in time much like the missile crisis in Cuba, or the Cold-war era with so many of its close-calls and moments of heightened tension..... Instead of ending up as the time the world as we know it came to violent, radioactive end. Our children will judge us for these moments, just like we judge our predecessors....

....and believe you and me, there is quite a lot to be judged for!

How would you describe the fossil-fuel era to your future Great-Great-Grandchildren? What would you say about the use of nuclear energy companies to hide the militarization of nuclear power, and the waste products produced by these mass weapons of war? When you look into your future offspring's eyes, how can you explain that their culture was once radically different, but was completely altered by lax immigration and border security? What if we end up fighting a nuclear war? What would you say then?

Most people would argue that by that time it doesn't matter; "Change is inevitable", or so the saying goes. When you couple change with a politically correct agenda, however, it leads to a run-away chain of events that is known to cripple whole nations....

....What makes me say that? Because, History!

Anyway, I should get going. Time's a-tickin, and things aren't going to get done all by themselves. Hope you have a great week!

August 16th
Good morning, Dear Diary. The sun is shining brightly, and the temperatures are supposed to be in the high twenties. How am I enjoying the gorgeous weather? By volunteering to go help Brian clean a shed. My plans for today was to lower Hephestusamazilion's lighting, as well as, cleaning the house a bit.....

.....oh well. I can work on the lights when I get back, I guess.

I've had a sharp pain in my intestines this morning. It's late in the morning as I write this, and I'm now limited as to how much time I have. It took two medication sessions to get the pain to go away, but at least now I can move and such...........

......moving on to another topic...... I crafted my little iggy a new water and food dish. Using my previous experience from when Cara and I crafted the iguana enclosure's water basin, I used a plastic boot-mat for a base, expansion foam for the fake rocks, and a plastic liner for the water bowl. With the aquarium filter I've been saving, I created a rippling pool of crystal-clear water with a small, splashing waterfall.....

....Heffy is scared shitless of it. [Heavy sigh]

We've been through this before, Dear Diary. When I built Hephestusamazilion a roost he refused to go near it at first. My attempts to acclimate him were a bit of a wrestling match, but curiosity and time changed his mind. I imagine this will be exactly the same thing, where a timid, coddled iguana takes his time to get used to a trickling pool of water.

Well, speaking of time... I have to go. No time for myself or any of my projects.... But I need to focus on ensuring Hephestusamazilion is getting the right amount of light. That's my priority when I get home.

Hope you have a wonderful Hump-Day! We'll talk soon.

August 17th

The thick, black smoke hung over the city like a blanket. Various fires had erupted across London, Ontario, in the wake of the attack. Whole city blocks lay in ruins, and more than a few skyscrapers had been reduced to rubble.

It had been a swift, vicious, unexpected attack that left the Canadian city reeling.

I realized in the aftermath that there wasn't much more that I could have done. After all, had I not engaged with the invading force there would have been nothing left; London would have wiped completely off the map! However, as I stood atop the shattered remains of one of the only buildings remaining on Dundas Street surveying the devastation below, the victory felt quite hollow.
Emergency respondents were hard-pressed to react to all the disasters taking place at once, and the sirens droned on and on throughout the night. In the roar of the infernos, the screams of the wounded and dying, and the ever-present emergency responders, I took a moment to catch my breath.

Suddenly, I remembered the City council I had forcefully locked up at City Hall for their protection. During the firefight downtown, I had blocked an attempt to kill everyone in the building, including the Mayor. They had all responded to the disaster, but were quickly turned on by the army sweeping the city. To save them, I sealed them in the giant vault below the Town Hall.

You would expect people to be grateful when you save their life and take out the army threatening the city, but not this time. When I unlocked the giant door leading to the vault, the Mayor and the town councilors turned on me like a pack of rabid dogs! They yelled slurs at me, mocked me, and issued all sorts of threats.

Shaking my head in disbelief at their ungrateful attitudes, I turned to leave. That's when the Mayor of London snarled at me, something like, "I'm going to sue you for everything you've got".

I'm not certain what came over me, but something inside of me snapped.

The Mayor was standing with thier back against the metal door leading to the vault, when my hand shot up from my side to grab the Mayor's head, and slammed it into the metal door. The Mayor's head exploded like a watermelon being shot by a high-velocity rifle bullet, and was dead before they hit the floor.

Then I woke up..............

...........and for the next hour felt guilty about killing someone in cold blood in my dreams.

If you haven't read my book entitled, "The Perils of Power", I suggest you do. In it, the main character discovers the ability to cast magic, and falls victim to the power. In my lucid dream-state I can cast fireballs, levitate or fly, and do wondrous things. In my dreams I often save the world......

.......either by myself or with an army backing me up, I have engaged in some earth-shattering battles. I guess killing one politician shouldn't give me much grief....

....[laughs] But! it does! All day long I have been haunted by this feeling like I'm expecting some authority figure to show up knocking at the door to haul me away. Isn't it funny how dreams can impact your whole day?

Anyway, I do have to get going. I have to clean the house and do the laundry. I managed to get Hephestusamazilion's lights fixed yesterday, so that's good.

Have a great day!

August 18th
Good morning, Dear Diary. I only woke up once last night, and actually feel pretty decent this morning. As I sit here at my desk typing, I can glance over at the slumbering body of Miss Cara, and I feel at peace with the world. My lot in life of having a chronic disability has been balanced by a keen wit. Here's an interesting fun-fact, Dear Diary; had I not ended up with a life-long disability I wouldn't have ended up losing everything, ending up severely depressed and awaiting death, only to be rescued by my family and Diane to move to London whereupon I received better diagnosis and a prescription that allows me to deal with each day.... And I never would have met Cara......

...funny how life works, eh?

I am exactly where I am supposed to be. God has provided me with everything I need, and although there are trials and tribulations in my life, they are apparently nothing more than I can handle. In this, I feel balanced; both physically and spiritually.

I do have a confession regarding Religion..... While I was raised a Christian by my parents, I was never one to sit idle when it came to learning about the various Religions on the planet, and in my studies discovered that the concept of the Bahá’í faith most closely resembles my understanding of God..... Basically, the tenants of the Bahá’í is that all Religions are correct, each one is simply a reflection of the manifestations of the Divine and how their interactions have created a diversity of Religious practises. The more I learn about Religion and how it came to be in different cultures, I am starting to see that NOT all Religions ARE in fact equal........

.......as well as, I'm starting to practice some forms of paganism.

Don't get all shocked, Dear Diary. Every single one of us Canadians practice some form of paganism, especially during holidays. Most of the traditions we know and in many cases, love, come from pagan roots. Does this make our traditions any less effective in worshiping our Divine Creator? No. In fact, it is the traditions that we hand down from generation to generation that make up the faith community. A little girl singing happily off-key is still precious to God, and is for Him, a joyful noise onto the Lord... It doesn't matter if you're singing off-key, and it doesn't matter of what practises you participate in to celebrate God, but rather HOW you approach the ceremony of holiday celebrations and worship; only with an open mind and a heart full of love, can you be properly prepared to receive the Holy Spirit into your life. It doesn't matter if you call him Jehovah, God, or even Gitchi-Manitou, the Divine hears all prayers from all walks of life.

And, so it is with clarity of mind that I examine the practises of the various Religions today, and can state with no reservation that there is an inherent problem with the concept that all religious tenants are equal.......

.......here's the issue; ANYTHING can become twisted and perverted. What someone might deem as "Love", actually means isolating their love-interests, abuse, and manipulation and control. So, now that we understand that concepts like "Peace", "Love", and "Tolerance" can be twisted and perverted to suit an organizations needs, I would like to point out that I am not speaking about any particular religion when I state that extremism destroys the integrity of the religion in question. During the Middle Ages it was Christianity that became twisted and used for many evil purposes, including burning heretics at the stake, crucifixion, the killing of non-believers, and the torture of untold millions. Today, Islam is the enemy of the free-world. much like how Christianity was used as a weapon to quell the masses and instill fear, the tenants of Islam are an effective tool to infiltrate, wage religious wars, overthrow governments, and eradicate all non-believers.....

........Christianity was used for evil, but has since made a comeback from it's former disgrace. If the Arabic world truly wishes to become part of the rest of the world community it needs to realize that all tenants of Islam are incongruent with today's society, and completely renounce the practice of Islam. A complete reform of the Arabic faith is required before they will ever be able to participate in a co-operative community..... But, I don't see that happening... In fact, the complete opposite is occurring.

Another terrorist attack yesterday, this time in Barcelona, Spain. A couple of ISIS militants drove a van at high speeds through a crowded market and killed 13 people, and injured a hundred more. At the same time, Spanish Police responded to a massive explosion, in which they believe was related. The authorities believe the explosives were to be used by the same group, and they suffered some sort of premature detonation......

.....i can't imagine what it must be like to lose someone special in such a horrific way. My heart and my prayers go out to the families and loved ones affected by this, and I hope that those injured will have a speedy recovery!

The time for political correctness is over!

For too long the people in North America have stood idle by and watched as their combined governments practically handed the country to foreigners. While the Canadian Prime minister is still an embarrassment, the USA President is gaining some serious ground as he tackles each problem that arises with a centralist view-point. Sure, he's a hot-head, but he's proving to be an effective leader. The fact that the American President is calling out BOTH sides of the extremist scale is actually a breath of fresh air from a government that typically takes sides when there's civil unrest. Remember "Clock-boy" a few years ago? When Obama invited a young boy from the Middle East to the White House because he built a device that resembled a bomb and took it to school, and SHOCKINGLY was arrested and escorted from the school grounds, he took pity on the boy and sent the invitation because of the religious background and colour of the boy's skin. Yes, Obama was a racist, and his executive orders as President proved that time and again. Having an individual in charge who doesn't take sides in this polarized problem in North America is what we ALL need right now! If you have any doubt of this claim, look at how divided Canada is and the failed measures of the Trudeau government to address the issue. HELL! Justin has practically thrown the Native communities under  the bus with his failed approach at researching "Murdered and missing Indigenous women", like he promised. His policies at establishing a working relationship with the Native community are also falling short. Border security? No way! Over two hundred or more people cross into Canada illegally EVERY DAY, and Trudeau keeps making grandiose statements about "Welcoming refugees". This all has to be paid for, and it's only by the Canadian tax-payers breaking their backs to stay ahead in an inflated commercialized country, do these social programs even exist! Canadians can't keep forking over money to people from other countries! At what point do you give your head a shake?

It is my sincere wish that out of all this mess comes a realization that doing things the way we've always done simply isn't going to work in this century. We need to rise up as proud Nationalists and declare in one voice that we are done with the governments giving away our money and our country to other nations! It's time to start thinking about protecting our OWN needs, as well as, safeguarding our traditions and beliefs that have made us who we are as Canadians! I just hope that at the end of the next 150 years Canada will still be known as maple-syrup guzzlin', moose-riding, hockey-playing nation that can kick your ass, but will probably just buy you a beer, eh?.........

....but I seriously doubt it, because I can already see the writing on the wall. The Canada I knew and loved is not that way anymore.......

.....On that note I should jet. We'll talk soon.

August 19th - 4 pm
Good afternoon, Dear Diary. I'm well, thank you, and the only reason I'm writing this entry much later than usual is because I found myself exceptionally busy this morning.

It's like my disability took a bit of a day off. Don't get me wrong, Dear Diary, because I was still in pain and such, but it was minimal compared to my usual day. Due to this I found myself able to do more, and didn't feel the need to sit and do my morning routine.

I'm cooking a turkey today. The goal is to split it up; the good parts for supper, and some for leftovers, as well as, freezing the not-so-good parts for making soup. Cara likes to make soup.

I went and donated blood yesterday. Due to the fact I am blood type O-Negative they call me every 56 days to go and donate. I feel like a hero when I do so, and I fully endorse everyone to go and donate as well. Give blood..... It's in you to give.

Unsettled day, but there's no rain. Lots of wind, however.

So, yea... I feel good today, and I'm going to tackle the new art project I'm working on... The HYDRA..... You'll see, Dear Diary. Don't worry.

Short entry, but I'm busier than a cat trying to cover poop on a marble floor. We'll talk soon.

August 21st
I'm having a really off-day, Dear Diary, but it's all my own fault. Don't worry... No problems, save a severe hang-over.... I did something yesterday that I haven't done since I arrived in London...... Party all day.

I better start at the beginning.....

......On Saturday night Cara wanted to go out to the bar. [Shrugs] We haven't done that in forever, so I figured "Why not?" We only purchased two pitchers of beer, but in that time at the bar we met a couple of guys and instantly became friends. The next day, Sunday, they came over to visit at 11 AM, and we ordered some beer..... A few hours later there was another beer order..... And a couple hours later a bottle of vodka was delivered..... Like...... Wow!

I haven't drank like that since I lived in North-Western Ontario, years before my health took a dive.... So... 2007-2009 ish......

.......but! I'm really paying for it. I guess it's true that I'm not a young man. [Laughs] Party like a teenager, only to realize the ol' body doesn't bounce back like one. The good news is that I haven't been super sick or anything.... In fact, it's like my disability isn't impacted by alcohol at all. I guess that's good.

God, I feel like hammered crap. Memo to me: You are not a young man, and trying to drink shot for shot with guys 10 years younger probably isn't going to end well...... Just saying.

Oh well. As I said, it's been years since I got so drunk that I woke up in my bed not knowing how I got to bed. I guess I can be forgiven......

......moving on..... The Universe is lining up again, as I'm finding people are rising up to openly disagree with me, and taking severe offense when I spank them in a debate. In the last 24 hours I've had two online friends "Block" me on social media. Another friend called me a "Violent, racist, right-wing" on a public forum. Here's my response.....

"....It's funny that I get called a racist or a bigot because I'm a Nationalist. People do it all the time. At first it was irritating, but now I realize that it's the colour of my skin that makes people think I'm a racist. [Laughs] "Must be racist because I'm white"..... Heard that before..... Oh, and I like my head shaved.. "Must be a Nazi"... right? Or is it because I'm vocal about national security and have been debating that topic online since 1998 that people assume I'm anti-immigrant. [Laughs] What's so wrong with wanting people to enter the country legally? Or is it because I've become anti-Trudeau because of his shitshow as Canada's PM, and I'm openly vocal about it? Or that I see the fascism sweeping across USA and Canada, disguised as anti-fascism? And I tend to call a spade for what it is? Just curious what makes you call me " violent, racist, alt-right.".....

...being as I haven't displayed any violence or racism. o.O ...And publicly disprove of racists.... "

Anyway, I guess you can't take a political stance without becoming someone else's ire.

I'm dizzy. I think I need to go lay down....... [Sigh] Talk soon.

August 22nd
Good morning, Dear Diary. There's a thunderstorm in the forecast, so it looks like an indoors kind-of-day.

I've had an epiphany... Like lightning struck my brain and set things aflame........

.........You all know I have a message; it's why I do the things I do. My love of debate is bolstered by the fact I am endevouring to bring light to a dark world. It's something I've been doing since 1998, and I don't foresee me suddenly becoming complacent and silent. HOWEVER, it's come to my attention that perhaps my message is becoming lost within what can easily be deemed as "Cynical language". While I personally believe I am a realist, I often get called a cynic. The epiphany I've had is a realization that I cannot properly convey my personal message.... If people choose to ignore me due to the way my message is being presented....

....add social media algorithms into the mix and suddenly it's become apparent that anything I am trying to say is falling on deaf ears, or is perhaps outright ignored by many. So it is that I am going to try hard to spread my concerns and talking points through positive memes and posts. Who knows? It may not only attract the attention of other followers, but it may also have a positive effect on me.....

.......for example; I have been quite vocal about condemning the White Supremacists who have been recently rallying in the United States, but I've also been calling out the fascist ANITFA organization, BLM, The Black Panthers, as well as, "The Proud Boys" in Canada's East, and Soldiers of Odin in Ireland (Not to be confused with the Sons of Odin in Western Canada). I know for a fact that racism exists in North America, not just between Caucasians and those of colour, but also anti-semetic sentiments, as well as, blatant prejudice toward all Muslims. Hate runs deep it seems through the fiber of many people, and unfortunately when you attempt to address the controversial issue you end up becoming associated with those you condemn....

....."If you stare into the eyes of a monster long enough, you begin to realize that the monster is staring right back at you." - R. A. Salvator

From now I am going to attempt to address things from a positive perspective. Instead of calling out the hate and placing blame directly on one particular group or political party, I'll be spreading messages of hope...... Don't worry, Dear Diary, I'll still keep speaking my mind when it comes to you......

....but I know that if I want to send out my message of a need for change in the human race and the planet, I'm going to be using positivity to do so, rather than slapping people around with mere facts. As the saying goes, "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar"........

......I guess someone forgot to tell the original author of that phrase that you actually catch more flies with fecal matter. [Laughs] Does that explain mainstream media? Or what?


What is my message?

While racism and violence are indeed major topics, if I had my chance to educate the planet it would be on topics of nuclear war, the irradiation of our planet by nuclear disasters and weapon testing, the sixth mass extinction we are currently involved in and largely responsible for, globalization via the elite's agenda, food and water wars, and the need for clean electricity.

Important issues, eh?

Canada recently announced that 50% of Canadians will die from cancer, which is not a shock considering the poisoning of our air, water, and land with nuclear particles, but oddly there's not one mention of the sources. So, while the mainstream, media is content to spread the Health Minister's message about the growing cancer rate in Canada, they refuse to address the reasons why.

Did you know that Google, Facebook, and even Snopes is starting to censor information? It's not the just the government lying to the people, but giant corporations are now limiting free-speech. The war on free-speech is real, make no mistake. It started in the universities and has spilled into society. No longer can people talk about issues, and simply shut down the conversation or have visiting speakers cancelled. THIS is what the world is coming to..... And the slope is being heavily waxed by evil men seeking globalism.

Let's face it; I am just one voice, but I get my sources from very educated men and women.

I gotta go. I want to get a jump on my artwork today, so I'll talk to you later. Have a great day!


August 26th
Good morning, Dear Diary. The sun is shining, but there's a nip of Fall in the morning air. I slept decently, and had a fairly enjoyable morning listening to news and talking to Cara. I bathed and fed both iguanas, but somehow they both ended up in the bedroom, and have been hanging out with us all morning. Konika even draped herself over Cara's body to cuddle, while Hephestusamazilion delighted in bobbing his head at everyone high up on his perch. A cat even jumped into the bed and joined in on the cuddle session.

Cara and I shared, laughed, debated, and basked in each other's presence. A good start to any day.

Yesterday Cara and I went to her Grandparent's house, and we helped them tear apart their deck so they can rebuild it. It feels good to help, but by the end I was beginning to cramp up severely, and even medicating didn't seem to help.

I have a couple of medical appointments coming up in the next month. Even after all this time they still don't seem to have a clue as to what is really wrong with my intestines. They know what I HAVEN'T got, but the original cause still remains a mystery.

There's a protest planned for today in downtown London by a group called, "We Value our Culture", or, "Freedom Rally".  It's basically natural-born Canadians and Christians taking to Richmond Street to protest against the Islamification of Canada. I was personally invited as I know a few of the people planning on attending due to past online debates. I REALLY want to go, but I've been warned by a few other friends to stay away, because it's quite possible that there is going to be counter-protesters and someone is going to get injured or arrested. The last thing I need right now is to get arrested, because it would cripple my professional image as an actor. I'm a social warrior, but I'm also an author and actor who needs to keep his image fairly clean for obvious reasons. STILL! I feel like I'm letting down those who are marching to protect Canadian values and culture. Guess I'll have to content myself with watching from the side-lines... If I can make it uptown in time and in decent health. We'll see......

......I do believe it's important to get your voice heard. Whether you agree with the organized protest this afternoon or not, THIS is democracy in action. Anyone calling for a shut-down of the event is essentially desiring to silence what they don't like or find offensive.......

.......Are you offended? So fucking what! Being offended doesn't give you any special rights or freedoms. It also doesn't mean you get to silence others because your feelings are hurt. As I keep saying over and over again, just because you feel a certain way doesn't make it valid.

Did you know that Google has CHANGED DEFINITIONS of certain words and key-phrases? Did you know that Youtube is cancelling some individuals ability to make money because of their content? There's content I've been debating for over a decade that are no longer the same according to Google, who have reacted to bill M-103 and other leftist laws that essentially silence the opposition! THIS IS WAR, Dear Diary, make no mistake about that! We are undergoing a cyberwar right now, ushered in quietly by the people in charge of safe-guarding the country!!! Our own government is attacking Canadian traditions and culture, and using the Internet to wage war on Canadians.

On a political note, I am watching the new Conservative leader, and I'm pretty impressed by what I see. Guess we'll have to wait and see how things unfold in Canada leading up to the next election in 2019.

On the International stage, North Korea, who is upset over the "War games" being held by South Korea and the United States from August 21-29th, decided to stage a protest by firing three short-range missiles.......

....the first one fizzled on launch and the other two failed during flight, splashing down harmlessly in the Japan Sea. What was the reaction from the International community? Nothing.... Like, why bother... Kim Jong-un just threw a temper-tantrum and fell flat on his face in front of the whole world. [Snickers] No need to shoot down the missiles if they can't make it off the launch-pad, eh?

I gotta go. I've been sitting here for a few hours now, and I'm getting nothing done it seems. My health issues have kicked me in the gut, and I'm sulking from the pain. I need medication, but the good news is Brian may come to my rescue this afternoon. It'll be good to see him again.

Hope you are having a great weekend, and we'll talk later.

August 29th
No time to write, because everyone keeps volunteering me to do stuff. Between helping Cara's Grandparents and trying to keep things somewhat clean in the house, I'm doing no writing or crafting.

August 30th
Yesterday was Cara's day, and today is Brian's. I guess it's good to help people, but what they keep failing to realize is just how crippled I really am. For example, I was forced to leave the house extra early yesterday, and even though I spent 3 hours trying to do my "Routine", I was still cramping and needing to use the bathroom when I left the house at the ball-crack of 8 AM yesterday, and when I got home at 5 PM I fell asleep sitting up from being so burned out from having to smoke myself stupid simply to function.......

....so it was a day of frequent bathroom use, cramping, bloating, and ended up crippling myself simply to volunteer my time. Meanwhile, I'm so exhausted by suppertime I'm useless. No time to write in the morning, and no energy and desire to write or craft in the spare time I get. I'm too burned out for quality from having to imbibe marijuana each hour or so......

.....oh well... Winter is coming and all these little extra things people need me to do will come to a stand-still. Not only that, but I imagine it does me good to help Cara and her family, as well as, help out Brian.

However, with Winter coming it also means that I have even less time to write the Yule Story.

Oh! Just now I was watching news, dealing with cramping, and writing in my diary, but now Cara needs me to stop everything and help her deal with her fibro-myalgia pain. Story of my life... I get nothing done, but everyone else is happy. Guess this means it's an end to any creativity today. Wish someone would tell all these people that I need my own time to accomplish my goals and dreams... Because no one seems to take that need seriously.

Hope you have a good day. Mine involves doing things for others, and hurting myself in the process, while gaining very little for myself... Goals and dreams are on the back-burner... Sorry.. Gotta go....

September 3rd
I keep doing my utmost best to get up early and get through my health issues, only to turn around and leave the house to help either Cara or Brian. Yesterday was Brian's turn, and I didn't eat supper on Friday night so I could get up early and not experience severe cramping. I smoke myself stupid simply to be able to function, and by afternoon I'm burnt out physically and mentally.

Good morning Dear Diary. It's Sunday, and the rain-soaked landscape is quite chilly. In fact, it feels like October instead of September, but it's been that way all year; you just couldn't rub more than three nice days together without (Explicit)ing rain or cold! Seriously! It feels much more like North-Western Ontario than a Southern climate! Hell! In parts of Quebec they got SNOW a couple of days ago! Snow! In August! Like, can you imagine?

Meanwhile, a major hurricane named "Harvey" has devastated the Southern coast of the United States. Parts of British Columbia are burning for the third straight year in a row. The Gobi desert has had more rain fall than the last hundred years and the whole desert is covered in blooming wildflowers. Long story short? The climate over all the planet is changing.

I woke up in a pissy mood. I am a fairly light sleeper, and I was startled awake this morning by the sound of a cat knocking things off my computer desk. I opened my eyes and saw one of the cats trying to bat at Hephestusamazilion's tail..... Like, (Explicit) you cat! Leave my sleeping, defenseless iguana alone! There are THREE damned untrained cats in this apartment, and every single day is a struggle to safe-guard my artwork, my iguana and his food-dish, my computers, my plant (Which cats love to destroy) and anything of value like my leather computer chair, or anything else in the house they can shred or rip. Let's not mention that there is always a constant, sour, litter-box smell.....

....anyway, no sooner than I had chased the foolish feline off my computer desk I found another cat chewing on Frank. You remember Frank? The little "Lucky Bamboo" tree that I bought three years ago? Yea....  The potted plant was under attack by the bloody cat, and I immediately growled at it and chased it away....

....only to get criticized for being pissed off.

I have a legitimate reason for being upset. To begin with I don't like cats in the house because of how destructive they are, and the fact that it requires constant cleaning. Cara has one cat that I don't mind, as it's somewhat trained and fairly mellow, but the other two cats are younger and no one has taken the time to train them. We DID have a fourth one, but it has disappeared..... I know I saw it in the parking lot a couple of days ago, so it's obvious what happened..... The door to the balcony was left open enough for the wild animal to escape. Why do we have so many cats? Cara decided to take pity on a couple of cats when she already had two.... And we can't seem to get rid of the excess cats......

.....no one wants cats. People want kittens..... And then grow out of owning a cat once it gets older and does nothing but eat and poop, as well as, rip and tear the house apart. It's in their nature to sharpen their claws on anything soft. It's part of their instincts to chew on growing plants. Cats shed hair, and if you don't vacuum daily the hairballs pile up. There's also the fact that these dirty creatures defecate and then dig in the sand they crapped on... Only to crawl into the bed and walk across your face.

Do I really need to keep explaining why I don't like cats?

I don't like dogs in the house either, but that's due to size, noise level, and energy output. It is my personal belief that NO ONE should own a pet that makes noise if they live in an apartment building. A large dog requires room to run, and I think it's shameful to get a dog if you don't own a farm-house, or a big backyard.

To make a long story short, let's just say that if you own an animal as a pet, the owness is on you to ensure no one is bothered by your pet's actions.

I feel like I'm a sparrow in a hurricane. Every day seems to be yet one more attack on my personal space. The attack isn't coming from something I can control, so it leaves me feeling exceptionally frustrated.... I get in trouble if I mention the abuse leveled at me and my belongings by untrained cats, and I get in major shit if I take any action, like grumbling or chasing one of the wild creatures from somewhere they shouldn't be, or wrecking something that belongs to me. Cara doesn't seem to want to take control of this situation, and I'm left feeling abused. The frustration limits my ability for creativity, because I don't feel ambitious when I'm stressed out.

Everyone needs their personal space, and everyday is another invasion into my privacy. This affects everything in my life, from my mood to my health.

Well, since the weather is crap it doesn't look like I'm going to sword-fighting class.

I actually have one day where no one needs me. It feels weird to have slept in a bit, and not rush my routine while having to start smoking marijuana at 8 AM......... I really don't like having to be stoned all day as it burns me out.... What I like to do is wait until 11-ish before I have my first medication break..... Anyway, chances are I'll have to do some cleaning, but for the most part the day is mine to spend how I see fit.

I don't feel like writing today. Too much time has passed since I last looked at my story, and it's not easy to just jump back into it. Perhaps I'll get another coat of paper mache on the Hydra, and maybe even paint the dragon head I recently fixed.... Get a couple of coats of paint on it, and perhaps find someone who wants to buy it..... There's a plan....

......well, hope you have a great day! I guess it's a long-weekend in Canada, but it doesn't affect me in any real way.

Talk soon.

September 4th
It's evening as I write this. I woke up in a decent spirit and jumped out of bed with enthusiasm. My health seemed almost normal for the first couple of hours, and you can bet I took advantage of it....

.......My mood was quite altered when I went downstairs to check the laundry and found my damp laundry atop the dryer and some white-haired old woman putting hers into the dryer. I got upset fast, and for good reason! Like, how dare she?! It was after she left that I realized my laundry was still not dry, and it took all my willpower to not pull the plug on her two loads......

.......it took a few more hours and almost $5 to finish my laundry thanks to that bitch. I have come to the conclusion that the next time she decides to touch my stuff and put hers into the machine, that I'm going to toss all her shit in the garbage! We'll see if that learns her... And before you condemn me, Dear Diary, it should bne pointed out that this afternoon when I was working on the load that should have been finished a few hours earlier, that I happened to run into a woman who claimed the same woman did the same thing to her, and she's contemplating doing the exact same thing I want to do! So, the way I look at it, if anything happens to her crap she's got it coming.....

....karma is indeed a bitch!

When I woke up there was one of Cara's friends sleeping on the couch. I tiptoed around until 9 AM, and then kept my activity to a minimal until 1 PM... But by then I simply couldn't wait any longer for this 20-something to wake up and get off my couch.... Not. Impressed.

I've spent the day cleaning the house. I did go get corn starch, but haven't got the ambition to do anything. Gotta jet... Talk soon.

September 5th
Before I begin, Dear Diary, I just want you to understand that I am not a fear-monger. My attempts to write about the occurrences of the world around me is not in an attempt to instill fear, create division, or even bring fame to myself.  I WRITE TO BRING TRUTH TO A DARK WORLD! The attempts by world leaders, including Canada, to stifle free speech is an attack on humanity! To make the statements I do is not to scare anyone or attract "Likes" on social media! I DO THIS FOR MY LOYAL FOLLOWERS AND THOSE I LOVE! While I'm able to filter through the garbage our society calls "Mainstream media" there are many who cannot, or simply don't have the time. When I say that the Canadian government is suppressing freedom of speech and has now outlawed speaking out against ONE religion, and call that utter BULLSHIT, it's because division has NEVER done any country in historical records any good! The fact that conversation is now illegal SHOULD MAKE YOU MAD! Do I want to instill fear? NO! I want you, Dear Diary, along with everyone else on the planet to WAKE UP!!

[Straightens himself]

The world is heading to war. Make no mistake.......

......the world elites need a global reset. Just like World War II benefited the elite ruling class, as well as, the re-establishment of country borders, the next war will do the exact same thing. When the global economy crashes just like the previous wars, those in power will establish a new currency. BUT! THEY CAN'T DO THIS WITHOUT PROVOCATION!! JUST LIKE WWII, THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WILL NOT ENTER INTO A WAR WITHOUT A "PEARL HARBOUR" EVENT!! AND IT'S COMING!!

Do I say this make you scared? No. Do I want you to be prepared? You bet your bottom dollar I do.....

....speaking of which, pull your assets out of the stock market now. Invest in gold, silver, and precious gems. If you have Bitcoin or other electronic assets, get rid of them now.

Not fear-mongering. Truthing.

You don't want to be left in the dark when the power goes out. I'm not saying that the whole of North America is going to be majorly affected by the upcoming war, but there are going to be major changes. Stock up on water. [Shrugs] Not a bad idea regardless if the world ends. How much is a couple of cases of water? Do you really want to be rushing to the store when the storm is on the horizon? Or safe with you family, content knowing you will have what you need to ride out the storm.

Why am I talking like this? North Korea just tested a hydrogen bomb a day ago.

After flying a missile over Japan, North Korea has decided to test their sixth, and largest, nuclear weapon, and the resulting earthquake was felt in China, South Korea, and Russia....... At a whopping 6.4 on the Richter scale, the event was noted all around the planet!

So much for forcing North Korea to stop. They now have the weapon-platforms to load their nuclear weapons, and the fact they now possess the technology to create an H-Bomb has the entire planet on edge.

Or does it? Does this create MORE tension? Or does it in fact create an equalization in the Asian-theater? By all respects, one country possessing a nuclear weapon isn't changing much, and the fact that Kim Jong-un knows he would annihilated if he chose to launch any weapons at the United States keeps his rogue nation in check.

BUT!! As reported today in many of the mainstream media outlets in the USA, North Korea is "Secretly moving an ICBM toward the Western coast"......

......it's not what you think.

Tear down all the BULLSHIT the mainstream media is trying to feed you and see what's underneath. If the were INDEED moving an ICBM into a position to launch the missile, and doing it "Covertly at night" as reported by so many national networks, WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT IT?!? If it's "Covert", then why do we know about it? Do they not realize that there are North Korean spies that will let their  "Revered Leader" know that the USA knows?! Once again, if this is a military operation, WHY ARE MAINSTREAM MEDIA TALKING ABOUT IT?!?

I'll tell you why..... It's because they need North Korea to fire first so the mighty United States can play the victim card.

They NEED their "Pearl Harbour" or "Never forget - 911" to justify an invasion to the American people and the rest of the world!! This "Report" on missile movements is merely a distraction to justify the next step the United States military is going to take. Why do I know USA is going to war??!?! Because, Trump said so.....

.....right after the last test by North Korea, Trump was asked if they were going to war, and his response was, "We'll see".

We'll see?!? Dude! You just threatened an EMBARGO OF CHINA!! And I quote, "We will force sanctions on ANY nation that does business with North Korea".......

.......That's Russia, Iran, China, and a few others.......

.......and meanwhile, Justin Trudeau is appealing to the Untied Nations to somehow get North Korea to comply. Basically, "Stop! Or I'll say stop again".

[Sigh] War is coming. I don't say this to make you scared, but rather, to help you become aware to what is really occurring in the world around us. I do care, Dear Diary.... I really do.

Cold-ish day today.. Yadda, yadda.... Put what I thought was a first coat on the latest dragon-head.... A coat of "Tremclad" semi-gloss black paint. My intentions was to put that rust paint over the whole thing and then paint the detail in over the black using a dry-brush technique.....

.... Cara and a few other are now telling me that the dragon looks incredible in complete black. I'm not sure what to think... Pictures to follow.

Well, Dear Diary, I should jet. It's 9 PM as I finish typing this, and I should start winding things down around here..... Or, at least I would if there wasn't a guy still sleeping on my couch. Cara is now telling me that just like all the stray cats she manages to pick up "For a month" and end up keeping, her friend from Toronto who is "Down and out" really needs a place to stay for mare than just one night as promised......

......In her defense, Cara did instruct me to "Lay down the law", so to speak, in regards to her friend. I respect the fact Cara has brought this up, and with her recent conversation of me choosing to move in for good I am left with the impression that it's about time I got off my ass and wrote up that roommate agreement I keep saying I'm going to write.... Along with the Yule Story..... And the White Wolf..... And ......[Thinks] I know there's at least a couple of unfinished stories buroied within my computer.... OH! [Laughs] My very own novel about Dungeons and Dragons, and how fiction becomes reality for a select few.

But! It also makes me realize that this guy may be here for more than just "A couple of days".

Anywho, hope you have a great evening. I'll talk to you likely tomorrow.

September 6th
It's a sunshine-filled, cool, fall-like day. I guess it could be worse......

......after a hammer-stroke from Hurricane Harvey, the USA is bracing itself for yet another massive hurricane, this one named Irma. At the moment, Hurricane Irma is ripping apart the tropical islands South of USA, with sustained winds of 295 Kilometers per hour. Think of it like this... The next time your are cruising down the highway at 100 KM/H stick your hand out the window. Now, intensify the wind shear on your hand and arm by a factor of three. And that's not including the sudden shredding gusting winds! This category four hurricane is predicted to become a category five as it pulls up warm moisture from the ocean that is about two degrees warmer than usual, and the damned hurricane's eye keeps skirting the coasts of these small island nations, staying just enough out to sea to prevent interruption to the eye-wall's appetite! You cannot create the perfect storm if you tried..... It's predicted that some of the island nations are going to be absolutely devastated as the six meter (20 ft) waves crash across the low-lying oceanic countries that lay in the hurricane's deadly path. The forecast WAS for Hurricane Irma to slam into the Southern tip of Florida,and barrel up the Eastern coast of United States, hitting the Carolina's and possibly rolling up into Canada with some significance as a post-tropical storm... NOW? As the hurricane gets closer to North America they can more accurately predict the path, and have declared that it will indeed crash into Florida as a possible category five, but will quite possibly barrel into the Gulf of Mexico......

........Now, I'm going to just pause for a moment there. I need to talk about hurricanes for a teeny bit.....

....I'm no scientist, and I hold no credentials. I am not a meteorologist, and I usually get all my weather information from watching mainstream media or the radio. I USED to be quite efficient in predicting weather from day to day using observation and a knowledge of my surroundings, as well as, a personal historical account of what was deemed "Normal". While I may NOW be rusty at weather predictions, I can also tell you much certainty that the predicable weather I grew up with is not the case any longer. Unpredictable storms can spring up out of nowhere.... But there is usually a reason..... SO, the first thing I need to tell you about massive storms and how they work is much like fire needs critical elements to burn, such as heat, fuel, and oxygen, a hurricane also needs critical factors in order to form, grow and occasionally become the monster that destroys whole countries.

Hurricanes need warm water to grow. This is why you see a peak hurricane season, and why they always form in the tropics. It doesn't take a massive body of water to create a tropical storm that can become a hurricane, as many such storms have spawned in much smaller oceans like the Gulf of Mexico. Actually, as I write this, there is a major tropical depression occurring and is expected to become a category one hurricane before veering into Mexico itself. And if you think hurricanes don't follow each other, think again. Not only is Irma heading in predictable pattern to Harvey, but a third hurricane is following close behind Irma. As it's not a formed storm yet, meteorologists haven't named it, but it's expected to become yet another named hurricane in this year's season.

So, keeping in mind that hurricanes need lots of hot water to form and grow, what can weaken or destroy a hurricane?

The hurricane's eye is where the moisture is sucked into the atmosphere, just like you, Dear Diary, sucking on a straw to drink your favourite beverage. As the eye moves over the water it draws up the moisture off the ocean and can feed the storm. In the same way, if the hurricane moves over a sizable chunk of land, the eye-wall can stall out as there is nothing left to feed the storm. It is for this reason that all hurricanes die out when they make significant landfall, although as the hurricane downgrades to a post-tropical depression it still has all the moisture it gained.....

...and, what goes up must come down.

Now the reason all hurricanes rotate the exact same way is the same reason your toilet always flushes the same way. Don't believe me? Go flush your toilet and watch to see what way the water swirls in the bowl. Now, here's the fun part.... If you go to the opposite pole, like Australia, it will swirl the opposite way. So, what causes toilets and hurricanes to spin the same way each time, although differently in the two opposing poles? No.. It's not gravity....... It due to the spin of Earth's rotation. The hurricanes spin a certain way because of the spin of Earth on it's orbit around the sun. This criteria is one of the major reasons hurricanes act the way they do and move the way they do.

Another factor that can kill a hurricane is wind-sheer. Any wind that is pushing against a hurricane or a storm is considered wind sheer. The jet stream creates low and high pressure systems as it moves over the varied land formations, and it creates its own pocket of air. On the out-skirting edges of these air masses the wind tries to drive the prevailing air pressure away, and the result is called wind shear...... To imagine how this works, think of a crowded elevator. The doors open and you realize you have to muscle your way into the elevator or wait for another chance. If you wait, it's akin to a storm stalling out over the ocean or landmass and not moving. If you choose to force your way on the elevator, you have to wait for the shoving and jostling of other bodies before you can enter, and you might even be subjected to subsequent jostling as you adjust to the presence of other people in the crowded elevator. So, as a storm approaches North America it is subject to wind sheer from the North American jet-stream, and depending on how much wind sheer there is present when a storm comes through can not only determine the speed of the storm, but also which way the storm goes.

Alright. So now that you might have a bit of an understanding as to how hurricanes act the way they do, let's move on......

.......As I stated earlier, the hurricane models from a variety of professional organizations are tracking this storm, and for good reason; it's a monster! Somehow the eye is flirting with the island nations, and hip-checking them hard as it moves toward Cuba, and eventually the United States coast. As it's going along it's building in intensity because the eye is sitting atop warmer-than-average water, and there's NO WIND SHEER! Due to a "Wiggle" in the jet stream caused by Hurricane Harvey and other current weather-related phenomenon in North America, any chance for the hurricane to be blown away and back out to sea simply doesn't exist. In fact, because there is virtually nothing from stopping this storm from hitting the coast of Florida and picking which way it wants to go, there is a major chance it is going to slide into the Gulf of Mexico as a category five hurricane.......

.........at this moment there isn't a single scientist on the planet that has published the predicted path of this hurricane IF it decides to meander into the Gulf of Mexico. All the major mainstream media sources show the multiple projections from all the world, but any that venture into the Gulf simply stop short as they pass by Florida...... No one else wants to say what is really going to happen IF that hurricane chooses to take that path, but can you really blame them?

Who WANTS to say that Hurricane Irma is going to hit nearly in the same spot as Hurricane Harvey did only a week ago?! [Pauses] Oh, wait...... I just did..... Oops. Sorry, eh?

Now, there's a damned good reason those in charge don't want to make that announcement at this moment, but for Floridians the forecast is already grim. Right now he citizens are working hard to shore up their defenses and stock up their supplies before this monster of a hurricane hits them like a hammer-stroke from Hell's anvil. They know it's going to be bad, and many stores are already reporting empty shelves as citizens struggle to buy last-minute supplies!

Remember me telling you, Dear Diary, to be stocked up "Just in case"? A 24-pack of bottled water retails for about $3 CDN at the moment, but you can bet your ass that when disaster strikes that price is going to increase exponentially. $12 cases of water aren't uncommon in disasters, so the best thing to do is simply buy a few extra things that can be stored for periods of time when there's plenty of supplies in the store. It's a great idea anyway, because you wouldn't want to be running around last minute when the zombie apocalypse hits us......

.....I'm kidding... About the zombies, I mean..... I am serious about having supplies and a game-plan, and if you can have a "Bug-out Kit" that even better. Stocking up or preparing for disasters isn't something only "Preppers" or extremists do... I mean, do you have a First-Aid Kit in your house for emergencies? How about condoms, for those "Just in case" moments? Always keep in mind that life likes to throw curve-balls at you, and it's better to be prepared than wishing you were.

Soooooooooooo........... Considering how things are in other parts of the world where their weather is trying to kill them, I'll stop bitching about a nip in the air on this sunny, Fall-like day.

Perspective has a way of making you feel differently.

Today includes picking up the kidlet from school, because Cara has an appointment. I am also going to throw a second coat of black paint on that dragon head and see if I like it..... I just have to remember it's not what I like, but rather, what the person who will buy it, likes.....Right? Oh.. And while I have the can of paint open I'm thinking of throwing a layer on the exterior of Cara's iguana cage.

On International news, Japan is moving its citizens out of South Korea. I'll let you do the math on that one, Dear Diary.

I DO have an announcement to make. Please drum-roll your fingers on your computer desk, Dear Diary........

........I just hit  FORTY-FIVE THOUSAND VIEWS!!


Once again I am both excited and humbled by the support of everyone who has visited my website. To think that I am accomplishing my dreams of becoming world-renown as an author and artist, with thousands of people from all over the planet enjoying what I write and watching the videos I produce?! I'm ecstatic and I cannot thank you all enough!

One of my next big goals is to find an editor and get some of my work in print. While i do have eight books available on Amazon, there is nothing quite like the touch, feel, and smell of a real book. With the right help I'm certain this can also be achieved.

Once again, a huge thank you to all my loyal fans! You are the reason I keep doing what I do.
I remember when I thought a couple thousand views was amazing, and now I'm hitting goals I never dreamed of...... I've set my sights much higher now, and I know I'll achieve my dreams. With the support of loyal readers and all the new people who pass on my stories to their friends and loved ones, I am certain to achieve success!

I gotta jet. There's a few emails I want to read before I get on with the rest of my day. Hope you have a good one!

September 10th
Good morning, Dear Diary. The sun is shining brightly, but the air is chilly. I guess I shouldn't complain, because I heard from a family member back in North-Western Ontario and they said it was only +1 degrees Celsius a day ago. [Shivers] Brrrr! I feel jilted because we are heading into the season of "Death and Decay", and we really didn't have a Summer. As I kept stating all year long, you just can't rub more than three dry, sunny days together..... And it's not like we're getting record amounts of rain either... Just gloomy, damp, and enough wet crap to force you to take the bus instead of a bike, walk, or roller-blade.

I really wanted to go to Belegarth this afternoon, but alas, my time is demanded elsewhere. Between rainy days and the demand of my time on Sundays, as well as, the unknown of my health issues, I have only gone to Belegarth twice this Summer! [Sighs] Haven't been fishing at all this year either.....

....it's just so hard to plan anything with the fickle weather we're getting, and when you toss all the other factors in my life into the equation, it leaves a small window of opportunity to do things outdoors.

Hurricane Irma is hitting Florida RIGHT NOW. I have said a few prayers for the people who live in the affected zone, and can only hope that God watches over them during this time.....

.....the good news for United States? Hurricane Irma has been downgraded to a category three. When the eye wall hit Cuba hard it decided to park itself over the country for almost a day. While there, Irma lost steam from being cut off from the ocean. When it did decide to head North (As all hurricanes usually do) it took aim at Florida, but as a much weaker storm. The forecast is for the eye-wall to ride the Western coastline of Florida and slowly weaken before petering out to a tropical storm over the mainland USA.  This IS good news! Remember my forecast? Had Irma NOT parked over Cuba for 12+ hours, held back by wind sheer from a different pressure system, it would have been a much different story. In the same way, the hurricane following closely behind Irma is being stripped of its power due to the wind-sheer from Hurricane Irma.

That's how these things happen; predicable, but yet still somewhat erratic in the chaos that is nature.

Cara and I tackled her iguana cage. I now actually don't mind the look of it now.... (I didn't like it before) ...Functional, and elegant. What's not to like?

OH! Here's a picture of that dragon head I did entirely in black. What do you think, Dear Diary?


I gotta jet. I need to get my butt in gear if I want to meet my friend. Thank goodness I'm not too cramped up today. I'll talk to you soon. Have a great day!

September 11th
On September 11, 2001, 19 militants hijacked 4 passenger-jets and carried out suicide attacks against targets in the United States. Two of the planes were flown into the World Trade Center in New York City, a third plane hit the Pentagon, and the fourth plane crashed in a field in Pennsylvania. Almost 3,000 people were killed that fateful day. It's hard to think that 16 years have already passed. For me? That day will be forever etched in my mind.

Good morning, Dear Diary. The sun is shining, although I have noticed how late it's rising. Barely noticeable at first, the sun is now almost an hour late due to the changing seasons. It's going to be even worse once "Day-light Saving Time" comes into effect. I really notice, because my iguana has a timer for his lights. His lights are now turning on before the sun shines through the window. [Sighs] Winter is coming.

I really need to go across town and cut the grass. I'm thinking there's only going to be a couple of more times I need to do so before the grass stops growing for the year.

Frank is now indoors. Up until yesterday he has been basking on Cara's balcony, but now due to the low temperatures at night I've brought him in to sit in front of the sliding glass doors.

Last night I was feeling pretty good, and decided to tackle a few cleaning jobs that have been on my "Honey-do List". It's amazing how great it feels to organize the hall closet and super-clean the kitchen drawers! Cleanliness IS next to Godliness! It also helps that everything is now accessible and organized by order of importance. Even this morning I'm basking in the glow of a job well-done.

I've had a pretty decent morning with my little family. Everyone was in a good mood, and there wasn't any major issues. Right now Cara is working quietly on her projects, as am I....

.....I've only medicated once, but I imagine that second session is in order.

I'd like to work on some paper mache. I've already nailed a few emails and finished my morning routine. So far it's been a productive day, but you can thank government medication for that..... At least I can manage my symptoms to a certain degree, which is all a guy can ask, right?

[Chuckles] I received a couple of no-name hate-letters. Whatever.. Haters will be haters. I also receive emails and messages telling me how much they have enjoyed my work.... So..... Good with the bad, eh?

I can't wait for hurricane Irma to be over with. For the last two days there has been very little news other than the monstrous storm..... Which has now been downgraded to a category two...... Still dangerous, but not the devastating monster they were expecting in Florida. Anyway, I've said my prayers, and at this time the storm is quickly losing steam.... So, not to sound insensitive, Dear Diary, but there are other major things occurring all over the planet, and guys like me would like to see such news.....

.....there's two reason that mainstream media are running rampant with this particular storm. Number one, it was predicted to be much worse. Had Irma decided to act slightly different at the end, the States would have been hit hard. As it was, the stalling out over Cuba and the path of Irma took the teeth out of the storm. Regardless, media stations who had spent big bucks to put reporters in place and dedicated media time for storm coverage, need to validate their financial investments somehow........ And, Number two, there is no controversy with running with a single, factual, natural occurrence. All the spin-off of "Fake news" has been diminished during this time, as there is nothing controversial in hurricane coverage. It's safe, factual, easy journalism, that seems to be getting high ratings.

I should get my butt in gear. While it may be a Monday morning with a ton of things to do, I feel in good spirits..... And fairly decent health. Better get to it, eh?

Have a great week!


September 13th
Yesterday was a complete shit-show in terms of health. I was so exhausted and burnt out last night I nearly fell over standing up. Barely got anything done.

Good morning, Dear Diary. It's cloudy, but at least it's not single digits like it has been for the last couple of days. Forecast calls for rain, but so far it's just overcast.

My goal for today is to perhaps get some writing done, and maybe even some paper mache work done on the hydra. I've been moving pretty slow the last couple of days, and coupled with demands on my attention I am getting very little accomplished. It's frustrating for a guy like me who once owned two small businesses WHILE working full-time, to lose everything I worked for and end up living day-to-day with chronic pain, prone to the whimsy of my health. I'm not as bad today, so let's hold out a little hope my flare-up is going away for a bit.

There's a meeting for the upcoming airshow in London. Diane is picking me up tomorrow night to attend the orientation meeting. I think the days for the event are September 23rd - 24th...

.......I missed last year's airshow from illness. I really want to go to this one.

I'm seeing an interesting trend on my Youtube channel. Now, I understand that the application uses algorithms to tailor each individual's use, but even the channels I'm subscribed to are all coming out with similar material regarding a possible disaster looming on the horizon.....

......an EMP, or Electro-Magnetic Pulse, detonated over North America.

Forget war! Forget illegal immigration! IF one EMP was to be detonated over Canada or the United States of America it would set the country back 50 - 100 years!!! No infrastructure damage from the nuclear explosion, and it creates an immediate black-out of information that would plunge everyone into an "End of the World" scenario. Chaos would reign. Emergency respondents would be rendered useless as the country implodes.

So, why is there suddenly so much attention being spent on attempts to educate the public about this very-real situation? Can  you imagine if there was videos regarding the dangers of passenger-jets flying into buildings a year or more BEFORE September 11th, 2001? Would that have changed things? Well, these videos are attempting to do exactly that...... Change the situation before it becomes a reality.... By educating the public it forces politicians to address the issue.....

.....as well as, educates the public to be ready.

Are you ready if the power went out and never came back on again? I highly doubt it, as the percentage of "Preppers" (As they are called) is extremely low. While there are such people who have taken extreme measures to stock underground bunkers with food and water, the overwhelming majority of North American citizens have NOT stocked up enough fresh water and food to survive 3 days without electricity, let alone 50 years! Think about it..... What's your contingency plan if there was a direct attack on your country and created an "End of the World" scenario? Do you even have one? Do you think you need one?

Here's a fun question....... Would you and your family survive?

From numerous enemies abroad and within, to threat of nuclear war or even an ELE (Extinction Level Event) from dormant super-volcanoes like Yellow-Stone or the "Big One" earthquake from the Cascadia Fault on Canada's Western coast, or even a giant rock falling from outer-space....... We're staring down the gun-barrel of some future major event... BUT! Humanity has ALWAYS been threatened by some impending disaster, and quite often due to our own making. WE have survived as long as we have by persevering through the mind-numbing fear of the unknown and everything that has been thrown at us. We're survivors, and while our lives will eventually be completely disrupted, the human race will continue to soldier on.... At least, I hope so....

...the fact is, Earth is so DAMNED irradiated from weapon-testing and the foolish pursuit of nuclear-generated electricity that the entire food-chain is breaking down. The rates of cancer in Canada is now 50% according to Health Canada!! There are virtually no safe places on the planet from radiation. When a baby is born it already has radiation in its body. So, what's that going to do to our race? To our planet? Any future generations will have to contend with the mistakes made by greedy individuals who pushed the nuclear industry to where it is today. Nuclear energy should have NEVER been used...... Just another example of doing something just because someone COULD, without thinking about if they SHOULD.

I dunno, Dear Diary.... I used to be such an optimist. Then I became a realist.

This morning has been fairly enjoyable. Cara is doing her thing not so far from me, and little Hephestusamazilion is basking under his lights overlooking my computer desk. It's quite quiet, and I although I desperately need to go for my second medicinal break of the day, I am in good spirits. True happiness only comes from within. You can't buy it in a store, or unwrap it. It comes in one-size-fits-all, and the fun part is that everyone carries a little spark within themselves, waiting to be set free and perform its healing magic. It's only by realizing that no one person or thing can make you happy, is when you can find the meaning of true happiness. It's not found in a fancy trip to some far-off get-away, but you do carry the potential for happiness with you when you go. Everyone wants to be happy. It's the fundamental reason for why we do the things we do; we're trying to make ourselves happy.  While most people say, "I want happiness", you must realize you have to first remove one's ego by taking out the word "I", and then you need to remove desire by taking out the word "Want"...... Only then are you left with "Happiness"......

.....I'm happy. At least, for the moment. [Chuckles] Hope you have a happy Hump-day! I'll chat with you tomorrow.... Later, 'gater.

September 14th
Good morning, Dear Diary. The forecast for today is calling for rain, but at the moment the sun is shining brightly. Yesterday, they were also calling for rain, but we ended up with a gorgeous Fall day. [Chuckles] I'd hate to be a weatherman today with the erratic, unpredictable weather patterns we keep getting. I mean, at what point do you get some poor guy up in front of the camera who suddenly completely looses his mind and freaks out on live television, "I just don't (Explicit)ing know, man! I just don't... Global warming.. Gah!! Global...... Global warming, ya'll! We're ALL GOING TA DIE!!....."

[TV switches to sign reading "We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by"]

.......instead of the '90's term of "Going Postal", the new term for the working class suddenly going on a violent rampage is going to be weather related.... We can call them "Post-Traumatic Weather Depressed", whereupon, these men and women who have spent their entire lives and oodles of money to pay back student loans to prepare for a career in predictable weather forecasting, are now losing their mind because everything they've been taught no longer applies. In fact, the only weather forecasting that does seem to fit the scale is those of paleontologists and geologists. Perhaps we need to look to the past to see Earth's future weather instead of looking at satellite imagery and the changing sky, nes pas? I can see that forecast now......

----------
"We bring you live to the Arctic Pole for our latest weather forecast. Our correspondent, Ilik Efossils, to bring you today's weather forecast....."

"Yes, thank you, Charlotte Isitonmybum. As you can see the ice is MELTING. We'd love to take a core sample of the ice, but it's just (Explicit) melted like ice-cubes in my gin and juice".

"Melted?! Where did all the water go?"

"Into the ocean".

"Won't that raise sea levels?!?"

"No".

"What do you mean no? I thought that if the ice melted it would raise sea levels..."

"Oh, sure, Charolotte. We all know you are only as smart as your teleprompter, but that's ok. I'll explain it for the viewers... When ice that floats on water melts, it doesn't raise the water level. Think of when you're in the pub and order a double rye and coke with ice.... And the ice melts.... It doesn't raise the level of the liquid in the glass."

"So, we're ok then?"

"Good Heavens, no! All that fresh water is going to radically alter the currents of warm and cold water that produce our weather on the planet. This is why we are seeing such in increase in weatherman related violence across the planet... Aaaaannd it's going to raise the global temperature and kill everyone, so there's that....."
--------

[Chuckles] I'm in a bratty mood today. I guess that's good considering the disaster that unfolded last night...........

.......at exactly 12:50 AM, I awoke suddenly to a mighty crash in the bedroom. The light spilling into the room from the kitchen night-light highlighted a fleeing cat..... I watched it streak from atop my desk, to the ground, and then bolt out the door. In mere seconds I was up and had turned on the light....

.......my 4-foot iguana light lay shattered across my desk!

Now, Cara claims there was no way for her cat to reach the light, but I highly disagree. That's the third time I've personally caught the damned thing on my desk, and it likes to bat at the iguana's tail and other dangling things. It doesn't take a stretch of the imagination to think for one second that the cat was walking around at the time of the night they seem to love the most, and tried to climb my iguana roost... Then spied yet another ledge above it... Without realizing it was a lamp and not a branch, tried to pull itself up as it had done about 2-5 times to get under the lamp. In the dark, I imagine it looked just like all the other branches in what I'm certain seemed like a great place to explore for a cat......

.....only, it was a florescent light-bulb, that got tore out of the ceiling and shattered across my desk.

Here's the kicker.... Cara is claiming there's no way her cat could do it.......

........so, just out-of-the-blue my light decided to commit suicide? Like, stable for a couple of months, but at that exact time the cat was on the desk it decided to what? ... Attack the cat? Did the light-bulb attack the cat? Is that it? Fuck me! Poor cat! How dare that light-bulb choose to fall at that exact moment the cat was on my desk! Poor shitty little kitty...... [Rolls his eyes so hard they nearly roll back into his head]

She claims her cat couldn't reach it....... Yea.. Like the fucking thing can't jump up on the top of a door or the top of a fridge? Or how it can't balance itself on the balcony outside hanging 4 meters off the ground? That it hasn't climbed my iguana's roost before, and I have caught it doing so? That it regularly sleeping in Konika's cage, and has grown used to the iguana's cages as her personal space?

So, I'm going to have to fork over quite a few bucks to replace this light-bulb. [Sighs heavily] Fuck me!

Oh, did I tell you that I brought "Monster" over here from my place? (Monster is a Boston Fern) Well, within 24 hours some fucking cat decided to sit on it, and completely flattened the top!

At what point do you say enough? She keeps defending these destructive animals, and now they are targeting my shit! What the fuck do I do?!

Meanwhile, I have to ensure Hephestusamazilion is getting enough natural sunlight by forcing him to bask on the bed in the sunlight coming through the window. He's not happy about his routine being interrupted.... And neither am I. At least the sun is shining.

Well, hope you have a great Friday-Junior. I'll talk to you later.

September 15th
Good morning, Dear Diary. Today marks an important day.....

.......it's the second anniversary for Cara and I. Yup! Two years! Happy Anniversary, Sweetie!

So, I was sitting here trying to get over the muscle spasms that are rocking my abdomen, when out of the corner of my eye I spy the cat Cara agreed to "Foster" back in July "For a month" [Checks the calendar] Yup! Two and a half months ago, Cara took in two cats because Cara has such a huge heart especially when it comes to cats, on the agreement that the owner would return and get them..... Two months went by and nothing..... The super-sketchy cat mysteriously disappeared (Seriously - I had nothing to do with the disappearance - I was asked a couple times), although I believe it simply jumped off the deck and ran away. The second one, however, is still here..... Anyway, as I was saying, I spied the damned thing sneaking up to my iguana's food dish like it has so many times, to eat the squash off the top and chew on the fake greenery at Hephestusamazilion's food dish. Well, I growled at it like I have so many times, and once again, Cara turns to me and verbally attacks me for..... Words...... And having a tone in my voice.

Words. Are. Powerful. But. Do. Not. Cause. Actual. Pain.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me". Since WHEN did that change? I'm willing to bet that any University student in today's society doesn't remember that particular nursery rhyme. [Laughs] In fact, I bet the nursery rhymes of today's youth probably goes more like.....

"Me. ME! Magical me! I'm super special, can't you see? I'm so delicate with super-thin skin, that society cannot critique me, for that is a sin. No names and no weapons, for both hurt the same. Free speak is a myth, those who speak out must be shamed! Shut them all down! Let no one speak out! If you don't like what's happening, then cry, scream and pout, for you shall get your own way, this is the key. The squeaky wheel always get the oil, you see? Rejoice! For none may condemn, bully, or tease. You must be politically correct at all times, if you please. I can't kick a ball or swing a baseball bat, but all get a medal at the drop of a hat. The world revolves around me, for I am the best. Who cares about others, I'm not like the rest. I'm special! Unique! And though I might be.... Brainwashed and ignorant, I'm magical me!"

.........Wow! Did I ever go off on a tangent.... [Laughs] Where was I? Oh.. Right... The cat.

So, this creature that licks its own ass decides to try once again to go after my iguana's food. Is it wrong for me to not want this dirty animal to touch my iguana's food? That cat is a foster! Who the Hell knows what kind of germs that thing has!? Anyway, I said some words, and Cara got mad at me for saying words......

....to which I turned on her and once again explained that attacking me for having a valid reason for getting upset, is ridiculous! I then told her to deal with the cat issue or I'm going to take action. (I threatened to "Kill the cat" which I wouldn't... It's just a statement.... But when I threatened to move out I was serious) I basically gave her a final ultimatum, based on the fact that my frustration was once again being ignored and I was under fire for being frustrated.

What a way to start our day, eh? Happy Anniversary, dear.....

.....anyway, Cara and I sent a few nasty public messages back and forth until I deleted the original social media post we were using. A few more minutes passed, and I guess Cara wrote the owner of the cat about the fact we just fought AGAIN over this cat that should have been gone a month and a half ago (Should have never got it in the first place) And I guess this woman out of the BLUE decided to come immediately and get the cat..... Like... Don't get me wrong, Dear Diary, because I'm ecstatic the cat IS FINALLY GONE and that it only took about an hour from Cara telling this woman about the fight to her coming and picking it up. However, what the Hell was this woman doing all this time? Cara  has sent her messages a few times, so what was so spectacular about today that finally did it? [Sighs] Oh, well. The cat is gone.....

....and Cara and I are back to talking nicely again, so that's good.

(Explicit)ing drama!

One thing to note: I missed the airshow meeting last night. I had agreed to go for a truck ride with Brian, and ended up further out of town than expected, and taking much longer than anticipated. I missed my ride, and now I am forced to have to find a way to make it to the airport on Monday night, or I will NOT get to volunteer in this year's airshow. I wold also like to add that those two days I volunteer are really hard on me due to my health. It's early mornings and long days without being able to eat. Not sure why I'm having doubts about volunteering this year. It's possible that because I haven't done so in quite some time that I have forgotten the feeling you get when you work in such a team manner. Anywho.. Monday night... I'll have to make it.

Well,  should get my butt in gear. Perhaps even try my hand at writing a bit and see how that goes. It's nice and quiet in the apartment, so I should take advantage of that. Hope you have a great weekend!! Talk soon!

September 16th
Good morning, Dear Diary. It's another sun / cloud day (Can change at moment's notice) but the temperatures are fairly decent. It was actually muggy last night, and when I was up at 5 AM this morning due to pain I noticed a thick haze of fog over the city. It was actually quite pretty.....

.......So, things have really calmed down in the house with the extra cats gone. Even Cara is admitting that the other two we own have calmed down and are acting "Normal" again. Hate to say I told you so....... But, you know? Anyway, the kidlet is gone for the weekend, and it's just Cara and I in the house. I let her sleep in, but she's now up and doing her morning routine.

We have plans today to go out on a date to celebrate our two year anniversary. Due to the fact that we met at Belegarth and Amtgard, and much of our dates involved going to the park and such, we thought it only fitting to spend the day outdoors, and both of us opted to go fishing. So, Cara and I are going to leave the house once we both feel up to it (Health-wise) and head across town to see if we can't find a few fish to wrestle with..... I doubt we'd ever keep the fish.... Not certain how good they would be to eat, or how much contamination is in fish that dwell within city limits.....

.......maybe not so much concern for me, but I wouldn't want to feed something that might make my family sick. After all, in Summer the water levels are lowered, the temperatures go up in the water, and there's plenty of time for pooled chemicals or toxins to spread in the warmer water. The best time to eat caught fish is the Winter or Spring, unless the lake is massive and deep, in which case it doesn't matter what time of the year it is.

Anyway, in a short time I'll be rising from my chair for a second medication break and then start to put my gear together. I haven't been fishing since last year, so this will be quite enjoyable. Spending time with Cara in such a setting will also be enjoyable, and I daresay we probably need the time alone and away from the  house.

There was another terrorist attack in London, Britain, while I was asleep. Apparently, this time the scum targeted the "School Run" on a subway. Yup! They're going after the children again. At what point do we realize that candle-light vigils and holding hands isn't going to be enough? Due to Canada's M-103 I am going to refrain from commenting further......

.....wouldn't want to have the Thought-Police arrest me for......Words. Not only that, but Google is now un-listing websites they "Deem too conservative". So is Youtube...... Independent media is having their throats cut in terms of funding in a deliberate attack by the corporations lead by globalists. The attack on personal beliefs and free-speech is very real, as is, the war on Christianity.

So, FUCK YOU, Trudeau! I hope we can fix the country after your ass is booted from office!! You might silence many people's voices in your agenda to tear down our country, but we'll be screaming loudly at the voting box come November 2019!!! If it were up to me, he should be arrested on several charges; specifically, covering up the investigation into his use of private helicopters to visit "Family friends", Trudeau's constant funding of terrorists and hate organizations, giving away millions of taxpayer dollars to countries who have sworn to kill us in the past, and pandering to the global elite. A full investigation would reveal much more abuse of power, I'm certain, but that short list should be enough to lock his privileged ass up for a good while!

Wow! Where did that come from? [Chuckles] I guess I just have a severe co-dependent reaction to bullshit!

Aaaaaaanyway....... I'm going to stop thinking about corrupt politicians, man-made and natural disasters, as well as, military development and current events... And just think about the time I have with my luvvie.... At least for the day. Some fishing.... A little sun.....

.....I better go pack.

Hope you have a wonderful day! May God bless and keep everyone safe.

September 18th
Good morning, Dear Dairy. The sun is trying to shine and the air feels fairly warm, but there's a haze of clouds overhead. I haven't checked today's forecast, but I'm fairly certain it's just more of the same.

I'm doing fairly decent this morning, which is a welcome relief, because I felt like hammered crap yesterday. That's why there wasn't a diary entry; I could barely move from pain and bloating even WITH taking medication, and who really wants to read about me bitching........


........Anywho. Cara and I decided to go fishing on Saturday. We first stopped in at her Grandparent's house and put the final touches on the deck (Finished, yay!) and then went to a small lake. We didn't catch anything..... But we had fun. I do wish we had stayed longer, but perhaps next time we'll pick a better spot. I ended up soaked, but since I was only wearing my shorts and flipflops, it didn't matter. I just figured that since I was already wet, that I could just wade out into the lake a bit to cast my rod. Cara took pictures and laughed when I lost my flipflops in the mud and had to wrestle them out. A good day spent with my luvvie.

Since there's not really much to report, I'm going to go work on something. I kind of feels like a writing day, but I have a few things to do before I launch into that. We'll talk soon. Hope you have a great week!

September 19th
Good morning, Dear Diary! It's already warm today, and I hear the the weather this upcoming weekend is going to be in the 30 degree range. Good thing too, because the LONDON AIRSHOW is this weekend!!

Last night Diane picked me up and I attended the necessary safety briefing so that I can volunteer. I enjoy volunteering for these airshows, because I personally believe that such displays are very important for not only the promotion and development of new aircraft, but also so that we remember the past. Canada and the United States of America, as well as, all our allies across the planet have engaged in a mutual military and civilian technological race in aircraft development, and these kinds of demonstrations display the past, the present, and future technology. Inspiring the future of aircraft engineers, ground staff, and pilots is an integral part of our society's development.

So there. Get your ass to the London airport on either Saturday or Sunday. (Heck! Come both days if you like) If you want a unique airshow, come to the Friday night, "Hour of Power", featuring military aircraft showing off in mock battles and aerial stunts! I'm told the afterburners during sunset at the end of the display are phenomenal..... You won't want to miss it! Tickets are available, and there's parking available with buses running back and forth all day long. Gates open at 10 AM for the static displays on Saturday and Sunday, and the airshow starts when the Show-Boss says it does..... (About 1 PM)..... That was a little airshow humour. As in, the Air-Boss runs the show.... [Shrugs] Just come out and see something you'll never experience again... Unless you come back next year.....

.......THIS YEAR'S SHOW is the BIGGEST in Canada, and the THIRD BIGGEST in North America. Let that sink in for one moment. Here's the website...... London Airshow 2017

I just hope I'm ok. Last year I missed the whole thing because I was ill, but the long days of volunteering also are hard on me. I scream through the medication during such moments, as I'm up early and having to be functioning all day long. Even then, things could still go wrong, so to ensure I won't cramp up badly I will refrain from eating much. So, that's over 48 hours of little food, little sleep, and having to be "Public / kid friendly" for 12+ hours a day.

One of the main reasons I keep getting asked to go back, besides the fact I am volunteering each time there's an airshow? I'm a good people watcher... THAT, and I do watch the crowd and not the show. They can count on me to not show up and work half a day, take my shirt off, and watch the airshow for free..... Many do that kind of thing.... Some volunteers show up with cameras around their necks..... So, basically I do what I'm supposed to, and that's why I keep getting asked to come back.

I did hear that two of the regular people that volunteer for these shows was told not to come this time. At first I was shocked, but then I thought about it for a bit... What those in charge have done is made a policy of "The customer is always right", and that the volunteers should cater to the paid customers. Last night I heard time and again that we are strictly hands off when it comes to patrons of the airshow. We are not allowed to engage physically or verbally in any negative manner.... [Laughs] Like employees at Disneyland we wear our costumes, paste on a smile, and perform a hands-off security detail while being subjected to extreme noise, emotional crowds, lost children, sick and injured people needing medical attention, people sneaking in dogs / alcohol / BBQs / etc or just plain sneaking in, the possibility of bomb threats....... What? Disneyland doesn't have to contend with a possible bomb threat? Airshows do..... Rest assured, Dear Diary, there are 5 levels of security at this event (That I'm aware of) with dedicated Fire and Ambulance services on the grounds. What are the security measures? Sorry, but I'm not telling you..... That's how real security works.... Behind the scenes with minimal public interaction so as to not frighten the sheeple.... Errr.. I mean, people. You'll see when you show up at the event. Just go to the website I listed and read the prohibited items list, but also come prepared, so read the suggested list of things to bring, like sunscreen, and sealed food for infants, etc. Don't bring a pet.... You should be wearing ear protection yourself, and some animals hear much better than humans..... Don't smoke on the airport grounds, because airplane fuel is quite explosive. You know? That kind of stuff.........

.....as I said, it's a long, stressful weekend for the dedicated volunteers. And!! Many volunteers have been working on this show for a few months now! Some have been working on it before last year's show was even over! There is a TON of things that need to happen, and the public only sees the show, not the hard work and drama that goes on behind the scenes. From coordinating with the city of London to have certain roads blocked off and traffic re-routed, to the crews of various aircraft that work diligently around the clock to maintain them and keep them flying fit, there are HUNDREDS of people working on this! There are over 250 volunteers from Fanshawe college alone!! These airshows are boxed up tight with red tape and regulations, and there can be absolutely no room for error..... Not in the sky, or on the ground.......

.....so, when you attend this airshow or any other for that matter, and happen to see a volunteer.... Tell them thank you. While you may have paid a few bucks to get in for a few hours, these people are the reason for the show.

By the way, all the proceeds from the London airshow are going to various charities*. That's right..... Once the bills are paid the rest goes to further the education of aspiring youth who look up in the sky and see a future for themselves flying overhead, and tremble at the thunder of the afterburners when they realize that future is possible. This is how dreams are made.

Gotta go. From the looks of it I'll be writing for a good chunk of the day. I did a number on my novel yesterday, and I'm itching to see how much more I can get done. Things are turning out good, and I'm happy with it. Hope you have a great day, and we'll talk soon!

* -"AIRSHOW LONDON is a not-for profit organization supporting children’s healthcare, Veterans and support programs, and aviation technology education programs. The mission is to build community and foster economic growth through recreational aviation activities, aviation heritage, education and aerospace opportunities. Recognizing the service of Canada’s veterans sits at the heart of the organization." - From the London Airshow website

September 20th
Good morning, Dear Diary! It was warm this morning when I woke up, but that's because we have a thick layer of clouds that trapped the heat overnight. Grey, gloomy, but warm, today looks like it could flip either way in terms of rain or shine. Guess we'll see.

I'm in a debatative mood today. My health is about par for the course, which means, rolling pain with severe bloating and the sensation to ...... Never mind. Shitty topic and I'm certain you've heard it before. Anywho, not sure why, but I am feeling saucy today and I'm rolling over people in debates like I'm in an armored tank. ... Doesn't hurt it's a topic I'm well-versed in.

So, in an odd twist, the apartment is empty this morning. The kidlet is off to school, and the luvvie is out and about. Turns out everyone woke up in a decent mood, and Cara seems a little more sprightly on her feet today. Don't forget, Dear Diary, that she has fibromialgia and it greatly influences her abilities some days. So, everyone is decent enough and in good spirits, and I have the house to myself for several hours.

I'm going to keep working on the novel. I managed to write a few more pages yesterday. It's coming along.....

.........speaking of which, I should get my butt in gear.

There's really not much to mention in the terms of major events or politics. Sure the Canadian House of Commons FINALLY returned after the Summer break (Why do they even do that?! It's not school or something) and the official opposition got a chance to hammer back at Justin Trudeau for all the crap he's been up to lately. As usual, it was "Uummm", and "Uuhhh", and a total avoidance of the topic by the Canadian Prime Minister, but as I said this is nothing new. So, yay!! Parliament is back in session, but it looks more like a school-yard popularity contest complete with contrived pettiness by the 1% elitists pandering and lying to the rest of the class, than professional politicians who are supposed to be serving the interest of the Canadian people! OH! Trump gave a speech at the UN yesterday that shocked many, and pleased many others. You can put me on the "Pleased" side of the camp as he is doing exactly what needs to be done. Is it war-mongering? (Explicit) that!! Bush was a war-monger and invented lies to invade other countries.... Clinton and Obama working as a team were EXCEPTIONAL war-mongers; aiding rebels AKA ISIS in the fight against Syria, and fueling the proxy war in the Middle East. Trump is NOT a war-monger.... Businessmen who are involved in trade do not like a disruption in their trade.... Unless they are trading in weapons, which certainly isn't the case for Trump.... Who sells the concept of luxury and wealth... Not war............ So, the warning given by Trump reading off a teleprompter was exactly that; a warning. It was not a call to war, but rather, he was speaking in a language that the young Kim Jong-un understands.

On that note, I gotta jet. Take care peeps! Hope you have an awesome Humpday!

11 PM
I'm barricaded in the apartment. Cara has called the cops. More to follow.........

----------------------

Well Hi, sure you've all heard of what a horrible person I am. However No, I didn't call the cops, neighbors did. Not even the person who probably should have would have.

I'm sure you're dieing to hear the juicy details, I suppose it would be fair to state that Zzorhn probably shouldn't mention them.

It can easily be placed on my shoulders as it is each time, but usually we have a semi equal place in our problems which really aren't anyone's business... but here I am again a bad guy.

In reality I'm heartbroken over the ordeal and I wouldn't call, won't appear in court myself.

In truth you don't do that to people you love, and I love HARD.

He's an amazing guy, he's creative, he can spin a tale into pure gold using nothing but straw, he's perfection with his hands, art building, growing plants, holding hearts. He's done nothing but amaze me through it all these past years.

I have never - Nor will I ever imagine I will ever find anyone who can captivate, involve, inspire, show such pure and raw emotion. I've always been a smitten kitten.

I believe in him and his potential.. I mean from what I've heard and seen that Orchid bloomed in the two years, and I don't regret it.

We came in with my door broken down, checked iguanas checked cats, they're fine. I will make sure to keep us all that way no matter how I'm processing everything.

WHEN I noticed he had his comp on ~ really hate the smear campaigns narcissists create, especially being on the other end. No more on that please J.

Zzorhn once said he left his blog open and Dianne wrote on it. He said "One day I'll leave it up for you to write" This is about the only time I'd be willing.

Now the Incredible urge to curl up in the crook of his arm and cry while he strokes my hair is combating the nagging knowledge that I feel invasive to his privacy. 


I really hope dear diary that he is available to speak soon!

I really hope all of you who know him will offer your love and support because getting over such deep love and connection is sooo hard, we tied a couple times.

I know I'll be crying for months gasping for air, finding nothing but memories and the need to feel him, smell him, hear him crooning the way he does. While bravely going through the motions to keep everyone else up.

That's what I do, I'm a pillar - maybe a lil crooked and worn.

We have such joy and support for the whole essence of each other inside and out, we worked hard to get this far. No one else has ever touched me the same. My pillar. No matter how old and mouthy.

I challenge you all to please fill this position which he so badly needs. Beautiful, tender, delicate souls need places to be strong and places to be vulnerable.

Now that I put my gems down, I will log him off everything and give him the privacy that everyone deserves.

Cara
-------------

September 22nd
Hello, Dear Dairy. It's Friday at 1 PM as I pen this entry. I'm sitting in the Public Library as I type.

As you can obviously guess, shit hit the fan on Wednesday night. The Police ended up battering down the door and used a SWAT team to take me down. I was taken to jail, then to the Hospital to deal with my injuries I sustained, as well as, the fact I was now without medication and cramping up badly.

When the Hospital discharged me, I went back to jail, then at 8 AM to the courthouse. I sat around all day in a very cold jail cell with no cushions or anything but a concrete slab until 3 PM in which I went before a judge who released me on strict order to never contact Cara.


IF I have any lessons to learn in this, is that the preconceived notion of standing up and defending myself is an out-dated, archaic notion that doesn't apply to modern, city life. It matters not who is to blame, if I use force to defend myself or aggressive force to end the escalation of a physical fight, I am basically breaking the law. While I did put a barricade up as per the Police's order from previous issues with other women, they simply broke it down and hauled me away based on preconceived bias on the part of the neighbours.


I honestly did think Cara phoned the Police. I'm glad this wasn't the case. If anything, it makes me a little less bitter about this.


[Sighs] So much to do. I have to atone for this outburst as I have a court appearance in October, but, I am quite confident everything is going to simply be thrown out. God! I hope so! I need to move forward in life, and this isn't the way to do it. Somehow I have to get my stuff from the apartment. Not sure how I'm going to do that, since I can't have any communication with her.

Not sure IF I can make the airshow this weekend. I spoke with Diane, but she said that she is not available to pick me up or have me stay over as she has company. With no money and no uniform, bus tickets, etc, etc, I will be hard pressed to get my butt to the airport and ready to volunteer. Ugh!
I'm going to go. With no house keys, I have to somehow time it so I can meet up with Brian. We'll talk soon.


September 25th


....... I have to apologize for the major gaps in my entries at the moment. I'm not a fan of using a laptop keyboard, and that's all I have right now. I imagine there's some underlying psychological reason for my lack of desire to do much right now. My life got dumped upside own again, and I'm basically sulking a bit.

I've given more thought into this whole standing your ground concept I seem to hold so dear to. My whole life has been filled with instances of watching others and being involved in violent entanglements. Might makes right, is a saying I heard time and again, and anyone who has the strong conviction to raise their fist against those I love or that which I treasure is cause for rebuttal using minimal force necessary....

....minimal force necessary. You see? Any belligerent fool can completely overpower someone and destroy them, but that doesn't mean it comes with any morals or life lessons, in fact, they are merely bullying or oppressing the other person. HOWEVER, if someone disarms their opponent with grace and the minimal force necessary, then that is an admirable goal in a conflict. This is what I have been trained to do in all situations...... Use my whits, but if violence breaks out I'm supposed to stand my ground and defend using  the least amount of force necessary to subdue the aggressor. From my Judo instructor to my parents, these life-lessons of honourable combat and the unwritten rules have guided me all my teenage, and later-adult years. I have never thought of men and women in the frame of "Lesser or Better" when it comes to forms of combat or violence. I've witnessed great amount of violence caused by both men and women, and I've also witnessed how that violence came to a resolute end that brought peace....

......that's what fighting and violence is about.... Resolution. The end result of any fight or skirmish is to break down the stress that has created the tension responsible, and end up with a peaceful resolution. No conflict goes on forever, not even the war between Heaven and Hell; everything will come to an inevitable end. Like two tectonic plates grinding against each other and erupting in a violent earthquake that creates horrendous loss and devastation, the end result is a moment of peace and tranquility due to the stress levels being reduced. Resolution is an honourable goal in all conflicts, but it's important to ensure you use "Fair Fighting" techniques. In this, I failed on Wednesday night, because I let my frustration take over my senses.

Anyway, I'm not going to get into any detail at this time for several reasons, and just move past the events of the last week.

I have to make arrangements with the Police to get my belongings. I've got Brian ready to step up and help me move, and I'm hoping to get another roommate to help to make things go quicker. I dunno... We'll see... There's many unknowns in that equation, and if history is any lesson, this is going to be along, drawn-out process of getting my stuff from Cara's apartment

I'm going to go. I have phone calls to make and places to go. Hopefully my health doesn't kick me in the ass, because I need to get stuff done! Hope you have a great Monday, and an enjoyable week! Talk soon!

September 26 - 11 PM
Finally stopped crying from an episode of "House". Not because of the show, but the symbolical references in the episodes. ..And that Cara and I used to watch that show together... And I have a "House Dance"...... Argh!. I miss my family!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck!

Ok, Maybe I haven't stopped bawling. Not sure why I'm writing this entry due to my emotional state...Thought I could write something. Maybe see you in the morning,

P.S. Finally got my desk set up. Hephestusamazilion is well. [Shrugs] That's all I really came to say. Wish I could have been more elaborate.... But not feeling up  to it.

September 27th
Good afternoon, Dear Diary. I've had a rough morning health-wise, and coupled with trying to get things slowly put away I didn't make a journal entry in the morning like I normally do. It's just after noon now, but I've been up for almost 6 hours.

Things around here are the same, chaotic drama where the people upstairs play a game where they pretend the people below them don't exist. Third day in a row that I've woken to booted heels above my head..... The guy who is adamant on cutting the grass on "His side" is still cutting the grass while I'm the one with the contract from the landlord........ The guy next door that seems to be slowly alienating himself from the other tenants, ran over the fire pit in the backyard and has now parked in such a manner that no one can enjoy a campfire. .....

.....there is good news, however, the new guy that took over the room at the back end of the house is decently intelligent and cleans up after himself. On the other hand, the guy that rents the room right next to me is moving, which kinda sucks, because he is never here for the most part... And who knows what kind of person we may get next?! Frik! Come Winter-time we're going to be tripping over each other. [Sighs] Oh well, it's better than being on the street.... Which happened this Spring, remember? So..............

........Weather today is quite warm, as the record-breaking heat-wave that rolled through Southern Ontario this week is coming to an end. Predictions call for cooler, "Normal" temperatures by Saturday. Oh well, it's been opportunistic for me to move my tropical lizard from one end of town to the other, as well as,  take him outside a couple of times to enjoy the sun and heat.

Hephestusamazilion is still a fraidy-cat being outdoors, and who can blame him? Where he comes from, large birds, large cats, and a whole host of predators hunt these creatures in the wild, and the little guy still has that pre-wired "Fight or flight" instinct he was born with. When he sits outside he just wants to go back in or crawl under a bush to hide, unless of course when I'm holding him. In my arms or laying draped across me seems to bring him stronger resolve.... so that's what we did this morning... I laid in the front yard and let Heffy lay on me to bask in the morning sun.

I DID get his basking roost set up AKA tree. I decided to give him a thicker branch to perch on since he's growing so quickly. Did I tell you his bottom lip is actually regrowing scales where he lost them due to MBD?* Yup! Not only is he on the mend from his previous life and growing like a weed, but the scars he bore are slowly going away.

By the way, the computer desk took three hours to put together because it was completely taken apart. To her credit, Cara packed the screws neatly, but I haven't taken that desk apart since I put it together. I forgot what screw went where.. [Laughs] Oh well, my workstation is now set up and I can start writing....

...but not today. I just got a call to meet a friend to go for a walk. With my health improved by several medication attempts, I feel like a walk this afternoon will do me good.

Oh look! It's clouded over since I started typing, and it may rain by the looks of it. I'm certain the brown grass needs some rain after the several hot, sunny days we just enjoyed, but could it wait until later? Seems suspicious that it clouded over so suddenly.... [Laughs]

........I'm going to jet. Talk to you later.

*MBD - Metabolic Bone Disorder

September 29th
Good afternoon, Dear Diary. I'm moving pretty slow today due to health. The weather started out rainy, but switched to sun with extreme wind. I think the jet stream is moving over us.

Yesterday I had to go help Brain from a sticky situation. A married couple had completely screwed him over and he needed me to ride "Shot-gun" for company and support. Not going to get into details about that too much, however, it was again a moment where stereotypes definitely applied.

Moving on.... I'm slowly getting things set up in the house. As I go I'm cleaning and sorting, and in some cases, even purging some belongings.

Heffy isn't eating from his dish, and prefers to be hand fed... The little bugger... Have to break him of that habit, because he needs to eat to grow and heal.

It's very chilly out. The sudden shift can be described by a temperature change of almost 40 degrees Celsius in mere days. Fall is here, complete with leaves turning colour and falling.... [Shivers] It. Has. Begun.

This afternoon includes more sorting. That's really what's taking me so long to UNPACK is because I'm going through everything one bit at a time. The interesting thing is, when I move to London merely a few years ago I had less than 200 pounds of belongings, and now when I mve I need a moving truck. From donation and gifts, to saving up and buying the equipment I need to accomplish my life-goals, my little office inside THE IGUANA CAGE is shaping up... Slowly but surely.

So, now that I can bend over without too much pain I think I should get my butt in gear. It's Friday today, so I hope that you are having a safe time with family and friends as we celebrate the end of another week. I'm going to keep busy and slowly work on setting things up exactly the way I like it. I've got some paintings up, but I think I might move / adjust a couple... Just to get it right. I'd so love to hang a mirror in my room, bu Hephestusamazilion would think it's another male iguana and stress himself out.... Possibly get co-dependently territorial and act aggressive.... So, nope. No mirror.

Rent is paid. Phone bill paid. [Sigh] But for some reason my medical marijuana prescription wasn't renewed although I had it done on the 15th.... 14 days to figure this out? Hmmm.....I'm going to have to give them a call methinks.

I'm thinking of laying low this weekend. I do wish I had someone to keep me company, but with so much to do I should focus on just getting my life sorted out. Gotta make it not only feel like home, but also a place where I can start writing and crafting again.

I should go..... Gotta go hand feed my iguana and open another box to resort it... Align my inner soul and that jazz..... Talk you to soon!

October 1st
I fell asleep last night watching "House". I didn't mean to, but I was so tired from the busy day that I basically passed out on my bed wearing my headphones and eye-glasses. I awoke at 3 AM to a very cold room, and decided that I better get my little Hephestusamazilion off his perch and use my body heat to keep him warm. Once again I slept with my iguana laying across my chest.

It's actually nice to wake up and see his curious little face examining mine. Knowing that my body heat provided his cold-blooded body with warmth fills me with a kind of love that I seem to be unable to properly describe in words. Moving on....

.....the rest of my morning thus far has also been pleasant. My roommate, James, is a wonderful, kind soul, and I quite enjoy our conversations. Brian is also in good spirits today, so apparently it's not just me. The sun is shining, and the day promises to be fairly warm...... Wait a moment.. Just realized why it's so quiet and peaceful..... There's been no noise from upstairs. [Laughs] It just suddenly occurred to me that for the last two days I have been waking up to Heffy's lights turning on via the timer, and not booted feet above my head. THAT'S why everyone is in a good mood.

So, October already? Wow! This Summer seems to have flown by!

The forecast for the upcoming week calls for warming temperatures. By mid-week it's supposed to be 25 degrees during the day, and nighttime temperatures in the double digits. Right now, however, the furnace in the house is turned off, and it's colder than a witch's tit in here.......

.....except my room which has heat lamps.

I need to go and get better heat bulbs today. The good one didn't make the trip from Cara's apartment, and I'm stuck with the cooler ones. Not certain what to do for nighttime, though... I also need to get calcium powder. Looks like a trip to the pet store is in order.

Things are ok. I'm settled in for the most part, and everything I own has been sorted through. I haven't done much in the way of writing yet, but that is certain to change with the cooler temperatures. Just hope I can get that book finished for my set deadline of this year's Yule. I made a promise and I'd like to keep it......

....but I am lonely. While I do have a decent camaraderie with my current roommates, I miss my family. Not just the ones back in North-Western Ontario, but the ones in London. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss Cara and the kidlet..... And this is pretty hard. [Sighs] Everyone I talk to tells me the same thing; that this is proof that we don't work well as a couple. I know the truth, however, and the fact remains that all couples have problems... Ours was the same thing over and over again, much like normal couples all around the planet. Some couples fight over leaving the toothpaste cap off, or how the other person chews their food. Us? We fight over a co-dependent issue that stems from shifting blame. Almost every one of Cara and my arguments was over the fact I would get frustrated, and then get attacked for being frustrated.

For example..... (I'm paraphrasing)

CARA: "What are your plans for today?"

ME: "I'm going to force myself to work on my book for a few hours, and then maybe do some art".

CARA: "OH! Ok. I'm doing _______. Want to go uptown with me?"

ME: [Unconsciously scoffs] "I just... But I just.... I told you what I was doing, and now you want me to abandon my plans...."

CARA: "Never-mind. I'll just go by myself...."

Me: "Please don't get mad at me for reacting in surprise to your request when I had just finished detailing my plans...."

.............Aaaannd someone's feelings get hurt. [Sighs] Now, in that particular instance I didn't yet say that I wasn't going to go... It didn't get that far in the conversation. Instead, we got stuck on the fact I reacted..... And the argument never did manage to address that fact. What startled me right off the bat and made me react that way, was that this book I'm working on was dedicated to Cara as a Yule-time gift for December 2017, yet for some reason it isn't a priority to her when it serves her purpose. It seems like I have to fight to be able to write with everyone demanding my attention. I dunno.... It just seems so silly to argue over the fact I had a knee-jerk reaction to something Cara said, and never got the chance to correct it in that particular incident. See? Silly fights over co-dependent issues like misinterpretation, guilt, my tone, body language, as well as, my core belief system. I fairly certain we can get over these problems, because we've fixed bigger ones... Not certain why we keep getting hung up on that same issue though. Oh well... I have court to deal with now. I can only hope that when the details emerge it is proven that the statements given by Tim and Cara were incorrect. I understand that Tim as motivated by revenge, but I'm not convinced Cara's statement was intentionally wrong.... From what I've learned, it was a female cop who took their "Statements", and I can just hear her leading them on, and even falsifying information......

......because it happened in 2012 when four Police all lied on their reports to cover up the brutality they bestowed upon me.

On the news side of things, Canadians awoke this Sunday morning to learn of a terrorist attack in Edmonton last night. A Muslim man carrying an ISIS flag stabbed a Police officer before leading the Police on a high-speed chase down the streets of Edmonton where several innocent bystanders were struck by the man driving a Uhaul truck. Witnesses and video all speak of how the man was purposely attempting to hit pedestrians as he swerved back and forth....... ISIS sleeper cells in Canada are now striking civilians. You know all those warnings I've been issuing? They are coming true............

....time to wake up, Canada!!

Well, I should go and shower. Get my day started and all that. Hope you have a great day!

October 2nd
Good morning, Dear Diary. The sun is shining and the weather is supposed to be warm. My plan for today is to help Brian in the backyard with painting his truck, so I won't be doing much writing. That's ok though, because with a pleasant sunny day it will be nice to work outside.

Last night while I slept, a lone gunman committed the worst mass-shooting in modern USA history. During the late hours of Sunday night, a 64-year old man opened up automatic fire on a crowd of 30,000 people in Las Vegas. Over 400 people were taken to the hospital, and over 50 were killed. My prayers are with the victims and their families as they struggle to deal with this random act of violence. For more information go to the CBC link, "Beyond Horrific!"

It seems like almost every day now there's some act of violence taking place on the planet. Maybe it's just me, but I doubt it.

Court tomorrow so that means an early bedtime. I should also make certain that I have my clothes and everything ready to go, so there's no issues in the morning. Don't worry, Dear Diary, this is just my first visit so not much is going to happen. I just need to speak with the Legal Aid lawyer to make arrangements to find a criminal lawyer. I'm fighting this tooth and nail.... I'm NOT going to spend one second in a jail cell because of a heated argument. All the charges are bullshit... For example.... Yes, I threw a glass to the floor during the exchange. I had just been splashed in the face with beer.... My throwing the glass to a safe corner was not an act of violence, but a purposeful act to remove a possible weapon from arm's reach. It was MY glass that I threw and broke...... For that I am charged with "Mischief"...... Which means that every single Jewish couple that get married should subsequently be charged for breaking a glass........ [Steps on a glass] Mazel Tov!!! See what I mean? Bullshit charge.... I figure at that point they were just throwing more shit at the wall to see what would stick. Anywho... Court.

"The insult to the injury, in evil, lies, and such
The biggest crooks, in all of this, are lawyers and the judge!" - "THE IRONY OF A JAIL CELL" September 2012

Well, I'm not going to worry about things like that until I need to. For the moment I'm going to focus on my goals and my health. I do know that were I to end up in jail for any length of time it would destroy me...... Physically, emotionally, as well as, end up losing my iguana and much of my belongings.. Not to mention destroying a couple relationships....... Oops! Didn't I just say I wasn't going to worry? My bad......

........Guess I should go and volunteer my time to help Brian. He's moving a bit slower today, but I think that's because he's just relaxed. As for me, I'm going through my usual 3-4 hour routine of excessive pain and frequent trips to the can. One more medicinal break and I can possibly get off my computer chair....... Hope you have a wonderful week! Talk soon.

October 3rd
Good afternoon, Dear Diary. The sun is shining, and the temperatures are quite enjoyable. A smattering of autumn colours are breaking through the dark green leaves due to the cooler nights, but for now it's gorgeous during the day.

I wore a suit and tie today. In them morning the suit felt great to wear, but on the way home I was nearly melting. Welcome to that time of the year where the temperature can deviate 20-30 degrees in hours. Why was I wearing a suit? Oh, come on, Dear Diary, you know why I was wearing a suit.....

......ended up sitting in court from 9 AM until 1:36 PM when my name was finally called. I stepped up, bowed to the court, kept my mouth shut and let the Legal Aid Defense lawyer speak on my behalf. It was over in mere minutes, and I was out the door.

Now I have my Legal Aid certificate coming in the mail. My next task will be to research lawyers in London...... I wanna find a female lawyer with a grudge against other women who is hungry for blood. Why a female? All the Crown attorneys I've seen so far are female... Basically, fight fire with fire. The idea of a male defending me, another male, would be counter productive, especially in this case. [Chuckles] I'm even considering the nuances of my representation based on the pervasive sexist theme that runs rampant through the court system. Seriously, the Canadians courts favour the women in over 80% of cases. Don't believe me? Go look it up. Anyway, I'll be limited in my choices due to the fact I am seeking a "Legal Aid Lawyer"... Trust me, if I had the cash to hire a private one I'm certain there are specialists who would tear these two blonde Crown lawyers a new one, but since I'm limited in cash I'm limited in my choices...... [Sighs] Oh well.... Here's what I'm looking for, Dear Diary....

-Female
-Exceptional track record in cases similar to mine.
-Someone who understands my eccentricities, as well as, my health issues.
-Hates other women

I know for a fact Cara was coerced into a statement by that female Police officer. I'm quite certain that she is not going to testify, or it's going to be difficult to get her to testify against me in court.... And I want to go on record right now, Dear Diary, and state that I do not want to have Cara suffer any negative consequences of this..... So when I make references of a "Woman hater", I am talking about the lawyers and the Judge. I don't want to hurt Cara at all..... I'd just like this to go away.... But in the circus of life, one must jump through the flaming hoops. You don't get to avoid them..... And it's all done to the applause of monkeys. No, I wasn't referring to the audience, but the actual monkeys at the circus. The crowds are sheep.

I've have an epiphany, Dear Diary. It came to me last night and when I woke up I thought more about a concept of profound importance........

.........Cara and I have a unique relationship. We are aggressive and try to injure each other more when we are sparring with weapons than we do we argue. I hit Cara excessively hard in the bedroom when the mood strikes us to engage in such behaviour..... In fact, she often claims I can never hit her hard enough... With whips, floggers, and even my light-saber once..... EVERY woman (With the exception of 1-2) I dated has hit me. Many repeatedly. One woman had a method of cupping her hand just right and smacking me in the base of the head, causing me to see stars. Most of them didn't care if they were in public or private when they hit me. This repetitive pattern, coupled with watching my role-models and peers go through the exact same thing my whole life, has created a co-dependency when in comes to relationships. What I guess I'm attempting to say, is that I am jaded and quite cynical regarding what the law deems domestic violence. The sexist court system automatically assumes I'm bad because I have a penis, and doesn't understand that extenuating circumstances create an extremely fine line in the sand of what is deemed legal and what is abuse.

Let me explain this further by asking three questions. If I am standing over Cara and using a whip to raise welts and bruises, while screaming at her how "Naughty" she is, is that abuse? If I am standing over Cara and using a whip to raise welts and bruises, while screaming in anger at her, is that abuse? What's the difference?

The answers are easy...... No, yes, and the difference is permission. In the first example I had Cara's permission, while in the second I did not. In both cases I was dominating her, injuring her, making her cry out, cause bruises, so they are almost nearly identical in every way.... Except permission.

So.....................

.......IF you have an established relationship where weapons are sometimes used during heated moments, and in some cases, slapping to make a point, then what you have is an established pattern, ergo, it is a permissible act when one or the other hits in such a fashion. I know, for many individuals the concept of striking their partner might seem alien. These kinds of people simply live a different lifestyle. Where I come from, if a man or woman strikes you, you are allowed to use similar force to protect your honour..... Sounds messed up, doesn't it? Striking a woman to retain your honour? It's true..... I was taught that only a coward runs away, and if you don't stand your ground then people will walk all over you. The idea of not hitting someone back when they hit you because of a lack of a penis, sounds alien to me. It's. The. Way. I. Was. Raised.

Cara and I have a preexisting mutual agreement for such violence in our relationship.

The other thing that struck me as odd, was that I actually like getting hit by a woman when it's deserving. Go figure, huh? There's just something about a woman who slaps you and then 15 minutes later is kissing you passionately....... [Shrugs] I just think this particular incident got taken out of control by external factors.. Like a vengeful, bitter building maintenance man (The "Spit Police" - Remember?), and a couple of nosy neighbours. The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced of it.....


...I enjoy playing with fire. Occasionally I get burned.

God! I need to get this court order lifted, so I can see if I'm right about all this......

......anyway, I don't know what the future holds, however, I was also taught by my Grandparents that if something is broken you fix it, not throw it away. Pretty certain that if we did try to work things out though, Cara and I need to attend some sort of counselling!

I do know what else went wrong. I had fallen back on my nasty habit of trolling people on the interweb AKA trying to bring attention to the growing problems on the planet, which has a tendency to make me cynical. I lose sight of the focus of what I'm trying to do, and instead start taking delight in the emotional responses I get, which in turn makes me irritable to deal with in real life. Cara told me that before, and I believe she was correct. I guess I should return to my mantra of positive messages and bringing hope to the world, instead of lashing out in anger over politics.

Speaking of politics, there was another violent shooting in the USA again. At this point I'm just numb.... The headlines don't even shock me anymore. Guess that's the point of extremism and terror.

Well, I should go. I have a few things to do today, so I better get at it. Wasted enough of my day already rotting in court...... Talk soon.

October 4th
Good morning, Dear Diary. The rain showed up, but the temperatures didn't drop. It's a warm, muggy day in London, Ontario, with skies that threaten to rain again at any moment.

There's not much time to write this morning; I have to get ready to go to a Doctor's appointment. What's it for? The usual.

New evidence is coming out of the United States regarding the tragedy that occurred on Sunday night. Eye witness accounts speak of "Multiple shooters", which of course contrast with the reports given by main stream media. ..... Here's what I have to say about this..... A country music concert. Those in attendance were predominately Christian, Caucasian, Conservative, believed in traditional marriage and traditional families.

Do you understand the motives now?

There is NO WAY a 64 year-old could have set that up by himself, and then sustained automatic fire for ten whole minutes. You ever shoot an automatic weapon? I have, and I'm telling you there is NO WAY an "Untrained, multi-millionaire" could have done so. So what happened? It's not like a government agency could have perpetrated this attack, is there? Maybe we need to remember "Fast and Furious", or even 9-11 in NYC where the CIA worked with criminals to murder its own citizens for a secret agenda. In the following days just watch the narrative, and you'll understand the motives behind this......

.......and the more I investigate, the more I'm convinced this is really about gun-control in the States.

Anyway, I have to go. Perhaps I'll do some writing later this afternoon, but we'll see what happens. Hope you have a great Hump day!

October 5th
Good morning, Dear Diary. The sun is shining bright and warm this morning. There's no wind, and in my little corner of London it's pretty quiet. A gorgeous start to a great day!

It's occurred to me that I may have inadvertently solved the noise pollution issue coming from upstairs. When I installed a small waterfall for Hephestusamazilion via a fish pump, I created a trickling sound that echoes in the room. In the dead of night it's akin to sleeping beside a gently trickling brook, and that "White Noise" essentially masks the odd thump from above me, as well as, the boots across the floor first thing in the morning. It doesn't wake me, or I'm awake with my noise-cancelling headphones on. That's why I haven't been making much mention of the noise pollution problem as of late.

I really hate to cut things short, Dear Diary, but I am being called away. With such a nice day outside, the roommates are stirring and need my help with a few things. Brian will probably want me to finish painting his truck..... Maybe I'll do that this afternoon. So, probably a busy day, if my health stays the way it is right now.

Have a great Friday-Junior!

4 PM
Good afternoon, Dear Diary. Normally I don't do a second entry, but I really needed to tell you a story that happened to me last night.

It was just after midnight when I awoke to an extremely loud crash in my room. As I sat there in the dark trying to collect my whits and ascertain if what I heard was real, I decided to grab my cell phone and use the "Torch" function to illuminate my room.

What I saw I could not explain...... My closet, which had been shut, was wide open and all the contents had been dumped out of it!

The two large bins on the top shelf now lay on the floor with their contents strewn about. Some of the towels and other items that were carefully placed on the lower shelf now lay pushed out of the closet by some unseen force.

The more I examined the mess the more I became convinced that there was no possible way for this to simply occur on its own.....

...now, I'm certain it did occur naturally... Somehow..... But as I stared at the mess and the distance things had been thrust outward, it appeared more than a simple cascade failure, or rather, it didn't look like an avalanche caused by a sudden slip of one or more items.

[Chuckles] My brain....... You know? The first thing it did when I started entertaining the thought that something inside the closet might have pushed things outward to cause such a fall..... Was to invent the idea of some lurking creature in the shadows, waiting for me to come closer.

Immediately I realized what was going to happen if my mind decided to use my imagination to go beyond the possible, and entertain the impossible..... "Whatever you do", I firmly scolded myself, "Do NOT think of the most evil, vile, sinister entity you can possibly think of...."

And, then I did.

[Sighs] Almost like I double-dared myself to NOT do something, I responded with the most vile and sadistic creatures my imagination could summon.....

.....from within the shadowy depths of my closet I could almost imagine a deep, gutteral growl.

My adrenaline immediately spiked. Do you blame me?

Needless to say I got up and turned on the lights and cleaned up the mess.....After all, I had to check that damned closet before I went back to bed......

.......still don't know how or why everything flew out of there in the first place.

Anywho... I'm off to do some paper mache.... Work on my Hydra a bit. Hope you have a great evening.

October 6th
Good morning, Dear Diary. It's a rainy day, but the temperatures are still fairly warm... At least, for October....

....didn't sleep well last night. Not certain why but I woke up at least three times.

I tried my hand at paper mache last night, but ended up completely distracted by neighbours. Mark decided that he was going to walk into our house and start pulling wires on the Internet, and it took me almost an hour to deal with the problem. I warned him to stop walking into our house without an invite... This is the same guy that was causing problems before, even going so far as to slip a nasty letter under my door. Anyway, I dealt with him, and got the Internet going again. In the end, I was fairly politically correct, but to deal with Mark you have to stand your ground because he tends to like to get in your face when there's a confrontation.... Like he did again last night.

Should I have run to my room? Cried a little? Just let him do as he wished? No....... Because I'm not a push-over. I stood my ground and explained that I don't enter his house uninvited and he should do the same. He yelled, but in the end things worked out. Thank GOD he didn't start throwing punches because the last thing I need in my life is more Police.......

........Ahhh, yes! Stress. The confusion created by one's mind when it attempts to override the body's basic desire to choke the living crap out of someone that really deserves it.

I looked at my novel yesterday, but didn't write a single sentence. Not sure what was going on in my mind, but I really didn't feel like doing anything at all. Today feels a little different.... Perhaps it's the weather. Maybe it was the Full Moon last night..... One that was heralded as "Spectacular", as the full Harvest moon appeared larger than life on the horizon. I saw it... Was a nice sight to see, and even made me ponder my existence for a moment.... I mean, why ARE we here? How is it that things are so intricate and wondrous, providing us a safe, habitable zone in a deadly cosmic shooting-gallery? I pondered these thoughts and many others as I gazed up into the Heavens last night. The sensation made me feel small and insignificant, but also made me realize how special humans really are......

........the ultimate enigma; I find the human race to be magical and magnificent, however, I dislike modern society and what it has done to our species.

I feel like doing some writing. There's not much to report in politics, with the exception of Ottawa putting the final touches on their marijuana bill, C-45..... [Chuckles] The headline for this morning read, "Government Trims its Pot Plans"..... Thought that was rather clever journalism. Basically, an individual will be allowed to grow four plants, but the height restriction was removed... Which makes sense...  I mean, if my plants grow one centimeter over the limit I would suddenly become a criminal? At least Ottawa is doing a thorough job in reviewing this.... Expected role-out for marijuana legislation is scheduled for July 2018.....

....one year before the next Federal election. All those people who voted for Trudeau to usher in pot laws will probably vote for Liberals again if they like the pot-plan. Yup! Our last election was swayed by marijuana legislation, and so will the next one. I can only hope the Conservative party under Andrew Sheer doesn't decide to make anti-marijuana as part of their party platform, or they will essentially be ensuring no Conservative seats in Parliament! Yes, the timing is politically motivated, but the average Canadian isn't going to consciously realize that.

With that I am going to jet. I hope that you have a wonderful weekend. Chat soon!

9 Bells
I'm feeling lonely. Don't get me wrong, Dear Diary, I am not coming online to pen some sort of pity-party..... But, this is a diary after all.... It's expected that I write about my emotional state, not just my physical being.... Occurrences... And politics.

[Laughs] I think I struck a nerve a couple of days ago. I was doing my usual thing of trying to educate the masses AKA "Trolling Snowflakes", and I left an exceptional synapses of the debate at hand.......... Well... Eff me! I got trolled hard!!! Two emails, three Facebook messages, and several angry responses later I realized I was being subject to something of a different calibre.... Long story short? I had received  hate mail, and over 200 hits on my website in the space of half an hour........

.....let that sink in.

What did I say? It was about gun control, and had something to do along the lines of "They should outlaw all guns. That way there won't be any left in the country. It worked for drugs"..... [Laughs] Yup. Sarcasm.....

.....Men are capable of sarcasm, however, if you want evil cynicism, I mean bitter, vile, poisonous, emotionally-charge, dripping sarcasm.... Well, that requires a woman.

What? You're offended, ladies? It was a compliment!!

{Laughs, thinks about the last statement, and then sighs] Maybe that's why I'm feeling lonely right about now. Do I feel some level of resentment towards women? Only that which I was taught................ By example.............

.........Shit! This sucks! Even when I'm attempting to be coy I fall flat on my face. Lonely? You know bloody why I'm lonely, Dear Diary. I screwed up, and now I'm.... Fuck that.. My FAMILY is suffering because I'm a hot-headed, narcissistic. know-it-all.....

....WHOA! Where did THAT come from? And I'm allowing it to remain written? [Thinks] Looks like I'm allowing that to remain written....

......Yea, I screwed up, but I'm not "Guilty" by Canadian law....... Fuck.. Why do I get the impression that particular statement is going to become my mantra should Canadian law continue to change in the mannerism in which it is? "The law is wrong! I'm not guilty of the bullshit level in which I am being judged by society........."

Just lop off my head now.

[Chuckles] That was a French revolution joke.... And here all you bigoted mother-fuckers thought it was a stab at (DUE TO M-103 I CANNOT COMMENT)!! See? Told you my sense of humour is a "Tad" off. It could have also been a reference to "Alice in Wonderland"....

....but I don't see any white rabbits blowing themselves up in crowded venues.

I should go.

October 7th
Good morning, Dear Diary. The weather today is overcast, but muggy and warm. The sun keeps trying to poke its face out from behind the clouds, so there's hope for a good day.

Woke up in a decent mood and fair-to-middlin' health. I decided to make use of the opportunity and tackled the Iguana Cage AKA my room. As I sit here typing this journal entry, my room smells of bleach and cleaner. I have clean clothes in the dryer, and a fresh batch of dark roast coffee sitting beside me in my over-sized mug. I so enjoy the feeling of a clean house, and the fact I feel accomplished makes things Oh-so-much better! Don't get me wrong, Dear Diary, I still had to undergo a routine of frequent trips to the bathroom and such, but the pain wasn't such an issue today... Don't worry, that can change in a heartbeat.

It's a truism that I now have an eating disorder. My routine of not eating in the morning because it causes cramps by the afternoon, has resulted in my body frequently displaying signs of low blood-sugars by noon. The first time I eat each day makes me gag. To me, food has become a caustic thing I am forced to consume to live, but it's the main cause of my daily pain. I starve myself to stave off pain, but the weakness and queasiness I get from low blood-sugar prevents me from doing my best. [Sighs] It's a daily "Catch-22"... So, yea.... Safe to say I have neurological eating disorders due to my present health.

I keep talking about end-of-the-world scenarios, and how to survive them. I'm thoroughly convinced that something major is going to occur during my lifetime, in which, life as we know it will never be the same. The moment I do start thinking about surviving the upcoming ELE or as many scientists are now calling, "The Sixth Major Extinction" on the planet, I wonder HOW I will survive given my health issues....

.....let's face it; I'm a middle-aged man with daily, chronic health issues. I have given up my ability to sire children in 2000 AD when I underwent a vasectomy, ergo I cannot be used for breeding purposes. If there was an end-game scenario where society broke down, I would probably be considered a liability to any group trying to survive. If I am forced to endure any lengths of time without pain medication, especially marijuana which alleviates the bloating and cramping, as well as, giving me an appetite, then I might very well be canoeing down Schitt-Creek without a paddle.......

.....but, then I remind myself of all my life skills.

From a host of survival skills, weapon training, military tactical training, hunting and fishing skills / foraging for food, leadership training, and a whole WHACK of other types of helpful information, I come prepared as an "Elder of the Community" role in such a case. My "Bug-out plan" eventually includes building a community in a undisclosed part of Canada. In this role I would guide the younger, virile generation as to how to survive in such a world and to work together. Basically, the safety in numbers concept ensures a greater chance of success in surviving such a disaster. When you factor in the strengths I bring to the table, it definitely outweighs the weaknesses I possess.

Ah, yes! The continuous dilemma of humanity; as we age our knowledge grows but our bodies wither..... Our usefulness for physical labour decreases over time, while our leadership skills increase. I know I'm generalizing here, but you get my point. I just think it's difficult to fathom for me that I may have outlived my usefulness on the front-line, but that's because I still feel like a teenager in my heart. I imagine that's a truism for many seniors...... A young spirit trapped in a decaying body.

Why am I talking like this? Just an analyzation of my purpose in life. Everyone should do so on occasion. It's like cleaning out a closet or a dusty pantry. Self-analyzation is important from time to time. Life changes, and humans prefer to remain stagnant......

....and preparing for the worst possible scenario is something I personally believe everyone should do. Not just the possibility of an ELE (Extinction Life Event), but also major storm, flood, or even home-invasion. What do you do when the front door is kicked in? The authorities may not get to you and your family in time, especially if there's a major crisis taking place. Do you have a evacuation plan in case of a fire? Do you practice fire-drills at home? Do you have water stored in case of a power interruption? A First-Aid Kit? Flashlight with batteries? A portable heater?

The fact is, many people living in North America have NO disaster planning. Some home-owners have inactive fire-detectors. Some don't have First-Aid Kits in their home. Many believe that electricity is a right, not a privilege. Most believe the government is there to protect them......

...the government is NOT there to "Protect you". This is seen time and again when they offer "Assistance" after major disasters, but disaster-planning is NOT part of typical governing. This is why you see major storms and cataclysms taking the authorities by surprise. They have no department for "Life Happens", that would actually imagine possible scenarios that may occur, and then see to it that preventive action is taken. In fact, it's been a massive struggle to get the corporations and governments to acknowledge the devastating effects they have caused on the population over the centuries. Only by fighting hard for human rights did humanitarian crimes become addressed. The government is NOT there to protect you or your family....

......that's up to you.

Just keep in mind that when the storm surge hits there are two types of people; statistics, and survivors.

It looks like the sun is coming out, and Brian wants to do some finishing touches on his work-truck. I'll probably go out and help him this afternoon, and enjoy the day. I hope you have a great weekend!! All my love.

October 9th
Good morning, Dear Diary. The forecast for today calls for heaps of mashed potatoes and baked turkey, followed by a serious dose of tryptophan-induced slumber. Expectations are that many Canadians will be loosening belts and undoing the top button of their pants to compensate. Many will feel the effects of the merry-making well into tomorrow morning, as expectations of self-induced "Swine Flue" works it's way through their systems. Yup! It's that time of the year.....

......HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

To be frank, I really wasn't planning a damn thing this year. Not only am I on a serious budget, but the idea of cooking a large meal for myself didn't sound very enjoyable, in fact, I believed it would feel akin to giving myself a paper cut and then rubbing my bleeding wound in table salt. [Shrugs] Just in case you don't understand my reference, allow me quickly explain (Because I don't want to dwell on negativity - I'm in a decent mood at the moment).....

.......due to the recent upset in my life and the loss of my little family, I felt that a meal I would naturally share with them would feel raw and bitter eaten by myself. I figured that instead of going through all the actions of a large meal and fanfare, that I would instead focus on what I do have to be thankful for.... Just not necessarily celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving Day with all the usual pomp and circumstance. Yes, I live with roommates, but we all pretty much do our own thing; there's not much in the way of collaboration for meals or events. Anywho, based on several factors I chose to go online this year and just write a message of love and peace, and offer thanks for all my gifts and all the people in my life who have helped or influence me to become the individual I am today.

Then out of the blue, Brian starts talking turkey. (Double entendre)

Do I like turkey? If he got one, would I share it with him? Do I like stuffing? Potatoes? Cranberry sauce? Do I want to go with him to the store and pick one out, should we choose to do so?

[Laughs]

I personally believe he was on the same wave-length as I was in regards to making a fuss about Thanksgiving Day. Why bother to cook turkey and all the fixings if you are going to eat alone? Let's face it, no one likes to eat alone and in the case of meals that involve some celebration with the focus specifically on the food, the preparation of the meal denotes as much attention as sharing it with family and friends. Seriously..... There's quite a big of subliminal pressure to get the turkey "Just right"...... Even the presentation is important, with many families holding to a tradition of craving the baked bird directly at the table for all the guests to witness. Rather like a sushi-chef displaying their skills both at preparing food, but also dramatic presentation of the preparation and serving of the food. Trust me, just like the rules of etiquette that dictate the hosts seat at the head of the table, to which side the cutlery is placed, the presentation of the food during Thanksgiving is part of the celebration. At least for my family it was.....

......so, here was Brian going out of his way to see if I would be interested in joining him for Thanksgiving Day turkey.... IF he got one... And cooked it....

....So, I told him it would be awesome to join him for Thanksgiving supper. I went with him to find the turkey last night. (Damn! Like roses on Valentine's day, do NOT buy a turkey on Thanksgiving Day weekend!) Anyway, expenses aside, Brian picked out a 5.6 KG bird and a few other items for tonight's supper. The bird thawed all night, and Brian is going to do the cooking......

...I'm excited! Haven't eaten turkey in quite some time, and while I'm not certain if anyone else is coming or if Brian has invited the other roommates like James, but I know it's going to be a good time. In retrospect, I'm glad Brian chose to do this kind act, because I believe that traditions are important to personal mental health. It keep us grounded and reminds us of who we are. While many are examining the celebration with a politically correct lens, and are claiming it's a day that insults the Indigenous community, I personally believe they are missing the point. Yes, it's a Colonial holiday, instituted on some manipulation of facts, some outright lies, and totally ignores the genocide of thousands of Native men, women, and children. Even today there are scars bore by victims of government policies, more recently referred to as the "'60's Scoop" in which the Canadian government is pledging $800 MILLION in reparations to be paid to the victims. Does one day of the year that been established for generations suddenly become an icon to highlight the atrocities committed by Colonialism? [Shakes his head, frowning] No. It can't. Not in Canada! You see, the narrative of the "Pilgrims coming to Plymouth Rock being met by friendly Natives" isn't part of Canada's culture. The theme of roasted turkeys alongside offerings of corn by the Indigenous people is better suited for memes and decorations, rather than trying to correlate something that occurred in the States with the Canadian tradition. Yes! Colonialism was bad! It was bad for many nations all over the planet! But! To associate the celebration of giving thanks for our family and many blessings in life with the atrocities that occurred during the settlement of French and British Colonials in Canada? I think it's a stretch, and I've read article upon article written by those crying for an end to the holiday.

At what point do we stop having to pay for our ancestors mistakes?

Dastardly deeds done by those who have come before still affect Canadian society today. Heck! You only need to look down at our Southern neighbours and see the social unrest caused by rampant political correctness and the attempts to re-write history. Seriously, Dear Diary, they are tearing down historical monuments down there faster than they can legitimize their existence. In Canada there are several schools considering changing their name because they are named after Prime Minister who engaged in oppression and brutality of the Native people during Canada's early attempts of Colonialism and the subsequent wars. Political correctness is rampant, and even Google and YouTube are defunding, censoring, changing and deleting information, and re-writing history!

My prediction is that there will be NO Thanksgiving in Canada within a decade, given the way society is so rapidly being manipulated by media and the Globalists. Traditions that are in any way offensive will be re-written or revamped..... Much like Hallowe'en is being called "Black and Orange Day" in some schools in Canada, because the idea of children misappropriating costumes or wearing masks might be seen as offensive, you will see a few others become altered to fit the elite's agenda. Hmmmm....... This is starting to sound utterly depressing.....

.....let's just hope I'm wrong! Let's hope that the tradition of Thanksgiving and turkey, as well as, giving thanks to our Creator for all of our blessings, remains a part of Canadian tradition. My hope is that ALL Canadians realize that this isn't just a Colonial holiday, but a time that everyone can celebrate, regardless of our past. In the end we are all one race, one family..... And no one should be forced to pay for the mistakes of their Great-great-great-great-grandparents.

So it is with determination that I say, as Canadians we are all welcome to sit at the table and give thanks for family, friends, and the freedom to gather together in these kinds of traditions. My belief is that by the breaking of bread and sharing of food and drink we are not just celebrating a single ideology, but rather, the concept of Thanksgiving as a time of coming together as one is underscored by the fact it's a celebration of life and harvest. It's giving thanks for all the bounty in our lives, and by sharing it with others we are celebrating our differences and similarities. THIS is what I believe Thanksgiving to be about; celebrating the cycle of life, and giving thanks for everything we have and those we share it with.

With that, I wish you all a blessed and wonderful Thanksgiving celebration! I hope that you find peace, love, and joy during this time, regardless of what your situation is. My wish is that the time shared with loved ones be a reflection for the days to come, and that our many blessings are felt all year long!

With much love,  Happy Thanksgiving Day! Try not to eat too much, eh?

P.S. Thank you, Brain.

October 10th
Good morning, Dear Diary. It rained last night, but the air is warm. When I stepped out onto the porch this morning to have a look, there was a layer of fog that enveloped everything. It was very pretty.... Quiet, no wind, and no one around..... But only for a short time.

It's Tuesday morning, but for most people this is the first day of their work-week. Yesterday was a holiday for most Canadians, but for me it didn't make a difference. I helped Brian work on the cab of his truck during the afternoon, which was somewhat enjoyable, but I was cramped up pretty hard. The sun is warm these last couple of days, and I've been doing my best to take advantage of that. His cab is only half done, but there's not much I can help him with now.

We had turkey for supper last night and served about eight guests. Turns out Brian invited just about everyone in the housing complex that he deals with routinely. He did a decent job on supper, and even though it was informal, it was enjoyed by all.

The Star Wars trailer for the newest, upcoming release of Lucasfilm's chapter eight in the saga, was released last night. I've watched it a couple of times and it looks pretty decent. I'm still upset that they didn't follow the actual books...........

....you know? The books that George Lucas wrote? Books one through nine? The ones I read long before they even released the movie Episode I, "The Phantom Menace"? [Sighs] Like, they didn't even try.......

.......Instead they re-invented the story.

No news coming out of anywhere that's relevant. There's tons of distractions to keep the sheep entertained, including the squabbling in the GOP, the NFL protest vs the USA President, and on the Canadian side we have the NDP leader who within days of being elected to head the party in 2019 is now taking fire for not condemning an Indian terrorist who killed over 200 Canadians... The one that many people from India still hold in reverence.... Looks like the NDP are either going to have to conduct damage control right from the opening of the gate, or admit a mistake and find another candidate for leader...... I knew that attempt at multiculturalism would blow up in their face, but I didn't think it would happen so quickly!

What was that last statement? Multiculturalism is viewed by me as negative? You betcha! Why? To explain I'll use history.....

........Rome. The whole reason it fell was due to multiculturalism run amok; every-time they invaded or conquered new territory they would adopt the survivors into the country. As the borders expanded and the multicultural impact trickled into the capital, eventually the whole civilization collapsed. Europe? We're watching the effect now as France and Germany are being completely changed in mere years.... And it's coming to Canada with our Prime Minister tweeting "Diversity is our strength". Well, I'm sorry to burst your bubble of ignorance, Justin, but a simple review of history and current events would indicate a big, fat, NO! Diversity is not a strength by any stretch of the imagination, in fact, it's the exact opposite......

......and it's not racism; a country can be as multiracial as it wants.... I'm stating that anyone immigrating to any country should by legal and moral standards adopt the cultural traditions of that country. There is no room for logical debate in this, and anyone attempting to do so is merely guided by emotions and perception. I simply can't imagine going to another country and maintaining my personal beliefs if they are incongruent to that country.

Travelling? Go ahead and act like a foreigner... It's called being a tourist. However if you are moving to live in another country there must be reasons to do so. It is rude to not acclimate yourself to the traditions and culture, plain and simple. Moving to work in Japan? Not only would learning some Japanese be a good idea, but I wouldn't go there thinking that North America ideology is accepted once you get off the tourist routes. The same goes for any other country. I wouldn't for example, move to India and continue a diet of eating beef; that would be akin to a slap in the face for the native culture! I've said it time and time again, immigration without assimilation is an invasion.

I guess my Patriot mood this morning is being fueled by articles and memes calling for an end to "Thanksgiving Day" and changing it to "Aboriginal Day". I read that over 20 cities in the States are banning Thanksgiving this year (Come November), and the outcry of leftist ideology is sliding Northward into Canada.

This. Slippery. Slope. Of. Re-writing. History. And. Changing. Traditions. Knows. No. End.

There are already places in France that are no-go zones for Police due to mass illegal migrants, and Germany was sliding into the same dark hole as well, until History was made but a few weeks ago when the anti-immigration party took power for the first time. In the States, Trump, is doing his best in a torn Parliament to keep his country safe. Meanwhile in Canada we now have sleeper cells of radical Islamists as reported by independent news sources, and even the CBC is admitting to terrorism in Canada. I personally give France about 5-10 years before the country completely changes..... Germany? The UK? You watch as the UK dissolves into a conglomerate of countries...... That Empire's time has come and is now dying.... The cause for the death of the UK? Globalism.... and using the destabilization of the Middle East to create rampant migration that overruns the native population.  And as each country slowly reacts to the ugly reality, they are doing their utmost to protect their country and their grip on power......

......AH, yes! The tightrope walk of politics. To listen to the people? Or to give in to corporate elitists and the agenda of the 0.01% of the wealthy individuals on the planet. The politicians get their funding by kissing corporate ass, but only get elected by the people.... Oh! What a stressful thing indeed!

One of the biggest problem with democracy is that the demographics change over time if political correctness is allowed to reign unchecked. Time and again, every culture that arose to its dying breath, the only biggest reason cultures change other than unpredictable climate change, is a change in the way society thinks. Sure! We've always had differing ideas, but it was only through working as one cohesive unit that a nation is strongest. When you have two or more ideologies then you have division. This is evident all over the Middle East, including the infamous "Palestinian / Israeli" issue of multiculturalism that continues to creates conflict each and every single day! In Africa, South America, the Philippines, and many other smaller nations, you see the rise of extremism among religious groups with wholesale slaughter of Christians, Buddhists, as well as, the constant state of terrorism in Europe which seem to target natural-born civilians. Acid attacks are up all across Europe, and more recently in the States and Canada. THIS is what multiculturalism is, Dear Diary.... It's two or more ideologies struggling to exist in the same country. It doesn't strengthen a country.... It weakens its military, border defense, and starts to attack the government from within.

(Explicit)!! Go read a history book! Example after example of destruction and betrayal caused by Empires who expanded, only to have their culture changed, and subsequently had the Empire collapse. Like [Sighs]  It's there in black and white.......

....oh! Right! No one reads books anymore. We don't study to educate ourselves, but rather, we teach the children of the nation how to prepare for a test.... And when they don't succeed they are passed on anyway so as to not injure their emotional state. Even in sports, everyone wins because no one keeps score so as to not bruise fragile egos....... And while we brainwash our children to learn the new 63 gender-pronouns, there are other nations teaching their children to kill our children.

It sounds like some twisted, demented joke!

[Sigh] I better go, Dear Diary. I can see this is turning into a rant, and all I wanted to do was come and let you know I was doing ok-ish today... And that I'm probably not writing or doing artwork as there are a couple of things that need to be addressed. I'll talk to you later.... Hope you have a great, shortened, work-week!

October 11th
Morning, Dear Diary. It's raining, cold, and I am tired and in pain. I've been up since about 5 AM. Didn't sleep well either, because Andy is being problematic and was stomping around after I went to bed.

I hate that! Here I am tip-toeing around out of respect, and everyone else does as they please. Let's not forget that Andy is now apparently going out of his way to cook Indian cuisine, because Brian told me in the time I was gone that Andy barely did so.... I understand he was cooking pizza and other Canadian food. Now that I'm back he's stinking up the house with his ethnic garbage on purpose.... Hey buddy... You want to keep India time, and eat like "Back home"? Go home!! As I keep saying over and over again, those that choose to remain living the way they grew up and emigrate to another country are considered rude and disrespectful! Can you imagine if I cooked a burger in his hometown? They would (Explicit) lynch me! So, yea! Double standard in the house, and I'm feeling stress this morning....

...lack of sleep does that.

I don't have much time to write this morning. Even though it's raining, which guarantees no one is going to bug me today, I have to work on my upcoming court case. Yup! More time wasted!

The fact remains, I am NOT getting my goals accomplished. This is due to the environment in which I am subjected to, and the fact that no one seems to take my needs seriously.

What really happened that night? I spoke out, and was ridiculed. The more I think about it, I should have just packed up my shit right there and walked out, but I remember thinking about "My stuff" and "My iguana". The fact remains, Cara never got past the ideology of "Her house", and when I tried to bring a little semblance to normalcy I was attacked...... Attacked for the same thing I kept speaking out against over and over; no rights in the house in which I was living. The fact that Cara had Tim standing beside her and egging on the argument, as well as, mocking me, is nothing new either.......

...why am I revisiting this? I'm in serious pain this morning, fueled by stress and lack of sleep due to roommates acting like they are the only ones in the house. I'm pissed off that I am victim to their whims. I'm irritated that I'm forced to be subjected to the levels of abuse I'm subjected to. And I'm pissed off that I have to waste my time with court shit, because someone decided to come into the home I was living in, created a major issue, and then played the victim. Seriously, had the roles been reversed I would have walked out of that house the FIRST time I was ordered to leave. No one needs to tell me twice when I'm not wanted in such a situation.... Like, can you imagine? Going to another person's house, fueling a fight, and not leaving when ordered to do so by the person who lives there?! Like, what the actual (Explicit) goes through your head?! Is my home not supposed to be a place of safety? Sanctuary?

It wasn't that night.......

........Anyway, I should go. The sooner I get this bullshit dealt with, the sooner I can get on with the rest of my life.

October 12th
I went to bed last night at 9 PM due to cramping, and was rudely woken up at 11 PM by Andy slamming things around in the kitchen. Once awake I realized the people upstairs had their stereo on, and the buzz-buzz-buzz from atop my head kept me awake until past midnight. At 6 AM I was again jolted from sleep due to shoes banging on my ceiling, and then the THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! Of the twat-waffle walking across the floor, and then the thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump as he jogged down the stairs.....

...I had enough! I ran to the door and yelled at the 20-something as he walked away from the building, "Did the landlord not tell you to refrain from wearing your shoes in the house?" He answered something about NOT wearing shoes, which I knew was absolute bullshit. I then told him to start acting like there's people living below him, to which he shot me the finger. I believe I yelled something akin to, "Come back here and do that. I dare you, asspick!". Actually, it was exactly that....

.......he kept walking.

[Sighs] I don't know what to do. I'm trying HARD to be nice, but I can't focus with a lack of sleep. Not only am I exhausted and unable to deal with incidents with my usual grace, my health issues are flared up.....

......Why won't people simply respect each other?

IF I can't seem to bring sensibility to my neighbours and roommates, how in the H-E-double hockey sticks does anyone think they can change the world?! It's like common sense doesn't exist anymore.....

........just so we're clear, Dear Diary, I am very aware that I am a narcissist. I also suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I know where they came from, but I cannot see how an individual with such characteristics can be considered exclusively "Bad". I've had this conversation many times over the course of my life, and although I didn't understand the terminology at the time or even my personal diagnosis, I knew that there was something that set me apart from others. I was raised to be a natural-born leader, but that was only through severe discipline. I was taught to take pride in my work, but only because I grew up in a family-owned business with extreme work ethics; those that failed to live up to the expectations of the authority figures AKA "Family" PLUS "Extended family", were chastised, compared, and in some cases ridiculed and punished. For example, while many children are sent to their rooms to "Clean your room!", most parents realize that it's not the end result of a "Spotless bedroom" that's important, but rather, the act of cleaning and taking care of belongings is a life lesson for their youngster. Not my mom..... We'd tell her we were finished, and she'd "Go check", only to harshly critique our work, and even going so far as to throw things she found unacceptable into the middle of the room and tell us to "Do it properly!". Does it bother me? Even as I sit here, I am struggling to find much fault with her logic. Instead of letting me slide on a poor performance when she knew I was capable of much more, she broke me down and molded me into someone who didn't like being chastised for their work. This attribute was highlighted further when I started working at the family store, where I became accountable for my effort, as well as, my attitude. I remember one time when I had slept in when I was supposed to help my Grandfather open the store, and he called me on the phone to see where I was. When I explained that I had slept in, he simply replied, "Then don't bother coming in today. I don't need you anymore", and then hung up..... You KNOW what that kind of rejection does to a young, impressionable, teenage boy's heart? I'll tell you something, I was never, EVER late again, and even today I tend to be quite early for appointments. I also find that when I am running late I tend to panic a bit. These two instances explain how what might seem like insignificant events actually changed me to be the person I am today. Do I look back on such "Tough love" as negative? (Explicit) NO! I like my strong work ethics, the fact I am conscious of others when it comes to being on time, and my pleasure of having things clean and organized is a very good trait to have. I obsess, because that's what I was trained to do; plan ahead, be aware, think about others. I'm compulsive, because I realize that in life you have to seize the moments and take chances in order to make that extra sale, or go that extra mile.... Or speak to that attractive person..... Is it a disorder? I really don't think so. Instead, what I think people should realize when they meet someone like me, someone who obsesses over every tiny detail to find the exact perfect way to accomplish a task or understand every single nuance of a situation, is that people should stop viewing "Disorders" like OCD or narcissism as negative, because I have witnessed so much positive come from being raised by narcissists. They make tough parental figures, but only because they expect the absolute best from their children..... And that's how I am with everyone; I expect the absolute best in character, use of gifts, recognition of weaknesses, and community-minded.....

......the way I was taught.

Today's youth are NOT taught such life lessons. With much of the focus on self, there is little room for others. I fear for the upcoming generation if this selfish way of life with minimal social interaction is allowed to run rampant!

So, back on point. If a community containing over 20 multicultural individuals comprised of a variety of ages cannot find a semblance of order, then how do we really think there's a chance to get 7+ billion... That's BILLION, with a "B".... 7+ billion individuals with a host of incompatible ideologies to all work together for a common goal? Who is going to oversee this? Globalism? The New World Order? Certainly NOT the United Nations, because that place is a (Explicit) joke! To compare this problem to the one I am currently undergoing....

....let's make the landlord the UN, Brian can be the UK, Mark is like the USA*, James is our Canadian representation, and Andy... Well, Andy is still clinging to his Indian roots regardless of the fact he's in another sovereign country, so we'll make him India. The people upstairs are like North Korea in their isolationism and refusal to participate in anything that resembles community. In fact, they keep firing off insulting demonstrations and remarks without care as to who's panties it twists. Me? Hmm.... Probably Russia..... "Just shut up and do it my way! Is best, yes?... Don't piss me off. I good man, but snap puny sissies with big mouths in half like a twig. Just leave alone, ok?" [Thinks] In that narrative I am supposed to be supporting the people living upstairs, since Russia supports North Korea. [Laughs] Semantics.... Moving on..... Parable time......

........ North Korea, without a care as to its neighbours, conducts marching drills and weapon testing with abandon. Russia, who shares a border with NK, is mildly concerned at first, but over time begins to grow weiry-some of the thoughtlessness of the isolated state. Russia approaches the United Kingdom and begins to negotiate with terms to find order in the chaos, but the UK is practically on the other side of the planet, and doesn't really feel any negative effects, except for the odd occasion when the Earth rattles a bit due to the increased activity of NK, like when they invite their allies over for a rambunctious party. UK tells Russia to plea to the UN in order to perhaps get NK to stop its constant barrage. Meanwhile, while all of this is going on, the United States of America suddenly decided to make a land-grab toward Russian soil**, upon which, Russia decided to withdraw its contact with USA, and further isolates itself toward the UN. The UN decided to stop talking to Russia, after explaining that NK is fully within their right to conduct certain testing, but it did say that it would speak to the rogue nation about the violations of nuclear weapons. At the same time, a jolly, good-nature Canada joins the entourage, and is proven to be well-liked by all. Canada's presence is never directly in the numerous conflicts across the planet, but it does talk to all the other nations behind the scenes. India in all this time plays the victim-card, but constantly goes out of his way to cause drama; conducts himself like he's back home, chastises others for their country's traditions, and then plays the victim when someone chastises him. For months the drama unfolds.... Russia vs India, USA vs Russia... And THEN, USA and Russia decide to make nice! Suddenly the two countries are working on project unilaterally, and even getting together for causal outdoor parties. While there is the occasional hiccup between the two nations, Russia and USA continue to work together for mutual benefit...... Not so with NK. The rogue nation seemingly ignores the UN demands for recognition of the fact that there are other countries to consider, and continues to conduct itself as it pleases. Being that Russia is directly affected by NK, it suddenly become a major stand-off between Russia and NK. Meanwhile, India decided to be a dick, and secretly contacts the UN to tattle-tale on the UK, USA, Canada, Russia, and all the other countries he doesn't like, prompting a major false-flag event that essentially makes everyone but NK and India potential criminals.........

...and on October 12th, 2017, Russia took direct shots at NK, who in shock, returned fire. It's quite certain the United Nations will be contacted by the rogue regime, as they cry victim in yet another cat-and-mouse situation between the friendly-but-firm Russians and the isolated, self-destructive, North Korean regime. More to follow.

* Good guy. Friendly, but a bit loud. Very generous to to others, but every-time he goes out to the bar he ends up with his shirt town off. It's like you just want to say to him, "Dude! You're a decent fella, but sometimes you're a real dick!"
** The lawn mowing incident - Mark decided he wanted to cut HIS side of the lawn. Big argument.
*** Remember this man beat the crap out of his girlfriend a chapter ago while I was in the house. I still wish I had done something about it, but I didn't want to get involved since there's already bad blood between us.

[Laughs] Well, Dear Diary. It would appear as though I am in somewhat of a creative frame of mind today, so I should get my butt in gear and try my hand at writing a bit. I know I promised to help the UK.. I mean, Brain, move a few things after noon, so there's not much time.... Kinda chewed up a bit of my morning writing that last parable. [Chuckles] But it IS damned good, eh?

Hope you have a great day! We'll talk again very soon!

October, Friday the 13th
Good morning, Dear Diary. Today marks a date on the calendar that many people find to be attributed to "Bad luck". In fact, there's a whole movie series based on the title, "Friday the 13th" in which a serial killer goes around... Well, you know..... Anyway, I know for a fact that superstition is usually based on some glimmer of truth; the number 13 is unlucky because of it's correlation with the last supper Jesus Christ shared with his disciples... 12 disciples plus Jesus around a table is 13. I remember my Grandmother never setting a 13th [lace setting at a table, and some Hotels don't even have a 13th floor. Other types of superstitions include, but are not limited to. .... A mouse or a bird in the house is considered unlucky to some, but this is based on the fact the plague was carried on vermin. Walking under a ladder isn't bad luck, it's just a dumb thing to do, because things can fall on you, or you may even brush the ladder itself and cause it to come crashing down... On top of you.... Was it bad luck? Or just a lack of common sense?

Happy Friday the 13th.

I actually consider the day to be filled with mostly good luck. [Chuckles] Perhaps that's because I don't fall prey to the ideology of the day marking some bad luck sign, and thus the Law of Attraction doesn't apply to me....... The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself... Oh, and you make your own luck,

Now that I'm done remarking on the date, let's cover the weather. Muggy, damp, and cloudy. Same old.

So.............

.......the proverbial crap hit the fan yesterday afternoon. Turns out the little worm that I confronted at 6:30 AM for waking me up decided to call the landlord (As I predicted) and played the victim card (As I predicted). With claims of "Too scared to live there", and bullshit like, "He threatened to kill us".....

.....Brian heard it, because it was right at his window. A quick phone call from the property management settled that outright lie. By the end of two phone calls, one from the landlord himself, it became apparent what the truth actually was...... And Mike (The landlord) agreed to call the tenants upstairs.

Oh. My. God! Dear Diary, you should have seen that long-haired fool come home at 4:30 yesterday! He stomped up the stairs, slammed the door, and then proceeded to jump from one end of the house to the other FIVE TIMES wearing his street shoes. Did he make a point? Yup! The guy is a twat.... An immature, passive-aggressive, lying, whiny little twat! Anyway, the landlord heard all about that... And I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for THAT telephone conversation.

At the end of three phone calls I merely promised to avoid them, with the reassurance that action would be taken to stop all this drama.

I awoke this morning, feeling refreshed and in good spirits. There was almost zero noise coming from upstairs this morning. Yay! You know what else didn't happen? I didn't end up ticked off and trying to talk first thing in the morning either. See how that works?

[Chuckles] I guess I should write this all down using the parable I started yesterday. I did forget to make one point about why I chose Brian as the United Kingdom. While I was basing which country to pick on people's personality, one of the reasons why I chose the UK for Brian is because he has other issues with those that live under the same roof, and he is contemplating leaving. That's right, the UK is talking about leaving the UN.

Bombs Away
Cast (Not all are real names*)
United Kingdom - Brian
Russia - Zzorhn
India - Andy
Canada - James
North Korea - 3rd floor tenants (5 in total)
USA - Mark
United Nations - Landlord
Israel - Property Management
Australia - Sheldon

After NK decided to take parting shots at Russia in the early morning of October 12th, whereupon Russia reciprocated in turn, the NK delegate fled the scene and immediately contacted the UN.

With cries of "Russia has lit the match of war, and is issuing death threats", the UN staggered. The fact that the UN gives full support to the NK regime and turns a blind eye to some of their offences came into play immediately, and the bias UN took the death threats as fact. In a rush secret council meeting, the UN spoke with Israel about Russia's perceived direct and open confrontation with the NK delegate. What was said during that meeting will remain unknown, however, once the secret meeting was over Israel immediately contacted the Russian leader.

The lengthy conversation between Israel and Russia was emotionally charged, but in the end the Israeli spokesman seemed assured that this was not an act of Russia aggression, but rather, a respond to the consistent violations of NK. Some of the issues raised during the meeting was ascertaining the threat level of Russian involvement, the incident itself, future tension, and negotiation options.

Just as Russia had believed the issue to be over, the UN for the very first time in recorded history, reached out to the Russian bear. It was quickly determined that Israel had NOT believed Russia entirely and took it upon themselves to contact the UN with their concerns. During the lengthy 45 minutes meeting between Russia and the UN there was many issues discussed, almost all identical to the topics addressed during the Israeli meeting only an hour before. In typical Russian fashion the spokesman delivered a blunt message to the UN; deal with NK, and if the violations stop the responses by Russia would immediately end.

The United Kingdom's response to the entire incident was firm, and they also spoke to Israel and the UN on behalf of Russia. Even Canada, albeit much later, pledged their support to the UK and Russia, stating that they too are affected by NK. According to the Canadian, who in typical chippy fashion explained how the NK cat who enjoys scratching the walls was teased by a rubber ball thrown at the ceiling. In his own words, "I'd hear the scraping noise, eh? And I'd triangulate where the noise was above me, and then take this little rubber ball, and WHAM! Hit the ceiling right where the little hoser was making noise. I wish I could see the look of confusion on little kitty's face". With a wide grin, Canada added, "It works! The cat stops scratching...... At least, for a little while".

India fired off a chemical weapon attack in the mid-afternoon that left a lasting stench, and then quickly retreated. There was absolutely no sign of India at all, but when Russia checked in the morning it was clear that India had indeed been prowling around. Even at the time of this press release there has been zero sign of India.

The UK gave Russia great advice; ignore NK, or become a focal point for Israel and the United Nations' wrath.

USA and Australia have been fairly quiet as of late. While they don't exactly adhere to all of the UN demands, they do follow the rules for the most part. Australia is pretty cool about everything it seems, and their laid back attitude is enhanced by intelligence. The fact that Australia is so far removed from all the action is the biggest reason they have little-to-no involvement with the current crisis,

Since the incident the tension seems to have been alleviated. Apparently sanctions against NK IS effective after all........ For now........

BREAKING NEWS! As of two minutes ago, the United Kingdom and Canada both dropped chemical weapons** designed to remove the effects of the India chemicals. This effort is a direct response to both the actions of India, and the reluctance of Russia to be the main adversary in the conflict. Yes, ladies and Gentlemen, this is subterfuge at the finest level by allies working together.........

[Takes a stretch] Well! There we go. I read my diary entry from yesterday to James and Brian, and they both thought it was very funny, and "So true".

I've had a rough morning. I'm now being expected to "Go outside" to medicate. Am I really going to go out with a marijuana smoking device and light up on the sidewalk in front of the whole neighbourhood? How (Explicit)ing ridiculous is that?!? [Shakes his head and snort in derision] Bloody (explicit)ing likely!

Well, I should jet. It's now afternoon as I write, and I think I want to slide over to the Yule story. Hope you have a great day, and an even better Friday the 13th........ Talketh sooneth.

* Remember my personal ethics of using people's names without permission? Those that I ask and give permission are used.... The others are monikers or outright false.
** Bacon and beef burgers


October 15th
Good morning, Dear Diary. It's windy and the call is for thundershowers.

I was invited by Diane to go pumpkin picking today, but apparently she took the kidlets yesterday instead. Oh well, there's always next year.

Yesterday there was a "Party" in the small park behind our house. They set up tents and speakers, a big spread of food, and invited all the neighbourhood...... I decided to go...... Not for the food, not for the music, but because of the fact I was asked to attend and provide some entertainment for the kidlets in the form of medieval fighting..........

.....well! It didn't take much convincing for me to get all dressed up in my gear, and haul a bunch of weapons over to the park. I set up on the far side away from everyone else, and started running games with the kids. It was a blast, and I know the children had a great time....... But from what I hear there was a few disgruntled parents in the crowd who didn't like the idea of their kids playing with weapons, even if they were made of foam. Did anyone get hurt? Two children... Albeit VERY slightly. The first one got popped in the head lightly, and was more shook up by the fact someone hit him than the force used... I was watching... I halted the game, went over to him and offered a little pat on the shoulder, and ascertained the little fella's disposition. I saw a concerned woman standing off to the side and instantly deduced that was the child's mom. Without missing a heartbeat I blurted, "Hey mom. Is this a cookie-will-cure-it-cry?", and she smiled slightly, and nodded. I then asked the little boy if he wanted to sit out for a bit or keep going.... He went to see mom, but was back in the next game. The second child was actually popped in the shoulder by me...... It wasn't THAT hard, but I know my swings can be intimidating, and although I DO pull my punches (A trick learned from Amtgard - "Audible pop" for kills vs Belegarth "Hit as hard as you like") I've been told time and again that I do not know my own strength. Anywho, I stopped the match when I saw the child wince and favour his shoulder, and went over to check. Yup! He got hit, and seemed a little confused at being hit more than the force of the hit itself. I asked him if he wanted to keep playing and he firmly nodded his head, so I made him jog over to the closest orange marker (Road cone) and back to ascertain his condition. He was fine, and went back into the fray with new determination.

It's a rough-and-tumble sport.

That first real hit is devastating! While many don't consciously think about the fact that IF the weapon used was REAL they would be dead, they are still always upset. For most it's a bit of a sting, but a bigger blow to one's pride. The act of being hit by something or someone is also alien to an entire generation of society that has been told not to hit, not to bully, not to take up arms..... And even not to defend themselves; instructed to follow law enforcement instructions, they are content in the ideology that only those of authority should have weapons, and have never (For the most part) learned HOW to fight. It matters not what sport we're talking about, and the list of contact sports can include hockey, football, paintball, or martial arts, not just medieval combat sports. I remember the first time I was shot by a paintball.........

.......directly in the hollow spot in my throat where my collar bone meets my voice-box, and the guy that shot me was using red paint. I heard the ZZzzzzAP! of the bullet, the sting of the impact on bare skin, and my hand instantly went to my throat in shock and pulled away red, sticky paint........ I thought it was blood for one TINY second, I (Explicit) you not!! I remember having to convince myself that it was indeed just a paintball, and that I could simply walk off the bullet to my throat because it was only a game......

...I don't remember the first time I was hit while "Sword-fighting" as a child. Back then we had no such thing as boffers or organized medieval combat sports.... We used sawed-off hockey sticks or tree branches.... And no one held back on their hits! It was competitive, and more akin to a "Lord of the Flies" scenario than combat sports... No parents or referees, with only kids making up the rules (Usually as we went along) From my brothers and sisters, to the whole neighbourhood and even the school-yard (Burriss School - With it's sprawling forest behind the school) we all fought with broom handles, broken hockey sticks, or wooden clubs. [Shrugs] Yep! Hit each other, and there was injuries abound..... But back then the mantra was, "Kids will be kids", and "Dirt and blood are just signs of a healthy child"....... Heck! From grade 1 - 4 there was whole teams who built forts made out of whatever could be scavenged from the surrounding acres of forest, and from those forts (Built by 6 - 9 year-olds) we would launch raids and attacks on others.

Can you imagine today's school getting caught allowing its Primary classes to roam several acres of wooded land without teacher supervision (For the most part - Teachers stayed in the school yard), complete with winding trails and even a small brook running through? The forts were hand-built by young children, and many did come crashing down in some of the raids. The small brook had little child-made bridges to cross, and although it dried up by the time June came along, it was flooded for most of the Spring..........

....... No deaths, no major injuries (That I'm aware of), and the loud school-bell always brought us running back to the class. [Chuckles] Kind of went off on a tangent just now, eh? Oh, well....

......the point I was trying to make is that there is guaranteed to be some parental / authority figures who will view such a demonstration as negative. I guess one of the neighbourhood teachers was heard commenting how it was wrong.... Guess we'll have to see what type of fall-out occurs from this; either asked back for more demos, or told not to show up again. [Shrugs] Yup! Like that.... And even more interestingly so, while 99% of the people might not have cared or even thought it was perfectly fine, that remaining 1% could choose to make a big enough stink to shut everything down. Sounds quite a bit like the way EVERYTHING in Canada is these days, doesn't it? A TEENY minority cry foul, and suddenly the whole country has to change their attitudes and actions.

Anywho, it was fun!

I'm hurting today, though. Not only my legs and shoulders from engaging in a rough-and-tumble activity, but also my health issues. It's nearly noon as I write this, having sat useless for a couple hours this morning....

....I'm freaking TIRED! Not only did I barely manage to get 4 hours sleep the night before due to neighbours (Kept away from 1:30 AM - 3:30 AM), last night wasn't much better. From excess noise due to the people above me at all hours (It seemed) to a loud argument right outside my window, I dozed off and on. Broken, interrupted sleep isn't going to quite do it...... And although I want to write and craft, my mind isn't at its sharpest. Factor in annoyance at being subject to other's whims and the direct correlation with my lack of sleep, and the fact it's caused by rude neighbours? I am trying my best to remain in good spirits.... A tired mind doesn't have the ability to deal with stress as easily as a refreshed one.... And I don't right goodly.... [Chuckles]

I really want to do some cleaning today, and right now seems like a good time to do it. Almost everyone is out of the house, and being that it's coming up on noon means I can make as much noise as I like. Guess I should get my butt in gear.

Hope you have a really great Sunday. Due to thundershowers I'm staying in.... Maybe some art later. Who knows? Talk soon.

5 PM
The landlord was over here showing off the vacant room next to me. During that time we talked, and all is well.... However, when he went downstairs he found a major water leak. As I sit here right now we are without water, because he is content to wait until Monday morning for the plumber.

Ugh!

Just so we're clear, Dear Diary, I have to be up early tomorrow and out the door in time for court. That means, showered and shaved, as well as, having bathed Hephestusamazilion. This all requires water... Specifically hot water. And, here NO ONE is taking this matter seriously!

I had taken the time to boil up some paper mache glue, and since I can't wash my hands I can no longer do what I planned. All I've done for the last couple of hours is sit and watch a couple of episodes of "House". I guess I could write, but I'm not in the mood...... But then again, it's not like there's much else to do right now. [Sighs] Better get at 'er.

October 16th - 8 PM
This morning went exactly as I predicted.... And in some cases, planned. The water crisis last night was going to be extensive this morning had I not taken advantage of the brief moment we DID have running water last night.... I filled up the tub, and used pots to heat up enough water on the stove this morning to get a warm bath.......

....for Hephestusamazilion.

I took a shower last night, and sufficed with a 6 hour-old shave to go to court. [Shrugs] Oh well, my iggy's schedule and stability is more important than a 5 O'Clock shadow. I did wear my suit and tie, as per usual, and looked pretty good.

Finally got to meet the woman who is going to be defending me. I have to admit I am quite impressed! She's extremely efficient in court, well-spoken, carries herself with authority, and is obviously familiar with the other lawyers, as well as, well respected. (This is from only a brief encounter, but it's my first impression) I'm feeling pretty good about this.

After court I rested up for a bit, but I wasn't up to writing or doing much else. Fact is, I was waiting for the maintenance man to come and fix the water...... Between Brian and I, we had to see if he needed any help.... Which he did.. For about an hour or so I helped to move things in the basement where the leak in the pipe was..... I guess plumbers WILL cut holes in drywall if they need to, but won't move the cupboards in front of it. [Shrugs] Got it done, and we finally got water back to the building. Yay!

The weather today was a nippy 11 degrees for a high..... [Shivers]

.....but at least the sun was shining for the most part. I hear tomorrow is supposed to be nicer.

After the plumber left I went with Brian to go see his recreational vehicle that he had given to him. We ended up doing a couple of hours of cleaning out the rotting cupboards and such. It was kinda fun, and before we knew it the front end was stripped down pretty well. Once done and refurbished I can see it being really cool, and I can see Brian getting much enjoyment out of it.

I realize that I haven't said much about the various military's across the planet. (The real ones) What's to say? History will record this as an escalation that hasn't been witnessed since the Cold-War era.... Before that, it was the Korean war..... Or the beginning of any major conflict in our history. Right now both Russia and China have pledged their allegiance to North Korea should USA pre-emotively strike. Meanwhile Pakistan and India are rattling sabers, and the Middle East terrorist organizations are banding together in public statements. Seriously.. Hezbollah and Hamas are pledging to work together... Meanwhile, the United Nation's UNESCO makes anti-semantic slurs* enough to drive the United States of America and Israel to walk out.... So, basically everything is pretty crappy right now, with stress levels that could instantly ignite a powder-keg. It's not good.

Guess I should go. I'm not really writing with much enthusiasm, and I'm fairly tired. Besides..... Andy decided to make another meal that has caused me to have a headache, and between feeling frustrated and ticked off, I barricaded in my room with a towel under the door. I'm not kidding! It's that (Explicit) bad! Hopefully I can vent the place out.....

.....well, hope you have a good night. Let's hope I do too!

* The United Nations is becoming more corrupt as the years go by. Anti-semantic comments are only the thin veil of hate toward Jews and Christians.

October 20th
Good morning, Dear Diary. Sorry for not writing yesterday, but I was feeling like garbage. I'm doing better today, and the sun is shining brightly to help elevate my mood.

There's not much time today to do anything; I have to go and donate blood this afternoon, and I promised to go help Brian pick out some lumber for his RV project.

I've been up since 5:30 AM due to the people living upstairs, however, to their credit it is quite obvious they are trying hard to be quiet. They tiptoe down the stairs now, rather than stomp. Still wakes me up, but at least I can tell they are trying to be considerate. Ergo, I cannot complain.

I'm thinking of having a bit of a campfire in the backyard on Saturday night. Hope the weather holds out!

Things are quiet around the house right now, but that's because there's only James, Brian, and myself here for the weekend. Yay!

Due to the fact I felt like crap yesterday and today finds me in better shape, I took advantage of my ability to be productive and tidied up the house a bit; took out the garbage, swept and mopped the floors, etc. I MUST wash the cupboards and doors around the house someday, because they are marked with fingerprint smudges and such.

Well, I should get my butt in gear and go get ready to go shopping and then head downtown. It's a busy day, and there's no use sitting inside when it's so nice out! I hope you have a safe and happy weekend! Talk soon!

October 23rd
My mom told me this joke...
Whoa! Just realized two days went by without me making an entry. My apologies, Dear Dairy; between helping Brian and being in poor health, I was unable to do any writing in the last 48 hours. My plan today is to rectify that, and see how much work I can get done on the Yule story I've entitled, "Odin's Reprieve". The weather is still warm for the middle of October, but the forecast is calling for rain.

There's not a whole lot of change in the world at this moment; the largest economic-migrant crisis in recorded human history is still underway, the military show-downs between various nations and factions are still slowly grinding together like continental shelves at a subduction-zone, humans are still polluting the planet at an exorbitant rate, and everyone is ignoring the issues.

At a personal level, there's still quite a bit of drama between those roommates and neighbours who wish to live as a community, and those who want to pretend the rest of the house and everything else in it doesn't exist.

Same thing, different scale......

.....20+ adults trying to co-exist and currently failing, compared to the various nations across our planet who are trying to co-exist and currently failing.

"When you eliminate the impossible, then whatever is left, no matter how improbable, must be the truth" - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

When you strip all the superfluous stuff away you are left with the core of the issue. The reason to do this is obvious; find the fundamental reason for the issue. This kind of problem-solving equation is extremely common in our lives, but most of us don't think about it. When something doesn't work, like an appliance for example, we go through a series of elimination to find the reason the appliance doesn't work. In some cases it could be as simple as plugging it into the electrical socket, or in some cases, a good cleaning. There are times, however, when the wiring is completely fried and you come to the conclusion that no matter what you do it simply won't work, in which case you replace it. This same principal of problem-solving can be used in relationships, mathematics, science, and pretty much everything else in life. By a process of eliminating the reasons why something isn't working or is being problematic, you can arrive at the conclusion and fix the issue.....

...but sometimes the answer is bizarre! This is why Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's statement regarding "no matter how improbable" is so important; many humans tend to overlook the obvious, as well as, have difficulty accepting things they cannot rationalize.... It's not a failing, persay, but rather a characteristic of humans, much like how we despise change. The point I'm trying to make is that no matter how ludicrous something may sound or regardless of how insane the rational may be, once you have exhausted all logical rational explanations through a series of elimination, whatever is left MUST be the truth.

People don't like the truth. [Chuckles] So much for logic and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

So, let's apply this formula to my current living situation, and figure out what the stress factors are, shall we?

Take away the silly notions of racism, cultural differences, and other such fickle concepts. I've examined them at length and came to the realization this is does not play a major factor, and is only a mere SIDE-EFFECT of the main issue....

...the main issue... The reason why there is stress.

Everything else, like drama, passive-aggression, snooty phone calls / letters to the landlord, etc,  is caused because of one thing, and if you can get to the root of the issue it will solve everything else AKA the side effects of the stress. So, what IS the single reason that is causing all these other problems?

Isolationism.

No man is an island, or so the saying goes. This holds true, regardless of the individual or the situation. Humans are social creatures, and we need human interaction to maintain a healthy emotional state. It's when people isolate themselves (For a variety of psychological, religious, or a host of other reasons) that problems arise, and it doesn't matter if it's an individual or an entire nation that isolated themselves, the results are the same; inward ideologies focusing only on selfish goals, and an emotional distance that can lead to severe physiological effects.

I'll explain this by simply using an analogy.....

.....LET'S SAY, that one morning at 6:42 AM the neighbour above me comes running down the stairs loudly and slams the door, and squeals out of the parking lot. Normally, I would get angry, because not only is it selfish to do so, but the endangerment of life in our quiet neighbourhood due to what could be deemed reckless driving? Oh! I'd lose it! BUT.... LET'S SAY that I have been introduced to ______ (Still don't know their names after all this time) at one of our backyard campfire parties, because they chose to attend... Let's say that after a bit of time we share a few moments and get to know one another... And just like in the previous example, ______ comes running down the stairs at 6:42 AM,  slams the door, and squeals out of the parking lot.... I groggily look at the alarm clock and realize due to the fact I have had the chance to know ________, that he is running late for work for some reason, and I decide to let him have a free-pass... Because in this example, he has shown me a similar respect. THAT is what combats drama.... Communication.

The way to combat isolationism, is community.

Make an emphasis for the neighbours in the surrounding housing complex to associate in a community-minded fashion, and all the rest of the problem will be solved, or at least, made much simpler to negotiate......

......So....to bring our conversation full-circle, the way to combat the various issues on the planet is to combat isolationism. Make everyone realize that we are all made of the same "Stuff", and while we might ALL be a little DIFFERENT, we are ALL the SAME!

Not so easy when you realize that in order for that to actually happen, EVERYONE must be measured on the SAME SCALE..... And I don't see that happening........

Donald Trump: "North Korea needs to give up it's nukes...."

"Kim Jong-il: "You first."

.....Same. Scale....... For decades, the States, Russia, France, and China have conducted MANY nuclear tests, which inevitably lead up the various nuclear negotiations and treaties. How can these nations point the finger at another nation, who is essentially doing the exact same thing that everyone else did? And, if I may point out, due to the fact they are receiving assistance in the form of technology, that North Korea is quickly making themselves a nuclear-state with less of an environmental impact than the ones making the accusations! USA? They are STILL cleaning up various radioactive sites from disasters and hundreds of tests! Russia? Whole sections of Russia are uninhabitable due to weapon-testing and uranium extraction. Ukraine? They are STILL cleaning up Chernobyl! Meanwhile, Japan makes Chernobyl 1980's disaster look like Disney Land, as the whole Pacific ocean reels from various radioactive elements and heavy elements that are poisoning the entire food chain. China? While they may be not as much of a nuclear threat compared to the big two, Russia and United States of America, they are responsible for similar activities like tests and upgrading uranium to weapon-grade plutonium. Israel? Armed and ready. Pakistan? Just give the order to launch Armageddon! Iran? They have weapons... After all, where do you think North Korea is getting its missile technology from? I mean, it's not even an educated guess because North Korea barely reverse-engineered the Iranian technology, and then paraded it out for the world to see. France? Same as the rest of the nuclear-armed nations; possessing nuclear weapons, but against the testing or military use of the weapons of mass destruction...... Hypocrites! The whole lot of them!

No. One. Should. Have. Nuclear. Weapons!

So? How do you solve the issue? As I said before, the only way to find commonality with a stranger is to get to know them. The only way to learn what someone is like, is to take the time to listen to their story. The only way to combat isolationism, is community... You NEED to make the concept of community the FOCUS of all the peace-talks, all the negotiations, and all the International political-maneuvering, because it is only after learning who someone truly is that you can understand them. Only by listening can you find the tools necessary to negotiate peace. It is ONLY by making a community-minded effort to break through the isolation that separates us as individuals and as individual nations, that we can begin to understand each other and work together for mutual benefit. THAT is how you establish peace......

.....whether at home, in your neighbourhood, as a nation, or as a world-wide community. We're all a little bit different, but we're all the same.

Just so we're clear, Dear Diary, the answer to combat global issues isn't Globalism! It's also not Capitalism either, but that's an entry for another day.

I want to give you a "Heads up", Dear Diary, but I'm pretty certain I'm going to be going through a life-changing event. Don't worry, it's not going to affect my health, wealth, or anything like that. I'll let you know once I know a little more about it.... Aren't secrets and surprises fun? No? Yea.. I'll agree with you on that one, I don't like keeping secrets, nor do I enjoy surprises.... But such is life. VERY certain this means another chapter coming soon......

...but for now, I'll let you go. I have a couple of writing projects I want to work on today, so I better get my but in gear. Hope you have a wonderful week! We'll talk soon!

October 24th
Cold and rainy. Good morning, Dear Diary. I'm running a bit slow this morning due to health. I finally just got up the motivation to take my medication outside and imbibe on the porch like a common criminal.  [Swears] Hate having to do that. Don't get me wrong, Dear Diary, I DO imbibe indoors when no one is home, but right now Andy is back from the weekend, and I don't want to take any chances. I'm trying to keep my head down for a bit, so to speak, which for me means avoiding those I have issues with and staying off social media.

Yea, I'm really not feeling well today.

I did some writing yesterday, most notably, a new gaming system for children to LARP. I called it "Forest Quest", and did up a simplified system that kids should understand. I handed in a written copy to one of the organizers in the community. Guess we'll see what they say.

I'm going to lay down and stretch out for a bit. I can't type, even after medicating! Hopefully better health finds me later.

October 25th
Good morning, Dear Diary. It's cold, damp, and heavily overcast. The term I'd use to edscribe the weather today, is gloomy.

I went to bed at 8:30 PM, and woke up at 4 AM. It's quite early as I type this, but I've already been up for several hours now. With such poor weather, I'm going to try my hand at writing for as long as I can. Hopefully things go well.....

.....because it seems that whatever I do, I end up being distracted by someone.

A friend of Brian's came over yesterday. While I've spent some time getting to know this guy, I've developed a dislike for his attitude; everything I say is dismissed or even mocked. Well, Brian wasn't home, and he decided to chat with me for a couple hours. All we did was end up arguing......

......like, no matter what facts I presented I was somehow wrong. It was extremely frustrating, and now I'm rethinking my association with this guy. Whatever, I'm not going to let his belligerence and poor attitude bring me down.

Scrolling through a few of the articles on social media this morning, and eventually found myself in the comment section. While I usually quite enjoy reading what other people have to say, today was different; I'm simply flabbergasted at the general public's ignorance.....

IGNORANCE: (n) Ig-no-rance
[1] a lack of knowledge.

The word ignorant is an adjective describing a person in the state of being unaware, and is often, incorrectly, used to describe individuals who deliberately ignore or disregard important information or facts.

.....Like, wow! It then occurred to me that the comment section on social media does absolutely nothing for those who make comments, in fact, the only benefit derived from that action is more advertising for the original article. Basically the moment you comment on something it shows up in your friend's news feed as well. You know what it doesn't do? Change anything..... Now, I've known this for some time now, but I still keep thinking that if someone like me keeps debuking and debating online, especially on controversial topics posted by mainstream media, that REAL CHANGE will magically occur.... Like, one morning the entire nation will rise up out of bed, turn on their computers only to find my usually well-crafted response to an article on CBC or CTV, and be all, "Gosh, gee, willickers! This bald, ugly fella is totally right, eh? Like, Oh Ehm Gee! Whatever is CBC thinking for posting such obvious lies? Thank goodness for people like that Zoron dude debunking and explaining everything for me, because without him I simply wouldn't get it......" [Chuckles] OK, so maybe not like that, but something like that........

.....which is never going to happen.

You have to understand, Dear Diary, that most people are polarized in their beliefs. After all, that's why they call it "Belief", and NOT "Fact". Faith is believing in something regardless of the ability to prove or disprove it, while facts are just... Well, facts. No belief is necessary, because a fact is something is something is beyond contestation.

Belief: The two-tiered political race in the States is a democratic system.

Fact: For the last 100 years, an uber-rich elite class have picked every single President.

Belief: Canada has freedom of speech.

Fact: Canada, while much more Libertarian than some nations on the planet, it still has several laws regarding what can and cannot be spoken or written.

Belief: Justin Trudeau is a good Prime Minister

Fact: The current Prime Minister in Canada is going down in history for selling out his country to globalists.

HERE'S THE SCOOP...... Most people believe what they hear, which is what corporations and the elitist's are banking on. They spend millions of dollars in advertising some new music artist, claiming "This is the best thing EVER!", and then watch as sales sky-rocket. The same goes for clothes, food, vehicles, gadgets... Oh, HELL! Lemme talk about gadgets for a second....

.....how on God's green Earth do you get millions of people to repeatedly rush out to buy a new phone every year or so? I mean, it's not like your old phone suddenly stops working or something. And, remember when it was "The next hottest device on the market"? Did it stop performing all those functions that were considered new only a year ago? What exactly would prompt people to go out and spend hundreds of dollars of their hard earned money on something they really don't need?!?

Marketing.

How do you take a thriving film and music industry, and rip out its morality and turn it into a major corporation that dominates and bullies small companies and struggling artists?

Lobbying politicians, and marketing.

How do you force small farmers out of business, so that giant factory-farms become the standard?

Lobbying politicians, having laws drafted favouring giant corporations, and marketing.

Corporations make their money by establishing a belief system using marketing, because, the only way to get people to do anything without hesitation is to make them believe they need to.... And today's corporations know exactly how to manipulate the masses.

Well, it's been two days now since I've been feeling like garbage, and I haven't been able to do much. Hopefully I can get to the store today, because I really need to pick up food.

Guess I should go, jump in the shower, and see if I can get a few things done. Talk to you later.

October 26th
There's frost covering everything this morning. Yuck! Good morning Dear Diary, it's Friday-Junior. The sky is overcast, but it looks like the sun is burning through the fog and cloud cover. Hopefully we'll have a bright sunny day.

I'm ticked off this morning. Why? Someone used a guilt trip on me, and using such negative connotations will have an undesirable, opposite effect 99.9% of the time.....

...seriously. Guilt trips don't work on me; all they do is make me feel insulted. Anyway, I was supposed to go and help with an event tomorrow, but now I'm not going........

"I can pick you up around 3....... Although I suspect that you are going to call me around 2 and say that you can't make it."

.........to which I replied, "Well, let's no book me then [SIC]...... not take chances,ok? Maybe another time."


I'm quite certain that's not really what that individual wanted to occur this morning. I'm fairly certain they were just attempting to express concern.  [Shrugs] It's true, I have had to cancel before due to health and sudden unexpected life-moments. Not being able to judge my health from day-to-day makes planning anything difficult, but I also have appointments and an outside life as well, and all these things can become a jumble to keep track of. This is a familiar concept to probably everyone alive today; struggling to balance your professional life from your personal life, and all the little happenstance in-between. Life moves fast in our digital world, and it doesn't leave much room for allowances, like someone with a health issue. Anyway, as I said I'm certain the concern this individual was attempting to express was based on the fact I have missed a few major events lately due to situations beyond my control. The problem, however, is that anytime someone issues a negative connotation with me, my emphatic ability to read people, coupled with my grasp of grammar and body language, kicks my limbic* brain into high gear..... Every. Single. Time.

Here's how that conversation COULD have went.................

Them: "I'll pick you up. Are you sure there's nothing scheduled for tomorrow?"

Me: "Nothing scheduled. What time?"

Them: "I just want to make sure, because you have cancelled a few times. Do you have enough meds?"

Me: "I'll make sure I have some".

Them: "kk. I'll see you at 3".

................See? Concern is expressed, but not as a negative. While the conversation isn't exactly positive either, it's not insulting. I've always said that there are two ways to express yourself; using positive language skills, including but not limited to, body language, tone, proper grammar, with no cursing, as opposed to using negativity to express yourself.

EG: Wife wants husband to take her out for supper.

A) "You NEVER take me out to eat, anymore! When was the last time we went on an actual date night?!"

2) "Can we please go out for supper tonight? I would really love a date-night for the two of us".

D) "Instead of either of us cooking tonight, I took the liberty of making reservations at your favourite restaurant. Go jump in the shower and get all sexy for me, because after supper we're coming home for dessert".

Three examples; one is negative and condescending, one neutral, and one is taking responsibility with positive reinforcement. How do you think the husband will react in each of these situations?

Chances are "A" is going to cause a fight. The first sentence is a guilt-trip, and the impact of such a negatively-charged statement is to invoke a strong emotional response. [Shrugs] The Law of Attraction dictates that "Like begets like", or what you send out into the Universe is received back. Simply put? Don't use negativity, and PLEASE don't use guilt trips on me!

Example "2" leaves room for discussion. It could be considered positive, because it efficiently steers the conversation, but while efficiency is an admirable quality it isn't necessarily positive. When speaking about positive and negative methods of communicati
on, efficiency isn't part of the equation. Getting quickly to a resolution is the ultimate goal during conflict, for example, but it can be done in a negative manner, as well as, a positive one. Ergo, efficiency is neither positive or negative. The key is communication.

The last example, "D", is the exact opposite of "A". Instead of taking a reactive approach to the situation, the wife has taken a proactive approach. Her use of positive reinforcement is sure to seal the deal.... As well as ensure a night out with her husband. Positive reinforcement along with foresight to a resolution is the best scenario, each and every time.

The fact is, there are so many people out there today who use negativity on a routine basis. You only need to be reminded, Dear Dairy, of the pride many take in being sarcastic. Heck! Even I take pride in being able to be witty, and in many cases have responded to a situation with negativity.... In fact, I did so this morning when I declared that I would no longer be attending, "Just in case I have to cancel". [Sighs] I guess in hindsight that was a bit petty, but I have an instant knee-jerk reaction to guilt trips. I (Explicit) hate them with a passion! Anyway, back to my point, I have met people who are so mired in their own negativity that all they exude is poor body-language, crass behaviour, and a general contempt when they speak. It's sad, really, to think that they are so stuck in their little world of ugliness that they cannot see the beauty around them! That's not what really happened this morning, but I'm trying to explain how bad things can get when you allow your emotions to rick-roll over you uncontrolled.

Don't get me wrong, Dear Diary, I am FAR from perfect. The fact I lashed out by choosing to not attend over a few exchanged words proves that I still have quite a distance to go yet in my journey of self-discovery and understanding the "Law of Attraction"!

I'm going to just move on and see what I can get accomplished this morning. I did a little writing yesterday, but I'm at a spot that requires quite a bit of research because I want to get things correct.... And it all takes time..... For, while an author or artist may use creative licence for their work, when it comes to re-inventing a Yule story the more I'm factually accurate the better.

Have a great day!!

* Limbic - The "Lizard-part of the brain, responsible for "Flight or Fight".

October 27th
Good morning, Dear Diary. It's the last Friday in October, and our weather today calls for wind, a bit of sun, but mostly cloudy. No frost this morning, but that's because of the unsettled weather system sitting on top of us right now.

Did a bit of work on my novel yesterday. I'm stuck in a spot, and while I know what's coming up in the book, I'm having a hard time getting through this particular part. It could be due to the fact that this was originally for Cara, but since we have been split up I'm not even certain why I'm bothering to finish it....

...probably because it's damn good.

Today is a bust; Brian wants me to help him do some more auto-body work on his work-truck, as well as, his recreational vehicle. It's the last decent day in 2017, so he wants to take advantage of that. After today the weather is all downhill. We won't see any life-giving heat until the end of winter.

So, not much time to do anything until later this afternoon.

I'm still upset that there was drama surrounding the event scheduled for tonight. I WAS looking forward to it, but now it's just another day. Let's just hope that people realize you can't get away with dropping a drama bomb in my lap without some sort of repercussion. Seriously, it's going to blow up in your face every single time.

Ontario just made it illegal to protest at abortion clinics. More suppression of free-speech by the Trudeau liberals. This isn't just a moral issue, but an issue of natural-born citizens.....

.......while North America is experiencing a extremely-decreased birth-rate, other cultures are exploding in numbers. North Americans are being outnumbered by immigrants, and here we are killing off our children in abortion clinics. Lining up in droves to kill their babies. And now no one can legally protest the immoral practice.....

(Just so we're clear, Dear Diary, I'm pro-choice simply because it's not my position to tell anyone what they should do with their family or body, however, I am vehemently against abortion used as birth control. Rape? Sure. Health issues? Let's save the mom's life..... But abortion should NEVER be used simply for birth control)

......and the (Explicit) Trudeau government just severely increased baby-bonuses for families. Who does this benefit? The Canadian households with only a couple of children? Or the immigrants arriving at our borders with their large families? I'll give you a clue, Dear Diary, it's NOT Canadians. Not only that, but the traitor Trudeau has decreased the wait-time for these families to become citizens from 5 years to 2!! Guess what.... Next election the liberals will have over a million new voters....

....like, gag me with a spoon!

Meanwhile, Trudeau just gave $31.3 MILLION dollars to three Syrian men who had garnered Canadian citizenship, and then traveled back to Syria only to be captured. I don't believe the narrative, and neither should you. This comes after $10.5 MILLION was awarded to Omar Khadr a few months ago, and yet another $10.5 MILLION to another Syrian native-born individual back in 2009! You know where all this money is coming from? Natural-born Canadian tax payers.......

......Canada is now in the business of funding terrorism. That bullshit payout isn't staying in Canada... It's heading back to the Middle East, channeled through Canadian mosques. This isn't even an educated guess, because they've admitted it.

Does anyone else feel like we're living in an age of insanity?

Mark my words, Dear Diary, Canada has Islamic-terrorist sleeper cells, and it's only a matter of time before something major occurs. My prediction is that the border between the United States of America and Canada will soon become barricaded as Canada becomes a terrorist hot-spot, bolstered by new laws drafted by the political-left.

I should jet. I need to get my usual morning routine done so I can help Brian. Hope you have a wonderful weekend! Talk soon!

October 28th
Raining and cold. Guess I can't really complain, because I've been seeing pictures of my family and friends on social media digging out from a snowstorm. Good morning, Dear Diary, it's Saturday.

My plans for today includes laundry, writing, and tidying up the Iguana Cage.

[Chuckles] As I write this, Hephestusamailion is on my bed and fighting with his own reflection. Being unaware of his own existence, he thinks the reflection is another male iguana...... And the more he postures and bobs his head, the other one does too. Poor Heffy!

I'm feeling quite lonely right now. I took note of this a day ago, and I can't seem to shake the feeling of loneliness.... Even in a house full of people I'm still lonely..... But then again, there's my little Hephestus to consider. How do you imagine HE feels? Barely hatched, and then suddenly ripped away from his natural habitat by scary, loud, large alien creatures, only to be crated up in near darkness for lengths of time, shipped in cold, loud, frightening metallic beasts to a strange climate, and spending the rest of his life as the only one of his kind. Alone, until the end of his days. He becomes acclimated to his captivity, or to use a better word, "Institutionalized", and eventually loses most of his natural instincts to forage for food and defense. Over time the fractal-plates in his tail fuse together, and cannot fall off in an emergency like his wild cousins. Trained not to tail-whip, bite or claw, he wouldn't stand a chance against a real predator. In essence, he becomes a shadow of his former self, and molded into something entirely different. HOWEVER, like all brave individuals who fall victim to the hands of fate, his life while completely different is still meaningful. There's NO WAY Hephestusamazilion could EVER be released into the wild, but each day he adapts and matures in the alien environment. This isn't a weakness, but a strength. No longer an individual, he has become a part of a family, as well as, the community in which he lives (Trust me, the neighbourhood kids love him) There is meaning to his life, even if he cannot realize it for himself. There is a silver lining to all of this....... Over time, he forgets "What was" and only remembers "What is". The emotional scars of his abduction as a hatchling become a foggy memory, and he's left with only psychological "Ticks" due to his trauma... EG: He HATES his head covered, it makes him feel trapped. He becomes part of a family, and enjoys interaction with his human family. He enjoys routine and security, something he would never receive in the wild. AND, he never has to worry about predators ever again! So as far as prisons go, the one that encases Hephestusamazilion doesn't look so bad when you really think about it.......

.....maybe I'll spend some time with him today. I think we could both use it.

Well, hope your weekend is going great! I'm going to get up, take a shower, and get my day going. Talk soon!!


October 29th
Morning, Dear Diary. I'm not well today. Lack of medication has left me feeling severely depressed. Yea, it's that time of the month that I have no money left to ensure I'm pain-free.

I guess you could say that I am at fault; I went out last night and spent the last $10 I had on two bottles of beer. Why? I was looking forward to this night for over two weeks, and saved enough to facilitate going to the bar dressed up for Hallowe'en..... [Sighs] Even trying to validate this doesn't make sense.......

....I just wanted to have fun. You know? Dress up like a Sith Lord and walk around town in character. Sounded like a great time..... Now that I sit here in pain I am kicking myself for not grabbing a gram of meds.... Or something. Two beer? That would have ensured one day of no cramping and pain.....

.....my mind isn't in a good place right now. I'm seriously depressed and feeling alone. My pain is making me hate myself, and I feel absolutely alone.

I'm going to go back to bed, and sleep away this day.

October 30th - 9 PM
I am emotionally torn apart. I made some really stupid comments yesterday to people that were once close to me, and I'm pretty certain I burned a couple of bridges. I'm at fault for this, and I've spent the last 24 hours analyzing everything and beating myself up inside.

It's 4 degrees and raining.

Hey, Dear Diary, I know it's late but I need to get this off my chest. It took me quite some time to figure it out, but now that I understand what drove me to acting the way I did yesterday morning it makes it easier to describe.

I love Hallowe'en. Not so much the cold weather, but I understand the semblance between the season of "Death and Decay" and the fact that Hallowe'en is all about spooks, goblins, ghosts, and all mannerisms of undead... As well as, a slewful of Disney characters...... I digress....... I guess the main reason I love Hallowe'em so much is because I can put on my robes and walk downtown with anyone barely batting an eye. It's great fun! For a few hours a year I normally take a walk to a busy section of town and wear some sort of costume. [Shrugs] It's just something I enjoy.

So, when I ask around if anyone wanted to join me and was met with a chorus of "No", I took it to heart.

I went out by myself.

It was fun, but left me feeling very hollow inside. Also, some guy at the bar broke the tip off my good lightsaber. [Sighs]

I slept like garbage, and woke up with my disability flared up. That was mostly likely due to my walking around town, but it could have easily been what I ate that day. Even today I still feel the remnant of the ache, although it certainly not as bad today! Anyway, I was sulking; frustrated, feeling quite betrayed*, financially crippled, and suicidal.

You heard me. Don't worry, I've lived with such dark thoughts ever since I took sick back in 2007, Dear Diary. In some odd way, the fact I can still contemplate my own mortality is a good thing. Just realize that I don't like to give up on anything, so don't go hitting the panic button. I'm ok. I'll get through this.

But, that's what happened; I voluntarily sunk into a deep, dark abyss, and let my mind manifest.

I say voluntarily, because it's a choice. Just like drinking after you've already had a few too many, knowing you'll probably do something you'll regret, is a choice. Far too often we refuse to take personal blame for something using an excuse of "Being out of control", like black-out drunk, a violent temper, road-rage, or anything else that we can place blame on except ourselves. The truth is, you choose to drink to excess, refuse to acknowledge your ideology as wrong, leave the house in a panic instead of a few minutes early and taking your time, and instead of allowing dark thought to manifest in your head you choose to take a walk or go visit with friends to talk. Not making a choice is ALSO a choice, and far too often this is the option most people pick.

I chose to sit in my chair and sulk while wracked by pain, and MY MIND invested new ways to kill myself. From paranormal and supernatural to the absolutely mundane, my brain was a twitter with the challenge of how elaborate I COULD be.

This was Sunday morning.

Now, don't get me wrong, Dear Dairy; there are people who suffer from severe depression. Pick your reason. Me? Mine is simple; I hurt. Not only that, but I look healthy, and no one seems to take me seriously, excerpt for those who are closest and see how it affects me on a daily basis.

I get mean. What can I say? Pain changes people. I understand this, and do my utmost best to avoid people first thing in the morning.

I became vindictive. Not only was I miserable about Hallowe'en, my pain, my broken sword, a lack of medication, as well as, the fact that I was feeling exceptionally lonely and even a little home-sick for some strange reason, I manifested all sorts of angry thoughts about family back home and family in London..... There, I hadn't mentioned the elephant in the room up until that point, but the fact remains I miss my Cara. I'm angry at myself, but that turns back at her** in my head.

Do. Not. Ask. Me. Why. I. Chose. To. Lash. Out.

...... I attacked anyone that even looked at me. Brian avoided me for half the day. I launched an undeserved attack at the care-taker of my property back home, and I think I massively burned that bridge. Another fella from back home now thinks I'm a total twat for the way I was speaking. My mom is upset, because I kept ranting how I simply wanted to die. Like, I was brutal, and an ass.

Now I'm all frikked up inside emotionally, and I don't even know where the pieces go or if they can even fit back together. I keep pushing people away that I love, and I don't get that part...... Because I need friends, and here I am trying to isolate myself.

I just thought about why I want to be alone. It could be because I'm feeling vulnerable.

No worries, Dear Diary. I'll shake this off! After all, everyone has the occasional bad day...... Just wish that when I did a bad day they weren't trailed by so many DAMNED repressions!!

Heffy's lights just turned off. Not much time for me to do anything productive. Probably just play a video game and go to bed.... Maybe I'll have a dream  about some luvvin.

Talk soon.

* For reasons, I will not be specific about this. No I won't tell you what those reasons are. No, you don't get a hint, either. Just realize that I don't or won't mention everything in my diary, especially if it involves someone else.

** Once again, I'm not going to get into details here. Go back and read some of my previous chapters for reasons why I might have validation (At least in my mind) to be upset with her.

October 31st
Good morning, Dear Diary. It's Hallowe'en, and I'm excited to dress up and hand out candy. Brian is helping me fund this, and I think he's only doing that because he realizes how much this means to me. To be fair, he does enjoy the idea of kids "Trick or Treating" for sweets, but just can't summon the effort all by himself. As for the other roommates, they don't care.

No one in these apartment buildings goes out of their way to do much, let alone celebrate holidays. Even Christmas can come and go without a single decoration. It's possibly another reason I am depressed living here; everyone pretends the other roommates do not exist, and no one does anything to benefit others.... Except Brian.

I've watched how he goes out of his way for others. Not just roommates, but friends as well. What can I say about this guy, besides the fact he has a golden heart?

Last day of the month, which means it's time to pay a few bills. That'll take an hour or so today, after which my plans are to head to the store and pick up candy.... Oh! And food.

The weather is forecast to be a chilly 5 degrees with wind gusting up to 25 KM/H. Not exactly decent weather to be walking around from door-to-door in search of Hallowe'en goodies, but it's better than snow.

Growing up our Hallowe'en costumes always fit over a snowsuit. By the time October 31st rolled around there was ice and snow covering the ground. In fact, looking at pictures and comments from those back in North-Western Ontario, it's evident the weather is proving to be more of the same. [Shivers] Snow...... Yuck!

Lots to do this morning, so I better get at it.

I do want to make one note regarding International matters; the United States special investigation team into the 2016 election and the supposed-meddling of Russian officials, has hit a milestone today as Robert Mueller of the FBI laid charges against two individuals. I expect more to come, but at the moment it's pure conjecture as to what way the investigation will turn.

Remember my BIG announcement, Dear Diary? It's not a good one, just we're clear........ I think I'm ready to make it public..... [Sighs] Here goes.......

........WHEN I ended up in jail on September 20th, I was held until Friday afternoon at 5 PM. By the time I made it home, and due to the fact I didn't have a computer or my cell phone, I MISSED MY CHECK IN FOR MY TALENT AGENT! Now ordinarily this wouldn't be a problem; I'm allowed to miss three check-ins in three months, or basically I'm allowed to miss one week a month. I've always been right on time to check in as to my availability each week, and rarely missed any......

......so when I missed that week I phoned them to let them know what happened.

Like some cruel twist, my explaining the truth seemed to have the opposite desired effect. I was told that based on the fact I am attending court for domestic charges at the moment, they didn't want me to be on their roster.

The truth will set you free, or so the saying goes. Turns out, the truth in this case cost me a talent agent.

So, there it is, Dear Diary. This endevour has cost over a thousand dollars, and while I am still left with the tools to obtain another agent (I can still use my computation cards, etc) I am also left with a sense of bitterness and frustration. In two and half years I have only had two opportunuites to star in film........

...but meanwhile my fan-base keeps growing.

I'm a bit devastated by this turn of events, and it has been nagging on my subconscious for almost a week. Most likely this is contributory to my feelings of depression.

There it is, Dear Diary. Fate has dealt me a new hand, and while it may seem crippling in some way, it's probably for a reason. Things change, and it's how we deal with that change that makes all the difference. My plans for now are to focus on my writing, and try and find an editor..... You know? Take a different route to achieve my goals in life.

Alrighty. I think it's about time to start a new chapter in my life. Things are completely changed, and with the changing season it seems like a good time to start chapter sixteen. I'll see you on the next page......

THIS IS THE END OF CHAPTER FIFTEEN. IF YOU WISH TO CONTINUE READING MY JOURNEY, PLEASE TURN TO CHAPTER SIXTEEN.


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