Obscure Arcanum - Chapter Nineteen

A DIARY (also called a journal) is a record (originally in handwritten format) with discrete entries arranged by date reporting on what has happened over the course of a day or other period. A personal diary may include a person's experiences, and/or thoughts or feelings, including comment on current events outside the writer's direct experience. Someone who keeps a diary is known as a diarist.


Is this your first time here? It's always best to start at the beginning.
Technically this whole blog is one big online diary; from my earliest attempts to share my thoughts with the world, to short stories and poems, full length novels, and a few different types of journals, I have been documenting my life and the world I live in, since 2006. The "Turn the Page" series explained how I came to live in Southern Ontario, and an earlier journal entitled, "Between the Bars of a Jail Cell" was not only my debut to diary keeping, but also a great way to burn away the time I spent incarcerated for crimes I didn't commit. "Fire-bombed" explains how I became homeless three times in a month-and-a-half.

That's what this all is; a record keeping process that keeps me grounded. As I read through my work I can get a better sense of who I am as an individual and how my life is evolving, and that's a very helpful tool indeed! Through my words I can get a clear sense of my mindset, emotional state, and focus. It's easy to see when there are dark times in my life, and you can definitely tell when things are going well.

Just a quick note regarding my integrity in this journal;

A) Once something is written / posted, I will not delete it or try to fix it in some way. I feel strongly about this, because it's usually during the times of extreme duress and frustration that I expose my raw emotions the most. Once my work has been witnessed by others, it would be akin to online trolling using a "Bait and Switch" tactic if I were to post something untrue or even libel and then erase it. Regardless of the legality of the situation, and / or the current punishment for posting any such information, there's my own personal integrity to take into consideration. I set the bar high for myself in all things, and my diary is to remain as unmodified as absolutely possible for prosperity sake. (To date there have been only three times I have deleted / switched content in my journals - They were done for extreme reasons)

2) I will not use names in my entries without asking first. Events and / or details can be used, however, any mention of names will be done only with verbal permission.

D) I don't write about every single little thing that I do. This is due to the simplistic fact that I'm certain most people don't care about all the mundane aspects of my life. On the flip side, I don't give away all my secrets...

......Which has come back to bite me in the past.

So as long as you understand how this works we should have a good time! You are welcome to email me or even text.  If you want to you can always look me up on social media.

Not every chapter in your life will be happy. As you read through the different chapters in my life, you can tell the times I am struggling and the times I'm happy......

.......We all make mistakes in life. As I grow and learn, there are going to be moments where I feel weak, just as there are going to be wonderfully grandiose moments. Due to my drive to become a better individual, these mere diary entries become a success story detailing the hardships and triumphs along the way.

This is my success story.

One thing I have noticed about the Obscure Arcanum series is that over time I am beginning to make more references to worldly issues. This is being done for two main reasons. The first reason why I am mentioning more politics is because I believe we are living in a transitional era of humanity, and the second reason I am making references to worldly issues is due to my desire to bring the truth to others who may not have the ability to see past the propaganda and rhetoric of mainstream media. From climate change to proxy wars and the subsequent mass illegal-immigration, this planet is being changed before my very eyes, and I believe that as a journalist and author it is my duty to record these occurrences.

Welcome to Chapter Nineteen!

Where do I start?

A) I'm currently single. I'm also leaning heavily towards the MGTOW movement. (Men Going Their Own Way)

2) The “slipped disk” in my back turned out to be much worse; I have severe arthritis in two spots of my lower back and the nerves to my legs are being pinched. This means daily pain plus my mobility is still limited. I now use a cane to walk any distance.

D) I'm taking medication daily.

I ended up homeless on December 4th, 2018. More to come on those details.

The weather has been the same as February 2017; you can't rub three dry days together. That's two years that London has been under a constant cloud. This is based on testimony from several others who live in the Canadian city of 380,000.

I DO have a place to live now. I took possession of my new address on February 1st, 2019. I have many stories about that two month gap i9n my life, but that will be written as a separate article.

Watch for the links to those two upcoming articles, as well as, other projects I publish in the near future.

My life has been irrevocably changed since the last time I wrote an entry. It would appear that I have quite a bit of work to do.

Zzorhn

February 8th, 2019
Good morning, dear Diary. As I stated in the introduction, I have quite a bit of writing to do. As for myself? Well, the weather is continued crappy with major wind gusts... Which resulted in the neighbours three floors up to have their porch door banging wildly from the wee hours until only recently. Hephestusamazilion is still adjusting from the move, and so am I.

The two articles I mentioned are my plans for today.

Right now I have no desk to sit at and write. I'm typing with a keyboard on top of my lap. I imagine this is what "Kicking it old school" feels like..... No, wait.... For that I would need a type-writer.

I'm worried about my iguana, as it's colder than his previous home. I'm thinking about options to help winter-proof our little home.

Home.... This place still doesn't feel like it. Not only am I doing without quite a few of my personal belongings, but my heart doesn't feel right either. Toss in my roommate's cat that has already damaged a plant, strange noises and lights, and the fact I feel quite lonely, and my mood is pretty grim....

......It's taken me months to write. This is indicative of not only my physical states, but also, my state of mind.

At least I'm writing now.

I have to keep reminding myself that this is what I wanted, because right now it doesn't feel very conducive to a positive mindset.

How about I stop being so vague, and go and write the two articles? At least that way I can clear up a few details, but also try to help you, Dear Diary, understand what recently occurred to change my life so much. Perhaps the experience of writing things down will help me... I hope so....

......Short entry today, however, I'll be writing for at least a day on the two articles I plan to pen. I'll just have to talk to you tomorrow.

February 9th
Good morning, Dear Diary. The weather today is more blowing snow and freezing temperatures, but at least we're not getting the dangerous digits like Western Canada is currently receiving; with temperatures of -30 and windchill measurements of -59, the cold snap is gripping the country like a steel fist.

As you know well, Dear Diary, I like to get information from both sides of any debate, and yesterday I watched a documentary on how the changing climate on Earth can be linked to several factors. The part that stuck out the most for me was when the documentary explained how we humans are currently living in one of Earth's most quiet periods in time. The predictable weather we've come to expect is more akin to a blunder or quirk. The fact we've had no super-volcanoes blow up recently, or worse, a basalt eruption that lasts for a thousand years, is a fluke. We reside on a tiny piece of space rock hurtling through the universe in what is effectively a shooting gallery of dangerous asteroids, gamma rays, supernovas, black holes, and the odds that ewe even exist are phenomenal!

OK, so the documentary didn't say all that, but that's what my mind garnered during the program.

So, a slow Saturday..... Perhaps, but then again, I have a couple of friends claiming they want to visit. So, it's hard to say what I'll be up to,. There's a good chance I'll be doing some light cleaning before my company arrives.

Didn't get much writing done yesterday like I wanted to. I'm having difficulty putting my thoughts down exactly the way I want. This is an important assessment of my personality and judgment-making, and I not only want to document it properly, but I'm also struggling with some of my choices.

Yes, I'm being vague. You'll have to forgive me, Dear Diary, but let's just say that the main reason I'm not divulging all the details at this time is because I don't want to perform character defamation or give you the wrong impression.

What's going on in the world? Well, Justin Trudeau is currently under fire for breaking the law, but that's nothing new. Donald Trump is slowly becoming a better President; there's even talk of another peace negotiation with North Korea. Europe is tearing itself apart while aristocratic-globalists quibble about what slice of pie they get when their country lies in tatters. The Philippines is experiencing political turbulence as their President comes under fire for the way he's handling the country's drug war. Venezuela is under siege while the world is directly interfering in the hopes of uprooting the current President.....

...shame shit, different day. Let me explain... No, wait.... There is too much.. Let me sum up........*

.......The Canadian Prime Minister is once again breaking the law and denying it. The matter will disappear like all the rest of his scandals. The Donald is slipping into his shoes, and learning that he can't bully congress. Brexit is dead, and Europe has no borders.** All the Third-World countries are corrupt or they wouldn't be a Third-World country in today's modern age. USA, Canada, Russia, et all, are constantly conducting regime change; while the US is the most guilty of this, Russia comes in a close number two.

The world spins around the sun, and time goes on.

Hephestamazilion is doing better this morning. He's been sleeping in bed with me at night to keep him warm. This also helps to work on the bond we have.

I guess I should go. I've got things to see and people to do. Hope you have a wonderful Saturday!

* Yanero Montoya, in the "Princes Bride"
** You cannot have a country if you don't have defined borders.

Monday, February 11th, 2019
Good morning ladies and potential rapists.  I'm in a bit of a fighting mood today as I'm getting frustrated with not being able to acquire the rest of my belongings from She-who-shall-not-be-named.

Let's not beat around the bush; I have a restraining order that prevents me from being in the vicinity of the house in which my stuff is located, and I am not legally able to contact the individual who is waiting to have my belongings removed as soon as possible.

This all makes for a very complicated ordeal!

To break this down, I cannot contact the person where my stuff is to make arrangements of any sort. IF I wanted to go inside the premises to pack / move I would need a Police escort.... You only get one....And I burned mine on January 31st, 2019....

...UGH! What a shit-show! Seriously.

Imagine if you will, having made all the necessary arrangements to have everything accomplished in one day, only to have it completely fall apart and fizzle out? The day of the big move everything was in order; the workers were ready, the truck was rented, the two movers were strong and able.... And then, they cancelled due to weather......As it was completely crappy outside with windchill rocking negative thirties. But!! When I tried to make other arrangements the moving company won't return my texts So, no movers, no truck, no helpers, and I had to call off the Police escort.

That was my one and only chance to help get my belongings from the house.

Since that day I have sent a friend over a few times to get what he could in his car. The problem now is that everything left is too large to fit in a car..... So....

.....I've spent this morning trying to see what can be done to fix this problem. As I pen this diary entry it's nearly noon.

I forgot to give today's weather forecast. It's cold! Damned cold! Cold, so cold it freezes people to death! Toss in some irritating variable wind and a mix of rain and snow, and what you have there is a recipe to ensure the insurance companies take a hit. More clouds... Yadda, yadda.....Same old... No sun.

You'd be surprised what the sunshine can do to living creatures, including humans. From receiving vitamin D3 to lifting our spirits, the sun plays a major role in how people act, think, and most especially their mood and temperament. For example; right now everyone is gloomy and in partial-hibernation mode.

Hephestusamazilon is doing ok. Still being picky about what he eats for the moment, but this is due to the sudden change he underwent. He sleeps with me every night for warmth, but I also suspect he enjoys sinking down into the soft body-pillow I place him on. Much better than a hard bumpy branch or log, eh?

My sleep is better. That's a good thing.

My depression seems to have lifted. This weekend I tackled a few walls and even the kitchen stove. Everything is a bit dirty as the roommate I have now has limited mobility. I fully vow to do my utmost to keep our little apartment clean.

I've spoke with my new roommate about my online diary, but haven't yet got her permission to use a name.

Things are OK-ish at the new place. It would be a heck of a lot better if I had my computer desk upon which to work! It would also help to get my paints and such so I can get back to doing art to make a little money on the side.

Most importantly, I need to start working on "Debunking the CBC", and "Odin's Reprieve". These two tasks are of the utmost importance right now in my life.

Changing topics, when I was in the homeless shelter and pushing myself around with the use of a walker or cane, one of the other people staying there asked me a series of questions about my health and how it has impacted my life. Then I was asked if this impacted my faith.

I told them the story of Job from the Bible. For anyone not familiar with the story of this man just go look at the portion of the Bible labeled "Job"; start at Chapter one, Verse one.

In my use of the story of Job I explained that HAD I NOT been stricken with the physical ailments that plague my day, I would not be in the place that I was....

....back in North-Western Ontario I had two companies and tried to work a full-time job. Then, as you well know, Dear Diary, I was hit in the guts with a major medical problem, pun intended.

I ended up in London with not quite 200 pounds of belongings to my name. Heck! My mom was the one who bought me the bus ticket, even paying the overweight fee for the luggage I was toting. We both knew I had to get out of the Rainy River district, and although it hurt dearly to leave, I resettled in the city of London. Since that time I have made a life for myself and knocked more things off my bucket list than you can imagine! I've also become physically worse....

.....a recent MRI confirmed that I have a pinched nerve in my back in two places. I now take medication to keep me mobile and able to deal with the pain.

ANYWHO, since 2014 I have garnered a few more things along the way. No longer can Diane simply load up the back-end of her van, as it now takes a trailer to haul everything. I am powerless in this situation, and quite at the mercy of others.

Like Job, I have been beaten down, battered, broken, and bruised. I've been tempted, had my faith challenged in more ways than one, and lured away from the Church due to circumstance..STILL!! I have my faith in the Lord, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Trinity!

Maybe that's why I'm in such a determined mood today; my faith in God and my friends is as strong as ever! It could also be that I am determined that I have made the right choices in my life, not to mention the fact I never would have started writing had I not become stricken with health issues,

I spoke with Diane, and we're going to somehow gitter-done. James is also willing to help out, but between the two of those individuals it might be hard to schedule anything! Both are busier than a cat trying to cover crap on a tile floor.

So, I wait.

I have to keep reminding myself that this is the place I picked to make a new home. Even with all the aged cracks in the walls, and the paint-stained carpet from sloppy work (Not me), this is the place I chose to make my fresh start. My goal should be to take this time and use it to tailor the house into a home for my iguana and I to enjoy while I wait for friends to come to my literal rescue.

I do want to address domestic abuse; both physical and emotional.

Physical abuse is easily identified by family, friends, and law enforcement. Emotional abuse is hard to see.

Emotional abuse is more damaging than physical abuse. People don't remember the wounds they received as much as they remember the trauma. Wounds heal, but trauma and broken hearts are hard to heal! Sometimes you can end up with physical scars from the damage done, but these are nothing compared to the wounds on someone's soul. Emotional abuse is longer lasting and more destructive than physical abuse.

There is a double standard between the two genders; women can be physically abusive while men cannot. Don't believe me, Dear Diary? Ever see a woman hit her man in public? On TV or the interweb? What was the reaction?! Now, let's say that a man hit that same woman in public; what kind of reaction would there be? Do you see the difference?... Double standard.

When it comes to emotional abuse, women are far more likely to commit this type of abuse on their spouse than men. When couples fight it can drag on for minutes, hours, or potentially days. Sometimes the fights can get pretty ugly. it's sad to say, but most arguments involve a major amount of emotional abuse as the couple tries to win the argument and bring it to an end. Now, a man can get mad, then go into his safe-zone (Man-cave, bar, basement, lounge, etc) crack a beer, have a smoke and a toke, and come back to his partner wanting to put the matter behind them because he'd like to have make-up sex. But!! When a woman gets mad, look out! Women can pick something they don't like and turn it into a seven-month-long hurt. Women (In my personal experience) hold a grudge like the Hoover Dam holds water. Oh! And when that damn breaks?!?1 Whoa, Nelly!! Boy, you're in for some serious guilt trips and negative connotations!! The best thing a man can do in this situation is back away slowly stating "I love you, Snookums", while tossing candy bars in your wake as you make your way to the closest establishment that sells alcohol by the pitcher......

.....if you're in trouble already, adding a few minor charges to your spouses list of things that tick them off is akin to Ontario courts; most of the silly charges will get thrown out in the end when the male makes a plea=bargain with the Crown... Errr... Wife.

In all seriousness, women commit more emotional abuse than men do. This could also be because males are too linear-minded to concentrate on more than one thing at a time, whereas women tend to multi-task in their brains.....

...seriously; go look it up if you don't believe what I just said.

70% of domestic assault incidences are initiated by women. Again, go look it up. This is an average.

Speaking of averages; in college and University rape cases, 50% are found to be bogus. In these matters there are no repercussions for the accuser (Female).

I realize I'm being vague, Dear Diary, resorting to the use of describing the possible scenarios in which domestic abuse takes place. I'm hoping that you might be able to read between the lines, as I left a trail of bread crumbs.

Moving on.

You should see my iggy; as I write this he is in what I call ""Godzilla mode".  He's moving around the room and checking everything out...... Knocking stuff over or off shelves...... "Godzilla mode", get it?

Well, I should go. Typing on my lap is difficult for me. Seems so foreign and strange. The monitor is so tiny for my eyes to read, and I have to hunch forward to make corrections.

I have a few more things to do today. Have a good one, eh?.

February 12th
Good morning, Dear Diary. It's windy and snowing, mixed with freezing rain. Schools are cancelled due to the dangerous conditions London is receiving......

.....I swear, if Mother Nature gets any more bi-polar I might try and date her.

I had planned to go uptown today and get a few things done, however, those plans may have just gone the way of the dodo bird.

Maybe I'll work on some writing, but I'm just hoping the weather clears up a bit and lets me go get groceries..... I need bread.... And coffee.

My roommate's stupid cat woke me up today at 3:30 AM. I did try to go back to sleep, but to no avail. Looks like it's going to be a long day.

I'm not a big fan of cats. I think I've stated that before, eh?

I don't feel like writing at this moment, mostly because of how tired I am. Perhaps a small nap to see if I can rejuvenate my senses.

Oh! Last night I tried to tuck Hephestusamazilion into bed on his branch using a small, warm towel. Nope!! He wasn't having it, and just like a little kid the iguana fussed and farted around, refusing to go to sleep. Once he even pulled the towelette off with his hand! Eventually I went over and picked him up to sooth him, and then plopped him down on the full-body pillow on the bed. He instantly closed his eyes and snuggled into the soft pillow. I shook my head as I pulled the thick blanket over him, amazed at how spoiled the little lizard has become.......

......he wants the soft pillow.. On the bed.. Next to me.

Well, I should bugger off. I imagine the world won't stop and wait for me will it?

Hope you have a warm (and safe) day! Keep all four wheels on the road, and the shiny side up, eh?

February 13th
Good morning, Dear diary. It's snowing, windy, and the sun refuses to shine. All across Canada there are school closures due to weather; either too cold or too much snow and ice.

Hephestusamazilion is doing well. His bedtime routine is becoming structured, and I can tell he enjoys snuggling on the bed, because the moment I place him on the body pillow the little fella snuggles in and closes his eyes. What a little cutie, eh? He's so gentle! I can tell he enjoys the quiet cuddles he gets, as well as, a space where there's no competition from another iguana.

I know for a fact that when he was in the care of She-who-cannot-legally-be-named that there was no structure to his day. Just like humans, animals need routine, and do much better when they have a structure to their day.

I just finished watching the news. It's easy to see that there have been major changes to the way CBC is producing their news program. The episode for February 12th, 2019, was actually quite bi-partisan, and my intelligence wasn't insulted watching the hour-long program. Could this be caused by the pressure I've placed on them by debunking them? A few people I've talked to claim that it is entirely possible that CBC was forced to change their ways due to pressure from analysts like me. There are many people who want me to start writing again, specifically for "Debunking the CBC".

I have to wait for a desk to properly start working again. Not sure when this will occur.

With the shit-show of weather we're receiving there's not much I can do today outdoors. I imagine I'm not the only one in the city of London who feels this way. Perhaps I'll tackle some writing today, but most likely I'll do some more cleaning.

Not much else to report. The cat wasn't as bad last night, so I managed to sleep nearly the whole night without interruption. My roommate and I are getting used to living with each other; some of our interaction yesterday solidified that.

It's very quiet where I'm currently living. I'm so happy about this! True, there is a bit of noise from the busy street I live on, but I can deal with such noise pollution; it's people that I have a hard time dealing with, or rather, the unpredictability of other people that I have difficulties with......

........humans are fickle, and they are the only species of mammal that will throw their own kind under the bus to save their own skin. This is just personal observation.

I should jet. I have court tomorrow, but that's not going to be anything major. I'm representing myself, and I've already reached a plea-deal with the Crown. Now it's just a matter of going through the legal motions.

Still haven't managed to get all my belongings. Still typing with a keyboard on my lap.

Well, I hope you have a wonderful snowy, cold day. Just remember that Spring is just around the corner, and all this white crap will eventually melt. For now, just keep your stick on the ice.... Talk soon.

[TO BE CONTINUED]

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